The politician's speech (f) story - (2 Parts)

[Chanel_no5]

Maggie Riverstone was a big shot in the European Parliament. She was popular, a good speaker and a very stylish woman. She was also trustworthy, anything SHE told the people was accepted. Almost everybody trusted her, so let's face it - she was the star of the Parliament.

She was in her mid forties, slim, elegant in a somehow unapproachable and cold way, she was a cold blonde with features of steele, but her hazel eyes were warm and caring and this mix between coldness and warmth wasn't confusing, it was just complete.

Yes, she was an intriguing speaker, but deep inside she had a constant fear of sneezing while she was making a speech. This may not sound so strange if you knew just how bad her allergies really were... but we're just about to find out.

***

"...concidering the economical aspects of this project..."

"She's amazing, isn't she?"

Somebody said to me. I shrugged. Her politics wasn't really mine, but I was simply a journalist and I had to keep my opinions to myself. Plus, I never said anything mean about other people. That wasn't my thing and it never had been. But she was a good speaker, and she was very nice to look at. I studied her pretty face more closely, and my trained eye noticed something most people wouldn't see. A little pink around her nostrils. Of course, that didn't have to mean anything. But now she had really caught my attention, much more than her speech would ever managed. Didn't she sound a little bit stuffed up? Yes, she did. And didn't her nose twitch every now and then, ever so slightly? Yes, it did. I thanked the Lord I was the one journalist to have a special interview with her after this speech. Suddenly I noticed she almost closed her eyes, she was still talking but her breath was hitching. Not much, but enough for me to feel a tingle in my stomache. After all, this speech was broadcasted all over the world, in many countries it was LIVE broadcasted. But no, she didn't sneeze. She looked down at the papers before her, seemed to force the sneeze to stay in, then she kept talking. I was impressed, but I knew that this sneeze was going to come out sooner or later, no matter what she did.

"In conclusion, it's essential for us to cooperate in order to build theHAH-ISSSSSCHEEW!"

My mouth opened. I was shocked. It was one of those "all-of-a-sudden-spray-for-miles-sneezes" that we all know and love. Never in my wildest dreams (OK, in my wildest dreams perhaps, but nowhere else) could I imagine this would ever happen. She must've sneezed all over her papers and maybe even the people in the first row. I had actually seen the spray. It was probably the wettest sneeze I had ever seen, and believe me, I've witnessed plenty!

She got herself together and sniffed harshly, followed by a sheepish and somehow very sweet smile and flushing cheeks.

"I'm very sorry about that. Well, as I was saying..."

She finished the speech perfectly, but I was so taken by this sudden and yet so expected sneeze that I didn't listen. All I could think about was our little private interview...

***

She approached me with a smile and we shoke hands.

"My boss would like a sort of tête-à-tête interview in a nice surroundings, maybe the park over there?"

I said, trying real hard not to show how much that would mean to me. She looked a little bit worried for a few seconds, then she gave me her best PR-smile and said OK. So we walked into the park, which was full of lovely flowers and trees in full blossom, then we sat down at a bench.

"What does this project mean to you?" I asked.

"It means a lot, not only to me personally, but to Europe and the people that lives there. But of course it's very special to me since I was one of the people behind the idea."

"Was it hard to convice others about the good things in this project? It is, after all, a brand new concept."

"I don't convince people. I inform them and let them decide for themselves. This suggestion became popular and I'm very proud over that."

There was this twitch again. And she rubbed her nose quickly with her finger. Oh yes, there would be sneezing.

"I hear you have problems to convince your own party about this suggestion, how to you handle that?"

"Well, as I said, I don't convince people. I think it's sad that they don't see all the good things and improvement that this would lead to... HA-ssscheww! HA-ssscheww! ISSSCHEEW!"

"Bless you."

"Oh don't bless me yet... HAH-isscheww! Isschhoo! ISSSCHeww! ISSCHeeew... Hah-SCHOO! Oh these allergies... AH-ssschheww! Thank God I didn't go on like this before... HEH-ISSSSCHeeew!"

She kept on sneezing, just turning her face to the side (I don't think she ever noticed that she turned directly into the camera), and neither me nor the camera guy had any tissues to offer her. She looked very embarrassed and when her sneezing faded, she wouldn't look at me when she said:

"I hope you cut this."

Like we were going to show this to the whole world.

"Of course we will. I'll take care of it myself."

I promised her, even though I knew the camera guy looked at me like I was an idiot. We had people to cut and edit, but I meant what I said: I would do this myself. Because I was going to keep a copy of this tape.

"Could we take the rest of the interview some other day? I don't feel very well right now."

We agreed to have the rest of the interview done tomorrow, and I was walking on clouds when we left the park. The camera guy said:

"Poor chick."

"Yes."

I replied. Then I said:

"Do you want me to take care of that camera?"

He shrugged and said:

"Whatever."

I carried the video camera like it was a golden treasure. And to me, it certainly was...

The end

[jgj5480]

Simply amazing story...they just keep getting better and better! Jaime

[Chanel_no5]

Simply amazing story...they just keep getting better and better! Jaime

*lol* Thank you very much... the funny thing is that I didn't use a lot of time to write this story. I wrote it during a commercial break on TV...

[JellyBelly]

Great story, Chanel! You're a great story writer.

[Guest James Worthy]

I recently was at a meeting where several politicians were sitting on a dais.

During one of the speeches a female politician, about 5'5 curly black hair, 50's, heavyish and not so pretty slowely brought here hands in front of her face and sneezed "sssshooooo" into her hands.

the politician that was speaking stopped to bless her and then continued.

JW

[Chanel_no5]

I recently was at a meeting where several politicians were sitting on a dais.

During one of the speeches a female politician, about 5'5 curly black hair, 50's, heavyish and not so pretty slowely brought here hands in front of her face and sneezed "sssshooooo" into her hands.

the politician that was speaking stopped to bless her and then continued.

JW

Too bad politicians in general are not attractive, because the idea of sneezing while making a very important speech is SO hot...

[Chanel_no5]

Hey guys! So, finally I'm back... my computer hasn't felt very well lately, but now it's OK again. Thank God. I've missed you.

Here comes a story I've written during summer, it's a sequel to "The politician's speech" (as you probably can guess, lol!)

The politician's speech II

About two years have passed since Maggie Riverstone gave the famous speech that media called "the sneeze speech", and earned her the nickname Sneezy Riverstone. After numerous TV-shows with the clip of her world-famous sneeze shown as "the blooper of the year", or sometimes even "the blooper of the decade", things slowly went back to normal. She had given several speeches since then, without sneezing, but even though she told herself that nothing like that could happen twice, she couldn't really believe it. She was afraid it would happen again. It was bad enough that her family and friends got to see her sneeze all the time, but the whole world...?

Still, she never told anyone about her fears. She moved on with a smile. Her project worked out and she became the vice-president of the European Economics Committée, where we find her now.

Maggie was in her office working on a new plan for the economic problems of the member countries of the Union. She was well aware that this was the last chance to make the European Union work economically, and she was convinced she could come up with a plan to make it easier to accept even to those who didn't like EU politics. Her collegue, Ann Lewis, popped in, very unwanted as usual.

"Not now Ann"

Maggie said in an absent-minded voice without even looking at her.

"Come on Mags, you can't go on like this. It's been, what, 24 hours since you got some sleep?"

"Fourtyeight"

Maggie corrected her in the same absend-minded voice and put her reading glasses on the table. She ran her fingers through her blonde hair and turned around, facing the other woman, who said:

"Do you hear yourself? How long is it since you had something to eat then?"

Ann was a pretty lady in her early fourties, a very bright politican but with way too much interest in interfering with other people's personal life. Maggie couldn't stand her, but for some reason Ann really enjoyed her company and bugged her as often as she possibly could. Either that, or she just wanted to keep Maggie from doing her job properly. Maggie tried not to sound annoyed as she replied:

"I have to get this done before tomorrow. It has to be announced on a meeting in a few days. Will you please leave me alone now?"

Ann looked insulted.

"Okay Margaret Riverstone, forgive me for caring about you!"

Maggie, looking very fresh but feeling very tired, replied with a hard-won patience and a diplomacy that would impress the Good Lord himself:

"I really appreciate that you care about me, but I'm very stressed right now. Tell you what, as soon as I'm done let's have coffee together? Or even better, a beer!"

Ann smiled.

"Okay. But don't wear yourself out now, you hear me!"

She left and Maggie sighed with relief and went back to work. Suddenly she realized that the cleaner had forgotten to close the window. Her office was the only one in the whole building that had several trees and bushes right outside. Of course. The allergic reaction to the pollen overtook her.

"AAAH-isshhh...AHissshh...HA-ISSCHEEW!"

She tried to turn her head away from the things she was working on as she sneezed, but her sneezes didn't follow a pattern, they could be very unexpected and uncontrollable, and she didn't always succeed. Her sneezes had sprayed all over papers, files, even the computer keyboard and screen.

"Ha-isscheew! AH-SSSHOO! wha-itssscheew! ISSSHEW!"

She grabbed a box of Kleenex. She had only just opened that same morning, but now it was almost empty. She blew her nose very carefully, trying to get rid of all the pollen that chafed her poor nose. Her beautiful hazel eyes filled with tears as she tried to fight off the tickle and stifle the attack, without any luck.

"ISSSHH-HOo! Oh God... ATSSSCHEEW!"

Ann showed up in the doorway. It was unevitable that she would see Maggie struggle to stop sneezing, without succeeding.

"Bless you dear. It sounds bad today."

"No worse than... than... Ah-ISSSCHEEW! Issshhhoo... HI-sschheew.. yesterday."

"Bless you again."

"Issshhoo... HA-tsscheew..Ahhhh... ahhh... TSSCHeew... Don't bless me yet... AAH-tsschheww! I won't be done for long... ATSSCHEEW!"

Maggie told her so because she wanted Ann to leave. But Ann didn't take the hint. She was still standing there, watching Maggie very closly. If Maggie hadn't been so busy sneezing she would yell at her to leave her alone. She'd probably curse as well. But now, she could only give in to the continous and helpless sneezing.

Ann noticed the empty box of Kleenex and the dustbin that was full of used tissues.

"Do you want me to get some more tissues for you?"

What Maggie really wanted was for Ann to take a hike and never return, but she really needed to blow her nose and she didn't want to walk down the corridor to the bathroom, sneezing non-stop and probably have at least five people ask her if she was alright. She hated when people asked her that, and she would always pretend that she was fine. She refused to tell anyone about her allergies, or when she had a cold.

"Ah-ssshhho! Ah-tsschhii! Yes please! ATSSSHeeew!"

Ann left and Maggie exploded into a fit of sneezes that made her body bend at the waist. She happened to knock over a pile of papers which spread all over the room, but was unable to do anything about it. All she could do was to let go and sneeze.

"HUH-TSSCHEEW! AAAAATSSCHEEW! ISSSCHEEW! ISSCHEEW! HA-TSSSCHEEW! AH-ISSSHHOO! AH-SSSHOO! IIIIITSSCHH!"

When Ann returned, Maggie brought both hands to her face and sneezed into them because she didn't want Ann to see the look upon her face. Allergy tears running down her cheeks, nostrils flaring and her lips shivering as if she was crying. Her suit jacket was soaked with the spray from her messy sneezes and she felt embarrassed.

Ann gave her some tissues and Maggie desperatly groped for them. When she got hold of them she brought all of them to her face and sneezed violently into them until the soft paper was all wet and crumbled. Then she just dropped them. They fell to the floor in a sad heap. Maggie still sneezed, breathlessly and helplessly. Ann went back to her own office and got another box of Kleenex. She only kept it there for occasions like this; to offer Maggie when she was sneezing. She pulled out a big bunch of tissues from the box and handed them to Maggie, who sneezed harshly three times in a row before she could catch her breath enough to blow her nose. She blew so hard it felt like her head was going to explode. Then she just stopped sneezing. She reached for another bunch of tissues and blew her nose once again, much more gently, then took another tissue and wiped her eyes and lips. She wouldn't look directly at Ann, when she mumbled a stuffed-up:

"Thank you."

Ann shrugged.

"Feeling better?"

She asked and looked at the tissue in Maggie's hand. It was falling to pieces like the ones before it.

"Yes, thank you. You cad go, I'll have to work sobe bore od this."

Ann put the half-emptied box of Kleenex on Maggie's desk and started to pick up the papers. She threw the used tissues into the dustbin before Maggie realized what she was doing.

"Do, it's fide, I'll do that..."

Maggie protested, but Ann didn't stop.

"I'll take care of it. You just catch your breath. That was some allergy attack!"

Maggie froze.

"I'b not allergic."

"Really? And what was that? A summer cold?"

Maggie's cheeks slowly turned bright red.

"Do. I just sdeezed, that's all."

Ann didn't believe her.

"A sudden sneeze attack that lasts for almost twenty minutes, without reason? For a politician, you don't lie very convincing."

Maggie didn't answer. Ann realized that even though she was making a joke, Maggie didn't like it. She finished what she was doing and left the room very slowly, trying to come up with something to say to smooth it over, but she couldn't say anything.

Now Maggie was alone, but she couldn't keep on working. She was thinking about Ann. Ann had hardly talked to her before the "sneeze speech", although they already back then worked in the same corridor and often had meetings together. But since Maggie made a complete fool out of herself by sneezing in live broadcast all across Europe, Ann had became almost attatched to her. Always hanging around. Maggie was wondering what this was. Maybe Ann felt sorry for her embarrassment? Or maybe she wanted Maggie to humiliate herself again? Or maybe... Maybe Ann liked to watch her sneeze?

"Stupid. There is no such thing as a liking for sneezing. Go back to work."

She told herself in a low and very tired voice. But she didn't obey her own order. She went online and typed the words "sneeze liking" into a search engine. Surprisingly, she found a match. It was a page that mentioned something about a sneeze fetish. She checked it out. The first thing that met the eye was a big picture of herself in the middle of a very wet sneeze that sprayed the paper before her. The picture caption said: "Could it be any sexier? Man, I'd kill to be that paper!"

"Oh my God"

She whispered, breathless. She was shocked, and she supposed she was both embarrassed and angry, but in a way, she also felt a bit flattered. Actually very flattered. So many people had laughed and made jokes about her, jokes that often combined her famous sneeze and the first part of her last name. Countless others had been annoyed and told her she was rude and that it was most inappropriate to act that way and so on and so on. But there were apparently some people who liked it. Hell, by the look of that page, they LOVED it. Men and women, various ages, various countries. The more she read, the more flattered she became. She supposed she should feel uncomfortable, especially considering the fact that people actually... well, pleased themsleves to a picture of her sneezing, but she couldn't really see the harm in it. She thought about writing a comment on the website, but then she didn't.

A few days later the parliament had accepted her suggestions and she was going to make a public statement. Live broadcast. Of course, this was important stuff. For the first time in her life she had written her own speech and wasn't going to show it to anybody else.

Well-dressed, wearing a perfect make-up and looking like an elegant moviestar of old times, she smiled at the people and the media. Everybody was there. So was her allergies. While she told the public about the new project, everything was fine. But at the end of the speech, her nose started to tickle. The tickle became worse and worse, as she knew it would. This time, she didn't try to pretend it wasn't there. Instead, in a studied way, she paused in the middle of a sentence, closed her eyes and took a couple of slow, hitching breaths while she brought her hand up to her face but didn't cover up. This sneeze was going to hurt. She could feel just how powerful it would be.

"HAAA-ITTTSSSCHEEW!"

She smiled, a quick, sweet smile, before the next sneeze overwhelmed her and she bent over at the waist as she let it out:

"AAATSSSSSHEEW!"

She sniffed and it immidiatly triggered another attack.

"AH-issshhhh...AH-issshhh... HA-ITSSSCHEEW! AH-TSSSCHEEW!"

She did the same thing over again. A whole world in shock started at her, and nobody could look away. She let them stare. She let the sneezing fit take its time. Then she stunned the world even more by going on with:

"Why do you look so surprised? I'm human. I have weaknesses. I'm allergic. I sneeze. Actually, I sneeze a lot. I can't help it. Make jokes about it if you like. Grumble about it if you like. But I know for a fact that there is nothing I can do to keep from doing it. So help me God, I'll probably sneeze my head off in media time and time again. If you don't like it, I'm very sorry. If you do like it - and I know some of you do - I love you."

That speech became the "weirdest political speech of all times". It didn't bother Maggie. Actually she thought it was good.

She often visited the websites where her sneezing and the speech was discussed, and the discussion was mostly about whether or not she had the fetish herself, knew about the fetish or only was hot and weird. Many times she almost wrote a comment, but then she never did. Some things are better left unsaid. Let them wonder.

The end.

[Esperanza]

Yay, you're back!!

Really great story - as always! Thanks for sharing.

[The Dude]

That was a wonderful story Chanel. Thank you so much for sharing it.

And welcome back.

J