The Adventure Club! (16/?) Updated 3/24/2015

[Blah!?]

[Skyler]

I just read this whole thread through, from start to finish, and I'm surprised that I didn't stop breathing during my laughing fits. My fave characters keep changing - I am so torn! One by one, they all keep growing on me...I love this soooo much! Its nice that this would be great content to read fetish aside, it is so well thought out... And you know what? You just made my bad day the best day ever!

As for my vote? They should start out infected. Defo.

[a red nine]

"Soon."

"Oh rly?"

"Ya rly."

"No wai!"

"Wai."

[Blah!?]

And on that day...

Humanity received a grim reminder...

Why I shouldn't be allowed to handle writing series.

ANYWAY.

The adventure continues, picking up right where we left off after all this time. Brace yourselves for the zombie apocalypse, hosted by the Science club! You guys have waited long enough for this that I won't waste too much of your time. Just let me say that this chapter is quite lengthy, and I really think the series is picking up with a bang.

Let it begin.

-----

This was going to be a weird one. Already it felt more like the setup for some sort of bizarre horror movie than a school contest. Then again, since when was anything at this school normal? Still, I can't say I was comfortable being stuffed into an abandoned warehouse miles away from campus along with all the other clubs that were still in the running. Once everyone arrived, we were herded into a large, open room with five chairs for each club. Before we could even take our seats, a light came on at the head of the room, revealing our hosts for the day: the Science club.

"Good day, ladies and gentlemen," the Science club's leader greeted, stepping forward. The light was a little blinding, but I could tell she was wearing a lab coat, and her messy hair was sticking out in every possible direction. This did little to make me more comfortable.

"My name is Mandy," the Science club leader continued, "and welcome to the zombie apocalypse."

A few people in the audience gasped, but most people kept quiet. Most people except for Andy, who began to applaud furiously until Charlie smacked him on the back of the head. Mandy put her hands on her hips and let out a low, evil-sounding giggle as two of her club members pushed a television up behind her. Once the TV was in place, Mandy's laughing stopped and she clasped her hands together in front of her chest.

"Before we get started, the Club Wars board has informed me that I have to actually explain how this game works rather than letting you all figure it out on your own. I think it's much more fun that way, but I guess I don't really have a choice."

Mandy stepped to one side and the TV blinked to life. The monitor showed some DNA structure I couldn't understand, though no one else in the room seemed to get it either.

"We here in the Science club have spent the past year inventing our own brand-new virus! Don’t worry, there aren't any permanent side-effects and there are only one or two physical symptoms. It's all perfectly legal unless one of you tells the CDC it exists. Here's how it works!"

The DNA sequence was replaced by a cartoony version of Mandy's head. The real Mandy stood next to the TV and leaned one arm on top of it, using her free hand to gesture to various things on the screen.

"As I said before, this virus is not harmful in the long term, but it is highly contagious and it will mess with you a bit."

On the TV screen, a green mist zoomed up the cartoon Mandy's nose and her eyes spun for a second. Then she started to sweat, her eyelids and spiky hair drooping slightly.

"One of the first symptoms you may feel is a slight fever. It's not too bad, but you'll notice it. "

Next, the cartoon Mandy shook violently and her eyes began to glow an evil red. Did I mention the part where this was weird?

"Then, you'll experience heightened adrenaline and stamina. This will enable you to chase down other people who haven't been infected yet."

The image on the screen changed once again. Cartoon Mandy's eyes spun and she began to wobble slowly from side to side.

"Finally, you'll enter a state of total confusion. You'll no longer be able to tell friend from foe, and you'll go after anyone who hasn't been infected yet, including your own club mates."

"What makes you so sure of that?" Charlie interrupted, raising her hand only after she started speaking. Mandy smirked evilly, putting her hands on her hips.

"Because we'll be giving out the cure based on how many people you infect. Unless you want to stay sick for a week, you'd better infect as many people as you can. Any other questions?"

"Can we defend ourselves?" another club member asked from somewhere behind us. I turned to see who it was, but I couldn't pick them out among the masses. Turning forward again, I saw Mandy's club mates appear again, each one holding a large briefcase. The club leader pressed a button on her TV, and after a second of static it changed to show a different scene.

"The Club Wars board also told us we have to discourage you from physical violence. Besides, if you get close enough for fisticuffs, I can guarantee you'll be infected anyway, so don't bother. You can, however, use these."

One of the Science club members stepped forward and opened his briefcase. Inside were four large, chrome-plated handguns and a fifth smaller one. Forget the CDC, call the national guard! Even worse, I finally realized what I was seeing on the TV screen after it changed. There was someone tied to a chair, and after a second I recognized her as that hiker girl we ran into a few days ago, still wearing her bucket hat. What on earth was the Science club up to?

"These are custom-issue BlueBurst stun guns. My own design, even. They're very easy to use, just point and shoot."

On the TV, someone off-camera held up one of the guns and suddenly shot the hiker girl with a ball of bright blue energy. She immediately slumped over, unconscious. A few people in the audience gasped, and I could tell none of us were feeling comfortable. Except for Andy. He obviously couldn't wait to get his hands on one of those things.

"The stun pulse dissipates to ineffectiveness after 20 meters, so you'll have to be pretty close, but they're guaranteed to knock your target out for at least five minutes on contact," Mandy explained, simply glossing over the fact that they had just shown someone being tied to a chair and shot with a presumably untested invention. "Also, each weapon has a built-in heat sink that will last you between eight and twelve shots depending on how quickly you fire."

The video on the TV changed, this time showing someone I recognized more quickly. Hal from the cosplay club was the one tied to the chair this time. I felt bad for the hiker girl, but I wouldn't mind seeing him get shot a few times. Just as before, someone off-camera held up a stun gun. However, rather than only firing once, this time they shot Hal again and again until a red-hot heat sink automatically ejected out of the side of the weapon. Whoever was holding the camera suddenly scrambled to turn it off, but not before showing the heat sink set fire to the wood floor of wherever they had been filming.

"I can't stress enough that these weapons are totally safe!" Mandy explained, holding up her hands. No one believed her, especially after what she said next. "Just don't let a recently ejected heat sink touch you."

As if it would reassure us, the video changed once again to show the hiker girl smiling and giving a peace-sign to the camera. However, Hal was still drooling on the floor behind her. The video feed suddenly cut out before too many people could notice him laying there. Mandy smiled and stepped in front of the TV, giving us a nod.

"Alright, that about does it. Any more questions?"

"Can we get more heat sinks?" asked someone behind me. I didn't even bother looking this time.

"Of course! The Science club and I have already hidden tons of them around the whole complex. Feel free to grab everything you can!"

"When does it, uh, end?" I asked, raising a hand. Mandy smiled and nodded at me.

"This contest is over when there's only one uninfected club member left! So you better stay out of trouble if you want to win!"

On the other side of Charlie, Andy raised his hand. This ought to be good.

"Did I miss the part where you say 'pregnant women and people with heart conditions should not ride this ride'? I like that part."

"Yeah, we don't really go for that around here," Mandy answered, shaking her head. "Are there any more questions, or may we begin?"

"Are you people crazy?" David suddenly blurted, jumping up in his seat. "You can't just infect us with a virus you made yourselves! And then have us shoot each other with laser guns you clearly haven't tested!"

Clearly he was the only good egg among us. Not even Tracy seemed bothered. The thrill of trying out a zombie apocalypse clearly tickled her fancy too much for her to complain about tiny little issues like potentially lethal safety hazards.

"Oh, please don't call me crazy," Mandy said, placing her fingertips on her forehead. "I much prefer 'mad.' Bill, Carl, arm them please."

Without a word, two of the Science club members behind Mandy stepped forward. They distributed their briefcases between the gathered clubs and then returned to their leader's side, giving her a nod. After a few seconds passed in silence, it became clear they weren't going to tell us to open the cases. Growing tired of waiting, Charlie grabbed our briefcase and popped open the locks on either side of the handle. Once she opened it, she, Tracy, David and I grabbed the four larger guns, leaving Andy with the little one. Now that I saw it up close, I realized it was barely larger than his palm. Any minute now and he would start making endowment jokes at his own expense.

"So, uh, this is zombie apocalypse, right?" I asked, looking up at Mandy. I felt my hair stand on end when I saw she was holding a vial containing some strange green substance. She practically answered my question before I even asked it.

"Someone has to be patient zero, no?" Mandy sad, grabbing the vial's cork. She read my mind. In order for this to get going, someone had to start out with the virus. Apparently it was going to be her. As the rest of the clubs experimented with their stun guns, I quietly urged the Adventure club to get a move on. Just as I predicted, Mandy uncorked her vial and inhaled the green vapor inside. She closed her eyes, starting to giggle, and then she hurled the empty vial to the floor. The sound of the vial shattering snapped everyone back to reality just in time for them to catch Mandy's maniacal laugh. She threw back her head, her arms out to her sides, and she cackled like the wicked witch of the west.

The entire warehouse fell silent as Mandy's laughing came to an end. We all watched in some mixture of horror and morbid curiosity as she wrapped her arms around herself and her breathing began to shudder. Mandy lifted her head, and she was still smiling.

"I think that's our cue to leave," Charlie said, nodding to the nearest door. The five of us bolted from our seats, and I could hear at least one of the other clubs doing the same. However, just as we reached the door, I couldn't help but look back to see what was happening. Bill and Carl had returned to Mandy's side, and the head of the mad Science club grabbed one of them, I wasn't sure which.

"Hih... Hiihhh... HI-SHHHIIIIEW!!!"

Without much warning, Mandy let out a loud, shrill sneeze. She sprayed her club mate with a fine, green mist from her nose, and it took me no time at all to know what that meant. Mandy released her club mate, wiped her nose with the back of her wrist, and then she suddenly turned to stare at me. I probably screamed, but I immediately became too focused on getting away to even notice. I backpedaled out the door and slammed it shut.

"What? What happened?" David asked, holding up his stun gun and glancing around. I leaned up against the door to keep it shut, closing my eyes and shaking my head.

"Mandy's infecting the Science club. We should probably get out of here."

"No way!" Andy shouted, waving his tiny gun in the air. "Come on, we can take 'em!"

Suddenly, someone slammed into the door behind me. I threw all my weight against it and by some miracle I managed to keep it closed, but whoever it was kept trying to barge through. Several body slams later I heard Mandy's crazy laughing coming from the other side of the door.

"That's not good," David mumbled, saying exactly what I was thinking. He threw himself against the door next to me, and then the two of us gestured for everyone else to run.

"Go on, move it!" I shouted, waving my hand off toward wherever. Anywhere but here. Tracy and Andy looked like they didn't want to leave us, but Charlie nodded in agreement. She grabbed Tracy and Andy, trying to pull them away, but Mandy and her club mates hurled themselves against the door again, finally bursting it open.

"HII-SHHIEEEEEEW!!!"

Mandy let out another screeching sneeze as David and I fell to the ground. A thin, green mist visibly sprayed out of her nose, making me grit my teeth in a mixture of fear and disgust. I crawled backward as quickly as I could, only realizing afterward that I had dropped my stun gun on the ground. David still had his, and he quickly raised it and fired, having no time to aim. His shot missed Mandy, but he did manage to hit one of the other Science club members behind her.

"Run, Toby!" he shrieked as two more Science club members suddenly grabbed his legs. I figured Mandy would just infect him, but in perhaps the creepiest move I'd seen all day, they suddenly dragged him back into the warehouse and slammed the door, leaving me alone with Mandy.

"Run, Toby," she sneered, clasping her hands together. I crawled backward again, afraid to take my eyes off her even for a second. I already knew if I tried to stand, she'd charge at me. Luckily, rather than approaching, Mandy threw back her head and belted out another round of maniacal laughter. I swallowed, sure this would be the end, but like a bolt out of the blue, someone outside of my vision blasted Mandy into unconsciousness.

"What the-!" I yelped, generally feeling overwhelmed by everything that had happened so far. Finally looking over to the side, I saw Tracy standing at the ready, her stun gun still raised. There was someone else standing behind her too, and I quickly recognized her as Liz, Tracy's friend from the theater club.

"Oh shit, thanks," I breathed, getting back on my feet. Tracy nodded silently, and she and Liz approached to lend me a hand. I glanced back toward the door, but I noticed my stun gun wasn't where I left it. The other Science club members must have taken it when they grabbed David.

"Are you alright," Liz asked, partially hiding herself behind Tracy.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said with a nod, "but I lost my gun."

Without a word, Liz suddenly offered hers up to me.

"You can take mine. I'm a lousy shot."

I graciously accepted Liz's stun gun, giving her a nod as I checked it over. It wasn't any different from the one I had, not that I used it at all. After a second, I noticed Tracy staring at me, so I made eye contact and nodded.

"David?" she asked tersely, nodding to the door.

"They took him," I answered, shaking my head. Liz jumped in pure terror, and I couldn't say I blamed her. This all seemed way too heavy for a mere school competition.

"Where's Charlie and Andy?" I asked, hoping Tracy or Liz might know. They shrugged in unison, but Liz raised an eyebrow and nodded a few seconds later.

"Well, I heard that the Gaming club is taking hostages..."

"For what!?" I blurted, spinning around in a quick circle just to make sure we were still safe and alone. "And how long has this damn game been going on? Didn't we just start? How are they taking hostages already?"

"I don't know!" Liz stammered, hiding behind Tracy again. "That's just what I heard. They always seemed like a shady bunch to me."

I nodded, but before we could come up with any sort of plan, a shrill, girly scream split the air. I could tell it was coming from quite a long way away, but Tracy and I recognized it immediately.

"Must be Andy," I said, glancing to Tracy. She nodded once in silence, and we made our way toward the source of the sound. We never had an opportunity to explore this place before the contest now, but no time like the present. It was a huge, abandoned industrial complex on the outskirts of town. I'd been past it a few times, but I'd never paid it any attention until now. Furthermore, we ran into a grand total of no one during our little walk. Part of me was glad we never had to fight or run, but at the same time it was just damn unsettling.

"Think this is the place?" I asked, staring up at a large building at the edge of the complex. It was twice the size of the one the Science club had briefed us in, and I was a little afraid to see what was inside. Liz shrugged nervously as Tracy scanned the horizon for any sign of other students. Just as before, we were alone. Then, for better or worse, another girlish shriek from inside confirmed we were in the right place. Tracy and I nodded to each other silently, and then we slowly pushed the door open and headed inside.

"Hih-Hih-HIH!"

Tracy's breath began to hitch the instant she inhaled the building's dusty air. Luckily, Liz shoved a finger under her nose in time to stop her from sneezing. Tracy's breath shuddered for a few seconds more, but she began to calm down before too long. Liz took her finger out from under Tracy's nostrils and pressed it to her lips.

"Shh!" Liz scolded, leaning toward her friend. "No sneezing!"

Tracy wrinkled her long nose, but she nodded in acknowledgement. Once everything was under control, we crept deeper into the building. It appeared to be a sawmill or something similar, though given the layout of the building we couldn't see too much of the equipment at once. Eventually, I realized we hadn't heard any screaming since we got into the building. I figured it was probably because whoever was with Andy probably shot him to shut him up, but I couldn't help but wonder if something more sinister had taken place.

"This place is spooky," Liz whispered, shrinking behind Tracy. I shrugged and gave her a sympathetic smile. I'd be lying if I said this place didn't give me the creeps too, but what was the worst that could actually happen to us? I shook my head, trying very hard not to actually think of an answer to that question, and I noticed a staircase heading up to the left. Tapping Tracy on the shoulder, I nodded to the staircase and began to quietly make my way toward it.

"I'm going upstairs," I whispered, putting my foot down on the first step. "If I get caught, you two can keep going." Tracy and Liz nodded in agreement, though the latter seemed much less confident now that we were splitting up. Turning away from the others, I started making my way up the stairs. However, I didn't even get half way before I heard Tracy sneeze out the dust she'd been breathing in.

"Hih-CH!"

I turned back just to make sure they were okay. Liz smacked Tracy on the shoulder and shushed her again, and Tracy nodded apologetically in response. Figuring there wasn't much comfort I could offer them, I turned back to the stairs and continued on. At the top of the staircase I found nothing but empty offices. I debated poking around for cool stuff to take, but it looked like most of the offices had already been ransacked a dozen times over.

Finally, after poking around for a moment, I noticed a light coming from the end of the hall. Staying low and quiet, I crept toward it and found my way to a long catwalk overlooking the building's main work floor. As I took a cautious step onto the catwalk, all of my suspicions were confirmed. This building was definitely a sawmill, and the Gaming club was in fact holding a few hostages. I recognized Dillinger immediately, sitting at what was essentially the head of the room. I'd met him before, but I never knew for sure who the other Gaming club members were.

I ducked back down behind the catwalk's railing, not willing to give up my position just yet. I checked up and down the walkway to make sure I was alone, and then I stole another glance down at the work floor. Another Gaming club member was patrolling around, but I didn't recognize him. I did, however, recognize the girl in the middle of the floor. Thinking back to the first day of club wars, I quickly realized it was the same girl who had been with Andy when they arrived at the campsite. And, as fate would have it, she was with him again. Almost directly below me, Andy and Charlie were tied to a pair of metal beams that reached all the way up to the ceiling. In all honesty I wasn't all that surprised to see Andy captured, but for the life of me I couldn't figure out how they managed to get a hold of Charlie.

"Chocolate rain~! Some stay dry and others feel the pain~!"

Andy's idiotic voice sounded through the building, interrupting my train of thought. I completely forgot what I was thinking about, but luckily the Gaming club girl slapped him across the face, silencing him. Andy shook his head, and then he gave the girl a smirk.

"You're right, that song's a bit old," he said, giving her a nod. The Gaming club girl ignored him, but he was undeterred. "How about something a little newer?"

Even from all the way up here, I could see Charlie roll her eyes as Andy took a deep breath.

"But there's one sound~ That no one knows~ What does the fox say~?Ring-ding-ding-di-"

"The fox says shut the hell up!" Charlie suddenly screamed, silencing Andy again. She hung her head and groaned in despair, clearly more bothered by the fact that she was stuck with him than the fact that she had been captured in the first place.

"Children, please!" the Gaming club girl said, turning her attention to Charlie. "You two really don't get along, do you?" She poked Charlie's nose and quickly drew her hand back. Frowning, Charlie wrinkled and wiggled her nose for a second before the Gaming club girl started to poke her again.

"Wow!" she exclaimed, smushing Charlie's nose with her fingertip. "Your nose is so squishy!"

"I know, right?" Andy chimed in, giving the Gaming club girl a grin. Angered beyond words, Charlie furiously shook her head, escaping the girl's finger for a moment.

"Ahg! Don't touch me!"

"AAAHHHHHH-CHHHIIIIOOOOOOOOO!!!"

A loud and high-pitched sneeze suddenly split the air. The second I heard the sound, I ducked back down behind the catwalk railing, and from there I could clearly see through the metal grate under my feet. Tracy and Liz were hiding behind a pile of crates, but Liz just let out one of her huge sneezes. I'm sure everyone in the building heard it, and the two of them were only seconds away from being found.

"Check it out, Jankowski," Dillinger commanded from the head of the room. The girl with Andy and Charlie nodded, finally taking her attention away from them. Charlie hung her head in a mixture of annoyance and shame, though Andy seemed delighted to have learned his captor's name.

"Jankowski, huh? I like that," he mused, grinning to himself. "Is that your first or last name?"

"Yes," the Gaming club girl responded, making her way toward where Tracy and Liz were hiding. I debated trying to shoot her from the catwalk, but then I remembered the stun guns weren't very effective over long range. Maybe I could have hit her from up here, but if I couldn't, I'd just end up wasting a shot and giving away my position. Closing my eyes, I silently apologized to Tracy and Liz.

The blast of a stun gun snapped my eyes open again and I stared down at the floor below me. I watched through the metal grate as Tracy collapsed on the floor, her gun falling from her hand. Liz cowered in fear, but rather than wasting another shot, Jankowski hauled her to her feet and dragged her over to where Charlie and Andy were tied up. I had no idea where the Gaming club was getting all this rope from, but a moment later, Tracy and Liz were bound as well.

"Nice of you to join us," Andy said, still unfazed. "And just in time for tea."

"Hi Andy," Liz said shyly, looking down at her feet. I couldn't see much of her face from where I was hiding, but it almost looked like she was blushing. I rolled my eyes, but the awkwardness in the air was quickly replaced by tension as Jankowski peeled Tracy's glasses off her face.

"Hey!" Liz, Charlie and Andy all shouted in unison, but Jankowski ignored them. Still very much unconscious, Tracy slumped against her restraints as Jankowski patted her on the head. Giving an evil smirk, the Gaming club girl hurled Tracy's glasses into the far corner of the room, and even from all the way up here I could clearly hear the lenses crack on impact. Charlie seethed angrily, but to my surprise, another stupid grin began to spread across Andy's face. At times like this, that meant he had a plan. I could only hope this one would be stupid enough to work.

"But oh how it feels so real~ Lying here with no one near~"

He was singing again. I was speechless, not that I would have said anything anyway.

"Only you~ And you can hear me~ When I say softly~ Slowly~"

"Will you shut up!?" Charlie barked, but Andy predictably ignored her. However, she and I both noticed the same strange occurrence: Jankowski was subtly swaying back and forth in time with Andy's singing. That was the final piece of the puzzle. Everything made sense, as much as it could with Andy anyway. When I first saw Jankowski a few days ago, I remember thinking she was just as weird as Andy was. He must have thought the same thing, and now he was playing her like a fiddle. Like a stupid, hammy, nonsensical fiddle.

"Hold me closer, Tony Danza~!"

Jankowski's swaying came to an abrupt stop. Even from all the way up here I could see a vein pop in her forehead.

"Count the head lice on the high-wig~!"

"No! Shut up!" Jankowski screamed, attempting to punch Andy in the chest. However, the ropes wrapped around him cushioned the blow, and he just kept going.

"Play Madonna, she's so bla-and~!"

"Stop! You're singing it all wrong!" Jankowski had gone from demanding to pleading in the span of a few seconds. She punched Andy's roped body again, still to no avail.

"You had a visitor toda-ay~!"

Andy finally stopped as Jankowski slapped him across the face again. He laughed, shaking out his head, and then he met her gaze with one of his stupid grins. Just to make things awkward, he licked his lips before speaking again.

"Why not untie me so you can strike me properly?"

I could see the gears turning in Jankowski's head, and I could tell something big was about to go down. I crept farther down the catwalk, heading toward Dillinger's end of the room. By some miracle it didn't seem like the whole Gaming club was even here. Just Dillinger, Jankowski, and whoever was still patrolling around the work floor. It occurred to me that the other two had to be around somewhere, but I hoped they had already been taken by the Science club.

Hearing a heavy rope clatter to the floor, I peeked up over the catwalk railing again. Andy took a step away from the beam he had been tied to, but just as he started to rub his wrists, Jankowski punched him in the chest. He staggered back, hunching over and coughing once.

"Ugh! Jesus, you've got a mean swing," Andy wheezed, pushing himself back up against the beam. As soon as he recovered, he raised a fist and jabbed it toward Jankowski. She held up her hands to cover her face, but Andy pulled his punch at the last second.

"I knew you wouldn't hit a girl," Jankowski sneered, lowering her arms. She reached for her stun gun to put Andy in his place, but a look of sheer terror washed over her when she realized it was gone.

"No, but I might shoot one."

Andy pressed the muzzle of Jankowski's stun gun to her chest and pulled the trigger. In a flash of blue light, the Gaming club girl fell backwards, slumping on top of Tracy. Andy smirked, twirling the stun gun around his finger, and then he shoved Jankowski's unconscious body to the floor.

"Nothing like a little girl-on-girl, huh?"

"Andy, I'm so glad you thought it was appropriate to make that connection," Charlie grumbled, struggling against her ropes. "But would you shut up and UNTIE ME!?"

Unfortunately, Charlie's screaming attracted the attention of the other Gaming club members. Dillinger shot to his feet, and the patrolling guy started making his way toward the prisoners. Andy quickly turned and shot the first Gaming club member to come into view, but his gun suddenly ejected its heat sink, leaving him unarmed. Tracy's confiscated gun was lying on top of some nearby machinery, only a few feet away, but from up in the catwalk I could see Dillinger would get there before Andy could reach the weapon, if he even knew where it was.

"Well, everyone has to die of something."

Oh god, did I really say that out loud? I suppose Andy's recent success inspired me to channel his idiocy, and by now my brain was completely on autopilot. There was a large machine not far away from where I was currently hiding, and without thinking, I propelled myself up over the railing and jumped down onto it. Dillinger must have heard me because he immediately turned and fired. In a total lapse of judgment, I jumped from the top of the machine. I avoided Dillinger's shot, but now I found myself plummeting toward the ground. It wasn't as far as I thought it was going to be, but I could already tell this was going to hurt. I tried to pull off one of those landing rolls you see people do in parkour, but I just wound up slamming into the ground feet-first anyway and slumping onto my face.

"Ow," I groaned, struggling to push myself up.

"Flattering last words," Dillinger mused, leveling his stun gun with me. I heard the sound of a shot, but I was still conscious. Finally regaining some strength, I rolled over to see Dillinger collapsed on the floor, Andy standing behind him with Tracy's gun.

"Nice of you to drop in."

"Will you STOP with the one-liners!?" Charlie bellowed from around the corner. Andy shrugged, stuffing his gun into his inner breast pocket. After getting me back to my feet, we set about untying Charlie and Liz. For the time being we left the unconscious Tracy tied up, if only so we wouldn't have to worry about her falling over, but Liz quickly got to work trying to wake her up.

"Have you guys seen the other two Gaming club members?" I asked, laying out all the weapons we had.

"Nah, it was just the three of them," Andy said, glancing over his shoulder for a second. "We haven't seen the other two anywhere, and Jankowski's gun only had two shots left. I imagine that means they've seen some fighting."

That still wasn't proof that the other two were gone, but hearing that did help me put my mind at ease a little. I distributed a weapon to everyone, keeping one extra for myself. I was going to give an extra one to Liz as well, so she could arm Tracy once she came around, but when I approached her, Tracy already seemed to be showing signs of life.

"I think she's waking up," Liz proclaimed happily, fanning Tracy's face. Shaking her head, Tracy squinted up at her friend, realizing her glasses were gone. She tried to smile, but after a second her long nose started to crinkle up.

"Hihh... Hih-Hih! Hih-CHH!"

Tracy sneezed softly, unexpectedly spraying a noseful of green mist right in Liz's face. I jumped back, knowing what that meant, and I grabbed Andy and Charlie to make sure they saw. Liz staggered back, slumping up against the beam Andy had previously been tied to, but she quickly pushed herself back up and began to lumber toward us.

"What the hell's going on?" Charlie wondered aloud, leveling her gun at Liz. I had no idea how the Science club managed to pull it off, but my mind came to only one logical conclusion.

"Don't ask me how it works, but I think getting knocked out by one of these guns..."

"...Infects you," Charlie muttered, completing my thought. Liz flared her nostrils, about to sneeze, but before she could infect the rest of us, Charlie pulled her trigger. Liz collapsed on the floor, and Andy, Charlie and I slowly backed away.

"So what do we do now?" I asked, holding my weapon at the ready.

"Probably make like a tree and get out of here," Andy responded, nodding to the nearest door.

"We shouldn't leave Tracy," Charlie said, though I could tell she knew there was no safe way for us to bring her along. What we could all agree on was that this building likely wouldn't be safe for very long. Even if the Science club was the only one familiar with the area, that was still a solid five people who would come checking here before too long. Eventually, Charlie relented, being the first one to take a step toward the door. However, before she could open it, I heard a sound that sent a chill running up my spine.

Mandy's maniacal laughter filled the the sawmill. I could tell she was already inside, and chances were the rest of her club was with her. I nodded to the surviving members of the Adventure club and we ran for the door. Andy tore the door open, but instead of finding a path to safety, we were confronted by a mob of infected students. Andy and I opened fire into the crowd, taking most of them down, but Charlie tapped me on the shoulder and nodded to another door.

"Don't waste your shots when we can still run!" she commanded, leading us across the room. I followed closely behind her with Andy only a few steps behind me, but he suddenly fell to the ground. I turned to see Andy push himself up into a sitting position as Jankowski held onto his foot. The stun gun's effect was already starting to wear off, and that meant we only had a few seconds until the rest of the Gaming club woke up again.

"Andy... I... Want..." Jankowski groaned, grabbing a handful of Andy's shirt. He smirked and pressed the barrel of his gun to her forehead.

"That's very nice, thank you very much. Now why don't you make like a tree and get out of here?"

Andy squeezed his trigger, delivering a stun blast to Jankowski's head. He quickly pushed her off and leapt back to his feet, sprinting to catch up with Charlie and me.

"You just said that same thing a few seconds ago," Charlie groaned, ramming the next door open with her shoulder. Andy shrugged as we headed outside, and after a quick glance over our shoulders, we started to run.

"You've got green on you," I observed, pointing to a spot toward the bottom of Andy's shirt. He slowed and stared down at it, throwing his head back and rolling his eyes.

"This was my favorite shirt," he whined, untucking it from his slacks.

"All your shirts are the same!" Charlie growled, continuing to run ahead of us.

"How could you say that? I... I... YASHOO!"

I watched in horror as Andy sprayed out a cloud of green mist. Apparently the infected Jankowski getting close to him was enough to spread the virus. Charlie turned around at the sound of his first sneeze just in time to see him do it again.

"Ergh... YASHOOO!"

Knowing this was the end of his journey, Andy held up his stun gun and then tossed it toward me. I reached down to pick it up, but Charlie grabbed my shoulder and pulled me back. I looked up to see a crowd of over a dozen infected students charging toward us from the sawmill, and Andy was about to become the least of our problems.

"Rule 1?" she asked, slowly turning to run again. I nodded slowly and followed her.

"Agreed. Rule 1: cardio."

Charlie and I took off across the empty field with the infected students in hot pursuit. I didn't dare look back, but I could tell in my gut that they were gaining on us. After all, I remembered Mandy saying the virus would grant boosted adrenaline and stamina. They'd catch us before long if we just kept running. However, Charlie showed no signs of stopping, so I did my best to keep up.

"Hey, aren't we heading for the parking lot?" I asked, starting to recognize some of the scenery. Charlie nodded.

"Yes, yes we are."

"You know we can't leave, right? To leave the appointed contest zone is to forfeit the contest itself!"

"We're not leaving!"

I wasn't totally sure what Charlie was getting at, but as the parking lot came into view, I think I realized her plan. As intense as things were getting, I couldn't help but smile, once again channeling my inner Andy. Charlie's bright green motorcycle stood in the lot with David's right behind it, and once we reached it I was certain we'd make it. Charlie got there first, and she threw David's helmet to me and put on her own as soon as David's left her hand. She straddled her bike and started the engine, and once I strapped my helmet on I climbed aboard behind her. There was barely enough room for me, especially with someone as big as Charlie driving, but I held on for dear life anyway as we took off.

Since we weren't allowed to leave the complex, the only way to go was back into it. We flew down an old, beaten road, Charlie guiding her bike around the corners with ease. The sound of the engine was probably going to attract everyone in the place, but I don't think Charlie planned on stopping to let them catch up. Her plan was probably to keep driving in circles until we were the only ones left.

After a few minutes, there was a sizeable crowd of students following us. We'd always lose them before too long, but they always managed to find us again somewhere farther down the road. One of the Science club members was probably leading them, and as such they'd know every shortcut around the place. Still, everything was going swimmingly until we got about half way around the industrial complex.

The road ahead led into a long, mostly empty building. Charlie kept driving straight through, but she suddenly squeezed the brakes when we were almost at the far end. Somehow, a crowd of infected students got there first, and they were standing shoulder to shoulder to block the exit. As ruthless as Charlie could be, she wasn't about to run them over. She was about to turn us around and head back the way we came when one of the students stepped forward.

"Congratulations!" Mandy said, giggling to herself. Her hair and clothes were messy as hell, only making her look even more crazy. "You three are the last ones left!"

"Three?" Charlie and I asked in unison. Assuming there must have been someone behind us, we turned around to look. Before I could even tell who it was, a bolt of blue light whizzed past my head, catching Charlie in the back. She immediately fell unconscious and keeled over, dragging her motorcycle and me down with her. My head slammed into the ground with a thud, making me very glad I was wearing a helmet. After dragging myself out from under the bike, I quickly jumped to my feet to face my attacker.

"Olivia!?" I stammered, watching the forefront member of the Cheerleading club take a menacing step forward. She pointed her stun gun right at me and I immediately dove out of the way. However, as Olivia began to fire, I realized she had been aiming at Charlie, not me. She shot Charlie's unconscious body three more times, and then she finally turned her gun on me.

"Finally, I've had my revenge!" Olivia screamed up at the ceiling. I raised an eyebrow, tilting my head to the side.

"Revenge for what?" I blurted, genuinely having no idea what she was talking about. Olivia put on a ridiculous-looking scowl and jabbed the pointer finger of her free hand at her eye.

"Nose-picker punched me in the face!" Olivia wailed, sounding like she was about to start crying.

Oh yeah.

That happened.

Before I knew it, the tiniest snort of laughter escaped me. Bad move.

"This is not funny!" Olivia stammered, waving her finger back and forth between Charlie and me. "Do you have any idea how much money I had to spend on makeup to hide the black eye?"

I counted off on my fingers and mouthed a few numbers in mockery of her overblown suffering. Olivia stomped her foot on the ground and leveled her stun gun with me once again. Growing tired of her own evil monologuing, she finally decided to just shoot at me. Once again I leapt out of the way, and Olivia's missed shot sent her weapon's heat sink flying to the ground. I pushed myself back up to my feet, realizing I had dropped my own gun by the motorcycle. Olivia fished a new heat sink out of her pocket as I sprinted for my weapon.

"Say goodbye!" Olivia sneered as she slammed her heat sink home. I glanced up at her, wanting to face my attacker, but I smirked when I saw a pair of hands rising up behind her.

"Goodbye," I chuckled, performing an unnecessary roll to the side just in case Olivia still tried to shoot me. She didn't, and I would up feeling like an idiot. Whatever, you can't win them all. Olivia let out a terrified shriek as Andy spun her around. He held her by the shoulders and gave her a positively evil grin. She very easily could have shot him right then and there, but for whatever reason she decided to drop her gun on the ground. Interesting strategy.

"Hey baby!" Andy screamed, sounding halfway between drunk and dead. "Let's tango!"

"NOOOO!!!" Olivia shrieked as Andy's head started to tip back.

"Egh... YASHOOOO!"

That was it. Olivia was infected, and I was the only one left. Sure, we won, but this was probably the most traumatizing day of the school year. Even worse than the one where that ghost head chased us down a hallway in the basement. I fell to my knees, expecting to be swarmed by a mass of infected students, but they never came. Instead, everyone just turned and left. Tracy and David came out of the woodwork to drag the unconscious Charlie away, leaving me all by myself. I fell on my back, and then, just for dramatic effect, I pretended to cry.

-----

And we're back, ladies and gentlementlemen! I'm technically still busy for now, so it'll probably take me more than a week to get the next part out. That being said, I hope and plan to wrap up the club wars arc by December. I have something special in mind for then...

Next week is the Motorsport club! It's going to be a good, old-fashioned street race, though almost everyone in the club is still sick following the events of this chapter, leaving Toby at the wheel. However, he still has to bring a navigator with him, and that's what's up to you guys.

Who should Toby's navigator be?

• Andy
  
• Charlie
  
• Tracy
  
• David
  

Bear in mind that the four of them are still sick, and even though Toby will only be stuck in the car with one of them, the others will still be available over the radio. Basically who do you want to have around for witty banter?

[Skyler]

Oh my gosh, this was such a good chapter! Really well thought out! Wow...I thoroughly enjoyed myself! My vote is Charlie.

[a red nine]

I'm so glad this story is back on the board again, I missed these dorks dorking it up dork-style. This really was Andy's crowning achievement - I love how he pulls it all together in the end, with music and ridiculousness, as is his way. The part with Charlie riding the motorcycle did have me on edge though. This chapter had a balance of all things good: suspense, action, and obviously humor. This story definitely hones into your ability to mesh multiple elements seamlessly, and makes it a very fun read.

Knowing you and your car knowledge, I get the feeling Toby is going to be a pretty good driver. When it comes to "witty banter" as much as I'd like for Andy to hog the spotlight, I think this past chapter has given him a fair turn. Besides, Charlie's response to Andy's singing reminded me that she's got some good dialogue up her sleeve when she feels like talking. So she's my vote to act as the navigator.

Edited October 7, 2013 by a red nine

[VividBubbles!]

I missed this story. It's so hilarious and all the characters are awesome.

So, I guess I'll be the odd man out and give my vote to David. I mean, we haven't seen much of him in the story, and I feel like he's got some potential to be a great character. Plus, he rides a motorcycle like Charlie so I'd think he'd have more experience with races and stuff like this then, say, Andy would.

[Animeeze]

I vote for Charlie! This part was awesome, your writing style is alwasy top notch, and you always give your characters such personality. I gotta go back and read those middle installments now haha!

[Curiosity234]

Charlie! Charlie has the best banter. Because she has the worst.

[Hissybella]

lol Since everyone loves her big nose, I vote Charlie as well.

[TheCakeIsAlive]

Brilliant. Also, I love the announcement. Naughty science club. xD I really like these club wars and how you describe them.

Also, I'd like to vote for Tracy because she's adorable.

[•.*°•☆. Q .☆•°*.•]

OH GOD THAT WAS INCREDIBLE. :bows down to blah:

also I vote Tracy

[knightinggale]

Andy or charlie!

[Sitruuna]

DAVID

nothing more to say B |

...okay, I lied. Oh god, that was... I don't know. Exiting in a casual way. You know. Great work. o3o

[Hissybella]

Bump

[sauce]

I literally vote for anyone BUT Charlie. ;v;

[MoonDuck]

Charlie

[Bobsuperawesome]

Omg, this TOTALLY reminds me of Haruhi Suzumaya!!! I live Tracy's character the best with Charlies biker friend in second!!! He doesn't appear much, but it's spook adorbs how he gets a little flustered when he cant control his sneezing!!!!!!!!! Tracy is definitely my favorite though, she reminds me of the quiet girl from Haruhi Suzumiya!!

[Bobsuperawesome]

Yeah I really don't want Charlie as the navigator, its what people expect! DAVID DAVID DAVID. It would be so cool because hes barely in the story at all, but it'd be super hot if he had a huge itchy, breathy, sneezing fit and got really embarrassed afterwards!! I'm sorry i just live David!!!! Also, he has maybe more experience than Charlie with Motorcycles, so if he were so navigate with him still being sick he could totally just sneeze...forever...pleease?!?!?!?!!

[Blah!?]

Hold on to your hats, ladies and gents. Because something is about to happen that has not happened for an age.

Yes, nearly an entire year later, it looks like it's about that time again. There's a whole host of reasons why it took me 11 months to write this little, but what matters now is that it's finally behind me. A few different things led to me getting back into my rhythm, one of which will hopefully be quite entertaining to whoever still enjoys this series.

Anyway, I've wasted enough of your time, so I shant take up any more of it.

-----

Charlie, Tracy and I sat awkwardly in our club room, waiting for our other two members to arrive. The Science club wasn't kidding when they said they'd be curing everyone based on how many people they managed to infect. They actually created different variations of their cure for every possible ranking. Nobody was contagious anymore, but almost everyone was still sick. Everyone that is, expect for me. I never even caught the virus, but the rest of the club still looked like shit, relatively speaking.

Tracy looked about ready to collapse and fall asleep. Her large, plush turtle was hugged tightly to her chest, and it seemed to be the only thing keeping her from falling out of her chair. As if to add insult to injury, she was also still waiting on a new pair of glasses after Jankowski broke her old ones. She had to borrow a pair from her mom, and while she could see just fine with them, these glasses didn't fit her terribly well. They slipped down her nose whenever she moved a muscle, and I could tell it was driving her crazy.

"Hih... Hih-Hih! Hih-CHH!"

Sneezing suddenly, Tracy snapped forward, squishing her turtle. Her borrowed glasses slid down her nose until they were barely clinging to the tip. Rather than pushing them back up, Tracy rested the spectacles on her forehead and then planted her face in the back of the fuzzy turtle's shell, letting out a barely audible groan of annoyance.

"You're going to get germs on him, you know," I said teasingly, hoping some interaction would cheer her up.

"Mr Turtle doesn't get sick," Tracy responded, her already quiet voice muffled by the plush toy. I raised an eyebrow and smiled, deciding to play along.

"Oh, that's good. Is it because he has magical powers or something?"

"No," Tracy droned, peeling her face off of the turtle's back. "It's because he's a stuffed animal."

She glared at me angrily, and I held up my hands and tried to look as innocent as I could. Tracy continued to eye me, but after a second her slit-like nostrils began to flare.

"Heeh... Hihh... Hih-CHHH!"

Letting out a strained sneeze, Tracy sent her glasses flying from the top of her head. They clattered to the floor between Charlie and I, though luckily they didn't break this time. I opened my mouth to bless her, but I decided to just keep quiet before I actually said anything. Charlie picked up the spectacles and Tracy snatched them from her hand as she passed. Then, she hurled Mr Turtle to the floor and fell on top of him face-first, apparently deciding to take a nap.

"Don't mind her," Charlie laughed, "she gets grumpy when she's sick."

"No I don't!" Tracy protested, still lying on the floor.

"More talkative too," I mused, giving Charlie a smirk. She smiled back, but Tracy was less amused. Without even picking her face up out of her stuffed animal, she scooted into the corner of the room to get away from us. Charlie and I watched in silence, and then we simultaneously raised our eyebrows and turned back to each other.

"So, where's Andy?" I asked, feeling a little concerned. He was the only one of us with a car, so unfortunately we were kind of counting on him. Charlie shrugged, rolling her eyes and wiping her nose with a folded tissue. Afterward, she dropped it on the floor, adding to the small ocean of damp paper under her chair.

"I have no idea," she groaned, sounding congested but composed. "He's probably-"

Charlie was cut off as her phone suddenly buzzed once. She fished it out of her pocket to find she had received a text message from Andy. Shaking her head, Charlie unlocked her phone and silently read the message to herself.

"It's from him," she groaned, shaking her head a second time.

"What'd he say?" I asked, standing up from my chair. Charlie stood up with me and headed over to the far side of the room.

"He just said 'look out the window.' He's probably down there doing something stupid."

Charlie and I stood up against the club room's largest window. It gave us a nice view of the school's main parking lot, and each of the remaining clubs had already lined up their vehicles for the race. Almost all of them were unassuming, the one belonging to the Motorsport club being the only one that looked race-ready. The absurd enormity of its spoiler struck me as a little odd, but I'm sure it was still more than a match for everyone else's mundane cars. Anyway, what really started to bother me was that even after staring out the window for a good few minutes, I still didn't see Andy's car anywhere in the parking lot.

"Where the frak is he?" Charlie grumbled, slumping her forehead up against the window. She sniffed loudly and fished a fresh tissue out of the box she insisted on carrying around, wiping her nose again as we headed for the door. Already Charlie was getting frustrated. If Andy was dicking around down there, she'd kill him. If he wasn't, she'd make him wish he was dead.

After reaching the parking lot, Charlie and I immediately began to search for Andy. It briefly occurred to me that he wasn't even here yet and he was just making us waste our time, but then I remembered this was Andy. He wouldn't mess with us like that unless he was around to see our reactions.

"He's not here," Charlie groaned, placing her palm over her face. She and I sighed collectively, but at that precise moment I realized we were standing behind a car I hadn't noticed before. It wasn't nearly as flamboyant as the Motorsport club's car, probably why I never saw it until now, but now that I did, it certainly had my attention. A dark gray, old-fashioned sports car sat at the end of the row, and my eyes were immediately drawn to the winged badge in the middle of its rear.

"Greetings programs!" Andy greeted, emerging from the car's right-side door. He gave Charlie and I the biggest shit-eating grin I'd ever seen, and for him, that was really saying something. Charlie narrowed her eyes and stared at him suspiciously.

"Which local senior citizen is going to be in the obituaries tomorrow?" she asked, folding her arms. "Because clearly you killed someone and stole this from them."

"Oh, I didn't steal it," Andy said, gently patting the roof of the vehicle. "And how dare you imply this is an old person car? I'll have you know it's my grandfather's!"

"So it is literally an old person car."

"Okay, fine. But that information is strictly For Your Eyes Only! We're supposed to be driving our own cars!"

"So why aren't we using your car then?" Charlie demanded, jabbing a finger at him.

"Because we need a competitive edge," Andy answered, leaning against the roof of the car. "Did nobody else do the reading? It's in the rules, the owner of the car isn't allowed to drive it, and since I'm the only one of us who actually has a car, I can't be the one driving. My car's great and all, but to have a shot in this one, we need either a better driver or a better car. Since a better driver's out of the question..."

"Okay, okay, I get it," Charlie groaned, resting her forehead in one hand.

"Great!" Andy said, clapping his hands together. "Now, who knows how to drive stick?"

Charlie and I stared at him for a moment, neither of us quite sure how to respond.

"Well, I sure as shit don't," Charlie said, rolling her eyes. "Not in a car, anyway."

"I vaguely remember you trying to teach me a while ago," I said, lazily raising a hand. Andy smiled and nodded, folding his arms proudly.

"Yeah! I think you got the hang of it, sort of."

"Andy, I don't think you understand," I said, putting my hands on his shoulders in desperation. "Maybe I can drive your fancy car, but I don't think I can win a race. Hopefully I can just keep us from getting eliminated."

"Unsatisfactory," Andy pouted, shaking me off. "If you're not first, you're last!"

"That's encouraging," Charlie groaned, leaning against the roof of Andy's car.

"But, at the same time, it doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning," Andy continued with a smirk. Now it was his turn to put an arm on my shoulder.

"Whoa, duuuuude," came an unfamiliar voice. Andy and I looked up to find two infamous members of the motorsport club admiring our vehicle. I didn't know most of their club, but the entire school was acquainted with their front man, Ted. With messy blond hair and a tan that could survive the ice age, he was the surfiest surfer who ever did surf.

"Sweet ride, duuuude," Ted continued, putting his hands on his hips and leaning over Andy's car.

"Why thank you, duuuude," Andy responded. As lame as it sounded when Ted said it, Andy managed to make it even worse.

"Too bad you're still no match for us," Ted's club member added, folding his arms and smirking almost as hugely as Andy could. "You're not... Strong enough."

"What makes you so sure of that?" Andy asked, folding his arms and smirking in kind.

"We're fully prepared to repel your British invasion, duuuuude," Ted explained, gesturing back to their car. Most of it was hidden behind the other clubs' vehicles, though I could still clearly see the gigantic spoiler protruding above all else.

"YASHOO!" Andy suddenly sneezed, nearly spraying Ted and his cohort.

"Besides, it sounds like you're too sick to drive, duuuude," Ted smirked, waving a hand at Andy. "And even if you weren't it's against the rules to drive your own car, duude."

"He's not driving, I am," I butted in, getting sick of Ted's constant dudery. "Andy, give me your keys."

"In a sec," he said, turning back to the car. "I'm coming with you, right?"

"Dude, just..." I stopped, realizing I'd said it too. The use of 'dude' was becoming more contagious than the Science club's virus. Andy pouted, sticking his lower lip out so far it almost hit me. Before either one of us could say another word, Charlie suddenly opened the passenger door.

"The rules of this particular contest state that the car each club uses must be owned by a member of that particular club, but the owner of the vehicle may be neither the driver nor navigator," she said, sounding like she was reciting the thing perfectly from memory.

"Right you are, my lady," said Ted's subordinate. He moved to gently take Charlie's hand, but she quickly pulled it out of his reach. "My name is Rudy, by the way. Pleasure to make your acquaintance."

Charlie ignored him, rolling her eyes. A recitation of the rules was all it took for Andy to toss me his keys, but then he gave me a rather serious glare.

"Not a scratch?" he asked, brushing off one shoulder.

"Not a scratch."

With that, Andy departed. With nothing else to say to Ted or Rudy, I slipped into the driver's seat. The center of the steering wheel displayed the same elegant, winged badge I'd seen on the rear, and I could very easily tell that there were no airbags to speak of. Such was the wild world of the 80s, I suppose.

The more I looked at the interior, the more familiar I felt with the vehicle. Eventually I remembered that this wasn't my first time inside. I'd been in it at least once before, probably nearly eight years ago when Andy's grandfather took us to see a movie. Once I made that connection, the memories came flooding back.

"1986, Aston Martin, V8 Vantage..." I murmured to myself, placing my left hand on the stick shift. I could barely drive stick with my right hand, so I could tell this was going to take some getting used to.

"Huhh... HUAA-KNNNnuhh...!"

One of Charlie's loud, explosive sneezes made me jump in my seat. My head snapped to the left, instinctively looking toward the source of the sound, and I was somewhere between surprised and totally not surprised at all to see Rudy holding out a lace handkerchief.

"Bless you, my lady," he offered, bowing his head. Charlie wiped her nose on her forearm and shooed him away.

"Eugh, don't call me that," she groaned, lowering herself into the car beside me. Charlie slammed her door shut before Rudy could offer to close it for her, and then she let out an irritated sigh, closing her eyes.

"I don't know how much use I'm going to be," she confessed, massaging her temples. I almost wanted to pat her on the shoulder, but I probably wouldn't ever see my hand again if I did.

"Don't worry about it," I said, slipping the keys into the ignition. "We don't have to win. We just have to make sure we don't come in last. Then we'll be all set."

"If you say so. Huh... Huhhh... HUA-KNNNNhh!"

Charlie's sneezes were starting to get a little messy. That last one left a little string of snot hanging out of her left nostril. She snorted it back up like she always did, but I was glad I noticed a tissue box on the back seat. I quickly grabbed it and handed it to Charlie, who graciously took it and held it on her lap.

"Thanks," she mumbled, almost as if she didn't even want me to hear her. Deciding not to bug Charlie any more, I turned the key and started the car. The engine came to life with the most wonderful sound, and I couldn't help but close my eyes and drum my fingers on the steering wheel. But then...

"Uh, are you going to go?" grumbled Charlie, gesturing out her window. I stared in wide-eyed shock as I saw that all the other clubs' cars were already pulling out into the street.

"What!?" I stammered, slapping my left hand onto the stick shift. "When did this happen!? Who told us to go!? And how the hell did I miss it!?"

Knowing there was nothing more I could say, I tried to get us going. 'Tried' being the operative word. Andy wasn't lying when he said he'd given me some lessons in driving stick, but that was a long time ago. I tried to put the car in first as gently as I could, but I only succeeded in sending us lurching forward a few inches and stalling out.

"Oops," I mumbled, twisting the keys back in the ignition to try again.

"What do you mean 'oops'?" grunted Charlie, rubbing her nose. I shrugged in exasperation, staring the engine again.

"Some jerk put this... Uh..."

"Don't say oops."

"What do you say we try that again?"

"Yes, yes. Yes. Without the oops. Thataway..."

With a bit of concentration and heavy breathing, I managed to get us into first gear properly. Then, despite our rocky start, things were going pretty smoothly. I actually managed to pass by a few of the other clubs without much difficulty. Upon further examination of the rules, it didn't take us long to figure out why.

This entire contest in particular felt a bit like a good-natured cheat. The only reason the Motorsport club imposed that "you can't drive your own car" rule was because it basically guaranteed they would win. All of them had decent cars, and all of them knew how to drive. Any combination of vehicles and crew members gave them an edge over the rest of us. Everyone else must have known this too, as it was pretty obvious nobody was even trying to catch up to them. I would have said they were all just trying not to be in last place, but in many cases it didn't even look like they were trying that hard.

"Huh... Huhhh... HAA-KNNNXx!"

Hearing Charlie's breath start to heave, I quickly glanced at her to see her clamp a tissue over her nose just in time to catch a loud sneeze. She groaned, wiping the tissue back and forth under her nostrils, and then she muttered something unintelligible but clearly frustrated as she crumpled up the damp paper.

"Why don't you just blow your nose?" I asked before I could stop myself. The instant the words left my mouth, I expected to feel a fist connecting with my face, but luckily it never came. Instead, I simply heard an exasperated sigh.

"Since we're alone, can I..." Charlie mumbled, forcibly avoiding eye contact with me. "Can I let you in on a little secret?"

Where the heck was this coming from? I shrugged, seeing no harm in it if it was her decision.

"I mean, sure. If you want to."

Charlie took a deep breath and sighed. It was going to take her a little while to build up enough momentum to say what she wanted to say. I kept looking over to make sure she was alright, and every time she still turned away. I swear I caught her blushing, but as always I wasn't about to say anything.

"I can't blow my nose," she blurted a moment later. After all that buildup, this was not at all what I was expecting.

"You... Can't?"

"I don't know how!"

"Didn't your parents ever teach you or anything?"

"My mom did. Well, she tried, anyway, when I was little. I could only ever do it when she held the tissue for me. And I'm too old for that now, so I just don't bother."

It was strange to see Charlie acting so vulnerable over something that, to me at least, seemed so menial. She looked completely humiliated, and that was enough for us to make an unspoken agreement that this conversation would never leave this car. In a weird way, it felt kind of nice that she trusted me enough to tell me.

"Well, we've got plenty of tissues," I commented, gesturing vaguely at the box. "No harm in giving it another try."

"It won't work," Charlie grunted, rubbing the side of her hand under her nose.

"Not with that attitude, it won't," I teased, trying to lift her spirits.

"Don't talk to me about attitude!" Charlie shot back, startling me a little. "Attitude has nothing to do with it!"

We passed by a couple other clubs in silence. None of them even tried to block me or catch up afterward. It really seemed like nobody else cared.

"Hey," Charlie spoke up, her voice much softer than usual. I glanced over to find her looking me right in the eye. That meant she was feeling very serious about something. She plucked a tissue from her box and gently held it over her nose.

"Promise you won't tell anyone, okay?" she pleaded quietly. The rest of the club and I already knew Charlie was a big softie on the inside, but it was still strange that she was willingly showing me that side of herself. But hey, that's what we did. We always had each other's backs.

"I promise," I answered, sincerely as I could. Charlie sighed with relief and sank back into her seat, still holding the tissue over her nose. A minute passed and nothing happened.

"It's okay, go ahea-"

"Just give me a minute!"

"Okay!"

Charlie sighed a second time, and then she took a deep breath through her mouth. Gently squeezing her nose with her tissue, she tried her hardest to blow. What followed sounded more like somebody doing a half-assed impression of an elephant than any nose blowing I'd ever heard before in my life.

"Huh... Huhhh... Huhhhhh-! HUAA-KNNNNX!!!"

Charlie's attempt at blowing her nose only succeeded in making her sneeze. She furiously rubbed her used tissue back and forth against her nostrils, cleaning up anything that might have been expelled.

"See? I told you it wouldn't work! It just tickles my nose and I hate it!"

I let her fume in silence for a moment, but again she decided to confide in me.

"Thanks for putting up with all that. That was probably pretty weird for you."

Well, it was. But I couldn't tell her that. I just didn't have it in me.

"Don't worry about it. I'm... Glad we... Glad we had this talk."

Good job, Toby. That totally wasn't a completely stupid thing to say. I stole a glance at Charlie to make sure she didn't think I was being completely insane, and to my surprise it looked like she was starting to fall asleep. Her mouth drooped open and she let out half a snore, but then her phone suddenly started to buzz.

"Jesus!" Charlie yelped, jumping in her seat. She thrashed around under her seatbelt for a second and frantically dug her phone out of her pocket. Still breathing heavily, she answered the call and held the phone up to her ear.

"What!? What do you want!?"

"YASHOO!"

I heard Andy sneeze through the phone, loudly enough to make Charlie hold it away from her ear. Before Andy could say anything else, Charlie turned on speakerphone and set the device down on the center console.

"Hey," Andy began, "you guys notice how nobody's really trying?"

"Yeah," Charlie and I answered in unison.

"Well, that's because the Science club was a no-show. They were going to lose by default as long as everyone else finishes the race."

"What do you mean, 'was' a no-show?" I asked, feeling a bit worried. I began to check the rearview mirror compulsively while Andy replied.

"That's what I'm getting to. See, Mandy apparently built some kind of crazy science car, which is why they were late, but now they're here and they're taking the race by storm."

"So?" I muttered back. "We're still not going to come in last place. We're fine. Besides, I think we're actually in second now."

"Didn't you hear what I said before!?" bellowed Andy, making the phone's speaker buzz. "If you're not first, you're last!"

"Andy, shut up," groaned Charlie, pinching the bridge of her nose. We didn't hang up just in case he happened to have more useful news, but from there we started ignoring him. Sure enough, after rounding a corner the Motorsport club's tail lights came into view. Feeling overly courageous, I put my foot down and closed some of the distance. I never quite got ahead of them, but the way they smiled and waved told me they were actually pretty impressed that we caught up with them.

Aaaand that's when I noticed a set of purple headlights slide into the rearview mirror. The Science club's science car didn't seem to be going any faster than normal at first, but once it joined us on our current straightaway, it suddenly shot forward at blinding speed.

"What the hell!? Are you seeing this?" I stammered, trying my hardest to speed up. It was difficult dividing my attention between everything that was going on; trying to go faster, the rapidly approaching Science club, and the Motorsport club starting to pull ahead again.

"What? What happened?" asked Andy through the phone. "Did they catch up with you?"

"You bet your ass," I said through gritted teeth, trying to decide whether I should block them or let them pass. Both options seemed equally unpredictable. Before I could make up my mind, the science car quickly wove between us and the Motorsport club's car. I could have sworn it said "Rated M for Mandy" on the side in fancy purple lettering, but that would just be absurd. Which is probably why it was actually true... As if that wasn't bad enough, they appeared to be spraying something on the road behind them. Twenty bucks says oil slick, but that's a sucker's bet if I ever did see one.

"Shit, shit, shit!" I screamed, starting to panic. In fact, forget "starting." I'd been panicking for a while now. The tires were slipping out from underneath us, and if I wasn't careful we'd end up turning ourselves into a modern art masterpiece on the side of the road. I knew it wasn't the right thing to do, but I wound up slamming on the brakes as hard as I could. I tried to shift into neutral, but in my panic I forgot to hit the clutch pedal.

From there, this whole thing played out like a true series of unfortunate events. I managed to keep the car on the road, but we spun out anyway. As I tried to force it into neutral, it felt like something exploded underneath me. The sound of metal clattering out on the road behind us was all the confirmation I needed that I just broke something expensive. In the end, I'm not sure if it was good luck or bad luck that we finally came to a stop less than three feet away from the equally spun-out Motorsport club's car.

"Duuuuude," murmured Ted as he climbed out of his vehicle. "That was a totally bogus wipeout for both of us, brah."

I stumbled out of the car, falling to my hands and knees until I regained my balance. Rudy leapt out of the other car and rushed to the Aston's passenger door to help Charlie, as if she needed any assistance.

"Are you alright, my lady?" he asked, opening the door for her. Charlie stubbornly chose to remain in the car, if only out of spite.

"I think I broke something," I groaned, shakily returning to my feet. A concerned stare from Charlie and the others let me know I should have worded that better.

"On the car, I mean."

Ted knelt down beside the Aston and peered underneath. Then, he followed the trail of shredded metal a few paces back before returning to the group. Putting his hands on his hips, he sighed and shook his head.

"Looks like you totally thrashed your tranny, duuuude. First gear's laying in the middle of the road back there," Ted explained, basically giving us a death sentence. "Those Science club guys are a bunch of shoobies, brah. I'd totally stick around and help, but we still need to win this race. Bummer, duuudes."

Rudy knelt down beside our open passenger door as Ted returned to their car. Extending a hand to Charlie, Rudy gave his farewell.

"I would gladly offer my services as well, my lady, but sadly there is no time to be spared. I hope to see you at the finish line before-"

Charlie grabbed the inside handle of her door and pulled it shut in frustration. Not that I could blame her; we were basically screwed at this point, and Rudy being annoying was just another bit of extra shit that we really didn't need. It didn't last long, however, and soon Ted and Rudy disappeared into the distance once more.

"Hey," Andy spoke up from Charlie's phone, reminding us that we completely forgot to hang up on him. "What happened? Did you guys die?"

"Andy, the transmission's gone," I grumbled, out of patience for his shenanigans. The line was silent for a few seconds.

"Wait, what do you mean 'gone'? What happened to 'not a scratch'?"

"Yeah, well, that's off the table now. First gear blew up and it's all over the pavement."

I heard a sharp intake of breath, and a moment later what sounded like hysterical sobbing. Still, our phone call remained uninterrupted, albeit silent. Charlie and I glanced at each other, and I don't know about her, but I was actually feeling a little disappointed. I mean, we didn't survive some crazed zombie apocalypse just to drop out on a technicality now.

"Heh... HEISHHH!"

Somebody on the other end of the phone line suddenly sneezed. I didn't sound like Andy or Tracy though, and the fact that everyone involved in Club Wars was still at least a little sick from last time didn't narrow things down at all.

"Sorry. Uh... Hello? This is David."

Maybe we had a shot at this after all. I almost picked the phone up before remembering it was still on speaker.

"Hey, David. What's up?" I asked, hoping he had something for us.

"Yeah, so, uh... When you say the transmission is 'gone,' do you mean like gone gone? Or like..."

"Most of it's still there," I answered, nervously biting my lip. "I think, anyway. The Motorsport guys told us we just lost first gear."

"Alright, I might be able to help you out then."

Charlie and I both breathed a sigh of relief. If we could just hold on and not come in last, we'd at the very least be able to keep competing in Club Wars.

"You know the drill, start her up in neutral," David instructed, and I did as I was told. Once the engine was rumbling again, he moved on to the hard part.

"Okay, now, if you're very careful and gentle with it, you should be able to skip first gear entirely and start directly in second gear from a dead stop."

"That's it?" I asked incredulously. Naturally that wouldn't be the easiest thing in the world, but I was surprised it was something even that simple. David assured me that all I had to do was keep a up a decent speed and we'd be just fine.

Moment of truth, people. I wrapped my left hand around the gear shift and hovered my left foot above the clutch pedal. Closing my eyes, I let out a calming sigh.

"Huhh... HUAA-KNNNnuhh...!"

Charlie suddenly sneezed again, interrupting my calm. I repeated my zen process, and after another minute I was ready again.

"What do you need?" I murmured to myself. I wasn't even consciously aware that I said it until later. Then, it came to me. I knew what I had to do. I pulled the stick into second gear, and then I eased off of the clutch and onto the gas as gently as I could. It was a slow start, probably mostly because I was being overly cautious, but before long we were rolling again. I even managed to get us back up to normal road speeds, and from there none of the trailing clubs caught up with us.

"Did you just say the thing from Spee-" Charlie tried to ask, but I compulsively cut her off.

"No, no I did not. Want to listen to the radio? Okay, cool. Let's listen to the radio."

I flicked the radio on and scanned around for a channel with good reception. By no small measure of luck, we stumbled right onto the beginning of Kyrie by Mr. Mister. Charlie and I bobbed our heads to the beat in silence, and a moment later I happened to look over and see her mouthing along with the first verse. When she looked back at me, I noticed I'd been doing it too. Smiling at each other, we cranked up the volume and sang along with the rest of the song.

"Kyrie eleison, down the road that I must travel~! Kyrie eleison, through the darkness of the night~!"

I realized a moment later that we completely lost track of how far we'd gone. We only had maybe two minutes left before we arrived back at the school. Instead of stopping the car and getting out, I put it back in neutral and Charlie and I finished the rest of the song as the other members of our club congregated around us. Neither I nor Charlie were particularly interested in talking with any of them for now.

Afterward I remembered that Charlie's phone was still connected with Andy's so the rest of them could have very easily listened in on our little singalong. Still, I don't think any of us really cared. We'd done weirder stuff together before.

Best of all, everything turned out okay in the end. We still came in third place, but at least it wasn't last. Plus, the Science club actually wound up having their science car confiscated and their entire club was disqualified. I guess the faculty finally found out what really happened during their contest.

Andy's grandfather pretended to be mad about the destroyed transmission, but he quickly admitted that he knew it was on its last legs. He was mostly just looking for a reason to fork over the cash to finally have it replaced. After having the transmission completely rebuilt, he actually left the car to Andy in full, citing some crazed variation of "you break it, you bought it." A little part of me wished I'd gotten it, but I guess maybe it was for the best that I didn't.

In the end, today really played out like a comedy of errors. Everything that could have gone wrong absolutely did go wrong, and everything generally sucked way more than it should have. But hey, nobody got hurt. Well, maybe somebody got hurt, but nobody we knew. With any luck, the remaining Club Wars contests would be a little less dangerous.

Knock on wood.

-----

Now, I hope that satisfies everyone as a reintroduction to this series. If it turns out that all my loyal fans have run off to greener pastures, I can't say I would really blame them. Still, I hope at least a couple of them stuck around.

Anyway, up next is the Theater Club's contest, in which two members from each club have to put on a short play or sketch. For those who are new and those who may have forgotten the drill, this means it's reader participation time! For this particular chapter, all you have to do is pick the two members of The Adventure Club who you'd like to see perform. I'll probably handle this vote similarly to how I handled the Cosplay chapter: I'll pick the two club members who individually have the most votes as opposed to any particular pairing.

However...

In light of further developments (which will remain secret for now...) it's probably going to be a little while until the next chapter gets posted. Don't worry, you'll all find out soon enough. Look to my coming at first light on the ninth day. At dawn, look to the east...

[Pilgrim]

Haha what an adorable surprise in there. Stretched credibility but it was cute enough I'm fine with it.

Charlie and Traci! They never get paired up >.>

[Curiosity234]

Charlie and Andy, because it would be hilarious if he freaked out when she inevitably sneezed all over him during the play.

[Oolia]

Tracy and Andy, because Tracy is weird and never talks, and Andy is the exact opposite, so I want to see how this will go Plus, Tracy was barely in this last episode!

[MoonDuck]

It's alive! I'd like to see Tracy, then either Toby or Charlie.

[a red nine]

Aww man, this was such a nice way to catch up with the Venturers again! Charlie and Toby's scene together in the car was nice, it's good to see that they can still learn new things together with their friendship and it was also pretty funny that Charlie was being so covert about her 'secret.' As always, Andy was hysterical but ouch... his car. Poor car. Ted and Rudy are also characters I hope at least make guest appearances in the future (especially Ted. 90s to the max). My guess is they will find a time, as Club Wars is still ongoing. Tracy didn't get much screen time, which makes me think the next chapter (I almost said episode) is going to showcase more of her. For now I can only assume that she still crashed over with the turtle to her face. I think that is a fairly fair assumption anyhow.

SO characters to perform a skit, huh? Who has the best dynamic... If Charlie and Tracy worked together, they would probably have fun with it and be pretty cute too. If Tracy and Toby worked together, it might also be cute, but they're both on the quieter side so it would could be funny/awkward too. If Toby and Andy worked together it would be... well pretty much like it always is, but in skit form. If Andy and Charlie worked together it would... that sounds dangerous lol. If Charlie and Toby worked together, we'd get a repeat of this chapter, which would be great too but we I think we can push the envelope.

Soooooo if we put Tracy and Andy together, there's a possibility we'll get a repeat of herpes-glitter from the weeaboo cosplay chapter and that. That would be amazing. So I'm gonna go with Tracy and Andy and hope for the best.