Accidentally Outed to my Wife

[Melody]

This has to be one of the most fascinating topics I've ever read here. I'm sorry to the people who've been outed against their will and have received less than ideal reactions. 

It's so interesting to hear the difference in experience, especially from the older OG"s. I literally can't conceive having this fetish before the internet and just thinking you're the only person in the world with this interest. Jesus.

I found this forum when I was 10 years old which gave me a great understanding of what a sneeze fetish was and the community here. Finding a community definitely helped me navigate the confusing world of sexuality and ultimately helped me understand my fetish pretty much immediately. I understood and accepted I was into sneezing a full 13 years before I ever realized I was bisexual which is pretty wild to me. Welcome to the fucking internet, eh? Anyway, as a result I'm pretty jaded with telling people. I've told a few people, one of those being my current partner with little problem. When we first starting dating, I decided that I never ever wanted to be outed. I'd rather they hear it straight from me, because let's face it, accidents and slip ups happen.  

I've learned in general (but especially this fetish) you have to approach things and say things with confidence. Deep down I definitely have some issues accepting this fetish but I just fake it when it's ever brought up by other people lol. On the surface it looks like I have 0 problems with discussing and accepting my fetish.

If you act like it's perfectly normal and acceptable to have a sneeze fetish the way others like feet for example, 9 times out of 10 the other person will just accept it as well. It really depends on how the topic is broached. That's why being outed is so terrifying to me lol. Because it's a secret that you've been intentionally hiding so you're of course going to react in a shocked and not so confident manner.

Anyway that's a rant but super great topic!

 

 

Edited August 29, 2022 by Melody

[Saimou]

8 hours ago, Melody said:

I've learned in general (but especially this fetish) you have to approach things and say things with confidence. Deep down I definitely have some issues accepting this fetish but I just fake it when it's ever brought up by other people lol. On the surface it looks like I have 0 problems with discussing and accepting my fetish.

If you act like it's perfectly normal and acceptable to have a sneeze fetish the way others like feet for example, 9 times out of 10 the other person will just accept it as well. It really depends on how the topic is broached. That's why being outed is so terrifying to me lol. Because it's a secret that you've been intentionally hiding so you're of course going to react in a shocked and not so confident manner.

Exactly 👌🏻! If you act embarrassed, it subconsciously cues to the other person that this is something to be embarrassed about; and vice versa. 

[haymaker]

What Melody and stated, and Saimou has acknowledged is undoubtedly a brave and bold approach to living with this fetish, but it is a course of action that would not work for me. 

I actually enjoy (or enjoyed) witnessing my partners sneezes privately. Some may consider that keeping this indulgence a secret is a dishonest act, but on the grand scale of crimes against a significant other it is surely a minor offence and personally it troubles my conscience not at all.

The only way I could see this changing would be with a sneeze fetish partner. That situation would provide an entirely different dynamic and a probable shift in the whole paradigm.

 

 

 

 

Edited September 3, 2022 by haymaker

[RB]

2 hours ago, haymaker said:

What Melody and stated, and Saimou has acknowledged, is undoubtedly a brave and bold approach to living with this fetish, but it is a course of action that would not work for me. 

I actually enjoy (or enjoyed) witnessing my partners sneezes privately. Some may consider that keeping this indulgence a secret is a dishonest act, but on the grand scale of crimes against a significant other it is surely a minor offence and personally it troubles my conscious not at all.

The only way I could see this changing would be with a sneeze fetish partner. That situation would provide an entirely different dynamic and a probable shift in the whole paradigm.

 

 

 

 

There is another alternative, which I did (and in fact, am still doing 30+ years in). Once it realized this “fascination” was also sexual (pre-internet so of course I thought I was alone), I was so determined not to be “caught” that I told myself that anyone I became romantically involved with was “off limits” as if they were family. Even if that meant giving up the guilty pleasure of enjoying their sneeze from afar. It was with it to me that they never saw that side of me.  
 

It also had the added bonus that it forced me to be sexual with my partners in a “normal” way and the indulgence issue you referenced never surfaced. I’d like to say I conducted myself out of respect, etc. but that level of awareness was not available to me as a 12-13 year old (especially given the cultural climate of the late 70s - there was no example at the time).

I’m not necessarily advocating for such a strategy. I’m just saying it’s out there.  
 

I got outed eventually by, of course, the internet. But my wife is still “off limits.”  Once you flip that switch off you can’t turn it on again. 

[Tucked Hankie]

On 8/29/2022 at 1:08 PM, Saimou said:

Exactly 👌🏻! If you act embarrassed, it subconsciously cues to the other person that this is something to be embarrassed about; and vice versa. 

Agree with you 100%

[Saimou]

1 hour ago, Tucked Hankie said:

Agree with you 100%

Good to know I’m not the only one, who supports this theory .

[Melody]

23 hours ago, RB said:

I got outed eventually by, of course, the internet. But my wife is still “off limits.”  Once you flip that switch off you can’t turn it on again. 

This is honestly fascinating… I can see how this works. Once the switch is off it’s off. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[RosieB]

On 6/18/2022 at 4:23 PM, CheekyGuy said:

Ultimately, while one should not necessarily expect a partner to participate in a fetish, if they can’t accept you for having it, then they don’t really accept you as a person. 

Very true.