Ram Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 A spicy eveningram"What a beautiful day" says Misato. "It´s perfect for a party. Too bad that we have a lot work to do, but i´ll make it tonight. I´m going to tell Ritsuko." She goes where the doctor is working. "Good morning, Ritsuko. How are you today?" "Fine. I´m sorry, Misato, but i don´t have time to chat" "I´m here just to invite you to a party in my apartment" "I´m not going. I have a lot work to do and i´m staying late" "Oh came on, Ritsuko. I´m going to celebrate my promotion to Major and want everybody to be there" "OK, I´m going. When should i go?" "Tonight, at 7 would be fine" "OK. Emm What do you think if i take Maya with me?" "That would be fine. I was thinking to invite her as well" "Well then, i see you tonight at 7" "See you. Oh. I almost forgot. Where is Shinji? I haven´t seen him today." "He went camping with his friends Kensuke and Touji" "Whata a pity that they´re not going. Well, see you tonight". Misato leaves the room and goes back to her office. "I should call the girls." When she gets to her office, she grabs the phone.... "Hello, Asuka. How are you doing?" "I´m fine. How else could i be. What do you want, Misato?" "I just want to tell you that i´m throwing a party in my apartment tonight and i want you to be there at 7" "Did you invited Shinji and the idiots of his friends?" "Of course, but unfortunetly they aren´t here so they´ll not going. We´re gonna be just women." "So you didn´t invited Kaji" "No. Don´t even mention him." "Well. I´m going with Hikari." "Ok. If you see Rei tell her to be there at 7" "Why i have to do that?" "Because i said so. See you tonight. Bye." After that call, Misato spent the rest of the day working in her office.Back at home, Misato is going to do some cleaning. "What a mess. There is dust all over the place. I´ll have to hurry." She starts dusting a little, lifting a cloud of dust. "Oh no. I got some dust up my nose. ah... ah... ah... HAAASHOOO HAAASHOOO HASHOO. I should clean more often. HAASHOOO HAASHOOO HAAASHOOO HAAAAAAASHOOOOO". Misato keeps cleaning, and as long as she keeps cleaning, more dust she keeps lifting. "HAAASHOOO HAASHOO HAASHOO HAASHOOO. I almost finished. HAASHOOO HAASHOOO". Few seconds later she had finished cleaning. The dust was disipated, but Misato keeps sneezing and sneezing. "HAASHOO HASHOO HASHOO HAAASHOOO HAAASHOOO HAASHOOO HASHOOO I´m going to have a shower before my guests arrive HAHAHA HAAAAASHOOOOOOO". Misato goes to the bathroom and opens the shower. While she´s getting her clothes off, feels a little tickle in her nose. "ah.. ah.. ah.. ah.. SHOOOO HAAASHOOOO". She grabs a couple of kleenex and blows her nose. "AAAPFFFFFPFFFPFFF I think there is more dust in my nose, and tickles like hell ah.. ah.. ah.. ah.. ah.. aaah...". But the sneeze didn´t came out. Misato waits a few seconds more. "ah.. ah.. ah.. ah.. aaah.. aaaaaah...". But nothing happened, so she gets in the shower. Ten minutes later she turns off the shower. When she´s about to start drying her body feels the tickle in her nose again. "Oh it tickles again ah.. ah.. ah.. ah.. aaaah... damn sneeze, it won´t come out, but i know what to do". She grabs a kleenex and rolls it making a sharp tip. She sticks the the tip of the kleenex in her nostril and starts tickling it. "ah.. ah.. ah.. ah.. ah.. ah.. aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh... HAAAAAAAAAASHHOOOOOOOOOOOOO ahhhhhh now i´m relieved". With the help of such a tremendous sneeze, she gets rid of all dust left in her nose. Then she gets dressed just in time, when she hears the doorbell ring. It´s Ritsuko, with Maya, Asuka, Hikari and Rei. "Good evening, Misato" says the doctor "we came here all together. What happens with you? You have your nose all red". "When i came home i started cleaning, but it was full of dust and i spent the whole afternoon sneezing."After they had dinner and a few cups of coffee, they were a bit bored. "I didn´t thought what to do after dinner" says Misato. "We can play Monopoly or something like that" suggests Ritsuko. "I don´t have any, but let me see what can i find". Misato goes to the kitchen and starts looking everywhere, finding nothing but empy cans of beer. Suddenly, she hits the pepper can with her elbow. When it hit the floor, it breaks spilling the pepper. "Great, now i have to clean this too". When she starts cleaning, rises a cloud of pepper around her, and because she stills has her nose irritated, the effects showed inmediatly. "HAAASHOOO HAASHOOO HAASHOOO HAAASHOOOO greatSHOOO HAAASHOOO HAASHOOO the snHASHOO sneezes again HAAASHOOOO HAASHOOO HAAAASHOOOO". When the other women heard all the noise, the others came to the kitchen. They saw Misato in the middle of the sneezing fit and started laughing. "Why are you laughing HAASHOO HAASHOOO are you laughing because ah ah HAAASHOOO because of me? HAASHOO CSHOOO". "It´s very funny. The expression in your face". "Yeah HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA". "So you´re laughing of my funny faces when i´m sneezing HAASHOOO HAASHOOO HAAASHOOO SHOOO CSHOO ahhhh. I have an idea. HAASHOOO HAASHHOOOOO". Misato grabs a bag full of pepper and takes it to thte livingroom. "What are you doing?". "If it was so funny when i was sneezing, then i want to laugh of you as well. Let´s play a game". "With pepper?". "Yes. We´ll see who can hold the most trying not to sneeze. That way we can laugh about everyone". "Ok, i´ll be the first". "Ok, Asuka". Asuka takes some pepper from the bag. She puts it on her hand and takes a little sniff at it. "It already started tickling my delicate nose ah ah ah ah aahh but it´s not going to be that easy ah ah aah it tickles ah ahh so much ah ah aahh". Asuka is making such funny faces. She wrinkles her nose moving her head from side to side. The others are laughing of her. Even Rei is laughing, something very weird. "I do don´t th think i ah.. aahh.. i can´t hold ah.. ahh.. aahh.. it lo longer ah.. ah.. aahh.. i´m gonna gonna ah.. ah.. ah.. ah.. aaahhh.. AAAAAASHEEEEW AAAAASHEEEEEW AASHEEEW AASHEEW AAAASHEEEW ah.. ah.. ah.. aaaaaah.... AAAAAASHEEEEEEW". "Bless you, Asuka. Are you done?". "Not aaahh.. yet ah.. ah.. aahh.. AAASHEEEW AAASHEEEW AAASHEEEW SHEEW SHEEW AAAAAAAARGHHSHEEEEEEEEW. WOW it´s such a relief. I think that nobody can beat me. Your turn, Hikari". Asuka passes to Hikari the rest of the pepper she has in her hand. Hikari inhales it. "ah.. ah.. ah.. ah.. ATCHEE ATCHEE ATCHEE ATCHEE ATCHEE ah.. ah.. AATCHEE AAAATCHEEEE AAAATCHEEEE AAAATCHEEEEE ah.. ah.. ah.. aah.. ah.. aahh.. it won´t come out ah.. ahh.. aaaahhh... AAAAAATCHEEEEEEEE". "Gesundheit, Hikari. What happened to you?". "I´m so sorry ATCHEE ATCHEE i couldn´t hold them long enough ATCHEE ATCHEE ATCHEE AAATCHEEE AAATCHEEE i´m sorry, Asuka AAATCHEEE AAATCHEEE AAATCHEEEE". "It´s ok, Hikari. At least you tried. I think it´s someone else´s turn". "Come on, Ritsuko". "I don´t want to". "Come on. You´re enjoy like all of us, so you have to do it too". "Misato is right, Doc ah.. ah.. AAASHEEEW AAAASHEEEW Scheise i still got some pepper in my nose AAASHEEEW". "Ok, i´ll do it but i want you to know that i´m not happy with this". Ritsuko takes some pepper and sniffes it. "This is a very strong pepper. I already want to sneeze ah.. ah.. ah.. It burns, it burns a lot. ah.. ah.. ah.. ah.. aah.. aahh..aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh... almost escaped ah.. ah.. aahh..". While Ritsuko is trying not to sneeze, the others are lying on the floor, laughing like they never did before. "I never saw you before in such a state of weakness" says Misato. "aahh.. ah.. shut up aahh.. aahh.. aahh.. m.. my g g god aahh.. aahh.. i i can´t hold them any.. anymAAAAACHOOOOOO AAAACHOOOO AAACHOOOOO AACHOOOO AAAAACHOOOOOO AAACHOOOO AAACHOO AAAAACHOOOOO AACHOOO AAAACHOOOOO one more aaahhh.. aaaah... AAAAACHOOOOO oh i needed that". "Bless you, Doctor". "Thank you, Maya AACHOOOO i must admit that it was difficult AACHOO AACHOO AAAAACHOOOOO". "Guess it´s my turn". "Here you have some pepper, Maya". "I must tell you that i´m a very sneezy person. Once i start sneezing it´s very hard for me to stop". She sniffs the little amount of pepper she has in her hand. In a matter of seconds her eyes become full of tears and she started twitching her petite nose". "No ah.. aahh.. i´m not going to sneeze yet ah.. ah.. aahh.. it´s so hard not t to ah.. not to sn sneeze ah.. ah.. ah.. he here i g go ah.. ah.. aahh.. aaaaahhhhh.. KSHUUU AKSH AKSH KSH KSH KSH KSH AAKSH KSH KSH AKSHII AKSHII AKSH KSH KSH KSH KSHII AAAAKSHH AAAKSHH". "Wow. Bless you, MAya. That´s what i call a sneezing fit". "Thank you. B but it´s nos over ah.. ah.. AAAKSH AKSH AKSH KSH KSH KSH KSH AKSH AKKSH ah.. ah.. ah.. aahh.. aaaahhhhh.. AAAAAAAKSHUUUUUUU aaaaaaahhhhhhh i´m done for now". "Who´s next?". "Misato". "Are you thinking i should do it again? It wasn´t enough with the sneezing im the kitchen". "We weren´t playing". "Ok, but i think i can´t hold them for too long because of my irritated nose from before". Misato sniffs the pepper. Inmediatly the others can see the signs of the sneeze building deep in her nose. Misato closes her eyes wide shut and started to breath very fast. "ah.. ah.. i´m not hold them for lonAASHOOOO ah.. ah.. aahh.. aahh.. HAAAAAAAASHOOOOOOOO". That huge explosion bent her head forward to the point of almost knocking it against the table. "HAAASHOOO HAAAAASHOOOO HAAASHOOOO HAAASHOOO HAAASHOOO HAARAAASHOOOO OH GOD HAASHOO HAAAASHOOO i can´t stop HAASHOOO stop HAASHOOO snee snee sneezing HAAAAAAARRRRAAAAASHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO". "Bless you, Misato. Sure you win the prize for the strongest sneeze". "Well, well, well. I guess it´s the turn for the little nice girl" says Asuka taking some pepper. "Sneeze for us" says to Rei throwing some pepper to the bluehaired girl´s face, reaching Ritsuko´s face too. "What are you doing, Asuka AAAACHOOOO AAAACHOOOOO AACHOO AAACHOOOO take this" says Ritsuko throwing some pepper back to Asuka. "WhatSHEEW AAAASHEEEW AAAAASHEEEEW AAASHEEEW AAASHEEEW". "Now we are even" says Ritsuko. But the cloud of pepper reach Hikari´s nose, who´s sitting next to Asuka. "AAATCHEEE AAATCHEEE AATCHEE AATCHEE AAAAAATCHEEEE". That final sneeze made her jump off from where she was sitting. "Wow. That was a powerfull one". While Asuka and Ritsuko were fighting, nobody noticed the effort that Rei was doing trying not to sneeze. But after few seconds she couldn´t avoid getting noticed. She started to blink fastly and move her mouth in a strange way. Her breathing becomes more difficult. "ah.. ah.. aahh.. ah.. aahh.. ah.. aahh.. AAAAATSHHH AATSHH AAAAT.. SHHH AAATSHH AAAAT.. TSHH TSHH AAAATSHHHH". "God bless you, Rei. I never heard your voice for so much time". "Thank you, miss Misato. AATSH AAATSHH AATSH AAATSHH AAAAATSHH AAAAATSHHH". "Misato, could you bring AAASHEEEW AAASHEEEW bring some tissues, please? AAASHEEEW AAASHEEEW AAAAAASHEEEEW i still got pepper in my gorgeous nose AAATSHEEEW AAASHEEW AAAAASHEEEW". "I´ll bring for everyone HAASHOO i got some pepper in my nose, too HAASHOO HAASHOO HAAASHOOOO". Misato brings a big box of kleenex and leaves it on the table. Everybody hurries to get some. Ritsuko blows her nose and says "I still got this burning sensation deep in my nose AAAACHOOO AACHOO AACHOO AAAH.. TCHOO AAAAACHOOOO". "I know what you´re feeling, sempai" says Maya blowing her nose. "AAKSH AAKSH AAKSH AAKSH KSH KSH KSH AAKSH AAKSH ah.. ah.. ah.. AAKSH KSH AAAAAKSHUU". In that moment Rei stands up and says "Excuse me, miss Misato AATSHH AAATSH i´m going to use your bathroom AATSHH AAAT.. TSHH AATSH AAATSHH". "Go ahead, Rei". "Tha tha thanks AATSH AAATSH AAATSH AAATSHH AAAAAATSHHHHH". "It´s really weird hear her talking". After a while Rei returns from the bathroom, still sneezing. "AATSH AATSH AAAATSH AAAATSH AAATSH i´m going home, miss Misato. I´m feeling bad, think i´m catching a cold AAATSHH AAATSH AAATSH AAAATSH AAATSHH". "Wait. I think is time to go for everyone. Tomorrow, you, Asuka and Hikari have classes, and Misato, Maya and I have a lot of work to do, so we should go to bed early". "I guess Ritsuko is right". "I agree, Misato AAASHEEEW besides i´m so tired of sneezing AASHEEEW AAASHEEEW AAASHEEEW". "Oh I almost forgot. I think that we should not say anything about we did tonight". "Of course" says Misato " and we could do it again some other time". "But next time we´ll do it in my house" says Ritsuko. "AAAATSHH AATSH I´ll wait for you in your car, Doctor AAATSHH AAAAAATSHHH AAAAAAATSHHHHH". "Ok let´s go. Good night". Five minutes later Misato was alone. "What a weird day" says opening a can of beer. "I´ll go to sllep after this one" but a sensation, very repeated this day, assault her. "Oh I feel this tickle again ah.. ahh.. ah.. HAAAMPFF HAAMPF HAASHOOO HAASHOOO IIISHOOO IIIISHOOOO I hope i´m not catching a cold either IIISHOOO IIISHOOOO HAAASHOOOO IIISHOOOO". She finishes her beer and goes to her bedroom. Misato gets her clothes off and lays down when she feels the urge to sneeze. "Here we go again HAASHOOO HAASHOOO HAASHOOO ah.. ah.. aaahhh.. it stuck ah.. ah.. ah.. aahh.. aahh.. aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh...... HAAAAAAARRAAAAAAAAASHOOOOOOOOOOO Well i guess it´s the end of a very sneezy day" and she falls asleep.Hope you like it. Link to comment
Pilgrim Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 Why the hell doen't anyone else ever like your fics? You all should be ashamed letting this go so far down . Hey, that reminds me... Link to comment
SusieQusie Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 Why the hell doen't anyone else ever like your fics? You all should be ashamed letting this go so far down . Hey, that reminds me...<{POST_SNAPBACK}>What are you talking about? Nobody ever said everyone is required to enjoy every fic. If you like it, why not just post that you do? No need to be so concerned with everyone else's preferences, please be respectful outside of the pit...thank you. Link to comment
Unfettered Moth Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 i love all sneezing stories, but paragraphs = key. Link to comment
SusieQusie Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 i love all sneezing stories, but paragraphs = key.<{POST_SNAPBACK}>Yeah....it's a lot easier to read stuff in here if the paragraphs are well separated. I noticed that a while ago, nice tip Link to comment
Geist Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 Why the hell doen't anyone else ever like your fics? You all should be ashamed letting this go so far down . Hey, that reminds me...<{POST_SNAPBACK}>No one said they did not enjoy the writing of this person. Not to mention, that is a HORRIBLE thing to say to a writer as if you are implying that his efforts are disliked when no one has made a comment regarding such things.Personally, I just don't go for female sneezing fics . . . I don't care how well/poorly written they are. BUT, I DO read what others write on the forum because they read my stuff and EVERY writer likes feedback!Soooooooooooo........nice job on the sneezing! For those who enjoy short stories with lots of sneezing, this is a great read! However, I DO have to agree with the paragraph sentiments expressed here. I am a slight grammar Nazi (and am willing to admit it!) and it's very difficult to read this, as I do not know where one action ends and another ends. BUT, as I said, it's definitely heavy on the sneezing (and good spellings, too!), which is apparently what many people enjoy! ~Frack Link to comment
Demosthenes Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 That story was incredible! I love you man... well, you know what I mean. Link to comment
Garnet Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 Meh, gotta be honest, I don't...dig it that much. Asuka is one of the few females in anime that I can tolerate, too, so...meh.I admit that I couldn't even get through it due to the paragraphs. I guess I just like a little more structure and...description to my stories.Wtf at least you went out and did it, though Garnet never posts her crapstories. Link to comment
IsuIsa Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 Oh my gosh, I LOVE Evangelion! Really great story! Link to comment
Pseudosneeze Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 Somebody should make a kushami doujinshi of this story. That would be awesome. Link to comment
Ram Posted February 7, 2005 Author Share Posted February 7, 2005 Ok then, i will try not to write anymore Link to comment
Ram Posted February 8, 2005 Author Share Posted February 8, 2005 I only tried to write some female sneezing stories because there are a few of them, so please someone wrote some. Link to comment
Geist Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 Hey man, every writer has fans and critics in pretty much equal numbers! Don't let that sway ya . . . .Do your thing and do it for you......~Frack Link to comment
Unfettered Moth Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 Ok then, i will try not to write anymore <{POST_SNAPBACK}>don't have that attitude. every writer has someone who doesn't like their work. shit, use the criticism to make your work better. personally, i appreciate the fact that you wrote the story and hope you keep at it. Link to comment
Pilgrim Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 Ok then, i will try not to write anymore Ah, fuck, that's not because of what I said is it? Please say it isn't, I have enough enemies with out adding myself to the list. You must keep writing. Ignore the critics. Except the one about paragraphs, unless that discourages you more; I'd rather have a hard time reading than read nothing at all. Please continue writing! Link to comment
Ram Posted February 8, 2005 Author Share Posted February 8, 2005 Ok. Next time i will do my best. Link to comment
SusieQusie Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 Ok then, i will try not to write anymore <{POST_SNAPBACK}>Please! I'm sure you all remember this. And I haven't stopped drawing, nor have I stopped doing sneeze art. Don't worry about it, you shouldn't stop writing if you enjoy it....and from what I can see...your praise in this thread definitely outweighs the criticism Link to comment
Garnet Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 I only tried to write some female sneezing stories because there are a few of them, so please someone wrote some.Are you kidding? c_c; Look around the community, buddy, click on some websites. There is a TON of female material out there. Link to comment
Feta Sneeze Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 what's wrong with these people?? can someone get rid of theM?? they need a life. Link to comment
Feta Sneeze Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 I LOVE YOU SILVERWOLF<{POST_SNAPBACK}>May the Lord have mercy on my soul.... Link to comment
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