Let this be a lesson to you all!

[Anonymouse]

Warning: THIS WAS DISGUSTING AND I AM STILL SHAKING.

I left a can of diet ginger ale on the ground despite my fiance telling me not to because we have a lot of freaky bugs scurrying around here. Despite these warnings I continue to leave cans and other drinks on the ground next to the couch while I'm on it because we don't have a coffee table. I also didn't think bugs were THAT stupid to actually scale the side of a can and plunge through the hole into an acidic liquid.

But I was wrong.

I'm working from home at the moment so I get to lay on the couch and work on my laptop in my pajamas. I had a can of diet ginger ale within arms' reach on the ground and I was periodically taking sips from it with my eyes glued to the screen.

You can probably see where this is going. I'm giving you guys ample time to stop reading if you don't want to experience what is just comparably a tiny shred of the horror I just endured.

I'm just a couple of sips in when I feel something weird on my lip. You know how sometimes when you rip the tabs off the can it leaves little jagged parts in the aluminum? I thought that's what it was, even though I didn't tear the tab off all the way, and I looked down to investigate.

There was a pair of MOTHERFUCKING PINCHERS peeking out of the hole!

I'm literally still shaking. That thing TOUCHED MY MOUTH and if I hadn't felt it I would have swallowed it! I spat out the sip I had taken and slammed the can down on the ground, watching in horror as the pinchers slowly retreated into the depths of the can.

I sat there making obnoxious whimpering sounds for a while as my cat looked on nonchalantly (probably thinking "Mellow out, I eat those fuckers all the time.") Then I picked up the can slowly and proceeded to carry it to the bathroom as if it were an atomic bomb. I kept expecting to see the bug pop out, but it didn't. I dumped the ginger ale into the toilet slowly, and when the bug didn't come out I threw the entire can in and started mashing it down into the water with the toilet brush. Still it didn't come out, even after the can filled and emptied several times.

Finally it popped out. This fucker right here (not an actual photograph of the bug in question but its equally hideous brother or cousin or something). That thing's BUTT TOUCHED MY LIPS. He seemed to be dead. Just to be safe I squirted it with toilet cleaner, then flushed and leapt back from the toilet.

This happened maybe twenty minutes ago and I'm still shaking. As I washed my hands after the ordeal I sang softly to myself. That's how traumatized I was. I'm surprised I'm not in the fetal position right now.

I know people eat bugs all over the world, but seriously.

There's also the possibility, however slight, that the bug was ALREADY IN THE CAN. I know it's unlikely but it's enough to make me swear off canned beverages for good.

*continues weeping*

[Purple]

Oh my gaaaaahd. ;_____;

you have every right to weep and be traumatized.

Ahhhhhh that's like my worst fear. And...and pinchers.... :hugs you and cries softly:

[murphy dee]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

[_Daisy_]

That is horrifying. I can't even...just...AGHHH.

[snuffle-bunny]

Aargh, that's horrible!!! *hugs*

[Joal 555]

I had to stop reading this.......

*covers eyes and returns to "new content" as swiftly as possible*

[The Dead One]

This was actually quite entertaining. LOL

[Anonymouse]

This was actually quite entertaining. LOL

A lot of people seem to agree with you. I posted the abridged version on Facebook I kept getting notifications that my friends were liking it! Those bastards.

I should make a horror movie based on my experience.

[March Hare]

Yeah, you totally should. I'm sorry you had to go through such a horrifying experience (no sarcasm, honest!) but the fact remains that you're a good writer and this makes a good story. I'm sort of with Dead One here.

[doggo]

Holy fucking YUCK, but you wrote that story damn well!

[Heavy-Chevy]

Jesus Christ on a cracker that sounds horrifying!!!! I once found one of those tiny house centipedes crawling around on my bed and that scared the hell out of me but this definitely takes the cake. It sucks that happened to you but, like everyone else said, you wrote about it pretty well.

[Kramfors]

Wow

[Squadilah]

I would have drunk it anyway (I'm being serious). If the earwig got in my mouth I would have spat it out and continued drinking.

[smmoct3]

The Attack of the Pinchers coming to theaters near you!

Gosh that is awful. I wouldn't be able to sleep if I were you! :(

[March Hare]

Let me tell you the story of how I once took a swig from a beer bottle that someone had used as an ashtray.

...Well, that's it, really. That's the story. Someone's butt touched my tongue that day, ladies and gentlemen.

[SomethingClever]

Earwigs are seriously some of the worst things that exist. I feel your pain. (I found one in a dollhouse once and I may be traumatized forever and it didn't even touch my mouth )

[YoriYori]

Nasty. It's totally ok to be freaked out.

When I was a kid I poured a pouch drink into one of those cool plastic cups that has the straw attached to it. Now, as the cup is clear you would think I'd be able to see anything. But I didn't. I was drinking when I suddenly felt something that reminded me of soggy bread in my mouth. I thought, there shouldn't be soggy bread in my drink... so I spit it out... and it was an earwig. It didn't just touch my mouth. It was riding around in my mouth! I haven't had one of those pouch drinks since.

[ilikesneezes2000]

This thread is making me queasy.

Same here lol! I can't stand bugs, I don't know why I continued reading this :l

[Anonymouse]

I deny all responsibility. I gave you all fair warning!

[42686]

freaking disgusting.

i found one of those things in my salad at a restaurant one time.

[Mslovesroses]

Buy a coffee table. Just do it....

*starts looking around self for bugs* omgomgomgomgogmggmomgogmg..........

[SapphiraNN]

Omg eww!! This sounds like a nightmare I'd have.

[Xds9075]

Thats awful! I would have died!!!! Now I am always going to be checking my soda cans!

[Lynne]

I had an earwig crawl up the front of my shorts once when I was working in the garden. LAST TIME I EVER GARDENED IN SHORTS, LET ME TELL YOU.

I do NOT like creepy crawlies. Especially NOT on my body!

[Anonymouse]

Update on the creepy crawlies with whom I reluctantly cohabit: I just saw THE BIGGEST FUCKING SPIDER running across one of the doors. It was a good three or four inches in diameter, legs included. FAST motherfucker, too. I just spent the past five minute square dancing with it while I tried to garner the courage to smash it into the ground with my running shoe. I hate having to kill things but I don't know if that sucker's poisonous or not and I'm not taking any chances.

Ugh we really need to move out of the boondocks. I don't even know how I manage to sleep every night knowing these things could be crawling on me.