London Bridge

[sillystarsmoons]

Oh my goodness. This story is excellent. So glad you updated!

I agree, I can't wait to read more either. Hope you post another chapter soon.

[foreverajerseygirl]

You have me on the edge of my seat...this is fantastic!

[obsessed]

That last line is hauntingly beaaautiful. (:

[LetMeBe]

Decided to post THE LAST part! I hope it doesn't disappoint.

Part 10

Sleep. It was the only thing Jada allowed herself to do other than stare at the suicide letters that sat on her hotel dresser. She had gone to pick up her copies the day before and was now to unsettled to read them. Every time she thought she worked up the courage she simply began to feel tired and resorted to her bed once more. Fatigue had become a personal confidant for Jada. The desire to sleep was better than the desire to cut. The desire to sleep was better than fainting. The desire to sleep was better than overwhelming guilt. Even so, she could not sleep forever.

Along with sleeping she ignored every single one of Troy's phone calls and text messages. She only responded to him once informing him that Ms. Yates did not want a formal ceremony for Reina or for herself. They wanted to be buried quietly.

Quietly.

The idea in itself amused Jada far more than it should have. Yet, she still managed to make funeral plans. There would be no service. Just a minister at the cemetery to say a prayer as their bodies were lowered into the ground. And then it would be over. In two days it would all be over. Jada had told Troy she thought it would be a good idea for him and the kids to pay their respects but he hadn't responded. A part of Jada expected some sort of reply, then again - silence isn't always bad. Feeling exhausted, Jada closed the blinds and went to sleep.

The next morning Jada was awakened by the sound of her phone ringing.

"Hello?" she answered groggily.

"Ms. Johnson? This is Sergeant LeRoy."

"Yeah?"

"I just wanted to let you know the case has been closed. If you'd like, you can come and pick up the original copies of the suicide notes."

Jada lied there in limbo momentarily. The letters had seemed so important at the time and yet she didn't want to look at them.

"Okay. I'll come get them tomorrow, after the funeral."

"Great. You have a good day Ms. Johnson."

"Yup." Jada hung up the phone and sat up in her bed. The clock said 2pm. How in the hell had she slept for nearly 17 hours? Jada was overwhelmed by the smell of her own filth. Having not showered in three days was more than she was willing to accept. But showers made her think of shaving. She shouldn't be shaving. Shaving made her think of cutting. Cutting was what she was trying NOT to do.

Annoyed with her destructive tendencies, Jada considered the suicide notes. She should read them. But what would they do to her? What if after reading the letter she wanted to do more than sleep? In need of support, Jada called the only person she trusted most. Dr. McCoy.

"Hello Jada," He said in a cheerful voice. "I was wondering about you."

"Can I read something to you?" Jada blurted out straight tot he point.

"What will you be reading?" He asked curiously.

"I have two suicide letters. One from Ms. Yates, Reina's mother who killed herself a few days ago. And one from Reina who returned to her mothers house and killed herself the day prior. Which one should I read first?"

Dr. McCoy fell silent. "Which one are you most afraid to read?"

"Reina's."

"Read it last."

Without contention, Jada reached for Ms. Yates letter.

"Here it goes," Jada whispered trembling.

"My Sweet Little Jada,

You were not my own daughter, but I loved you anyway. Thank you for coming whenever I called. Thank you for always being so sweet. Thank you for not giving up hope that Reina would return to us someday. Did I ever tell you how pretty you are? Well...you are absolutely lovely even on your worst days. Don't tell anyone, but Reina always envied that. I want you to know how sorry I am that I am leaving you this way. I simply couldn't be without my Ray of Sunshine another day. In case there is any confusion, everything I own now belongs to you. It isn't much, but it's yours.

Jada Sweetie, please let us go quietly. A spectacle is not needed. Again, I'm sorry we left you this way.

Love always,

Mama Yates "

Jada inhaled deeply five times. "She wrote as if she'd see me next week." Jada whispered.

"There's no template for suicide notes Jada." Dr. McCoy reasoned.

"There's nothing in here about Ariana and Robby." The disappointment Jada was experiencing was obvious. Dr. McCoy listened and waited for her to continue.

"I'm going to read Reina's now." She cautioned.

"I'm ready when you are."

Jada grabbed the garbage can and brought it near her bed in case she decided to vomit. Breathing deeply, she opened the envelope and stared at the squiggly handwriting that belonged to Reina. The tears were inescapable, and Jada hated herself for it.

"Dear Jada," she began in a quiet quivering voice.

"You'll have to speak louder Jada."

"Dear Jada," She repeated. "You were the only friend I ever really had, and the only person that ever really loved me. I know I hurt a lot of people. Is it bad that I most of all hated hurting you? Probably. You'd remind me of Ariana and Robby right about now. You'd remind me of my responsibilities and obligations. You always tried to get me to do the right things, and I never did them. I'm sorry for that.

"When my babies ask how I died. When they are old enough to understand... Tell them the truth Jada. Tell them I lost my way and I went to find it in the wrong places. Tell them I had a sickness in my head I couldn't escape from. Tell them I tried to make it stop but it wouldn't. Tell them I loved them in my own way. And please Jada, don't forget to tell them to NEVER. EVER. DO drugs. They aren't the answer to any problems. They cause more pain.

"Lastly, tell Troy he's a good man, and none of this is his fault and to move on with his life as fast as he can. Jada, I love you. I'm sorry. Remember that day your Dad threw a glass bottle at your mom's head and we were hiding in the closet? Remember how she called the police on him but the cop with the ugly hands came and took your mom instead of your dad? I know what your dad did to you after I went home that night Jada. I want you to know I'm sorry for that too.

If you are wondering why, know this...I've never been good at enduring pain.

Remember who your best friend is,

Rei Rei"

She thought she would continue crying. After all, the tears flooded her face prior to the first word being read. However, by the end of the letter, Jada was empty. She wasn't sad. She wasn't afraid. She wasn't remorseful. There was nothing but a deep, patient vacancy. When she told Dr. McCoy how she felt, he chuckled to himself.

"Jada, you are going to be fine."

"I cut myself the day I found them. I watched them rest on the bloody tile and cut my stomach." she confessed with great earnestness.

"Do you want to cut yourself right now?"

"Not really."

"Do you think you'll want to cut yourself later?"

"Maybe?"

"Jada, you'll be fine."

"Okay."

The next morning was gloomy. Misty rain drizzled down gradually moistening the earth. Today was a perfect day for a funeral. A funeral that wouldn't really be a funeral. Either way Jada didn't care. After reading the letters allowed to Dr. McCoy and making it through the night and through a shower without yearning for metal to press against her body, Jada simply felt ready. There wasn't an eagerness to her, but an emptiness waiting to be filled with something else. Something other than the toxic emotions that had consumed her. After much thought, Jada was convinced it was those same noxious emotions that consumed Reina, leading her down a path of irreparable destruction.

Once at the cemetery, Jada rested in her car before attempting to move. She could see Troy had already arrived with Ariana and Robby gripping his hands as they made there way to the two plots of land. This is it, she thought gently sniffing her nose. Recognizing minor stuffiness, Jada grabbed a kleenex to clear out her sinuses before the funeral. Leaving the rest of her kleenexes in the car, Jada was convinced she wouldn't need them. There would be no crying...she was empty.

The last one to arrive, Jada took her spot opposite of Troy and the kids. Avoiding eye contact with Troy, Jada gave an encouraging smile to Ariana and Robby who both had their brave faces on as they waved to her.

"NGXT!" Jada listened for more sneezes but when there were none, she dared to look up at him. The color had returned to his face and he didn't seem beat down by fatigue as he had before. In fact, he looked painstakingly handsome in his all black suit. Clearly the bigger person, Troy smiled at her respectfully without saying a word. Jada followed suit wondering if she had been a little over dramatic by not answering his phone calls.

"Bless you Daddy," Ariana whispered to him.

A bigger smile crossing his face he leaned over and whispered in her ear, "thank you babydoll."

"It's not loud this time!" Robby chimed in pulling on his suit jacket.

"May I begin?" The minister interrupted.

"Yes," Jada replied with a confidence that surprised herself. Perhaps she was more eager to get this over with than she had anticipated.

"Where are all of the people?" Ariana asked in horror. "Mama and Grandma didn't have any friends?"

"No babydoll, they only wanted the people they loved most in the world to be here today." Troy reasoned. Satisfied with his answer Ariana folded her hands in her lap and stood quietly as the Minister began his sermon. Thankful she had instructed the Minister to be brief, Jada pulled her sweater tighter. The misty rain chilled her making her nose slightly uncomfortable.

Midway through the Minister's sermon, Jada felt a deep tickle in her nose. Subtly, she rubbed the tip of her nose with her index finger and sniffled, which seemed to do nothing for the impending sneeze she couldn't ward off. At this point, Jada regretted not bringing the extra kleenexes with her. Wanting to be as inconspicuous as possible, Jada hitched her breath, turned away from the small gathering and managed two muffled sneezes into her sweater. "Huhashoo! Huhashoo!"

Jada hoped for relief but the tickle seemed to only deepen. Sniffling deeply, Jada rubbing at her nose with more aggression. "hih-IGMPT! IGMPT!" Jada let out a sigh at the end of her stifles.

In spite of her resistance, Jada could feel the presence of the burning tickle in her nose as she tried to focus her energy on the sermon. Her best friend was being buried along with the her second mother. An all cried out Jada stood there waiting for a strong sense of emotion that never occurred. Of course she felt something, but none of which required tears.

The Minister had reached the end of the sermon and it was now time for each of them to take their turn throwing dirt on each of the sky blue caskets. Jada allowed Troy and the children to go first as she fought off the intolerable urge to sneeze. Troy allowed the kids to go first which put her directly behind him. Even with distance, the wind carried the scent of his cologne which on a typical day Jada appreciated.

"EH-Hetchu! Heh-heh ETSCHU! IGMPT!" Jada rubbed at her irritated, itchy nose again, but the sneeze was stuck.

Jada's eyes began to water as she rubbed the bridge of her nose and watched Ariana and Robby finish their ritual. Troy took his time gathering his dirt and even stopped to say a small prayer before throwing it onto Reina's casket. Daring to take her hand away from her nose, Jada held the dirt in her hands and stood there pensively.

"It's time to let go," Jada said under her breath as she tossed the dirt onto Reina's casket. "I love you both."

Jada stood next to Ariana and Robby as the caskets were lowered into the ground. One hand still massaging her nose, Jada was tormented by the overwhelming need to sneeze.

"Look Daddy, Auntie Jada is crying." Robby whispered to Troy.

"I'm not crying," Ariana said crossing her arms, indicating what a big girl she was.

"ASTCHOO!" Jada's entire body shook as she turned to sneeze into the open air away from Ariana and Robby. Embarrassed by the sound, Jada resorted to stifling two more sneezes as the ceremony came to an end.

"Bless you," Troy said pulling his own handkerchief from his pocket and offering it to her. "Do you need this?"

"Don't you still need it?" Jada teased.

"Nope. Got over my cold two days ago. That random sneeze was due to temperature change."

"Good for you," Jada replied more caustically than she intended. "How are the kids taking everything?" She asked refusing to take the handkerchief, but desperately needing it as another set of sneezes began to build.

Troy looked towards Ariana and Robby who were holding each others hands and looking at nearby tombstones. "Better. I honestly think it helps to know that "mommy went to heaven" vs. "no one knows where mommy went." They handled it surprisingly well."

"Good," Jada said enthusiastically. "Huh Etschu! (sniffle) Hih-Imptchu!" Her sneezes had become desperate, wet and higher in pitch.

"You look like you need to be taken care of." Troy spoke affectionately displaying his intentions. "But it's hard to tell considering you aren't answering my phone calls or text messages or anything."

Jada shifted her weight and crossed her arms, attempting to disguise a shiver. Unable to keep from comforting her, Troy rubbed his hands up and down her arms trying to generate a little heat. His touch alone sent warm waves through her body, awakening her in dormant places.

"I need to get myself together Troy. I'm a mess." Jada reasoned through her sniffles.

"You're a sensitive, caring woman, who feels so much it has the potential to ruin you and yet is your biggest strength. You are also a woman who doesn't know how to let someone love her properly."

"You think it's going to be so easy but it's not. I'm going back to therapy every day for at least the next month. And after that-"

Troy interrupted Jada with a gentle kiss to her lips. He then pulled her into his warm embrace and she did not bother to resist. Resting her head against his masculine chest as his hands rubbed her back and his lips moved across her forehead Jada felt herself begin to relax.

"Huh Etschu!"

Troy planted a kiss on Jada's nose and smiled down at her. "Bless you. Looks like you caught my cold." Jada nodded her head in agreement trying to fight off another sneeze. "I want more of this. Me and you. Me you and the kids. I know you are uncertain and I'm not saying we have to rush into anything at all Jada. We'll go as slow as you want and need to go. We'll do it how you want to do it. I'm-"

"Itschu!" Jada's mousy sneeze landed into her hand. As much as she hated to get sick, she loved the way Troy embraced her every time she shivered or sneezed. She imagined being sick with him around would be a completely different experience.

"Bless you again! I should get you and the kids out of the rain." He said more to himself than to her. "Ariana, Robby, let's go!"

As the kids ran over, Jada began to picture what her life could be like. She could pick up the pieces Reina shattered. She could have the type of love that she deserved. The ball was in her court and Troy was willing to play by her rules.

"Troy?"

"Yeah babe. I'm sorry...Jada." he corrected.

"I'm keeping the door open. I'm interested. I want too, but I want to be healthy. Huh Eptsh! Emotionally and physically." she giggled. "And I want you to be healthy and the kids to be healthy. I don't want us to be broken people."

"Jada, I already told you. We'll play by your rules."

"Okay then." She leaned into his chest uninhibitedly.

"Okay then," he whispered back placing a long lingering kiss on her lips thinking to himself, I never want to lose her.

THE END

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hope you all enjoyed this final installment. I know we started out with male sneezes but it just didn't seem right for me to end the story without jada catching a cold!

If you are interested I could do a sort of spin off! if you want the story to end here, I can start something knew! Let me know your thoughts, suggestions, etc...

P.S. I know this one isn't nearly as climactic as the others! Too many loose ends to tie up!

[sillystarsmoons]

Awwwwww the ending was perfect. I loved the whole story. Your a brilliant writer. I can't wait to see more stories from you in the future.

[Butch]

Fantastic ending! You had me hooked the entire way. I look forward to reading more of your stories.

[bless]

Fantastic ending! You had me hooked the entire way. I look forward to reading more of your stories.

ohh I loved the story from one end to the other. You are marveleus ... making such a good, emotionel and well written story in so short time.

thank you for given this to us. I look forward to your next.

[Ciuty80]

thank you for writing this wonderful story!

[TheCakeIsAlive]

Wow, great ending. Loved reading every installment! Ooh... spin-off sounds great, but so does new story...

[Scion]

Wow, you write long updates! Awesome story. You create interesting characters.

[Butch]

LetMeBe - As I said, wonderful story. Your original fiction rocks. Whether you write a spin-off, or start a completely different story, I look forward to reading it.

[ichixshiro14]

This story has such depth, I enjoyed it every step of the way, even through the tragedies! The ending was perfect, thanks for sharing!

[Aprilcot]

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Definitely not disappointed!

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!

Great finish!