It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year - (4 Parts)

[SneezeDoc4u]

thanks a lot i was really looking forward to this

[silentdreamer789]

Very nice! I hate Natalie, but LOVE all the contagion in the last chapter. And brilliantly written, as usual.

silentdreamer789

[The Sneezster]

You're all a bunch of twisted sick twitches, you know that, don't you?

I really really hate Natalie.

(I just loooove to hate her, don't you?)

[Alucard]

Great story!

[Prodigy]

I hate her too, and yet I love her...

(we are all sick and twisted, aren't we...?)

[The Sneezster]

OK, there's another Natalie chapter, but this is it. The LAST ONE! I can't stand her any more. Ugh! Hope you enjoy it, you sick nuts!

***************************************************************************************

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year – Part IV

Thank goodness the holiday was over! With Natalie suffering from a miserable cold and all the kids sick, and her husband no help at all – typical Christmas at Natalie’s house – it was more of an ordeal than a pleasure.

Now their vacation plans were pretty much ruined. Natalie’s husband claimed to be too sick to take the family to the ski resort. Men were such babies when they had colds, Natalie fumed. He wasn’t any sicker than she was, but you didn’t see Natalie lying around in bed taking it easy. Nope – it was business as usual, cold or no cold, Natalie thought glumly. If it weren’t for her, nothing would get done.

She looked in on the kids, all of them in pajamas and sprawled around the den watching TV and coughing. Her son was looking particularly listless and his color was awful – dead pale with spots of high color in each cheek. Probably his fever was up, Natalie sighed. She approached him with the ear thermometer, and she knew he must be feeling sick when he didn’t even squirm and object as she checked his temperature. 103. The boy was burning up and his cough sounded dreadful. He probably needed a doctor’s visit. As long as she had the thermometer out, she checked the other kids for fever. The twins were simmering at 100.4 and 100.2, and her oldest daughter was running a temp of 101.1. Maybe they all should go to the doctor – they probably had the flu or something.

Natalie sighed, massaging her forehead. How did kids manage to get sick all at once and invariably when Natalie herself was sick and at her least able to manage everything? And just to make things harder for her, Natalie reflected, her husband always picked a time when she was sick to put himself to bed with a cold. That left Natalie to deal with everything herself. As usual.

Natalie coughed thickly. Ugh. This nasty, chesty cough kept her up all night, and she’d been coughing pretty much non-stop all morning as well. Oh! What a cold! Natalie couldn’t remember when she last had a cold this nasty. If only she could clear her congested head! Grabbing a wad of Kleenex from the box, she tried to blow her nose. Hard as she tried, she could get no air to pass the blocked passages. She tried swallowing and clearing her throat – oh! did her throat feel hot and tight! – and attempted blowing again. Something moved a little, gumming up the Kleenex with a thick wad of yellow-green snot. Encouraged, she took a deep breath and gave a powerful blow. As if a dam broke in her head, a huge load of slimy yellow-green goo broke loose, spilling over the wad of tissues and into her hand. Natalie dropped the gooey wad of tissues on the kitchen table and grabbed up several more, blowing her congested nose with vigor. Six great snotty gurgly blows later, and the kitchen table was half-covered with slimy, gooey, snotty tissues, but she could barely pass any air through her nostrils. Natalie looked at the impressive load of snot she’d produced with satisfaction. That was the good thing about getting sick, she thought, you could always lose some weight. She’d probably just lost two pounds in snot alone!

Encouraged by that thought, Natalie figured it would be the perfect time to jump-start her diet. With a little effort, she could probably drop seven pounds in a week. A fit of coughing overtook her, and Natalie sat for several minutes at the kitchen table, coughing a thick chesty cough. It was with great effort that she was able to cough up some very thick clumps of greenish phlegm, and the exertion left her short of breath and lightly perspired, with her heart pounding. Natalie rubbed at her sore, tight chest and groaned miserably, then smiled. If a cough like that wasn’t aerobic exercise, well, she didn’t know what was! She probably just burned off more calories than if she’d worked out on the Stairmaster. Inspired, Natalie decided to head over to the gym. She deserved a break after taking care of the kids. Let her lay-about husband pitch in for once!

Natalie went into the bedroom and flicked on the light. Her husband turned over in bed and moaned.

“Honey, I need you to get up and keep an eye on the kids. I’m going out.”

“I’m not feeling well, Nat.”

“Oh, please! You have a cold. Stop being such a baby!”

“A bad cold.”

“Oh, I’m sicker than you are, and you don’t see me hanging around in bed.” As Natalie raised her voice in irritation, her throat felt tight and her voice cracked. She launched into another nasty coughing fit, which she tried to ease by pounding on her chest with her fist.

“Jeez, Nat! Can’t you cover that?”

“Well, aren’t you grumpy. Dammit, I do everything around here, and nobody gives a damn if I’m sick. Just get off your butt and help out, won’t you!”

Natalie’s nose itched, and she swiped at it with the back of her hand. “HEH-KHEK! HEH-KHEK!” The powerful sneezes pitched her forward and loosed more gooey snot from her nose, handing in a green slimy rope from her nose to the bed. Oh gross! “Hand me some Kleenex, will you?”

“Jeez, Nat! What’s wrong with you? Can’t you cover that?”

“Just shut up and hand me the tissues.”

He pushed the box towards her, and Natalie grabbed a handful to mop up the snot. Ugh! Worst cold in the world! She left the snotty tissues on the bed, and grabbed up another wad and blew her nose vigorously. That last sneeze must have broken more of the congestion loose, Natalie realized, as huge amounts of thick, slimy snot poured from her nostrils onto the Kleenex and her hand. How could the volume of snot coming out of her head exceed the volume capacity of her whole head? Natalie shook her head as she dropped the disgusting slimy wad onto the bed and grabbed up some more Kleenex for another big, gurgly, wet blow. Oh! Things were clearing out now! She repeated the procedure three more times, as the messy pile of befouled tissues began tumbling from the bed to the floor.

He husband watched the whole performance from his side of the bed, queasy at the sight of it. “Jeez, Nat! That’s a hell of a cold! You should be in bed. Where are you heading out to?”

“Well, some of us don’t have the luxury of lying around every time we get the sniffles.”

“What’s so important that it can’t wait until you’re doing better?”

“I’m going to the gym.”

“You’re nuts, Nat. You’re in no shape to work out. Take it easy, why don’t you?”

“Well,” she sniffed, “some of us care about our health. I’m not going to lay about and get fat and flabby.”

“That’s what I get for marrying a stubborn woman,” thought Natalie’s husband, “She’ll never listen, never give in. She looks like crap, too. I can’t imaging they’ll be that pleased to see her show up looking so sick.” Head throbbing, body aching, chilled and congested, Natalie’s husband hauled himself out of bed, put on slippers and bathrobe, pulled the blanket around his shoulders, shawl-style, and shuffled down the hall to sit with the kids in the den.

Natalie changed into her sweat suit, and stuffed the pockets full of tissues. She gave an experimental sniff, but was still unable to pass any air through her very congested nose. Ugh! She always had the worst colds! This one was just awful, with her head and her chest totally congested, achy, chilled, just miserable. She put a hand to her forehead. Wouldn’t be surprised to find she had a fever, just like the kids. Well, it was to be expected, with the kids bringing home all manner of germs from school. And they always managed to time it just when she was sick with a cold of her own. People were so inconsiderate that way, sending their sick kids to school where they, of course, spread their germs to Natalie’s kids. If only people would have the decency to stay home when they were contagious, instead of hacking and sneezing all over the place, she probably wouldn’t even be sick now, Natalie reflected.

Natalie gave her nose a few more hearty blows, clearing still more slimy snot, tossed the tissue in the general direction of the wastepaper basket, wiped her hands on her sweatpants, and grabbed her jacket and keys and headed over to the gym.

The wintry air tightened her already congested chest, and Natalie pushed open the door to the gym, coughing thickly. Her deep, chesty cough overpowered the music they had playing, and all heads turned towards its source. Natalie coughed her way over to the sign-in desk, holding her gym bag open with one hand and rummaging through to produce her gym membership card with the other. The two receptionists behind the desk stepped well back to avoid being coughed on. They exchanged glances, and one of them volunteered, “Nasty cough you’ve got. Not feeling well today?”

“Just a cold is all.”

“Sounds like a bad one, though. Are you OK to be here?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I never let a cold keep me in. You can’t give in to these things, you know?”

With that, Natalie reared back, then pitched forward with a powerful “HEH-KHEK!” A snot missile launched from her nose and splattered on the sign-in sheet. “Ugh. Sorry about that,” Natalie said, fishing a soggy Kleenex from her pocket and smearing the snot around. She left the dirty tissue on the counter and fished two more from her pocket, blowing her nose vigorously. A thick, rich flow of slimy green-yellow snot covered the tissues. “Oh! That’s better!” Natalie dropped those tissues along with the other on the counter. “Would you mind tossing those out for me? Thanks!” she called over her shoulder, as she headed for the locker room. She missed the looks of disgust that followed her there.

On the way to the locker room, Natalie checked the posted schedule of classes. She was in luck! Intermediate yoga was beginning in just a few minutes. She quickly locked her bag and jacket into the locker and headed for the yoga room. A big class today. The room was very crowded with women on their mats, but Natalie was able to spy a scrap of free space. She grabbed a yoga mat from the pile and threaded her way through the room, laying her mat down between two women. Even when each moved their mats a few inches over, Natalie’s still overlapped her neighbor’s by an inch or so on each side. She allowed herself a good warm-up stretch, which only served to launch her into another fit of coughing. The instructor at the front of the room patiently waited for her to stop, while her neighbors eyed her with apprehension and edged away as much as they could. Finally, her cough under control, Natalie spat a thick gob of greenish phlegm into one of her tissues, examined it, and dropped it on her mat. She hoped the yoga would help loosen up her tight, congested chest, as well as her muscles.

Under the direction of the yoga instructor, the class moved through their poses. Natalie felt a prickle building in her nose, but concentrated on holding her balance and not breaking the yoga pose, as she let loose two powerful, uncovered “HEH-KHEK’s” The yoga neighbor to Natalie’s left let out a surprised yelp as the spray from Natalie’s sneezes splattered her and her mat. Before she transitioned to the next pose, Natalie fished a couple of tissues from her pocket and wiped the snot from her lip, and gave a few wet, gurgly blows, filling the tissues with a heavy load of snot. She dropped those tissues to the mat to join the growing pile there.

“Deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth,” the instructor directed. There was no way any breath, deep or otherwise, was passing through Natalie’s blocked nose. She took a deep wheezy breath through her mouth, and was instantly launched into a spasm of coughing. At first, Natalie tried to stifle the cough, and hold her pose, but the wheezy rattle in her congested chest proved too strong to hold back, and the sound of Natalie’s thick and phlegmy cough drowned out the yoga instructor’s directions and the soothing music. After a minute or so of the class waiting for the coughing to stop, Natalie broke her pose, and bent forward, rubbing at her chest with one fist and coughing onto the other one.

“If you need to go out to get a drink of water…” the instructor began, but Natalie shook her head and croaked out in a strangled voice, “I’m fine.”

“Would you mind covering that, huh?” sniped the woman behind Natalie, “You’re going to get us all sick!”

“I’m fine,” insisted Natalie, as she finally stopped coughing, and spat thick greenish phlegm into some tissues. She dropped those tissues onto the heap that was spilling off her mat.

“If you’re not feeling well, you don’t have to stay,” said the instructor.

“I’m fine,” Natalie insisted, blowing her nose, and dropping the tissues.

“Could you not throw your used tissues on my mat?” the woman to her right complained, nudging them back onto Natalie’s mat with her foot.

Natalie sniffed and ignored here, turning her attention pointedly back to the instructor.

Natalie was able to continue through the remainder of the class, maintaining her balance and discipline as she achieved the various yoga poses, holding them steady even when she sneezed and coughed. She was pleased with herself for making it to the gym and doing so well in class, despite having a dreadful cold.

Before she finished up her gym session, Natalie managed to pass her germs on to her fellow gym enthusiasts, so that they, too, could great the New Year with their own dreadful colds.

[poiub]

OK, there's another Natalie chapter, but this is it. The LAST ONE! I can't stand her any more. Ugh! Hope you enjoy it, you sick nuts!

Are you intentionally being as hypocritical as Natalie?

Cool story

[And Beat Him When He Sneezes]

You're making her so disgusting--and lowering the sneeze-per-story ratio--to stop us from clamoring for more, aren't you? It's still a cool story.

[The Sneezster]

You're making her so disgusting--and lowering the sneeze-per-story ratio--to stop us from clamoring for more, aren't you?

Bingo.

[K.Matsuri]

Ooooh my god...I hate people like Natalie! So much!!! My skin's crawling!! Aaaah >__<

Of course, it's because all four parts are so well-written that I'm so grossed-out! Awesome writing, but ooooh, groooooosssss >____<;;; So much snot, so much contagion...she's so insensitive, and hypocritical! Can I kick her? (Please?)

Woo. I need a blanket to keep my skin from crawling any more o_O;;

[Vetinari]

Grim but strangely compulsive.

You're some writer!

[count tiszula]

Grim but strangely compulsive.

You're some writer!

How true; and I've somehow missed the middle part until now.... But she is so horrible that she is oddly compelling, and I suspect she's a bit of a fetishist's dream, with all that uncovered messiness.

I wonder what her husband sees in her...if she suddenly reformed her attitudes, would he go off her?

Oh, and does she get hay fever [and who does she blame it on]?

[The Sneezster]

I wonder what her husband sees in her...if she suddenly reformed her attitudes, would he go off her?

Oh, and does she get hay fever [and who does she blame it on]?

You'll never know, because there will be no more Natalie stories. I hate Natalie. She makes my skin crawl too. Ugh. Awful.

I don't know what is wrong with you people.

Or with me.

[Pilgrim]

Don't you see, the more gross and evil you make her, the more we love to hate her

Great job. I can safely say I am satisifed.

[Guest UncommonCold]

Haha Right! We love to hate her! You're an awesome writer indeed.

[Ezmac_45]

I know I'm late on seeing this story but I absolutely loved it