London Bridge

[LetMeBe]

new story

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He looked tired. Not the, 'I need a nap or a red bull' type but the 'I might fall over from trying to hold the weight of the world' type of tired.

Dark circles encompassing his brown eyes. Unshaven face. Slightly hunched posture, another indication of his fatigue. Kleenex clenched in left hand, a pen clenched in the other. Although it was not blatantly visible, Jada could see a light rim of pink forming around the edges of Troy's nostrils. She watched as he used his fit to stifle a lingering yawn. The kids must be wearing him, Jada thought to herself, overwhelmed by a guilt she didn't quite understand herself. She had made an effort to contact Troy a few times. She wanted to see the kids and see how he was doing, but he never responded. When their paths crossed at work it was as if nothing ever happened. Although she tried not to, Jada took it personally.

"That brings us up to our annual "Healthy Heart Gala". Jada, how is this coming along?" Her boss asked.

"Well Jim, the Gala is tomorrow night. We thought we'd need extra hands but turns out we were very proactive last week, which is making the final production a lot easier." Jada said quickly after being jolted from her reverie.

"And Troy, you are still the MC for the raffle drawing, correct?" Jim asked.

Forcing a half hearted smile, Troy sat up in his chair and nodded his head in agreement. "Yeah."

"Great, touchbase with Jada after this meeting. A few things were changed and she needs to get you up to speed."

"Sure thing." Troy cleared his throat and sunk a little deeper into his chair after Jim turned his attention to someone else.

Jada had been avoiding meeting with Troy about the gala, knowing that his life had been falling to pieces within the last year. Time was assumed to heal, but for Troy it only exacerbated the pain. While Jada had found a way to forgive her best friend since 4th grade for what she did to her, it was much harder to find a way to forgive her for how she treated Troy and her own babies.

Trepidation of the memories caused her Jada to throw her self into anything. Anything that would keep her from thinking. She lost 20 pounds, increased the profitability of her department by 20% and ended a dead end relationship that was taking her nowhere fast. The changes felt good. They were necessary. The more changes there were the less noticeable they all became. Jada didn't want to notice, but Troy didn't get that option.

After the meeting ended, both Troy and Jada remained in the conference room alone. Their peers were ignorant to the gravity of their relationship. Everyone knew that Jada put in a good word to help Troy get the job at the growing health information based start up, but they didn't know that he had been married to her best friend for 2 years. And they didn't know that she was gone.

Uncomfortable silence was to be expected between them. Jada looked down at her hands rubbing her fingers together until they started to burn. On the other side of the table, Troy left his seat to get a glass of water. His 6'2 brawny build was not as commanding today as it was on every other day. Troy was the kind of guy that people were intrigued by. He was sociable but selective in the company he kept. He was smart, but he'd never broadcast exactly how much he knew. He was likeable and yet people didn't really know him, which was part of his appeal. People didn't know him. Not like Jada did.

"Shall we begin?" Troy asked re-taking his seat. Jada observed him popping two Tylenal Cold and Sinus before focusing her attention at the task at hand. Even then, she wondered if he remembered. She wondered if she should bring it up at all? A hard book to read, Troy's responses were never predictable. Besides, work was not the place to bring up personal baggage.

"Yes, we should. So Jim changed a few things, as you can suspect." I began. Troy nodded and dabbed at his nose with his tattered tissue. "To make a long story short, we are including a few testimonials when we introduce the raffle. We're hoping people will hear the stories, be moved, and donate more. You don't have to-"

Jada trailed off once Troy raised his hand indicating he needed a second. Jada shifted in her seat at the site of his pre-sneeze torture. Troy's olive toned skin was flushed, his eyes shut, his full lips parted as he hitched, waiting in agitated anticipation for relief. Rubbing his nose and sniffing was to no avail. Giving up, Troy rubbed his hands over his face while leaning back in his chair, still wearing the pre-sneeze expression of ticklish torture.

The pulsing in between her legs made Jada want to run out of the room and re-group. She had always enjoyed the way Troy sneezed. Although his wife thought it more of a nuisance, given her germaphobia, along with other phobias she acquired over the years. Again, Jada shifted in her seat once more before speaking.

"Can I continue?" She asked grinning clandestinely.

"Excuse me, I've been struggling with this all day." He said wearily, his baritone voice only slightly masking the impending congestion.

"Struggling with what?" Jada asked curiously.

"The struggle between sneezing and not sneezing. It's getting to be ridiculous." He said rubbing the bridge of his nose.

Body temperature rising, Jada remembered to breathe. "Caught a cold from the kids?"

"Catching. Started feeling the symptoms this morning. Hopefully, my voice will be okay in time for this gala."

"Are you bringing a date?" The moment the words left Jada's mouth she wished she could take them back. Was she kidding? A date? The perplexed look on Troy's face was indication enough that she was being...stupid. "Bad question. Moving on."

"Huh-Ehhtshoo! Ehhtshu. sniffle. Heh-Huh-Ih-HIH MPGNTEW!" Troy wiped at his nose in desperation, trying to relinquish any tickle that may still be there. Sure enough, a few moments later he sneezed a fifth time. Another stifle right into his left hand.

"Sounds like the cold has arrived," Jada teased in an effort to be normal. Troy sniffled and nodded.

"Ariana had it first. Seems like this is going to be a sneezy one."

A sharp intake of breath and biting down on her tongue was all that kept Jada from rushing towards him. While, Troy could be stoic in his own right, he wasn't a man with anything to prove. There was never any effort on his part to show how macho he was, except in terms of coping with Reina's absence.

"You should get some rest. Take off early or something."

"I've got a mountain of work to do. Even if I did go home early, the kids would drive me crazy and I'd never get any sleep." He joked through another yawn. "Ariana's always crying about one thing or another and Robby is..." Lost in thought, Troy stared out into the distance as he considered the weight of his problems.

"Robby does what Troy?" Jada coaxed gently.

Troy looked Jada into the eyes, revealing a pain only she could identify. "He calls out her name in the middle of the night." Spitting out the words, his frustration surfaced in place of hurt. "It's been a year Jada."

"Well...I mean... Well, are you coping well?"

The silence settled in as Troy shook his head 'no'. Another unnecessary question, but Jada didn't want to be rude and assume.

"Seems like you are doing better with her gone," Troy admitted surveying her briefly with a barely audible hint of bitterness. Given the intensity of Troy's gaze, brief;y was the only way for him to survey anything while being polite. "You finally got rid of that jerk right?"

"How did you know?" Jada smiled, her tight light brown curls cradling her face.

"His pictures are gone from your desk... And facebook."

They both couldn't help but laugh. Unfortunately, the laughter was more stimulation than Troy's nasal passages could take. Before Jada could regroup, Troy already turned away and sneezed abruptly into his fist twice. "Eptso! Atshoo!"

"Bless you! We should end this meeting so you can finish working and get home." Jada reasoned, noticing the lingering sneezy look on his face. Troy was an absolutely gorgeous man on a regular day. Each of his dark, Italian features were distinct albeit a little rustic.

"Email me the testimonials with some instructions and I'll be sure to be ready for the gala." He replied through sniffles.

"No problem, but if you need a replacement or-"

"Jada please," he said massaging his temples. "Work is the only thing in my life that I have under control. Not everyone is like you."

"I don't know what that means."

"It means that your best friend walked out on you, but my wife, the mother of my children, the love of my life walked out on me a year ago and since then my life has been like London fuckin bridge. Shit just keeps falling. But you get to move on for the better, and I'm pissed about it!"

"Lower your voice Troy," Jada cautioned quietly, both of them to their feet. She had forgotten, but this had become a reminder of why her and Troy continued to keep their distance from one another. At the end of the day, they both loss someone but the consequences weren't the same.

She wanted to walk out of the room with some dignity. As her therapist often told her, now would be a good time to "pause". Insead, Jada pulled up her black blouse, revealing her mid drift and the fading dark lines that screamed of a pain to intrinsic to be heard.

Troy's eyes widened followed closely by concern that was too little too late. "We both have pain Troy. It's not about which one of us is hurting the most. It's about which one of us is smart enough to ask for help when she needs it and the other one is...well, I don't know what your problem is. But in case you didn't know, It's not working." Jada's inner storm remained internal. Walking quickly out of the room, she returned to her desk only to gather her things and leave again. The office would not be her refuge, yet apart of her wondered if it would provide better refuge than a blade...

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Let me know how you feel about this story. The content can get a little heavy but I kind of like heavy... lol.

[obsessed]

Oh, I like this! It's interesting; loving the dynamics. I'd love to see where it goes!

[sneezelove]

i can't wait to see where it goes...it is just heavy enough!

[ichixshiro14]

Ooh, very interesting so far! I really like how real the plot is, and your sneeze spelling is great I can't wait to see more, thanks for sharing!

[LetMeBe]

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE POSITIVE FEEDBACK!!!!!!!!!!

Part 2

The shower could be a dangerous place. A person could lose their balance, slip and hit their head against the bath tub. A person could take a relaxing bath fall sleep and drown. A person could become overheated from the steam and pass out. The shower could be a dangerous place for anyone. For Jada, the shower was always about choosing self love over self-mutilation. Every time she picked up her razor to shave her legs or underarms she had to chant affirmations. If by chance, she nicked herself with the blade. In the bath of her mind, she wondered if it hadn't been intentional; her subconscious surfacing, encouraging her to apply a little more pressure. To make the cut. To watch it bleed, while letting the stinging sensation overwhelm her. Better the sting than Reina.

No matter how devastated she was by Reina's departure, a year of therapy had helped. It wasn't a cure, but it helped. Jada went every day for the first six months and then switched to twice a week. Progress. Dr. McCoy had said that she was healthier everyday. Jada couldn't be sure of the validity of that statement, but she did know that she didn't want to let Reina have power over her anymore. Not after the things she said. They were like sisters, and yet Reina had slain their bond of 23 years in thirty seconds.

Jada could still see Reina standing in her doorway, outraged and defiant. Angry with the world for reasons only obvious to her. Fire blazed through her light blue eyes, while her long brown hair was pulled into a disheveled ponytail. Although Reina was only 5'3, her personality had always been big and brash and sometimes off putting. Consequently, she didn't have many friends, especially not girls, except Jada who had always been there.

"You're fuckin incredible!" Reina had shouted at her. "You pretend to be my friend but you're NEVER on my side anymore Jada!"

"Because you are wrong! Think about Ariana and Robby! What are they going to do without you? And Troy, he doesn't deserve this Reina. No one in your life has done anything to deserve this!" Jada had countered desperately trying to reach her fading friend.

"You talk about how great my life is, go fuckin live it then! You go fuck Troy and raise Ariana and Robby! You don't know my reasons!" Reina continued to shout moving closer to Jada as if preparing for a physical altercation.

"And this guy, he knows your reasons?" Jada lowered her voice trying to ameliorate the situation. "He's offering you solutions?"

Reina stopped and tilted her head as if to re-examine her best friend. Jada remembered it as the calm before the storm. "I hate being a mother. I hate being Troy's wife. I hate the monotony and predictability and... I feel like I never had any choices in how our lives were going to go Jada. I wanted fun and excitement and he wanted a family and I gave him what I could but it's killing me. Every second i spend there I'm dying."

Jada felt tears well up in her eyes. She knew Reina had been unhappy, but not to this degree.

"I really do think the kids will be better off with him you know. I think I should just do my own thing." Reina resolved.

"This guy, Reina... Does he... Are you on anything? Is he forcing you to do this? I mean, how much do you know about this person?" Jada had to ask. She couldn't pretend not to notice how gaunt her face was becoming and how thin and lifeless she appeared. Her erratic behavior her constant fidgeting, Jada would never consider Reina to be on drugs but she had to ask...she shouldn't have asked.

The calm was broken and Reina picked up a vase off the table an flung it at Jada's head. Jada dodged the vase but did not dodge the remote control which hit her in the forehead. Jada had yelped in pain, but readied herself for when Reina came at her. Stronger and bigger of the two, Jada managed to pin Reina to floor.

"You're a fuckin cunt, you know that Jada? You were always a pathetic person. Pathetic and you could never make healthy decisions for yourself. Always so fuckin confused about everything! You don't know whether you wanna be black or white? You always pick the wrong guys and you're too stupid to see that you're actually smart. And I've always pitied you because you need other people's affirmations to feel like anything. And so what you come form an abusive household, get over your fuckin self and live your life instead of whimpering about it. I'm literally sick of you! I'm SICK of being your friend."

Listlessly, Jada released her hold on Reina and fell into her couch where she brought her knees to her chest. Never had anyone spoke to her that way before. Never had Reina been so cruel. Reina stood up and made her way to the door. Jada didn't try to stop her.

"But you know what's great Jada? I'm NOTHING like you. I can make choices for myself. And I'm making one right now."

Again, Jada didn't answer. Wanting to break her, Reina opened the door and looked over at Jada one last time.

"In case you were still wondering about the black and white thing. You're both Jada. And you know what's funny? I'm not a rocket scientist, but even I could figure out something so simple. Have a good one."

She was gone. Reina had walked out. She had walked out on her entire life in search of a new one. Anger. Embarrassment. Envy. Jada felt herself losing her grip. Instead of crying or eating, Jada went into the bathroom, found her razor...And cut.

A shrill sound of the phone ringing jolted Jada from her thoughts. Still in her bath towel having yet to shower, she went to answer her found and hesitated only because it was Troy calling. It's about work, she told herself.

"Hello?"

"Hi Jada it's me." Troy said clearing his throat. He didn't sound any better than he had earlier that day. In fact, his voice was slightly raspy and now laced with congestion.

"Yes?" Jada asked not particularly thrilled to hear from him.

"I want to apologize for earlier today. It was asinine of me to assume that I'm the only one hurting. I'm sorry, Jada, I really am." Jada could hear Ariana and Robby playing in the background. She missed them.

"I want to see the kids." Jada declared.

"I know. They're...they're damaged. And I'm not doing a very good job. The problem is everybody knows it. My mother, my friends, everyone is dictating into me, telling me what to do as if i can't raise my own kids."

Jada listened intently, remembering how overbearing his mother could be.

"And Reina's mother, she calls sometimes and sends money when she can but-"

"She's sick. I talked to her last week." Jada piped up feeling her heartbreak knowing that Reina wasn't there for her sweet mother. The mother that had cared for Reina when her own parents neglected her.

"I didn't know that. You keep in touch with her?" Troy asked quickly before inhaling sharply. "Huh-ATSCHOO!" His sneeze was much more violent and desperate now. "I'm sorry, I was trying to hold that in." Jada heard Ariana say "bless you daddy," in the background. A grin spread across Jada's face.

"I want to see the kids Troy." Jada repeated firmly.

Troy hesitated, his sniffles filling the silence on the line. "I was going to take the kids out for pizza in about an hour. You are more than welcome to join us if you'd like to Jada."

"Auntie Jada's on the phone?" Ariana shrieked. "Let me talk to her! Maybe she knows where my mommy is!"

Tears sprang into Jada's eyes. Perhaps Troy had done her a favor by keeping the kids from her. Perhaps this was why he couldn't move on. The aftermath of Reina's recklessness was written all over Ariana and Robby's innocent faces. Jada felt nervous. She didn't have anymore answers than Troy did.

"I'd love to come." Jada replied. "Shall I meet you there?"

"Come over to our place. We'll all ride-... Huh-EPTSCHOO! We'll all ride together. Then again, this cold-"

"I'll be there in 45 minutes," Jada interjected.

The relief in Troy's voice went unmasked. "Good. See you soon, Jada."

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Part 3 will be coming up shortly! Hope you all like the update!

[sneezelove]

this is so good! i can't wait for the next part

[tma]

Loving this!! Brilliant backstory and really interesting characters. I'm a sucker for a good plot- and you are really delivering. Will keep eyes peeled for more. Thanks so much for sharing!

[ichixshiro14]

That's sooo sad!! Poor little kids This story is simply awesome dear, I love that it has plot! Thanks for continuing, can't wait for more!

[sillystarsmoons]

This is awesome I'm loving the plot. Hope you write more soon.

[LetMeBe]

I AM SO GLAD YOU ALL ARE ENJOYING THE PLOT THUS FAR! YOUR COMMENTS ARE DEFINITELY MOTIVATING! THANKS AGAIN!!!!

Part 3

Every step of Ariana's 4 year old life and Robby's 3 year old life Jada had been present for, except for the past year. Jada was in the room when they were born. She was holding the camcorder when Ariana and Robby took their first steps. First birthdays, first words, first cold, Jada had seen it all. She had been pronounced their godmother although neither of the kids had been baptized. Reina had always been ambiguous about religion in spite of her Catholic upbringing. She remembered all of the fear and reservation Reina harbored when she was first pregnant with Ariana.

"I'm going to be the worst fucking mother in the entire fucking world!" Reina cried in the middle of Barnes & Noble in the parenting section. Suppressing her laughter, Jada consoled her friend.

"So what! Who's gonna know?" Jada joked. "Honestly, Rey these books look dull and boring and I don't think you want to be raising your kids according to some washed up psychologist or something. What's the fun in that?"

"This is serious Jada! Troy's mom is Mrs. Perfect and she's going to tell me everything I'm doing wrong, all of the time! And she'll probably be right."

"Yeah but Troy's mom is a certifiably mad, and even he knows it."

Reina cracked a smile and turned back to the loaded buck shelf. "So what should I get?"

"Book of baby names maybe? Other than that, I'd just subscribe to Parenting Magazine or something."

Both girls were overcome with giggles at their sudden nonchalance. Never to be outdone, Reina picked up the baby name book. Impetuously, she opened it and scanned the first few pages.

"If it's a girl, I'm naming her Ariana." Reina then through the book back onto the shelf and looped her arm through Jada's.

"Well, glad that was decided!"

The memories of better days were far more bitter than they were sweet when she was sitting in her car in the driveway of what used to be her second home. Jada could reflect all she wanted, clarity didn't lie in the past. Troy dealt with this every day. She could do it for a few hours.

The moment Jada's black and white Puma tennis shoes hit the asphalt, the front door flung open and Ariana came rushing out. The brown hair blue eyed little girl was a spitting image of her mother. There wasn't enough preparation in the world for the moment when Ariana jumped into her arms and held her close. Every fiber of her being was used to fight back tears determined to fall. Over Ariana's tiny shoulder, Jada could see Robby standing in the door way; his head tilted to one side as he tried to recall who exactly she was. He had grown so much since she'd last saw him. The idea that she might be merely a distant memory pained her.

"Hi Robby!" Jada called out.

Robby ran back in the house. Moments later, Troy emerged with Robby in one arm. "Time to go!" He announced.

Words seemed to elude Ariana until after Jada fastened her seatbelt and gently brushed strands of the little girls wispy strands from her eyes. "I missed you Auntie Jada." She sang in her tiny voice.

Afraid her own voice would betray her, Jada placed a kiss on Ariana's forehead and winked at Robby who was still looking over at her curiously.

They drove in silence for a while. The silence was broken by the cacophonic sound of Troy sneezing. "HUHATSCHOO!"

"Too loud!" Robby squealed giggling. Jada could see from her mirror that the little boy covered his ears with both his hands.

"Bless you Daddy," Ariana chimed in dutifully.

"Huh MMPXT! Hih NXGT! Huh EHATSCHO!" Troy rubbed at his nose vigorously.

"Sorry Robby, Daddy tried to be quieter but...huh...I... HUH ATSCHO!"

"Bless you," Jada whispered quietly, noting the continued look of fatigue on his face. "Are you sure you're up for pizza?"

"Yes I WANT PIZZA!" Ariana protested at the thought of her pizza dreams being crushed.

"ME TOO!" Robby cried out in panic. He too looked like Reina with the exception of his father's swarthy skin.

"Oh, we're not only doing pizza! We're doing Chuck-E-Cheese!" Troy managed to sound excited while forcing a smile.

Her admiration for Troy grew as she saw him trying to fake it despite his cold. Jada supposed that faking it through a cold is not as bad as faking it through abandonment. No...it wasn't the same at all.

Jada was grateful that Troy had chosen Chuck-E-Cheese. The kids seemed to preoccupied with pizza and games to ask her questions about their mother, especially when they had the table right next to the jungle gym. As soon as the pizza was ordered, Ariana and Robby went off to play.

"Ariana keep an eye out for your brother!" Troy called out. Jada looked around and noticed there were only three other families there and a few teenagers playing games. It was a random Thursday night. The kids would be fine, and yet Troy's display of protection and concern over his kids was nothing short of sexy. Jada wheeled in her thoughts and sipped on her sprite, watching quietly as Troy stifled another sneeze into his napkin.

"We could've done this another night Troy." Jada said.

Troy's phone rang, distracting him before he could respond. Looking at the caller ID he groaned. "Yeah Mom?" Troy began rubbing the bridge of his nose before sneezing quietly into his napkin. It was clear his nose was stuffed up, his face was flushed and he was still wearing his jacket although it was quite warm.

"Mom, I understand that." Troy rested his head on the table. Jada could hear his mother talking a mile a minute in her shrill voice on the other end of the line. "Why would you go up to the school? I have a meeting with them tomorrow morning. I told you that!"

Feeling awkward witnessing Troy's dispute with his mother Jada looked off at a young family a few tables away. She wondered if they were happy? There was a little boy about Robby's age and a new baby, which the mother held in one arm as she and her husband ate. I wonder if she hates her life too, Jada pondered.

"That woman drives me crazy." Troy said hanging up the phone and blowing his nose.

"What's the matter?"

Troy rubbed his eyes. Jada was happy he was no longer trying to mask his fatigue. "What's not the matter is a better question."

"okay. What's not the matter?"

Troy's dark eyes rested on Jada's face, drinking in her tan freckles and her golden brown hair that was no longer pulled back. In that moment, Troy took the time to appreciate her athletic build and the warmth the radiated off of her as she sat there in uncertainty. Barely comfortable in her own skin, was how Reina had always described her. But Reina was no longer a credible source, and Troy found no reason for Jada to be uncomfortable.

"How were you two ever friends?" Troy asked pensively.

Habitually, Jada shifted and stared out into the distance before staring back at Troy. "Our families lived in the same block when we were kids. Her house was safe and my house wasn't."

"You were looking for asylum?" Troy teased.

"I was looking to not be beaten." Jada fired back aggressively.

"That was insensitive. I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted."

Just then the pizza arrived. Ariana and Robby ate cooperatively and to Jada's surprise, without little fuss.

"Are you in school yet Ariana?" Jada asked trying to make conversation. The silence between them was a little deafening for Jada, but Troy didn't seem alarmed by it at all.

Ariana didn't respond. She was watching the little girl who was crying because she hurt herself falling out of the slide. I watched Ariana watch as the little girl's mother ran over to pick her up and kiss her knees.

Jada watched as Ariana threw down her pizza, pursed her lips, and folded her arms in outrage. "I hate this place." she declared loudly.

"Really? I like this place." Robbie concluded.

"No you don't!" Ariana told him angry that he didn't understand.

"Ariana stop shouting. What is the problem?" Troy asked in a low raspy voice.

Tears welled up in Ariana's blue eyes. "This place is for kids with Mommies! If i fall down the slide and hurt myself I don't have a mommy to help me!"

In an effort to assert how distraught she was, Ariana knocked over her sprite which spilled into Robbie's pizza, causing him to pick up his cup and spill it on her pizza. By this time Ariana was sobbing hysterically and Robbie was whimpering about his wet pizza.

Jada waited for Troy to say something to calm Ariana down. Instead he focused on cleaning up the spilled pizza and getting Robbie knew pizza so he would stop whimpering. Although his original problem was food, now he too was visibly upset. The hysteria was contagious, that was factual.

"Let's go," Troy said taking a last bite of pizza before picking up Robbie. "Ariana let's go. We're done."

"NO!" she screamed. " I don't wanna go home! There's no mommy at home either!" Ariana was crying uncontrollably. Jada felt like she was watching a scene from someone else's life a that moment. Ashamed of her own uselessness, Jada extended her hand to Ariana.

"Come on Ariana, we'll go home and watch a movie or something." Jada reasoned, but Ariana was not a dumb 4 year old. She had analyzed her situation and was well aware of what she didn't have and who else did have it.

"The people have mommies in the movies too. Just I don't!" She wailed kicking the chair.

"Enough Ariana!" Troy hissed grabbing her arm and damn near dragging her out of Chuck-E-Cheese. Everyone in their seemed to be staring at them with disdain or pity. Jada ignored them and raced ahead of Troy to open doors.

This time we exchanged roles. I put RObbie in his car seat, while Troy tried to restrain Ariana long enough to get her buckled in. She was still screaming and crying, whereas Robbie had grown tired and was now thinking about his pizza.

"Daddy I'm hungry!" He whined.

Troy's nostrils were flaring as he pinched at his nose with one hand and turned on the car with the other. Always, multitasking Jada noted.

"ETSCHOO! HUH-Etschoo! Hup-ITSCHO!" Troy's body shook violently with each sneeze. "Do...huh...you have a ...hUh-ETSCHOO...a kleenex?"

Jada checked her pockets and purse quickly. Nothing. She was more than useless. Unable to accept her self defined insignificance Jada got out of the car and raced into Chuck-E-Cheese. She saw their pizza had yet to be thrown out.

"Can you box that pizza over there for me please? We just walked out and forgot it on accident." Jada reasoned.

The cashier had it boxed for her in three minutes. Jada grabbed a wad of napkins and raced back out to the car. Robbie was now howling because of hunger and Ariana was punching the back of Troy's car seat in fury.

Jada hopped into the car and turned around to face Ariana and Robbie. "Robbie, if you sit quietly in the car you can eat more pizza when you get home okay?"

Robbie stopped whimpering long enough to conclude that the box in her hand was indeed pizza. Two stifled sneezes from Troy reminded Jada of the napkins in her hand which she handed over to him. That left Ariana, who was still angrily kicking the seat. She needed a 'pause', Jada thought. When her emotions had raced out of control in the past, Dr. McCoy always told her to take a pause. Leave the situation, disengage with the object of your frustration, pretend it didn't exist long enough to get through the moment.

"We 'pause' not to avoid life Jada. We pause to diminish the anger long enough to constructively deal with our problems." Dr. McCoy always told her.

That was good advice for a 27 year old, but how could she apply that to tiny Ariana who was growing tired from her temper tantrum. Troy put his hand on Jada's arm.

"Buckle up. She'll be fine." Troy stated.

Sitting back in her seat, Jada wondered if Reina knew what her family had come too. She wondered if she knew that her babies would hurt like this or that her husband could barely manage to suffer through a cold because of the added stress her abandonment caused. Jada hoped she didn't know. Because if Reina knew the effects, and she chose to leave anyway... No, Reina was on drugs. No one in their right mind would do this. No one.

"I'm sorry tonight turned out like this." Troy said as they pulled up into the driveway. "I tried to prep the kids before we came out. No questions about, you know who. No temper tantrums but... Any little thing can set them off you know?"

Jada nodded sympathetically. She'd only had a glimpse of what his life was like everyday, but already she felt overwhelmed.

"Is it just you and the kids tonight?" Jada asked curiously.

Troy muffled a sneeze into a napkin, and sniffed gently before responding. "Yeah. Mom is terrorizing my brother tonight. His wife just had twins so her hands will be tied at least for another week."

"Bless you Troy. I swear you are getting worse."

Troy's irritability resurfaced. "I realize that Jada, but what do you want me to do?"

"I'm not accusing you of anything Troy. Relax. I'm coming in." Jada resolved.

Once inside, Jada was careful not to comment on anything. The house looked exactly the same as how Reina had left it. Not even the couch was out of place. The walls were a light green with dark brown suede furniture, which had never been kid friendly but at the time Reina didn't care. Toys were strewn across the floor. Pictures of Reina, Troy and the kids were on the wall. A reminder of a happier life that no longer existed. Jada brought the pizza into the kitchen which was unkempt. Dishes were in the sing, a cereal box was spilled on the counter, and the eggs had been left out.

Jada remembered all of Reina's complaints about how organized and orderly Troy liked everything to be. Well...that was no longer the case. Jada put pizza on a plate for Robbie, while Troy took Ariana upstairs.

Jada sat down at the table with Robbie and watched him chump on his pizza like it was the best thing ever.

"Do you know my name Robbie?" Jada asked curiously.

"Yup! You're Auntie Jada, Ariana said so. " He replied taking another big bite of pizza.

"What else does Ariana say?"

"That you and Daddy know where my mommy is but no one will tell us." There was no change of inflection or look of sorrow. It was merely a fact to Robbie.

"Well, do you believe her?" Robbie tilted his head again and stared up into Jada's face. It was like looking at Reina but only with an olive tint. Both her kids were spitting images of her, and she walked out. Amazing.

"No. My daddy don't know. I think he wants mama to come back too."

"I think you are right." Jada whispered.

She asked Robbie about his friends, his favorite movies and favorite colors. He was quite enjoyable and at ease. It wasn't long before Troy came down to scoop Robbie up and put him to bed as well. Jada took the liberty to tidy up the kitchen while she waited for Troy to come down. It was eery being in Reina's kitchen. It had been a year and yet Jada remembered where everything was. Nothing had changed. She even found an old box of black tea that Reina used to drink all of the time. Troy was a coffee drinker so she knew it wasn't his.

"This has to be his mother's," Jada said out loud.

"I wish it was," Troy said watching her from the doorway.

"Sorry if this is invading your privacy. I just wanted to help." Jada added quickly.

Troy sauntered over and lifted the box of tea out of her hand and threw it in the garbage. "You could probably use some tea," Jada reasoned.

Troy shuttered and sneezed twice. He really did look like he was going to drop at any moment, but then again he had been looking that way since this morning. How he found the energy to walk was beyond Jada.

"Bless you. Why don't you lay down or something Troy? The kinds are in bed now. I'll just gather up their toys in the living room and I'll go."

Troy reached out to touch one of Jada's curls that rested on her shoulder. After a few seconds, he pulled it away and smiled at her still through a weary countenance.

"I don't have a date for the gala." He confessed. Jada giggled. For a moment, she had forgotten all about the gala that would take place tomorrow night.

"The MC doesn't really need a date does he? Although I'm thinking of hiring a last minute backup and firing you." Jada teased.

Troy's eyes widened in pretend horror. "Remember what we talked about? Work keeps me sane. Don't do this to me!"

Jada giggled and marveled at how handsome he was, how tough he was, how committed he was. Reina had given up so many good things. How was she ever friends with her?

Slowly, Jada took a step closer to Troy and wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into her. She felt him relax a little and return the embrace. She rubbed her fingers along his back grazing his muscle definition. Impetuously, Troy squeezed her tighter and let out an exasperated sigh.

"You're doing a great job Troy," Jada whispered as if they were in a room full of people. "You really are."

Troy put enough space between them stare into Jada's eyes again. She could see the mix of emotion within him. His effort to be strong when he really wanted to cave in. So when his dark eyes were laced with tears, Jada paid it no mind. But when Troy's full lips brushed her own, when he lifted her blouse, his hands began caressing the nuances of her body and begging for reciprocity, Jada complied. She didn't care if she hated herself in the morning. She didn't care that it was her best friend's husband.

If tonight he needed love, Jada would be the one to love him.

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How are you feeling about this section?

[sillystarsmoons]

Oh this section was so sweet. I loved the chapter, hope you write more soon?

[starpollen]

Wow... they hooked up kind of fast, BUT... I am not upset about this. Looking forward to some sappy caretaking in future installments!

[LetMeBe]

@Sillystarsmoons I am really glad you are enjoying the story!

@Starpollen they definitely did hook up fast! Lots of pent up energy going on there! lol.

Thanks for commenting and reading!

Part 4

Lying in the middle of the king sized bed that just a year ago would have been unforbidden territory, with a man that would have been unforbidden territory, Jada rested. Feelings, thoughts, were all discernible at the time. A part of her wasn't even sure how it came to that point. One minute she was cleaning, the next he was carrying her upstairs to the bedroom. The bedroom. In the moment, Jada didn't have time to survey the area.

Now, with Troy's head resting on her bosom, with his hands intertwined with hers, Jada couldn't help but wonder if he was always this connected, this close. She spent far too long in a relationship with a man that took what he wanted and rolled over to sleep. Jada knew she deserved better, but Troy could easily become something she got used too. In spite of herself, Jada didn't think that would be healthy for either of them. She didn't want to become the second Reina. She didn't want to be the fill in. She had come to his doorstep to see the kids, to be there for support, and even support him should he need it, and she wanted to do it being Jada. In all the confusion in her head, that was the one thing Jada was clear on.

Glancing over at the night stand on the right side of the bed was a picture of Reina and Troy. They had just gotten engaged. Reina was radiant with big hair and a red dress. Troy appeared energized and optimistic about life. What was he now? Why was that picture still there? Jada continued to survey the room as best she could and it was disappointing, like the rest of the house. Troy couldn't move on, because everything was the same while being completely different. He had pictures of her as if she were still here. Jada didn't dare look, but she was willing to bet the close Reina had left were still in the dresser drawers.

That's when she realized that she shouldn't be there. Not in this capacity.

Troy's body was slightly warm. It was the onset of a fever. The weight from his body made it difficult for Jada to maneuver from underneath him, but she managed. Troy slightly stirred but then settled back into a deep sleep. He needed it.

Hastily putting on her clothes, Jada crept downstairs. The plan was to get her shit and go, but she felt terrible leaving the living room in such a disheveled state. I'll be quick, Jada told herself. She immediately began putting toys in the toy box, fluffing pillows, and dusting the tables. She wanted to run a vacuum over the carpet but didn't want to wake anyone. Feeling satisfied with her work, Jada stood in the middle of the living room feeling waves of nostalgia flood over her. After today, she would surely need an impromptu therapy session. Jada didn't feel like cutting herself...she didn't know what she felt.

"Huh ITSCHO!" The sound of Troy's muffled sneeze coming from the doorway, made her jump. He leaned on the door frame, obviously still tired with obviously agitated sinuses. " Huh NGXT! Huh IHMPT!" Troy let out a sigh after ever sneeze and pinched at his nose. Jada watched as he fought to regain control and lost. "Hih IMPTU! Heh NGXT! Heh NGXT!" Troy stifled to suppress the sound but it was doing nothing to relieve the tickle in his nose.

Eyes watering and slightly squinted, face flushed, nostrils flared in perpetual anticipation, Troy's pre-sneeze face indicated that he was anything but done sneezing.

"Why are you Heh MMGPTU...leaving?" He sniffled bringing a fist to his mouth to sneeze again.

"You could use the rest Troy. Besides, I don't wanna be here when the kids wake up." Jada reasoned quietly.

Troy's body shuttered as he was overtaken with a violent sneeze that left him bent over and leaning against the door frame for support.

"Bless you," Jada whispered clutching her keys.

"The kids won't be up for another 4 hours. Stay a little while longer." Troy asked without pleading.

"Troy what we did was impulsive-"

"And I don't regret it."

"I'm not her."

"Thank God for that!" He fired back.

"I just don't think you are thinking about this clearly. I mean, you aren't ready for what we just did Troy. You just aren't." Jada concluded heading towards the door. Troy's eyes grew icy.

"What are you my fuckin therapist now? Excuse me, but I don't think I need advice from the woman who slices her own body." Troy spat out angrily.

"Maybe not, but you need advice from somebody!" Jada felt herself get angrier. "What is with you and Reina anyway? Both of you like to cut people where it hurts the most right? You just say whatever you can to make them feel worse than you might feel. You don't care who it is or what their intentions are you just wanna go in for the kill!"

Tears streamed down Jada's face. "Well guess what? I can play that game too! You're a fuckin wreck Troy! You're a wreck that can't move on because you're perfect little dream life blew up in flames. Reina left because she was bored with you she literally said that she felt like she was dying! You weren't enough for her Troy. You never were. And fuck you for bringing up something I haven't done in 6 months! It's more than you'll EVER say!"

Jada didn't wait to read his reaction. She walked out and slammed the door behind her. Fuck Troy. Fuck Reina. But the kids... Jada allowed herself to cry for the kids.

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Sorry it's a shorter update than the others. I'll post more later! Hope you like it!

[TheCakeIsAlive]

Oh wow. Very amazing story. Can't wait to read more. *is hooked*

[Aprilcot]

Wow!

I think I'll need therapy if you don't update haha

This is just amazing...

[Tassielli]

Omg

[LetMeBe]

@Sigrith I'm glad you like the story thus far!!!! Thanks for reading!

@Aprilcot I'm posting again today just so you don't have to go to therapy! Seriously, I hear it's expensive! hahahahahaha.

Part 5

Had it been any other day, Jada's thoughts would have been owned by her incident with Troy. Considering that it was the day of the Healthy Heart Gala there was no time for melancholic thoughts. Jada had been running around all morning doing sound checks, discussing music with the DJ, organizing the caterers and everything else. It was HealthPower.com's third largest fundraising event of the year. Jada had been with the company since it's inception, which is why at 27 she was running the entire Marketing and Events department. Start ups may not pay as well as Fortune 500 companies but she loved the sense of responsibility and ownership she had.

By 12 o'clock, everything was ready at the ballroom, and it was time for Jada to prepare for the evening. Before her hair appointment, she had scheduled an impromptu thirty minute session with Dr. McCoy. She needed clarity before she saw Troy later on in the day. Jada had begun seeing Dr. McCoy two weeks after Reina split. Jada had begun cutting herself irrepressibly. It was something she had done periodically as a child, but nothing to that extent. She had been smart enough to avoid pressure points, veins, and visible areas of her body; although after a while, it became too painful for her to sleep on her stomach because of all the cuts. She had been making 3 to cuts daily. Jada didn't hesitate to acknowledge that she had a problem.

Dr. McCoy was a medium height, silver haired man in his early 50's. He wore fashionable Gucci eye glasses and was always well dressed and upbeat. Jada had taken to him immediately because of his normalcy. Dr. McCoy didn't really seem or feel like a doctor, even when he was listening intently and scribbling in his black leather notebook. Dr. McCoy's office felt like home to Jada, whether or not that within itself was healthy was of no concern to her.

"Hi Jada!" He said in his sing songy voice.

"Dr. McCoy you are gonna commit me after I tell you what I've done over the past day and a half." Jada giggled plopping down on his red and black couch.

"I've been waiting for something juicy like this!" He said grinning as if it were gossip between friends instead of a doctor patient relationship. "Tell me everything, from the beginning."

Jada unveiled every detail over the past day and a half to Dr. McCoy. Every feeling. Every thought. Every concern. She left no rock unturned. When she was finished, Dr. McCoy sighed theatrically and sipped his coffee out of a silver mug that said "someone special loves me and gave me this mug."

"What do you think?" Jada asked apprehensively.

"The real question is what do YOU think?" He said grinning at her.

"I think the sex was great. I think he's an upstanding man with good intentions, but I think he is in an unstable place right now. And I don't want him to confuse himself or me. At the same time, i want a relationship with Ariana and Robby. As far as I'm concerned I'm still their Aunt."

Dr. McCoy nodded his head. "But if Troy was clearheaded and certain that he wanted to explore a more intimate relationship with you, what are your thoughts on that?"

Jada shifted in her seat. Dr. McCoy chuckled at her. Jada always shifted in her seat when she became uncomfortable. Dr. McCoy always got a laugh out of it which eventually made Jada laugh and feel more at ease.

"I don't want to replace Reina. If it was about me and not about him missing her...I'd consider it. I really would. But I don't think he's there yet. Do you?"

Dr. McCoy shrugged. "Who knows Jada? Have you talked to him about his version of Reina's abrupt departure?"

Jada shook her head. "No. After she left, we both just kind of...you know?"

"Yes, I know."

"So I should say something right? Like, we should discuss this? I can tell him my side and he can tell me his."

"It will certainly provide more perspective for the both of you. Don't be so hard on him Jada. You may be more resilient than he is, but he doesn't have to know that. Understand?" Dr. McCoy said quietly with great severity.

"I understand."

Troy arrived to the gala 20 minutes before it started. The room was already full of people and Jada was waiting anxiously for her MC to arrive, but when he did Jada wanted to send him home immediately. The dark circles under his eyes deepened, his nostrils were red, and he clutched his hankerchief as if it was his life line. Be mature, Jada told herself before walking over to him. She had to give him the testimonials and ensure there wasn't any confusion about what he needed to do. Using a warm approach, Jada smiled as she walked over to him and pretended to miss his icy glare.

"How are you feeling?" Jada asked quietly turning her back to nearby coworkers.

A throat ripping sneeze escaped from Troy in response to her question. " Eh-HUHEAATCHO!" He managed to stifle two more sneezes and then blew his nose in his hankerchief.

"Bless you, Troy." Jada instinctively raised her hand to his arm and then thought about it and pulled away sheepishly. Pull it together Jada, she chastised. Jada's choice of warmth did not go unappreciated.

"Thank you," He replied in a raspy voice. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm not feeling any better."

"You're voice sounds like your throat hurts." Jada began thinking of possible replacements.

"HUH ETSCH! Huh-UPSCHTU! (sniffle) I literally cannot stop sneezing, and Robby spent the morning complaining about how loud I was being the 'morning time'."

Jada threw her head back in laughter before regaining focus. "Are you up for this? Because I can have someone else do it like...once of the interns."

"I'd hate to let you down like that, Jada." He confessed. "Especially after earlier."

"I'm pretty sure we both were out of line. But we can address that at a later time. Right now, I need to know if you're in or out." Jada suddenly turned all business trying to restrain her emotions.

Troy stifled another sneeze.

"I'm taking that as a no. Go home Troy." She touched his shoulder once more and then turned to go find one of the interns to take his place.

Troy didn't object. Jada hurried to prep one of the interns before the event went underway. Once the lights were dimmed and dinner was served the rest of the night felt like a whirlwind. Jada forgot to see if Troy actually left. However, Evan, the Marketing intern, turned out to be an amazing MC and even through in some impromptu jokes. He had been excited to have an opportunity to "save the day".

It was close to midnight when the last guest went home. Jada kicked off her shoes and began taking the pins out of her freshly straightened hair so it fell down to her shoulders. Closing her eyes for just a moment, Jada began rubbing the back of her neck. The events from the last two days had caught up to her, so when she felt masculine hands massaging her shoulders she was slow to object or identify the culprit.

"Good job today," He whispered into her ear. His voice still raspy and full of congestion.

Jada felt her body shiver at the warmth of his choice. Keep things in perspective Jada, she old herself. "You stayed? I thought I told you to go home?"

"I wanted to watch and make sure everything went okay. I lingered out in the hallway for the majority of the time for obvious reasons," he motioned towards his nose with one hand but continued to apply pressure to her shoulders with the other.

"Well, it's late. I'm gonna get ready to head out."

"Me too," Troy said quickly before turning to his head to sneeze twice into his fist. It was obvious Troy had very little fight left as each sneeze was less violent as the previous ones.

Jada wondered to herself if now was a good time to set the boundary. "If you want, I can come pick up the kids tomorrow morning and keep them occupied throughout the day so you can focus on getting better."

Troy hesitated. "I'll be fine," he replied halfheartedly.

Jada pouted her full lips and batted her eyes like a child. "Pleeeease, Troy. You won't be disappointed. I mean seriously, you should do something for yourself more often."

Troy shoved his hands in his pocket and stared down at his feet while he pondered. After a short pause, he looked up at her and nodded his head in agreement.

"Was that a yes?" Jada whispered excitedly.

Troy chuckled. "That was a yes."

"Okay then! I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah," Troy said quietly. "See you tomorrow."

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More coming soon....

[Tassielli]

Ur r awesome I loved it. So she cut her stomach. I was a little confused if that was the beatings or her bu okay I get it now. Great job.

[ichixshiro14]

Omg!! I don't go on a couple days and there's 3 updates!!! Thank youuuu!!!! I love how this is progressing

[sillystarsmoons]

Ok that was just wow I am loving the updates seriously. Can't wait to see another update. thanks or posting these updates.

[Aprilcot]

HAHA!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for saving me the expense lol

WOW!!!! What an update!!!!

I can't wait to see what happens with the kids tomorrow...

[sneezychick93]

I LOVE this story! I cant wait to read more!!

[TheCakeIsAlive]

Oooh, the plot thickens. *sits on edge of chair hoping for more to magically appear*

[LetMeBe]

THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT!!!!!!!

Part 6

Bright and early the next morning, Jada raced to grab Starbucks before picking up the kids. Sleep had been elusive the night before. The wheels in her mind continued to turn as she contemplated how she would respond should the kids act out again. Troy had simply vacated the area and let the kids cry. While kids should be allowed to express themselves, Jada wasn't sure Troy's methods were necessarily the best methods. He was perhaps, too tired to deal with them anymore. Being a product of a negligent home, Jada knew that bad things would ensue if he didn't start helping the kids move forward. Then again, he himself needed to move forward, but that was a personal problem that Jada was hesitant to sign up for. She did, however, buy him a box of white tea while she was waiting in line. The antioxidents might help him get over his cold a little faster.

With a bounce to her step and a genuine smile, Jada could feel her excitement settle in. She loved Ariana and Robby as if they were her own. Being away from them for a year was nearly unbearable but Troy had been very good at ignoring her, and after the things Reina had said Jada was unwilling to set herself up for more failure. After ringing the doorbell, Jada listened for tiny footsteps. She thought for sure Ariana would be the one to answer the door with her big blue eyes staring up at her. To her surprise, Troy answered the door.

"Oh," Jada was caught by surprise when she saw him. If he looked bad yesterday, it was clear that he was even worse today, which was confirmation enough that she was making the right decision. Beads of sweat collected across his forehead, although he was dressed in a gray sweatshirt and sweat pants. His eyes were bloodshot with deepened dark circles. The hankerchief Troy held steadily in front of his nose obstructed her view but if she had to guess his thin nostrils were a dark pink by now.

Without speaking, Troy moved out of the doorway and motioned for her to come in. Jada stepped inside the house and saw that the living room was messy again.

"Ariana! Robby!" She called out.

"Huh-EATSCHU!" Troy was bent over, both hands clasped over his nose. The desperation of his sneeze indicated that more was to come. "Huh-Aah-HUH-EAPTSHU! (sniffle) Itchu!" Troy weakly blew his nose an sighed which induced a coughing fit that left him wincing and grabbing at his throat.

"I brought you tea," Jada said quietly, still listening for Robby and Ariana. She thought for sure she'd hear Robby complaining about it being too loud and Ariana saying "bless you Daddy," in a voice that had been dripped in honey. The sound of Troy sniffling was all the sound there was.

"You did?" Troy sounded surprised through his congestion. "Thanks. Huh-EPTSCHU"

"You sound terrible. Are you running a fever?" Impetuously, she found herself placing her hand on his forehead. He was definitely warm. Troy reached for her hand and brought it to his lips where he kissed her fingers before interlacing them through his own. Through his bloodshot eyes, Jada could see the wheels spinning in the back of his head.

"Where are the kids?" Jada asked her voice barely audible.

His lips behaved as if she had said nothing...but as if she were his own to have. He has a fever, she reminded herself. Amiably, Jada slipped her hand away from his.

"Where are the kids Troy?" She asked once more. The way he diverted his eyes said it all. "They aren't here are they?"

"I didn't really have a plan for what I would do once you got here." He confessed, obviously embarrassed. "I just knew I wanted you to come."

Jada sipped her coffee allowing her mind to go blank. This was a set-up. When she asked him yesterday there was hesitation, and now Jada knew why. Being lied too was never acceptable, but for some reason she couldn't allow herself to get angry.

"And I want you to stay." He added reaching to touch her only to have Jada slap his hand away.

"Where are the kids?" She asked again.

"Are they all you care about?" He asked obviously hurt by her persistence.

"Clue me in as to what this is about Troy." Jada instructed firmly. Fear was overwhelming her. The situation had changed faster than she could grasp and now he was asking her questions she wasn't sure how to answer. Was this a test?

"It's about me wanting you to stay Jada." When Jada didn't respond right away, Troy began to get desperate. "The kids are with my mom and my brother today. They are spending the night over there to visit the new baby. I was supposed to go but I'm damn near on my death bed so..."

"So you thought you could trick me into coming over here? To do what exactly?"

Troy sighed vehemently. "She haunts me most when I'm alone. But since the night other day when we had pizza and...And we had that moment... I've been thinking about you and...that feels better than thinking about her. It feels healthier." He confessed.

Silence. Words eluded her. Disappointment taunted her. Excitement threatened her. A decision had to be made. Was she a distraction for him? Is that what she wanted to be? Did she care?

"If I get this cold, you are gonna owe me big time!" Jada said pointing her finger at him.

Troy smirked. "I will make it up to you. Guaranteed."

Two hours after Jada had arrived and Troy was sniffling and sneezing continually. Although he kept medicating on Dayquil and Tylenol Cold and Sinus, they seemed to be doing absolutely nothing to relinquish his symptoms. In that sense, Jada was relieved that she could be there with him and he didn't have to suffer alone. Every thirty minutes, she'd take a cold towel and wipe the perspiration from his forehead and chest, which he hated because he already felt so cold. He had already drank 3 cups of tea while they watched two episodes of Mad Men . Jada sat in the chair next to the bed, despite Troy asking her to share the bed with him. Jada knew that it would be dangerous territory. In spite of how she felt, Jada had refused him.

"Huh-Itschum. Huh-NXGT-ew! I think I'b getting worse," Troy whined before blowing his nose. Jada couldn't help but find him irresistibly adorable.

"Why don't you just sleep for a little, Troy?"

"And what would you do?" His voice dripping with skepticism.

"Are you staying awake because you think I'm going to leave if you fall asleep?" Jada asked, wearing a smile.

Troy's lack of response left Jada perplexed. It was a simple enough question and yet his hesitation indicated something more. "Troy?" Jada said leaning in closer.

Pensive, he fixed his eyes on Jada as she stared back at him waiting for an answer. Rubbing the tip of nose to ward off another sneeze, Troy sniffed aggressively before turning his back to her.

"Troy?" Jada asked again.

"I'm tired," he replied in an icy tone.

Left in complete bewilderment, Jada turned off the plasma TV that hung across from the bed and went downstairs. Never had she known Troy to be so temperamental. Perhaps he was always this way and it was part of the reason Reina left. Not that it was an excuse to leave her kids, but maybe he really did make her unhappy.

Reina. She'd always be there in her thoughts. Every time she walked into the house or spoke to Troy or looked at the kids it would be Reina in the back of her mind taunting her. Was there an off chance that being here and interacting with Troy and the kids would make her worse? Jada thought about it as she cleaned the living room for the second time that week. This time dusting and vacuuming as well. When she was finished, she went on to clean the kitchen including mopping the floor which had cereal stuck to the floor. Troy needed to hire a housekeeper or something because it was obvious he didn't have the time or energy to do any of this. By the time she was finished, an hour had already past. She wasn't sure how long Troy would sleep, but the fear of letting her mind wander was so intense that went right on to making lunch.

In a domestic type of mood, Jada thawed out chicken and boiled noodles to make home made chicken noodle soup. Mrs. Yates, Reina's mother, had made it for them all the time when they were kids. The thought of Mrs. Yates warmed Jada's heart. Most of the time, Reina had gripes about her mother but that's just how Reina was. Mrs. Yates had always been a tiny and somewhat frail woman with a serene temperament. It was rare that Mrs. Yates raised her voice and it was typically only during festive times, when she would throw her head back in laughter and clap her hands as if she were a child. In general, Jada refused to argue with Reina, accept to come to the defense of Mrs. Yates.

Jada could recall when they were 15 and Reina had stolen $30 from her mother's wallet and when Mrs. Yates inquired about it Reina called her a "fucking bitch". Mrs. Yates, immediately felt guilty and apologized to Reina. When they were alone, Jada couldn't help but express her anger.

"You know you took that money Reina!" Jada said in a hushed voice.

"Who the fuck cares Jada? Seriously, what are you gonna do? Tell on me?" Reina spat out rolling her eyes dismissively as she had always done.

They both knew Jada wasn't going to tell. "I'm just saying that it must be rough on her financially since your dad left."

"Well..." Reina had paused to recount the money she had stolen. "Well, she should have thought about that before she made him leave."

It was the end of that conversation. Jada knew to argue with her best friends was useless. There was Reina's way and then...there was Reina's way.

Jada had been so lost in though that she hadn't heard Troy come downstairs and take a seat at the table.

"Smells good," he said startling her. Jada looked him over in an effort to calculate his mood...He seemed fine.

"It'll be done in a few minutes. Did you sleep long enough?"

He shrugged. "Probably not."

Unsure of what to say to him, Jada continued adding spices to the broth until it was perfect. When it was finished she filled two glass bowls with soup and sat one in front of Troy, who looked up at her with reverence. Smiling at him, Jada took her seat and gave him a questioning look.

"What is it?" She whispered.

Only in this quiescent state could he capture her this way. Curly hair pulled into a loose, messy ponytail, light brown eyes curious with wonder and hands with only the most gentle of touches. Troy made an important conclusion that he hadn't been sure of until this moment.

"You're nothing like her." He admitted resting his fingers on top of her own.

Jada forced herself not to smile. "I never have been."

"I know, but it was always so hard to tell. You hardly said much when the two of you were together. And when she left I..." Troy's voice trailed off as he cupped his hands over his face. "ASTCHOO! ASTCHOO! HUH-HIH-EASTCHOO!"

Jada was in a frozen state as she watched him shake his head vigorously trying to fight the inevitable truth: there was more to come. "Huh-APSTCH! APSTCH-ew!"

"Can you...ESTCH-ew...Huh-Heh-"

While Troy was stuck in pre-sneeze torture, Jada quickly grabbed a napkin and placed it around his nose just in time for a wet sneeze explosion. Embarrassed Troy grabbed the napkin quickly and wiped his nose.

"Sorry about that," he said, although his eyes were still squinted and his nostrils continued to twitch. It wasn't long before he brought the already full napkin up to his face once more. "Yeh-YESTCH-ew!"

Jada could feel the personal parts of her quivering to a point of distraction. She forced herself to look at her soup and regain control.

"Sorry about that. The steam just-"

"It's okay." Jada interjected nervously. "And bless you by the way."

He sent her a warm smile. "Thank you. But...as I was saying, when she left, I was so sure you were in on it the entire time." He confessed.

Jada's eyes widened in surprise. "What? Why?"

Troy shook his head. "I don't know. I guess, because she told you everything."

"Except she didn't. I didn't know anything about that guy she took off with."

"There was another man?" Troy asked quietly. Jada wished she would have shut up. She wished she wasn't there to witness the anguish present behind his dark eyes. She wish she really was playing with the kids, but Dr. McCoy had said this type of thing was healthy. This is healthy Jada, she told herself.

"Troy, what did she tell you?" Jada asked. It was her turn to interlock her fingers with his.

Jada could see him staring behind her at the picture on the wall of him and Reina and the kids. It was taken a little over a year ago, a month before she left. He was definitely stronger than Jada, the first thing she did, along with start therapy, was hide all of the pictures.

"Nothing. She said nothing." He confessed. Slowly, tears began to form in his eyes. Jada squeezed his hand tighter and willed herself to be strong. "She had been very short with me for like a month. Everything just seemed like a chore for her, and I noticed. I noticed because I loved her more than I had ever loved anyone in my entire life, Jada."

The first tear fell.

"And when you love someone like that, you notice. So I suggested we plan a vacation. Maybe she was stressed out, I don't know. I just thought we needed something."

"So what happened?" Jada asked.

The far away look in his eyes deepened. "We discussed the trip that night. She was detached and dismissive about the whole thing and I couldn't figure out why. I tried to...to reconnect us that night but she pushed me away."

The second tear fell.

"The next morning, she had breakfast on the table. She kissed me goodbye like nothing was wrong. But...When I came home that night...she wasn't there. All that was left was this note on her side of the bed that said: take care of the kids."

Troy fell silent, while still staring at the picture of a seemingly happy family. Jada couldn't image how she would feel if Reina had left without her knowing. She wondered if it was better to have someone leave on a bad note, than to have them leave without you ever knowing they were leaving for good. Guilt hit Jada like a tidal wave. She got more than Troy ever did. He deserved more from her. Tears fell from a man's eyes that loved a woman deeply. Loved her more than she deserved, and all he got was a note.

Troy wiped the tear from his eyes and went to taste the soup. Curiously, he looked up at Jada with a small smile on his face. "This soup tells me...you're nothing like her."

They both threw their head back and laughed. For a moment, Jada had hoped the moment had passed. Until she saw the questions in his eyes. His eyes. Why had she never noticed how much they said?

"What?" Jada asked coyly.

"You saw her that day didn't you?" He continued to eat the soup as if they were having a regular conversation.

Jada nodded.

"I knew you had. Because you weren't at work that day. At first I thought you were sick, but when I realized Reina had taken off...I just thought you had helped her or something."

"No. I tried to stop her but it was no use Troy."

He sighed deeply nodding his head in agreement. "So she ran off with a guy?"

"Yeah. I never knew his name. She had been seeing him for about 4 months. I never met him but she would tell me about all of the places he'd been and all of these clubs he took her too. He was this thrill and she was addicted. You noticed how she dropped weight so suddenly right?"

Troy blew his nose before responding. "Yeah, but she said it was stress."

"I've known Reina my entire life, when she's stressed she doesn't lose weight!" Jada said emphatically.

"You think she was using?" The thought in itself horrifying him.

"I do. She was thin and fidgety and... I mean... my father was an alcohol abuser so I can't be sure but there's something about an addict. They give off this vibe...I call it the crazy vibe. Because the person just seems like they really will do anything if they don't get what they want. Reina was like that...She seemed like nothing would stop her from experiencing this exciting new life. You didn't notice how she was gone at night?"

"She told me she was with you Jada." Troy began to look flushed. It was hard to tell if it was a result of his fever or his anger. "This is why I hated you... I thought you helped her. What exactly happened the last time you saw her? Tell me everything."

Not telling him wasn't an option. So she told him. She told him everything from the beginning: the way she looked, what she said, the way Reina attacked her up until what she said before walking out of her life for good. Troy sat back in his chair and dabbed at his nose, which had begun to run.

"So what did you do?" He asked rubbing tip of his nose.

"You're going to sneeze Troy don't fight it." She chastised playfully.

Like a little child that had been caught in the cookie jar, Troy stopped rubbing his nose and soon enough a sneeze began to build.

"What did....huh...you do?" He asked again as his breath hitched. His eyes were halfway shut and his nostrils were flared.

"I went into the bathroom and began cutting myself." She confessed.

"You did?" Troy had gotten distracted long enough to be overtaken. "ITSCHO! UPTSCHU! Heh-ETCH! ETCH!"

Each sneeze ripped out of Troy like rapid fire, leaving him clutching his throat and wincing slightly at the pain.

"Maybe you should rest some more," Jada suggested.

Troy nodded his head and rose to his feet. She began collecting the dishes when she felt his hands on her waste. Jada froze. The look in his eyes when he spoke about how much he loved Reina told her enough. She could support him. She could help with the kids, but she couldn't be his lover. She couldn't be the one to love him past his pain.

"Come up with me," he pleaded in a seductive whisper. "Let's make her go away, Jada."

All thoughts vacated her mind. His hands. The way his hands caressed her hips, forced her eyes closed. The way his soft lips brushed against her neck allowed a soft moan to escape from her lips. Where was her willpower? Where were her boundaries? What happened to letting him heal? His body touching her body was everything she wanted but none of what she needed, and no one was there to stop them.

In spite of his weakened state, Troy had the strength to swoop Jada into his arms and begin taking her up the stairs. Thoughts of what they would do raced through her mind faster than she could process, until she heard it.

She heard the ring.

Her cellphone ring.

"Stop!" She told him in panic. Confused Troy set Jada onto her feet.

"What? What am I doing?"

She didn't wait to explain. With haste, Jada raced to her purse and stared at her blackberry in great trepidation. Was this a joke?

"Who is it?" Troy demanded.

Jada looked up at Troy in sheer panic.

"Jada?!" He began walking toward her ready to take the phone.

"It's Reina!" Jada screamed taking several steps away from him. Troy stopped. She stopped. The phone kept ringing.

This is the moment, Jada thought to herself. I can make a choice.

With trembling hands, Jada clicked the call button, turned her back away from Troy and put the phone to her ear...

"Hello?" She asked her voice trembling.

"Hi Jada."

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Hope you like it!!!!!!!!

[sillystarsmoons]

I loved this, it's amazing. I can't even begin how to describe how much I love this story or this chapter. Thanks for updating can't wait to see another update soon.