Share your clumsy moments

[Chanel_no5]

I'm a naturally clumsy person. I'm the kind of person who gets her shopping cart stuck in the doors at the supermarket at least half the time. I wonder if it happens because I desperately DON'T want to draw attention to myself in public; some kind of backwards law of attraction, you know?

Anyway. So now I'd like to know if there are others out there like me, who always ends up doing some really clumsy and/or just plain embarrassing stuff, share your embarrassment so we can all laugh together.

When I was going outside today, I hadn't tied my shoe laces. I was going to get out of my apartment quickly so that my cats wouldn't sneak out with me, so I just stepped into my shoes and out through the door, closing it behind me. Then I turned around to lock it. Well. I tried to turn around. Instead I fell. I had gotten my shoe laces STUCK IN THE DOOR!!!! The embarrassment was completed by the fact that my neighbour chose that moment to step out of her apartment, staring at me on the floor. "Hi? What are you doing?" "I got stuck in the door." She looked at me like I was the village idiot and simply said: "Oh."

So, come on guys. Share your clumsy moments with me!

[MaiMai]

Oh gosh, that is embarrassing. There are so many I don't even know where to start, but it's nice to know I'm not the only one. Well, not an exhaustive list, but my some of my spectacularly clumsy moments include:

- The time I stepped backwards and accidentally put my foot down my friend's toilet.

- The time I was at a karate competition and tripped over my own feet, fell head first and concussed myself before the fight had even started.

- The time I managed to sneeze and slam my head on the desk during class, and had to explain what had happened to the school nurse. Double embarrassment (plus I had concussed myself, again).

- The thousands of times I have been talking to a friend with a pen in my hand, started gesturing and thrown said pen across the room, usually hitting someone with it. You would think I would know to put the pen down by now.

- The sex-ed lesson a few years ago when we were putting condoms on models and the one I had pinged off and hit my teacher directly in the eye, causing her to have a grudge against me for the rest of the time I was at that school.

- The time I accidentally hit a rounders ball backwards and hit a cow in the field behind me, which fell over and had to be put upright by a teacher during lunch because it couldn't get back up.

I'm sure there are many more, but those are the ones that came to mind.

[SpookyScarySkeleton]

Oh god,I could write 50 novels on my clumsy moments

- DOORS just DOORS. I walk into them/bump into them like 90% of the time. I cant open them most the time or unlock them. Just doors.sigh

-tripping over nothing or my own feet

- Sports,I cant count how many times ive smacked a ball into MY OWN face.

-Sneezing and hitting my face on a desk in class. This happend this week and my friend said "bless you,are you okay you just smacked your face?" Im like heh happens .

-Stairs, tripping UP and DOWN the stairs.

-WALLS, im constantly hitting into walls or lockers ect. I just cant seem to get around them.

I yeh theres probly more.

[TheCakeIsAlive]

Nearly falling over, for no reason, all the time. "No, I'm fine, I just couldn't remember how to align myself properly with regards to the gravitational pull of the Earth..."

Stuttering at the worst possible moments.

Dropping stuff.

Hitting walls, door posts...

[froglatte]

This was back in my days as an ASL interpreter. I was the head interpreter for a huge board meeting with some of our biggest corporate supporters and there were at least fifty executives there, all well-known and influential people. We took a break in the middle of the three-hour meeting and I ran off to the bathroom. When I returned, it was the cliched old "pantyhose tucked into the back of my dress" experience. I showed off my rear to about half the table before I realized what happened. Ugh, that is still a moment with enough power to make me do a full-body cringe when I think of it.

I also have POTS and when I'm in a flare, I tend to pass out unexpectedly. I once fainted in the middle of a produce section right next to a display of citrus fruit. I must have hit the display dead center when I fell because I came to a minute later surrounded by big piles of grapefruit and oranges.

[skater]

Once I had to stay after school for a Chemistry lab, and I had to get a beaker. I'm like 4'11" and couldn't reach the beakers, but my teacher was in the WORST mood ever so I was scared to ask him for one. So I kind of jumped/climbed on the counter to try to reach the beaker and in that process, knocked down like 4 beakersPreeetty sure my teacher's bad mood didn't go away for the whole rest of the year.

I'm not sure if this is exactly clumsy, just awkward - I'm really bad at getting my student ID to scan at school. When I pay for lunch at school I always hold up the line trying to scan it and the lunch-lady is all like "HAVE TO SCAN ID." And I'm like "I'M TRYYYYING"

Also, automatic sinks never turn on for me. Like I wave my hand everywhere and the sink never turns on.

And there has got to be more many more omg

[TaurielRiver]

Heh, I am really enjoying reading all of these! And I feel surprisingly less clumsy now too, which is a bit of a bother because it's one of my best talents!

The main thing that I seem to always do, in a way that almost defies the laws of probability, is somehow manage to knock over other people's drinks when I'm eating out with friends at cafes and restaurants. And what makes it even more awfully embarrassing is that it always seems to happen when I'm trying to do something helpful for that person, like passing the sauce, or the salt, or a menu, or inviting them to take something... like... "here try some of my- OH NO, I'M SO SORRY!!"

[•.*°•☆. Q .☆•°*.•]

I'm awfully good at falling when there are stairs involved. If you can think of a directional adjective, I have probably fallen that way in relation to stairs. I used to be much clumsier than I am now, mostly because I sit a lot more these days than I used to, hahaha.

[Melody]

Omg I'm practically crying at these ones just omg! XD I love reading these! Luckily I am not a clumsy person in the slightest.

Oh gosh, that is embarrassing. There are so many I don't even know where to start, but it's nice to know I'm not the only one. Well, not an exhaustive list, but my some of my spectacularly clumsy moments include:

- The time I stepped backwards and accidentally put my foot down my friend's toilet.

- The time I was at a karate competition and tripped over my own feet, fell head first and concussed myself before the fight had even started.

- The time I managed to sneeze and slam my head on the desk during class, and had to explain what had happened to the school nurse. Double embarrassment (plus I had concussed myself, again).

- The thousands of times I have been talking to a friend with a pen in my hand, started gesturing and thrown said pen across the room, usually hitting someone with it. You would think I would know to put the pen down by now.

- The sex-ed lesson a few years ago when we were putting condoms on models and the one I had pinged off and hit my teacher directly in the eye, causing her to have a grudge against me for the rest of the time I was at that school.

- The time I accidentally hit a rounders ball backwards and hit a cow in the field behind me, which fell over and had to be put upright by a teacher during lunch because it couldn't get back up.

I'm sure there are many more, but those are the ones that came to mind.

[Icarus Rex]

So, I was pet-sitting for my mom last week, found a sled by her front door, and thought it would be the best idea to take a joyride down the steep hill from her mailbox like I was a majestic arctic warrior.

I grabbed the mail, and proceeded down the hill on my magnificent chariot. My plan was to intentionally crash into a soft snowbank at the bottom of the hill. It was successful, HOWEVER my angle of impact was such that the mail flew out of my hand and was INSTANTLY BURIED in the tiny avalanche that ensued. I was digging for almost 20 minutes and I couldn't find the mail. WHAT HAPPENED.

(This was in the same day that I demolished an old bedframe to splinters because I let the nearly 200lb. dog I was supposed to be pet-sitting jump on it.)

Also, this thread reminds me of this time in eighth-grade science class when we were learning about fractional distillation, and I failed to assemble my apparatus properly, so it exploded.

Basically, what I'm saying is: I'm a graceful antelope who makes great decisions and definitely don't leave a wake of destruction at all.

[spirit]

Oh gosh, that is embarrassing. There are so many I don't even know where to start, but it's nice to know I'm not the only one. Well, not an exhaustive list, but my some of my spectacularly clumsy moments include:

- The time I stepped backwards and accidentally put my foot down my friend's toilet.

- The time I was at a karate competition and tripped over my own feet, fell head first and concussed myself before the fight had even started.

- The time I managed to sneeze and slam my head on the desk during class, and had to explain what had happened to the school nurse. Double embarrassment (plus I had concussed myself, again).

- The thousands of times I have been talking to a friend with a pen in my hand, started gesturing and thrown said pen across the room, usually hitting someone with it. You would think I would know to put the pen down by now.

- The sex-ed lesson a few years ago when we were putting condoms on models and the one I had pinged off and hit my teacher directly in the eye, causing her to have a grudge against me for the rest of the time I was at that school.

- The time I accidentally hit a rounders ball backwards and hit a cow in the field behind me, which fell over and had to be put upright by a teacher during lunch because it couldn't get back up.

I'm sure there are many more, but those are the ones that came to mind.

MY GOD, MAIMAI IM LAUGHING SO HARD AT THESE

[SterlingSilver]

MaiMai, you're precious xDDD those stories are gold, as are the rest up here. Also Rex, I love the way you write x'DD

Spirit, not to worry! I deleted the extras <3

I'm generally clumsy, with all the normal troubles of tripping out of nowhere and running into things. There was one time though, when I was courting my now-ex-boyfriend-- he was chatting to a mutual friend of ours, and I was watching like a hawk to see if he was interested in her. At the time I was eating this huge burrito, and managed to fling half of it all over myself in the midst of spying on them. I always seem to cover myself in food x'DD

Oh, and one other time in high school when my friend and I were running down a hallway. She stopped suddenly, and I crashed into her, and we both went rolling across the floor in a heap, laughing hysterically. That's one of my fond memories >w<

[Chanel_no5]

Hahahahaha, oh my God you guys!!! I love you!

I did something incredibly dumb a year or two ago, when I was visiting my mom's place. I was just hanging around, talking incessantly and cracking stupid jokes. Mom was probably half amused and half annoyed with me. Then I somehow dug my fingers in underneath the metallic part around the kitchen sink board and as I did, I lost my balance because for some reason I did some stupid dance moves while I was at it. And yes, I ripped the metallic part loose from the wooden board under it. I was like "Hey mom, I think I broke your kitchen..." She began to laugh and said "Please go home now."

And once when I was going to mount my horse bareback (she has this bad habit of walking away when you're in the middle of mounting and I cannot for the life of me make her stop; we've worked on this for 17 years and she still doesn't care). So as I stepped onto the mounting block I knew I had to apply some force to my mounting, or I wouldn't make it all the way up. Yeah. I miscalculated and fell down on her other side instead. She just looked at me as if saying "I take it you changed your mind?"

[Bruyere]

The time I ended up in A&E after scalding myself when I fell up the stairs (UP ffs!) and tipped the entire contents of a cup of tea over my hand remain a high point although this morning's incident was pretty special.

I've recently moved and the previous tenant has left the room in such a state (coming soon to a Dear Jerk thread near you ) that I'm only surprised I haven't injured/electrocuted myself sooner. I was in the shower and the bracket that holds the shower head is broken so you sort of have to balance it on the other side. It's fine, providing you manoeuvre about a bit and it's easier to wash your hair that way than by holding the shower head. Anyway, a different part of the shower bracket fell off and landed in the tray and while I was trying to figure out where it had come from and how to put it back I knocked the shower hose, the shower head fell off its perch and clocked me on the cheekbone. It's not quite a black eye but it is sore and pink and a little bit swollen.

So basically this morning I've managed to punch myself in the face with the shower. Great start to a Sunday morning!

[Chanel_no5]

Alright, so, I was at the stable and I had just filled up on water out in my horse's pasture and removed the layer of ice. She came up to check what I was doing, and when I was done I squatted in front of her and kept feeding her pieces of carrots. She was pleased, until I ran out. I just kept nuzzling her, when she suddenly decided that she had to remind me to keep feeding her treats. So she pushed me. It wasn't even a hard push, but my balance is way worse than it should be for a seasoned rider, and I was completely unprepared, so I sort of staggered to the side, almost got back up on my feet, then TRIPPED on myself and fell ASS FIRST into the freezing cold water!! OH MY GOD it was SO COLD!!!! I got up as fast as I possibly could and turned towards my horse.

She had taken one step back - probably to avoid getting hit by my flailing arms - but I swear the look on her face was SMUG. She thought that was funny!!

I love this horse to pieces, but she can be such a bitch sometimes.

And to make matters worse, the seat heater in my car is broken. My ass hasn't been that cold since I was a kid and went down snowy hills on the seat of my pants. Bleh!

[gingerdean]

Once when I was dancing (God only knows what kind of dancing I was doing), I jerked my arm back and punched myself really hard in the face. My eye was all red and swollen the next day. It was a lot of fun trying to explain that one to people.

When I was younger, I was at the pool with my best friend, and we were eating personal pizzas and drinking soda. I lifted my soda, and my friend got startled, then said something like 'Oh I didn't see your hand. It looked like your soda was floating in the air!" I started making fun of her for it, then I lifted my pizza in the air and joked "Hey look! Flying pizza!" I lost my grip on the plate, and proceeded to dump the entire pizza face down in her lap. She jumped up screaming (it was HOT),and ran off to jump in the pool and cool off her legs. I felt really bad about that one, but we get a good laugh out of it now, so it's all good.

And last year I was canoeing, and tipped my canoe over when I stood up to get a beer from the cooler. I canoe a lot, and It'd probably been at least 12 years since the last time I tipped a canoe. What a great way to ruin my no-tipping record.

Oh, and this one wasn't my fault, but it was incredibly embarrassing, and probably one of the weirdest things that has ever happened to me. I was at a Wal-Mart, and I went to grab a 2 liter bottle of soda off the top shelf...as I was pulling the soda out of the rack, the ENTIRE rack of soda started to slide down on top of me. I held the rack up the best I could and just kinda stood there, stunned for a minute...I had no idea what do. The store was freaking packed with people that day, but of course there was not one person to be found right then. I finally started to yell for help, and a female employee who was even smaller than I am came up to me and was like, 'what the heck are you doing?" I yelled at her to help me hold up the soda rack, because the whole damn thing was about to fall on top of me! She reached up to help me hold it up, but by then, 2 liter bottles were falling through the holes in the rack, and busting open on the floor. Finally we were like screw this, and we let go and jumped back so we wouldn't get creamed...The rack fell, and at least 30 bottles of soda came down with it. The poor employee and I just kinda stood there, completely stunned, and by then, we had drawn quite a crowd. (Where were all those people earlier when I needed them??) There was a river of soda in the aisle, soda was still spraying everywhere, and we were both completely soaked from head to toe. Seriously, wth.

[coldcure08]

1. In high school I did the classic Softball Klutz move. Coach hits a pop-fly to outfield... Me: "Huh?... Where'd it go? (Moves glove) Oh there it is... (THOCK!)"
   
2. As a child, my hobby seemed to be falling/somersaulting down staircases.
   
3. I have a pantry that is effectively three cabinets on top of each other, I left the top one open while looking into the bottom and stood up, slamming the seam of my head into the bottom of the top door, I cried it hurt so bad.
   
4. My future husband has an amusing habit of leaving his work boots in front of the master bathroom doorway and we have blackout curtains... Why, yes, I did have a good trip... Why do you ask?
   
5. I am a massage therapist and sometimes we use knees or feet on the hamstrings or gluteals, if your equilibrium is off that day... it gets funny fast. Laughter relieves stress too, right?
   
6. Sometimes I forget to wear shoes with traction when I try to get onto a too-tall office chair...
   
7. Sometimes to help out some friends, I pinch hit in a cafe in my spare time... without fail, either my shirt or my shoes will get lovely raspberry/blackberry/blueberry smoothies all over them.
   
8. I am the person who drops the roll of toilet paper in the toilet trying to change a spring loaded roll.
   
9. I don't cut myself on knives or scissors or glass, I bleed from the cuts I get from cardboard boxes.
   
10. I cannot operate a pair of scissors without pinching the skin between my thumb and forefinger.
    

[Chanel_no5]

I just sneezed and bent my body in such a way that the underwire of my bra snapped off. It was my only "nice" bra. I'm sad now.

[OhDearBlessYou]

^^I don't know what happened there, there were problems with the internet connection. No intention to double post, but this is what I actually was trying to say:

1. The time I was walking down the hallway, and my crush was sitting on the floor. He tried to grab the lower leg of my jeans playfully, and I skillfully avoided his hand smiling at him, like I was doing some sort of dance move. I kept walking, looking up, feeling like the smoothest girl in the world, so I didn't see the chairs that were right in front of me... I ended up moving all of them with my belly, and I almost fell. Everyone in the hallway laughed, including my crush. The memory is still fresh enough to make me cringe...

2. The time we were doing social service for school, working in a farm, preparing the soil to sow rice. We had to fill the area with water, and mix it with the soil with our feet, stomping it, wearing rubber boots. Result: mud trap. I was stomping, doing my business, when the rubber boot got trapped in the mud. I pulled my foot upwards, but only the foot came out, making me lose my balance, and fall on my ass in the mud pool. Cue laughs, pig jokes, and cameras.

3. I probably owe my mom hundreds of dollars for the amount of glass kitchen utensils and platter I have broken by accident.

4. The many times I knocked my head against something while hanging out with my ex friend. All of them were humiliating.

5. Accidentally kicking furniture, with whatever toe there is on my foot.

6. Doors. Either pulling when I have to push or vice versa, or accidentally kicking them, or crushing my fingers with them.

7. The kitchen. No matter the amount of experience I have cooking, I can't stop cutting my fingers or burning my skin like it's my job.

8. Tripping over nothing, especially when walking upstairs.

Am I welcome in Klutzville yet?

[Geist]

One day, I was outside swinging my bo staff around when I decided to get cocky and start throwing the staff in the air like a baton. (Hint: This is NOT a part of what I study! ) I didn't realize that my neighbor was fishing because he was kind of behind one of the bushes. He suddenly popped up and said, "HELLO!" and I yelled "SHIT!" right as the staff came down and whacked me on the wrist. I then tried to play it off like I was trying to grab it and it somehow tangled in my sock and whacked the holy crap out of my ankle. I fell in the dirt about 4 inches shy of rolling into the pond.

My neighbor laughed like a jackass and I just stood up and took a bow.

[AltoFairy]

Good god, I'm 2/2 on clumsy nightmares in the past 24 hours. Yesterday evening I was trying to hand-wash something in a mug I had that the handle had broken off of, and when I went to wash the mug it was slippery from the soap, I dropped it, tried to catch it, and sliced my hand on the edge of where the handle broke off to the point that I needed first aid. That gracefulness was followed today when I tried to pull my laptop cord up to plug it in, but the cord got stuck on something, broke loose, came flying at me, and hit me in the face so hard it split the corner of my lip.

My clumsiness is usually closely tied with stupidity and very frequently results in injury...

[Icarus Rex]

I already told everyone in chat, but apparently I'm so pleased with myself that the entire forum now needs to know:

So, I ride a janky old bicycle as my primary, non-walking form of transportation. I rode to the grocery store, and as I was getting off said bike, I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, but the seam on the upper left leg of my jeans got caught on some rusty bit under the seat/the seat itself and tore most of the crotch out of my jeans.

I stood there in shock for a moment, and debated whether or not it was worth the effort to ride all the way home again, but decided that I was decent enough to pick up groceries as if nothing had happened. And so I did.

**flourishing bow**

[MoonDuck]

I fall down the stairs on a regular basis. Either I'm running too quickly with slippery socks, I'm not paying attention, I can't count the stairs right, or my ankle does that thing where it's like "haha I'm not gonna support you now." It doesn't hurt me at all. I slam into the ground enough during volleyball that these things don't hurt. I just lay there and kind of laugh at myself.

As a child, my hobby seemed to be falling/somersaulting down staircases.

It's an interesting hobby to have, yeah.

[Whitehorse]

In my freshman year of college I tripped in the hallway, landed on my ass and dropped my books, and I said to myself, "Fan-fuckin-tastic, (my name)."

I then looked up and there was my English professor.

I was so unbelievably embarrassed but I grinned and said "Hey...expletive infixation, right?" He cracked up laughing and helped me pick up my books. (Search 'expletive infixation' on Wikipedia and you'll see why it's funny.)

[SterlingSilver]

Okay, this just in everybody~

I put on a shirt that made me feel especially adorable, so I was overcome by a need to dance. I jammed so hard I literally threw my phone across room and lost my ear buds in the process. C'EST LA VIE.