Marceline Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Hi everyone, as you can see, I'm new here and like it a lot, so I thought I'd try to add a little something. My first story, as well as my first topic. Hope you like! I snuggled up in my warm, dry sheets, overly grateful that I was in my own bed instead of the freezing Washington rain. My whole body was wracked with trembles. This wasn't the good kind of cold, I thought. The good kind of cold was when I was being cradled in my stone vampire boyfriend Edward's arms, to my heart's full content. The bad kind of cold was- well, everything else... I lost my train of thought as I was pulled under into a fitful, dreamless sleep, still shivering. I woke up to the feel of cool, stone fingers brushing the hair from my face. I opened my mouth to welcome Edward back from his hunting trip, only to find that my nose was completely clogged. Crap. I cleared my throat and winced at the sandpaper feeling that came from it. Probably from breathing from my mouth, I thought. "Good morning, love", Edward murmured in his velvety voice as he leaned down to brush his cold lips to my clammy forehead."'Bordig", I managed to croak out. "What tibe is it?" I asked, wincing at my completely congested voice and a small tickle in the back of my nose.Edward's brow wrinkled in concern. "Almost seven", he said. "Bella, you sound terrible. Are you feeling all right?" he asked worriely. Leave it to Edward to notice every little detail. "Yeah, I'hhb...uhhh.... fihhhh hhHHHAESCHOO!" I sneezed very wetly, mucus pouring from my stuffy beyond belief nose. Oh, gosh. I grabbed two tissues from the nightstand and wiped my nose which I had been covering with one hand. I tried blowing to get rid of the annoying congestion, but my nose was so clogged that I couldn't force any air at all through my now pink nostrils. I looked up, ashamed, but then I realized Edward was gone. "Ed-" He was back before the door swung shut, holding a thermometer and a glass of water in one hand. "Bella, you're obviously not fine" he said, rubbing my back. "Open up." "Doe, I'b reallhy ohhh... uuuuhhhhhkayHep-nix't" I stifled into my hand. My nose started to run and I grabbed a couple tissues and placed them under it since I couldn't even sniffle. Without a word, Edward placed the thermometer under my tounge. I just sat there and pouted, swiping at my streaming nose with the back of my hands. When it beeped, Edward took it out. Surprising myself, I was a normal tempurarure. Ha! Now Edward couldn't keep me from school! "You don't have a fever, but no doubt you're sick, Bella. How about you stay here with me and rest for today." Edward made it sound very inviting, but I was stubborn. "Doe way. I'b goig to school ad there's dothig you cad do to stop be" I said. "Okay fine Bella, but if you start feeling even a tiny bit worse you need to tell me, okay love?" He stared deep into my puffy eyes, making me feel the littlest bit guilty for some reason. "If you insist on going to school, you need to get ready. We're going to be late as it is."Hope you liked it, sorry about the length, it's pretty hard to write on this itouch. The next part should be longer. Constructive criticism appriciated!! Link to comment
prisma Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 I am confused as crap as to why no one has commented on this. there seems to be enough people out there begging for twilight fics. Link to comment
Kiwifruit Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 This is good I kind of got sick of reading Twilight fanfics after the first few hundred were posted and I stopped looking at them for a time, but I'm glad I decided to give this one a go Keep up the good work!! Link to comment
Weirdo Girl Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 that's awesome!love it! Link to comment
cheech Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 ohhh i like.im also confused why not much people have commented this- its really good Link to comment
Just Older Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 It's only been one day, people - not even! Relax.Awesome24, it's a good start. I love it that Bella is so stubborn and she's adamant about going to school. Link to comment
ID2006 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 yay... hope to read more soon Link to comment
cara Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 this is really good... please continue! Link to comment
Marceline Posted August 28, 2009 Author Share Posted August 28, 2009 Thanks for all the positive feedback!! Some more will probably be up tomorrow, as I have a soccer game tonight. Wish me luck LOL Link to comment
cheech Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 It's only been one day, people - not even! Relax.what I'm saying is, i think the standards of this story are so high its surprising she dosnt have much more. Link to comment
Marceline Posted August 29, 2009 Author Share Posted August 29, 2009 I stumbled into Edward's glossy silver Volvo, sighing and leaning my head back onto the buttery leather of the passenger seat, hastily pinching my nose as the tickle returned. I tried to force some air into my nostrils and failed; it just made a wet, gurgly sound. Big mistake. It made the tickle grow even bigger, but I gritted my teeth and managed to keep it under control. Edward noticed too. He plucked a tissue out of the box he had brought for me, oblivious to my protests. "Bella, are you really sure you want to go to school? If you really want to get the work done, I'll have Alice or Emmett bring it for you..." "DOE, Edward," I half yelled, exasperated, "I ahhhb huh....hgohhig...thhhoo...NIGxt-CHA!! I stifled unsuccessfully into the tissue and felt the congestion thicken. I really needed to blow my nose, but I wasn't about to, not with Edward right there. But of course Edward noticed too. Grr, sometimes I thought he lied when he said he couldn't read my mind. "Blow your nose, Bella", he said gently. I opened my mouth to protest but decided against it, I really did need to blow my nose. I cupped the tissue around my nose and closed my right nostril, I blew as hard as I could but only a liquid gurgly noise came out, "grsssssssssgg" not clearing my nose the slightest bit, but at least getting all the mucus out. I switched to the other side. It was more congested, and it went, "sshhg" Blowing my nose had somehow set off the persistant tickle, and I sneezed wetly, "AahhEPCHOO!" My head vibrated as we got out of the car into the wet Forks parking lot. I stuffed a couple tissues into the back pocket of my jeans and me and Edward headed off to Trig, holding hands. We sat down in our usual seats in the back, me leaning my pounding head against his ice shoulder, which felt really good. We were right in the middle of a pop quiz when I felt the farmiliar sensation in the back of my nose and turned away from Edward who had been watching me concerndly (sp, sorry), pulling a tissue out of my back pocket just in time to catch a wet one: "AAHHHHEhhp-'CHOO!" That one had caught me off guard but I managed to stifle two more; "HHnix't! EHhpni't!!" I bent my head back down, cheeks flaming. Everyone had turned their heads to look at me. "Bless, honey" Edward mouthed, his free hand rubbing my back. He raised his eyebrows at me and nodded toward the door, no doubt asking if I was ready to go home. I just shook my head with a liquid sniffle, and continued working on the quiz. Link to comment
White Rose Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 OMG!!!! I have been looking for a story like this for so long!!thanks so much!!!welcome, and i hope to see this continued!! Link to comment
Pseudosneeze Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 Well, it's better than reading the novels. Link to comment
InHiding Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 This is a great story. I'm actually really impressed that you wrote out that first part on your iPhone! Thanks so much for sharing! Link to comment
Marceline Posted August 31, 2009 Author Share Posted August 31, 2009 Yes I will probably have some up tomorrow, it does take a long time to write from an iPhone. I do have a computer at home but a lot of people use it and I would be so embarassed if someonefound out. So yes tomorrow most likely. Link to comment
Marceline Posted September 3, 2009 Author Share Posted September 3, 2009 Sorry I haven't posted more, as school just started and we have a huge science project on who knows what,so I'll post when I have an hour to write. Link to comment
Bluebird Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 Well, it's better than reading the novels.Yes, yes it is. 10 times better. Link to comment
Marceline Posted September 7, 2009 Author Share Posted September 7, 2009 Lunch finally rolled around. Edward and I sat at our usual table with Angela, Ben, and Alice. I hadn't been feeling much better. Although the pounding in my head had gotten better, I was a lot more... sneezy. As to prove my point, I suddenly rocked forth with a powerful "EpASSSHHOo!!" ... Ow. "Bathroob" I said as I got up from the table to tend to my idiot nose. Edward quirked an eyebrow but said nothing, being the gentleman he is. He obviously knew the real reason I was walking off to the girls' room. When I turned the handle and peeked inside the tiny-stalled, too bright bathroom, the flourecent ( sorry I've never seen that word spelled before) lights set off my ticklish nose as I locked myself into a small stall with I love Jack written on the wall. "EPSHEW!! ehhhhhHEp-CHAA!! HAMMPhhHH!!" I had managed to catch the last one in some flimsy toilet paper, but the first two had been totally uncovered and had landed on my jacket sleeve. But I wasn't done yet. "ehhhACHOO!!! EPCHEWWW!!! ESSHHHH!! Heh... Heh..." Shoot, my sneeze was stuck!! I hated when this happened. I took some more of the school's cheap toilet paper and folded it around my stuffy nose. I blew hard. "sgsgsgsgsS'CHEW!" Finally! That feeling of relief only lasted a moment thought, beforemy head started to buzz and thick congestion poured through my nose again. I sighed wearily and sat on the toilet seat, pulling my knees up around my arms. Now I was seriously debating with myself if I should go home or not......So, whaddaya think? Should Bella go home with Edward or stay at school? Only you can decide! Link to comment
ID2006 Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 hmmmm.... to go or stay. I vote Edward forces her to go home after she almost faints.... but whatever you choose is fine... as long as you continue this. Link to comment
Guest hayleyp Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 ooh...i'm split. on the one hand i like that he takes her home and takes care of her. that would be super sweet! but on the other hand, she could sneeze and sneeze at school and have alice, jasper and emmett bless her. and edward of course. then she'd be embarassed, but it would be sweet too. doesn't really matter which way you go...this story is WIN! seriously love it! Link to comment
smiles15 Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 That's hard...either way would be good i guess. I guess Edward should take her home, maybe during their last class. Link to comment
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