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The top 5 worst songs ever


Heathcliff

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# THE TOP 5 WORST SONGS EVER

I rediscovered an old song recently which is so bad... I thought it was a good time to do a top 5!

# 5. East 17 - Deep

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLqVm4i4IsI

This is an old British boyband song that is really hard to listen to now. It sucks. It is so sleazy, you just can't understand how it got made.

# 4. T-Spoon - Sex on the Beach

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYC4te2cZAQ

Has there ever been a lazier, more forgettable song than this? Even thinking of the title I hate it. There are ridiculous songs I enjoy, I'm not trying to be grumpy about it, but we deserve better than this.

(I thought of putting Atomic Kitten's cover of Ladies' Night here, but that would be so much like shooting fish in a barrel.)

# 3. Des'Ree - Life

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKtrWU4zaaI

This song features the lyrics

"I don't want to see a ghost,
It's the sight that I fear most,
I'd rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news."

The fact that her producer thought these lyrics were acceptable for release just makes me fall over with laughter.

# 2. Vengaboys - Uncle John from Jamaica

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKksMJY1z0g

My wife's gone on holiday to the West Indies.

Jamaica?

No, she went of her own accord!

Ha ha ha. seriously though, this song is unbelievably bad Euro pop which should have been buried six foot underground with a wooden stake hammered through it.

# 1. Rednex - Old Pop In an Oak

This one is just astounding. They had a hit with a version of an American folk tune, Cotton Eyed Joe.

They followed it up with a song that sounds the same, like it literally sounds as though they have put the first record on the CD player and they are shouting over the top of it. Also the dancing looks like some kids who've been fed five pounds of sugar.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28tBkVg8iPI&list=RD28tBkVg8iPI&start_radio=1

Edited by Heathcliff
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How about the Mr. Blobby song? That one needs euthanising. I'm not adding a link, out of respect for humanity!

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9 hours ago, NotWho said:

Lowkey surprised “Stacy’s Mom” by Fountains of Wayne is not up there

It's funny how music is so subjective, because I really like that song 😄

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Schnappi, Das Kleine Krokodil.  :puke: Oh my God I remember the summer you heard it EVERYWHERE, it was torture. :dead: 

 

11 hours ago, Heathcliff said:

this song is unbelievably bad Euro pop which should have been buried six foot underground with a wooden stake hammered through it.

I actually love euro pop... though that particular song isn't among the better. 

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I actually like the East 17 and Rednex tracks.

 

Surprised no one has yet said that dreadful " I Will Always Love You" by the equally dreadful Whitney Houston.

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On 10/30/2021 at 7:38 AM, Hizzoner duh Mare said:

I'm sure I'm in the minority on this one: Queen: Bohemian Rhapsody. :puke: Can't stand it

I can’t stand queen in general so I’m with you on this one.

Similarly, “Paradise City” by Guns n Roses is unappealing

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  • 2 months later...
On 11/6/2021 at 1:55 PM, NotWho said:

I can’t stand queen in general so I’m with you on this one.

Similarly, “Paradise City” by Guns n Roses is unappealing

Queen is a fascinating band in that they were so badly produced.
For example, "Radio Ga-ga" has bad synthesized drums and effects on the single. But when you hear it live, that's gone and the song is good. 

It's why their Live Aid performance seemed so remarkable. Songs you didn't like on the radio suddenly sounded good without the bad producing. Just let good musicians play. 

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On 1/16/2022 at 11:29 AM, Chiguy13 said:

Anything Bon Jovi.

I could not agree more - I’ve sprained a finger jamming the touchscreen in my car trying to find another station (ANY other station!!!) 😂

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11 hours ago, Mikesfet said:

I could not agree more - I’ve sprained a finger jamming the touchscreen in my car trying to find another station (ANY other station!!!) 😂

Excruciating.

I'd name a song, but they all have the same nasal whine for singing and melody. If there's a Hell and it has a soundtrack ... 

Edited by Chiguy13
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On 1/16/2022 at 2:29 PM, Chiguy13 said:

Anything Bon Jovi.

LOVE BonJovi!

My vote, and I'm very vocal about it often - is anything by Tragically Hip.

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4 hours ago, Just Older said:

LOVE BonJovi!

My vote, and I'm very vocal about it often - is anything by Tragically Hip.

Most Canadian acts are heinous:

- Nickelback

- Bryan Adams

- Loverboy

- Rush

- Alanis Morisette

- Celine Dion

For me, Bon Jovi are honorary Canadians 😂

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On 1/29/2022 at 7:26 PM, Chiguy13 said:

Because I just heard it ... Maroon 5's "Moves Like Jagger."

Awful. 

Oh god I hate Maroon 5. 💓

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11 minutes ago, Heathcliff said:

Oh god I hate Maroon 5. 💓

Every time I see Levine on The Voice, I think "How is he teaching the way to make good music?"

Then I think about the big money he made with such little talent, and I must concede he knows what it takes to succeed in that industry. 

😂

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 2/19/2022 at 3:46 PM, Empyrean said:

Any song made by Yungblood. The man himself just makes me feel physically sick. 

Oh god, that made me laugh :D

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  • 3 months later...

Chance the Rapper's Hot Shower is up there for me. I've never heard a song so painfully mediocre but somehow it got radio play

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