Confessions!

[Stimuli]

So, dear sff, I wish to hear your confessions, what have you done that is naughty, stupid, sneaky, tricky or outright borderline (or even past that) illegal? Cleanse your heart!

I shall begin, to set an example: I was out on a walk with my lady one summer night, when (god this sounds fake due to my usage of language but it is in fact true) I heard a girl (probably of my age) calling for her father in a "ugh listen to me" kind of tone, but her father did not reply, so, after some of her yelling, my inner demon woke up, and I yelled, at the top of my lungs, with the deepest, most mean, angry-father voice I could possible produce: "What do you want?" to which she (she honestly thought that it was her dad) replied "Can I borrow the car? I need to pick up Sandra from her football training" and after that, I was flat on the ground laughing!

[Chanel_no5]

I stole a shopping cart from the grocery store when I was drunk. It later ended up in the flowerbed around the train station. I swear I had nothing to do with that though. I abandoned it on the square when a cop car came around the corner. Actually, my friends had to turn the shopping cart over to get me out of it, and drag-carry me away. I was that drunk. The hangover lasted for three days and I have never been that drunk again, nor will I ever be. Ugh.

The best part however is that I'm that "innocent girl", and nobody ever believed I was involved in any way.

[Stimuli]

I stole a shopping cart from the grocery store when I was drunk. It later ended up in the flowerbed around the train station. I swear I had nothing to do with that though. I abandoned it on the square when a cop car came around the corner. Actually, my friends had to turn the shopping cart over to get me out of it, and drag-carry me away. I was that drunk. The hangover lasted for three days and I have never been that drunk again, nor will I ever be. Ugh.

The best part however is that I'm that "innocent girl", and nobody ever believed I was involved in any way.

Haha that sure sounds like a night well spent, you shopping cart thief (I must admit that shopping carts are strangely appealing when being drunk )

[Chanel_no5]

There was something about a heap of snow as well... but I don't really recall more of that evening. Oh yes, they are, way too appealing!

[Melody]

I shall begin, to set an example: I was out on a walk with my lady one summer night, when (god this sounds fake due to my usage of language but it is in fact true) I heard a girl (probably of my age) calling for her father in a "ugh listen to me" kind of tone, but her father did not reply, so, after some of her yelling, my inner demon woke up, and I yelled, at the top of my lungs, with the deepest, most mean, angry-father voice I could possible produce: "What do you want?" to which she (she honestly thought that it was her dad) replied "Can I borrow the car? I need to pick up Sandra from her football training" and after that, I was flat on the ground laughing!

I'm sorry but I was laughing at this for a good five minutes just OMG!

[Nas]

This is kinda lame, but I was a passenger in a car driven by someone who only had the partial licence (he could only have one passenger at a time), with two other kids. I told my sister that I did 'something illegal with a boy'.

Last year, during band camp, I told my loud roommates the entire plot of Super Paper Mario to bore them to sleep.

In 6th grade, I told my friend that my name was "Vany/Vannie" (I saw a van pass by). She believed it for about a week.

Idk, my life isn't very exciting. X'D

[Kiwifruit]

I stole a roll of mints from a doctor' office when I was about 4 or 5...later that afternoon I felt so bad I went crying to my mum about it and I paid for the mints next time I was at the doctor's office xD Never even wanted to steal anything since haha.

[Chanel_no5]

I stole a roll of mints from a doctor' office when I was about 4 or 5...later that afternoon I felt so bad I went crying to my mum about it and I paid for the mints next time I was at the doctor's office xD Never even wanted to steal anything since haha.

Awwwww that's so cute I can't even...!

[Stimuli]

I stole a roll of mints from a doctor' office when I was about 4 or 5...later that afternoon I felt so bad I went crying to my mum about it and I paid for the mints next time I was at the doctor's office xD Never even wanted to steal anything since haha.

Sweet Jesus that was cute :')

[Wildwood]

Two years ago, I told a classmate my name was something so totally different from what it really is so I wouldn't get in trouble for writing a red 'A' on his lanyard that my school makes highschoolers wear if they break the rules. (props for my The Scarlet Letter humor)

[Anonymouse]

I drove a bunch of kids in my car when I only had my learner's permit. I was crying the whole time because growing up I was instilled with a constant crushing sense of guilt regardless of whether or not I was doing anything wrong. My father knows all the cops in town so he said he'd know if I did anything I wasn't supposed to. After we got to our destination I called my parents bawling and confessed. Much like Kiwi that was pretty much the only time (before college anyway) I did anything stupid or close to illegal. I won't get into all the shit I got into after I turned eighteen.

[Emily]

I stole the cookies from the cookie jar.

[Chanel_no5]

I stole the cookies from the cookie jar.

Oh NO! How could you?! I was craving cookies..! Sorry.

I told my flirt's horse that I have a crush on his mistress. That might have been a mistake, because ever since he keeps giving me these weird glances like he actually understood me. Not like he can tell her, but he still makes me a tad uneasy.

[Melody]

When I was 4 or 5 years old I stole these stickers from this crafting store and I felt so bad I went home gathered a bunch of other stickers and replaced the ones I took XD

[Kiwifruit]

I stole the cookies from the cookie jar.

Bahaha that's hilarious xD

I just remembered my other childhood crime...when I was 9-10ish I used to always carry a notebook and pen with me and take notes on EVERYTHING vaguely educational from signs, etc. Weird kid I wish I wanted to learn that much now. Anyway, I was waiting for my mum to finish in a public toilet and I had this pen with me, so I wrote my name on the bathroom wall. Then I tried to rub it off with my thumb (I had some weird idea it would come right off). It didn't budge. Then my mum came out so I had to stand in front of it with my heart pounding and hands sweating, terrified she would see it and know what I'd done. She didn't. I was HAUNTED by visions of my mum seeing it some other time we went to that theatre, or someone I knew seeing it...my name isn't that uncommon and I only wrote my first name so it's not likely people would immediately assume it was me anyway, but, yep, I went bawling to my mum about it a few months later and she laughed and hugged me and reassured me she was sure the cleaners had removed it long, long ago! Then when we went back to the theatre later I checked and yep, no trace remaining. I am such a guilty criminal I could never commit a crime, I'd end up confessing!

[Stimuli]

I can add a confessio, as it has taken a turn for the sweeter so, O was at this rich kids house, where they had some kind of decoration with tiny pieces of mirrors hanging on strings from the roof (good god that sounds weird haha) and one tiny piece of this mirror kind of thing had broken off, so I picked it up (I was around 6 y/o) and placed it in my pocket.

I forgot all about it untill I got home where I found again.

Needless to say, I ended up bawling my eyes out to my mum co fessing my theft of this, tiny, insignifficant piece of mirror decoration

[Stimuli]

Ended up posting my comment twice and I have no idea how to remove a comment, I confess, I am not the smartest!

[Snufaleeze]

When I was 7 (maybe) I was getting jolly ranchers at a store with my dad and I put two of them in my coat pocket. I thought it was okay since he was buying them, but when Itold my mom she was like, "That's stealing!" I broke down crying because I felt so bad. The worse part was we were at subway when I told her I was standing there crying my head off at subway!

[jano]

I once stole my friend's hamster! I just snuck him into my sweatshirt pocket and tried to walk home with him, but then i felt so bad that I had to go back, tell her I forgot something in her room (a lie) and put him back. She never noticed. I was really weird back then!

[Emily]

Okay actual confession now.

I farted really loudly in the middle of class and then moved my chair to try to cover it up, but I farted again while doing so. I locked eyes with the person next to me and gave her an accusatory glare. She looked away in embarrassment. I know she dunnit.

ETA: Okay that's still not the real confession.

The actual fart incident involved me farting while laughing. And then I pinned it on my brother. I was like "Dude, why did you fart?"

And then he was like, "Sorry can't help it"

[SterlingSilver]

This isn't exactly illegal, but I wouldn't say it was the most decent thing I've ever done. So here's one for you all:

Once, in elementary school, I was in a middle school's rendition of Annie. All the little kids were always recruited for the plays to be the hoards of nameless rabble, so I was naturally one of the orphan girls that sung in the "It's a Hard Knock Life" number. When I wasn't on stage, I was in the back room with everyone else, and had been playing around with girls who were much older than me. I thought they were really cool, so I was trying to chill with them. At one point, we were playing catch with an empty water bottle and it hit some poor, unsuspecting girl on the head. She looked up like it was raining on her, baffled, and I laughed so hard I peed myself.

I peed myself.

And what does young me do? I ran panicked to my two older acquaintances, yelling that I had wet my pants. And they looked at me like they had no idea what to do with me. In the middle of my distress, one of the teachers popped into the room and told us all to come out for curtain call. So I stood on the stage with pee-soaked pants as all the parents gave a standing ovation. Ahhhh, childhood~

[Chanel_no5]

Okay, brace yourselves. I have a confession to make.

I have this weird crush on James Comey.  It's weird to the extent that I'm not into men, and it doesn't feel like I usually feel when I crush on someone (I can't explain it, it's just different) and he certainly isn't my type, but it's a crush alright, and now I don't know what to do with myself about it.  

I've only had the full knowledge that this is what it is for a few hours and I've pretty much sported this face    nonstop since then.

 

[RachTheCool]

Okay my confession is i have a sneeze fetish.

Oh wait that's what this site is about...

Ok my confession is I STOLE A PEN FROM GUIDANCE

I'm sorry

[CeruleanBlue]

I started telling my classmates that I didn't have an extra pencil to borrow even though I had, like, three extra. I got annoyed that no one ended up giving me back my pencils.  

You know, I was about to stop here and say that I should have more to confess but I don't. I'm going to confess something really stupid lol.

I was 11 or 12 or so. And for whatever reason, this one character in a TV show was the most drop dead handsome man in my eyes. I fell so badly for him that I started daydreaming about meeting him. And it got worse from there. I decided that a lot of people from his world had unique names (I didn't realize that his name was an actual name at the time). So I would need one too. So I made up some random name that I thought sounded pretty, Sarella, I think, and I decided that I would introduce myself to him with that name. I think I even wore certain dresses to secretly pretend that I would meet him in them. And I was really, really sad when I realized he's fictional, I could never meet him and he wouldn't be interested in me anyway. A part of me had actually expected to meet him one day.

[FadedRose]

On 7/21/2017 at 1:47 AM, CeruleanBlue said:

I started telling my classmates that I didn't have an extra pencil to borrow even though I had, like, three extra. I got annoyed that no one ended up giving me back my pencils.  

I think everyone has done this at some point or another. I do it literally every day in school. I tried wrapping a piece of duct tape around the pencil so people would look at it and remember it was mine and they thought to give it back, but still nobody did. So I stopped loaning anyone who wasn't my friend a pencil.

I can't think of anything right now.. I might post again later if I remember. 

But there was this one time in school. I was sitting in study hall, very bored, and I hated that teacher who taught the class so much. I had several classes with that teacher and she was always incredibly rude to me when I was a perfect student. Like so rude that she took me out to the hallway, started insulting me for no reason, then I started crying right in the middle of the hallway.  So I was looking at the name plaque all teachers get, it was in the front of the room on the board. The teacher was out of the room and so I grabbed a piece of masking tape and wrote 'SUCKS' in all capitals with a thick black marker. I put it under her name plaque, so it read "Ms. ----- SUCKS." I was never caught 

Oh and one time I super glued a bunch of crayons to the top of a desk because one of my friends told me to. Never got caught for that either, but it took a full week to get them off.