Vetinari's Drabble Thread

[littlesneezer18]

:D Wow Vet!!! You've simply outdone yourself. You do such fantastic drabbles!!!! I love all of them and wish sneezecat would come to life........ Thank you and keep up your stunning work!

[Vetinari]

4. Fake

Iain bounced into the room. "God I had a funny case this morning," his eyes were bright with amusement. I looked at him enquiringly. "Mrs Walker showed me this horrible moist dermatitis on Patch's face and she said to me", he paused his shoulders shaking slightly with the memory...."she said to me, 'I think he's suffering from that necrophilia fasciitis'"

"Necrophilia....?..."I began. I paused grinning... his giggle was infectious. "What on earth did you say?" I managed eventually.

"Well I couldn't help myself I gave this huge guffaw. It was terrible. I had to turn it into a fake sneeze!"

[Kiwifruit]

Necrophilia fasciitis?

OMG Vet, I love these...good work Keep them coming!!

[Vetinari]

Thanks Wolfmotaki......

24. Mask

She was almost finished thank goodness. Her nose had been bothering her for a few minutes already, initially causing moist sniffles then developing into a definite itch within her left nostril. She hurried, the irritation growing, trying to sniff surreptitiously, pausing once to rub her masked nose on her shoulder, her hands gloved for cleanliness; unavailable. A final wet sniff and the tickle spread into her right nostril, was growing, was reaching an intensity that couldn’t be ignored. Straightening up, her eyelids flickered shut, her head fell back, her concealed mouth opened....

“HHhhhhEETTCHH!” Nose to shoulder she fled the room.

[count tiszula]

Yum more! Sneezing into a mask is delightfully conflicted; covered and not, messy and not, etc.

[doggo]

"Fake" is ingenious! Love these.

[Vetinari]

Thanks. I like a nice mask sneeze myself. And thanks too Shiny, glad you liked it. Now on with the contagion.

45. Sore

I had wondered yesterday. There was a slight scratchiness there and anyway I had been feeling tired. Too tired for just the standard post-on call tiredness. I swallowed again. There was no doubt about it, my throat was sore.

“Like a coffee?” the receptionist offered and I nodded my consent. The kitchen was next door and I heard the sloosh of the water being poured into the mugs. She handed me the mug in a hurry, thrust her own on the desk as she swivelled away and sneezed convulsively at the floor.

“Ugh!” She groaned. “I’ve got a rotten cold.”

[Kiwifruit]

...You mentioned the C word...?

*Reads avidly* Just as brilliant as always!!

[doggo]

Oh, more lovely contagion.... Yum!

[Vetinari]

35. Breath

Winter mornings were the best he thought, as he pulled the car to the side of the road to gaze at the broad sweep of the frosted white valley far below. Opening the door, climbing out and standing on the edge of the world, everything was still below as the sun inched higher, clearing the mountain beyond, momentarily blinding him. He felt his eyes begin to flood and a tickle mounted in the back of his nose. Giving himself up to the sensation he inhaled sharply and sneezed triumphantly, watching the white plume of his breath disperse into the sunlight.

[count tiszula]

More, more! How it reminds me of driving through France with a photic young friend, as Smashy would say....

[sneezedreamer]

I can't believe I haven't commented on your thread until now! Love your work Vet...especially "Fuck" and "Breath" for some reason, but they are all lovely!

[Vetinari]

Thanks sneezedreamer I'm glad you're enjoying them. Count, a toast to photicness which should be compulsory for everyone.

On with the torture.

36. Miserable

His hair was still damp against the pillow despite the rough towelling he had given it. He should have had a warm bath but the bathroom was so cold. Lying abed, hugging himself and shivering like a whippet he cursed the phone, cursed the cow, cursed the farmer and the rain and the virus which was laying him low. A groan escaped his lips as a trickle of fluid rushed into his nostrils causing them to itch uncontrollably. “HuuUUSHHOO!” the sound was tired, miserable and failed to reduce the irritation. “HrrrrrUUSHHOO!” he groaned aloud and swiped ineffectually at his nose.

[doggo]

Oh poor man. I would gladly - care for him.

[chui]

oh Vet, these are simply splendid....

[aquadyne14]

Vet - I can't believe I missed these! You are taking me back to my Vet tech days, which i loved and peppering them with wonderful sneezy situation, which i love even more

[Vetinari]

Aquadyne....you were a vet tech? How lovely. Glad you are enjoying.

Chui, only as splendid as those who are reading.

Oh yes, Shiny, or be taken care of.....

13. Care

I clutched my coffee to my chest as a shiver overtook me. The tissue in my other hand verged upon too damp for reuse. Iain leaped into the room exuding energy as ever and sat down beside me. The air movement sent another chill running down my spine and my nose was invaded once more with liquid irritation.

“HngtSHH!” despite my best efforts my will was overwhelmed and I shivered again. Iain’s eyes searched my flushed face, his cool hand touched my forehead, assessing.

“You should go home,” he commented. “Come on, I’ll take you.” He held out his hand.

58. Annoying

Iain lay stretched out in the sun, eyes closed, a half-smile curving his lips. Idly I tickled the tip of his nose with a stalk of meadow fescue, removing it as he lifted his hand to swipe away the irritation. He re-settled, still exuding contentment and I lowered the grass again to his nose. He shifted and swiped still without detection, reacting, as I had hoped, with the hint of a sniffle.

One time more; one time too many. His eyes opened he rolled over towards me. “Right!” he smirked sniffling wetly. “For that I’m going to sneeze on you.”

[aquadyne14]

annoying is so wonderfully evil in an absolutely innocent kind of way of course! lol Sneeze on me - please!

[count tiszula]

A fescue, a fescue; we all fall down. Hmmmm....

[chui]

omg... i think you killed me with annoying... *needs to find someone to do that with, now!!!!!*

[The Sneezster]

Darling, you write the hottest little fics. You know just how to press my buttons, too, my dear. You will hear no complaints from me if you continue.

[Vetinari]

Annoyingly evil. Oh yes. Tusen Takk to Aquadyne, County and Chui. Lovely sunny polleny days.......

Darling, you write the hottest little fics. You know just how to press my buttons, too, my dear. You will hear no complaints from me if you continue.

Hmmmm.....I think that may be because we share the buttons. And of course sharing buttons with you would be a great way to swap rhinoviruses!

And now for the next part. Damn I used to hate this. So unprofessional!

41. Run

I hated consulting with a cold. Hated it because I didn’t want to draw attention to myself. I could hear it though; the congestion-laden huskiness of my voice. I was acutely aware of every sniffle, sensitive to any trickle of tickly liquid into my nostrils, all too often the sign of an impending sneeze.

Here it was again. Fluid irritation. I sniffed quietly, the client oblivious.

“I’ll just get......” I pointed vaguely and ran out, along the corridor and outside. “ITSsCH! ...... sniff ........iTTSSSHh!” I felt in the pocket of my scrubs for a hankie and rubbed my overflowing nose.

[chui]

*puurrrrrrs* there is nothing hotter than a nice husky voice..... absolutely wonderful darling!

[The Sneezster]

Darling, you write the hottest little fics. You know just how to press my buttons, too, my dear. You will hear no complaints from me if you continue.

Hmmmm.....I think that may be because we share the buttons. And of course sharing buttons with you would be a great way to swap rhinoviruses!

I'd be delighted to share and swap with you, my dear. Also

[Vetinari]

*puurrrrrrs* there is nothing hotter than a nice husky voice.....

I have to agree!

I'd be delighted to share and swap with you, my dear. Also

Sharing is fun!

38. Violent

Thank goodness it was the weekend. Snifflingly, I dragged myself off the couch and through to the kitchen to put the kettle on. There was a tickle in my nose. I could feel it growing; knew with inevitability as the feeling built that I was going to sneeze yet again. My breath started hitching and I waited helplessly, staring at the ceiling, unable to move as the irritation spread, a final wet sniffle and I exploded with a violent sneeze which bent me double, spraying virus laden droplets into the air and a flood of wetness onto my upper lip.