Forever Winter If You Go

[Tumble]

Sigh, I’m sad for both of them.  

[Not Telling]

Oh my gosh, my heart feels heavy after reading this. Poor darling Brandon. I understand James's confliction, though it was unfair of him to make advances towards Brandon while he still feels obligated to be and is with Anna, because yes now no matter what and who he chooses someone is likely going to get hurt. He needs to be honest with himself and really reflect on what he wants. I think if he was, he would find that Anna isn't the true person he wants. It seems that whatever he feels for her is a vestigial of his past emotion entwined in their history but it's not where his heart lies in the present. (It also seems entirely possible that Anna also isn't entirely devoted to him in the present either) For everyone's sake I hope he figures out what he truly wants and what he's truly willing to sacrifice. Either way James is losing someone and I don't want it to be Brandon. Team Brandon all the way! 

[lighthousegirl]

I couldn't leave these two mad at each other for too long. 😏

 

"So these national exam statistics demonstrate that..."
James stifled a yawn and tried to look interested. The school day was over and the principal had been droning on for 45 minutes to the staff about reports, exams and various other deadly dull topics.

His eye wandered across the room and fell on Brandon, who was sitting near the front looking pale and tired. It had been a few days since their argument and they'd managed to avoid seeing each other since then. Even from a distance James could see he was unwell. He watched with a mixture of guilt and pity as Brandon's eyelids fluttered and he brought a handkerchief to his nose, jerking forward to stifle 3 painful looking sneezes. Jen, who was sitting next to him, murmured something - presumably a blessing - to which Brandon smiled wryly.

The meeting finally ended and James made his way out with the rest of his colleagues. He couldn't wait to get out of the building. For days he'd felt like he was just going through the motions when he was here.

He grabbed his laptop bag and coat from his room then made his way to the staff room to collect some marking on his way out. As he entered he nearly bumped into Brandon, who was bent over, clearly in the throes of a sneezing fit.
"Aschew! 'Schew! Hah... ahhscheww! Hascheww!"
The sneezes were soft, but strong, and Brandon gave a very congested sounding sniffle once he was done. He looked at James through watery eyes, with a stare that was, if not friendly, then at least not outright antagonistic.
"Bless you," said James sympathetically. "I gave you my cold. I'm sorry."
Brandon shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. "Id was kind ob inebitable I guess," he said huskily, wincing at the congestion in his voice. He made to walk past, but instinctively James grabbed his arm.
"Please, Brandon. I hate that things are like this between us."
"But they are."
"I don't want you to hate me." James couldn't help the slight tremor in his voice as he said this and Brandon's eyes softened a little.
"I don't hate you," he said quietly. "I was angry but I'm trying to get over it. I do understand your situation even if I don't like or agree with it."
"I wish we could just go back to the way things were," sighed James.
"Time heals all wounds, so I've heard," Brandon replied, although  there was a cynical edge to his voice as if he didn't entirely believe this. He patted James's hand before gently removing it from his arm. His voice became more sincere as he went on, looking James properly in the eyes.
"This is the shit part. We'll get through it. It's like this cold - you feel like crap at the time then all of a sudden you wake up and you feel better."
James laughed despite himself at the metaphor. Brandon permitted himself a small smile then headed for the door, stopping to sneeze again into his handkerchief.
"Aschew!"
"Bless you!"
"Ugh... thanks."
As James watched the other man head out the door and listened to his footsteps along the corridor, the sound of 2 more sneezes floated back towards him.
"Aschew! Hah... hascheww!"
James smiled fondly to himself. Then, as he stood there 3 words came into his head, unbidden, which sent shock waves through his body like electricity.
I love you.

[thesneezyowl]

The angst. THE ANGST!!! We’re on the cusp of the update that will bring them back together. I feel it in my bones. 

[solitaire-au]

Woah. Talk about painful revelations…

I don’t think it’s going to be that simple for James and Brandon to get together. Even if he’s staying with Anna out of obligation, they’ve been together for years and have clearly lived together for quite some time.
 

It would not be trivial for him to go his separate ways from her. Unless she were to suddenly quit and move back to the city without him, I guess. And even then, bouncing from one partner straight to another is never a good idea.

I think they’re in for a rough ride.

[Tumble]

Woah😳 Awesome!

[Not Telling]

20 hours ago, lighthousegirl said:

He patted James's hand before gently removing it from his arm.

This made me want to cry. It's the right thing for Brandon to distance himself from James right now while he clearly can't commit himself to him but having to reject his touches and that feeling of closeness is so painful. Though, it would be painful if he didn't, it would be like dangling the carrot. Only giving him a fraction of what he deserves. It just hurts all the way around. 

Even the revelation of James's love for Brandon is a little bittersweet. 

I anxiously await to see what you have planned next. 

[lighthousegirl]

I'm just so in love with all your comments - they've actually really helped me to shape this story and the character development as I've been writing it. Thank you!!

I'm sad to say there is no sneezing in this part, but lots of revelations!

 

APRIL

As the weeks went by Brandon found that life did indeed go on and if time didn't completely heal all wounds, it certainly helped to put the broken pieces back together, albeit slowly. He threw himself into work, sketching and swimming - and tried to forget. It didn't always work - he still found himself idly drawing eyes that looked remarkably like James's and waking up at night as memories replayed over and over in his mind.

One afternoon he was sitting in the office, lost in a daydream when Jen's voice broke into his reverie.
"I saw your friend Mr Evans earlier today," she said casually, as she looked through a pile of papers on her desk.
"Mm? Oh, right." Brandon wasn't entirely sure how much Jen had surmised, but he knew that rather like Fergus she wasn't stupid. He thought he could sense her giving him a discerning glance and he kept his eyes firmly fixed on the computer screen in front of him.
"Yeah. He was sneezing up a storm."
In spite of himself, Brandon looked up in surprise.
"Really? He was sick not that long ago."
"Allergies, he said."
Vaguely Brandon remembered James mentioning he had terrible hay fever and however hard he tried to feign disinterest, he couldn't quite quash the feelings of sympathy and concern that had suddenly sprung up in him. He said nothing more however, but shut down his laptop and headed for the door.
"See you later Jen."
"Bye!"

Of course, Brandon had no interest in checking to see if James was alright. James was a grown up and could look after himself, he told himself firmly. The fact that his feet had taken him via the Maths department, which was nowhere near his route out of the building was pure coincidence. He just needed to check the noticeboard. Obviously.

He couldn't help but glance into James's classroom as he went past however and he also couldn't seem to help the flicker of disappointment which went through him when he saw it was empty and the lights were off. What was he doing? This was the sort of masochistic behaviour he'd been trying to avoid over the last few weeks and now it felt like all his defences were crumbling at once. Did the thought of James suffering have such a profound effect on him? The man wasn't dying for goodness' sake.

Before Brandon could berate himself further he nearly collided with Graham, James's boss, who was hurrying round the corner clutching a pile of documents.
"Oh! Sorry Brandon! How are you? We don't often see you round here."
Hardly surprising, thought Brandon. Maths hadn't exactly been his strong point when he'd been at school himself. He had no need to be reminded of it now.
"Hey Graham, I was just checking... something," he replied lamely.
"Well I'm glad I ran into you anyway. You live near James don't you? You guys car share sometimes?"
Brandon's heart sank at the question. Could he not escape the subject of James for 2 minutes?
"Um, yeah," he said.
"I told him to go home early today - the poor guy was a complete mess with his allergies - clearly he's not quite used to living in out here in the sticks in springtime yet! But I forgot to give him these reports. I really need him to look them over tonight. You wouldn't mind dropping them off would you?"

In fact, Brandon did mind very much. But Graham was his superior, if not his direct boss, and quite frankly what reason could he give for not going round there? He nodded.
"Sure, I'll uh - drop them round."
"You're a lifesaver Brandon. Thank you," said Graham briskly, handing over the papers and dashing off again. "You're welcome," muttered Brandon grumpily as he headed resignedly to the car park.

Half an hour later he pulled up to the house and walked up the front steps with trepidation. Why did he feel so nervous? James wasn't going to eat him. He'd simply hand over the stuff and then go again, he told himself. A minute after he had rung the bell, he was about to ring again when the door opened and a very pretty woman stood smiling at him.

Mentally Brandon kicked himself. With all his inner ramblings, he'd utterly failed to consider that Anna might be the one to answer the door.
"Um, hi, sorry I just wanted to leave these for James. They're from Graham. I work with him. At the school. James, I mean," he stammered. The woman's face suddenly took on a serious look.

"You must be Brandon."
It was said without malice or anger but Brandon suddenly felt like the temperature had dropped 10 degrees as she looked him up and down.
"Um, yeah," he said uncomfortably.
"Come in."
Somehow Brandon didn't feel like it was entirely a request. Swallowing hard, he followed her inside and into the living room.
"James isn't here. He's gone to get more allergy meds," she called from the kitchen, where she was making tea.
"Oh, right. I heard he wasn't doing great," Brandon responded, wondering where this conversation was going. He looked around the living room and noticed various suitcases piled against the wall.
"Are you going on a trip?" he asked, trying to sound friendly as she re-entered the room.
She hesitated, looking at him shrewdly, as if trying to come to a decision about something.
"Not exactly," she said slowly. "I'm... leaving."
"Leaving?"
"Moving back to London."
As Brandon stared at her in shock, she sighed and went on.
"James and I... we're not together anymore. I'd known it wasn't working for a while and couldn't figure out a way to say it. Then he came home one day a few weeks back and it was written all over his face. In a way it was a relief to finally be open about it with each other. There's no animosity - it's all very civil. We love each other, but we're not in love anymore." She paused again, colour rising in her cheeks.
"In fact, I think he's in love with you."

Brandon stood still like a stone. It felt like his heart had just dropped into his stomach.
"Anna, I swear, we haven't... I mean I'd never..."
"It's ok," she said reassuringly, interrupting his protestations. "I don't want to know the details. I know and trust James enough to know he'd never have an affair or anything like that. However aloof he might think he appears, I can read him pretty well by now." She smiled.
"You're lucky. I have no idea what's going on in his head most of the time," said Brandon heavily.
"The thing with James," Anna said thoughtfully, "is he always has to be the strong one. He feels like he has to protect everyone else but he's pretty hopeless at looking after himself. The worst thing in the world to him would be for people to think badly of him. And given everything that's happened in the last couple of years that's only gotten worse of course."
She spoke as if Brandon should understand her meaning and when she saw his confused expression her eyes widened then narrowed with exasperated amusement.
"Typical. Of course he didn't tell you anything." She gave a sarcastic laugh.
"Didn't tell me what?" asked Brandon, feeling more and more bewildered.

There was a pause as she took a deep breath and then said steadily, "About a year and a half ago James and I were in a car crash. A bad one. James was driving."
Understanding began to wash over Brandon.
"There were several cars involved. I had to spend a few weeks in hospital and one of the other drivers was lucky to survive. The person who caused the accident was on their phone. It wasn't James's fault but... he feels responsible. Especially since I was hurt."
A strained look flickered across her face and her voice shook just a little, but she carried on.
"We were both pretty traumatised by it I guess. I've been going to counselling and it's really helped. But James... he won't talk about it. He keeps saying he's fine but I hear him shouting in his sleep when he has nightmares. And he won't drive anymore - not unless he absolutely has to."
Brandon remembered the day James drove them home and nodded, guilt flooding through him at the memory. He sank down on to the sofa, feeling weak all of a sudden.
"Well this explains a lot," he said at last. "No wonder he was so freaked out in my car that night. Why didn't he just tell me?"
"He's ashamed I think," said Anna sadly. "Like I said, he always feels he has to be the responsible one. His dad and brother are both in the army and I think the stiff upper lip thing is strong in all of them." She rolled her eyes.
They sat in silence for a few moments then Anna stood up awkwardly.
"James will be back soon..." she said hesitantly.
"Oh, right. Of course - I'll leave you to it." Brandon rose and they regarded each other for a moment.
"I'm so sorry things have worked out this way Anna - truly," Brandon said sincerely. "I really hope things go well for you back in London."
She smiled back at him and tentatively patted him on the shoulder.
"Look after him for me will you?" she said, her voice quivering just a little. Brandon sighed. "It's hard. I don't know where we're at to be honest. I'm not sure if I can cope with many more emotional ups and downs."
"If this whole experience has taught me anything it's that honesty is the best policy," Anna replied sagely. "But... and you can tell me it's none of my business if you want...  I think you both need to know what you want and I'm not sure either of you is quite there yet."
"I think you're right there," mused Brandon. He risked giving her a cheeky smile. "You're very wise, you know that?"
Luckily she took the joke and winked back at him. "So I've been told." She paused and looked at him wistfully.
"I wish we'd met under different circumstances Brandon. I think we could have been good friends."
"Me too. You've been more than generous in all this Anna. I'm not sure I deserve it."
"From what James has said about you I'm sure you do," she replied. Tears suddenly came into her eyes.
"I will miss him you know. The relationship part was a mess but... I'm going to miss my best mate."
"Don't you think you guys might manage to stay friends?" asked Brandon.
"Maybe. I think we could probably use a bit of time and space first though."
"Sounds sensible."

After a couple more minutes, Brandon let himself out of the house and stood on the pavement breathing deeply. While some would argue he had every reason to feel ecstatic at the recent developments, he found himself feeling just... kind of sad about the whole thing. Anna, having to start all over again and James, trying so hard to hold it altogether when inside he was falling apart. Himself, agonising for months over every look, comment and touch. It wasn't worth it. Anna was right. Life was too short not to be honest with yourself and the people you loved.

[Tumble]

This is so well written. I look forward to each new section. 

[thesneezyowl]

Well, I kinda love Anna now. And love how this is developing!!! 

[Not Telling]

I knew it! I knew Anna wasn't in love with James anymore than he was with her that it was circumstance that kept them together as a couple, not their current feelings for each other. I suspected that they had been in a car accident together too, it had to be something like that both given his aversion to driving but also for why he was still with Anna when it seemed like neither of them were truly invested in each other anymore. But yay!! It's so nice to have it finally out in the open. And I'm so happy for the revelation and that James is free now. I'm glad that they were both able to acknowledge that while they care about each other they aren't in love with each other and give themselves both the opportunity to find someone that does evoke that emotion. I always appreciate when the break-up is mutual and not riddled with pain and hurt and in this type of story I think it's really the only way that works for forming the new relationship. Now I hope they both get their man! I'm excited for what's next, and I can't for some James allergy sneezing. 😍Thank you for this! 

[lighthousegirl]

 

MAY

It was the hottest day of the year so far and Brandon was already perspiring as he drove into the car park one morning a few weeks after Anna's revelation. It was amazing to think that not long ago snow had covered the hills and surrounding area. Brandon felt comforted as he always did at this time of year by the reminder that no matter what darkness has gone before, light and warmth will bring renewal and strength.

With immense effort he had managed to stay away from James - he wanted to give the guy space to deal with the upheaval of the end of his relationship and he certainly didn't want to become a rebound. Plus, who knew if James wanted anything to do with him anymore? He didn't entirely trust Anna's analysis of James's feelings and he also wasn't sure how happy James would be if he found out Brandon knew about the trauma surrounding the car crash.

Brandon entered the building and hurried to the art rooms. He had managed to sleep in and was aware that the school bell was going to ring any minute. He was just contemplating taking the lift when he heard a loud "haschoo!" behind him. He couldn't help his heart leaping - he knew that sound very well.

James waved at him sheepishly before burying his face in a handful of tissues and sneezing forcefully again. And again.
"Huh... huh... huhASCHoo! HuhASCHHHOOO! HASCHOO! Hah... hahahah... HAHASCHHHOOO!"
"Wow," Brandon couldn't help saying. He'd seen James with a cold but this was different. These sneezes were all-consuming and powerful, like a tempest. Once again he felt a strange urge to draw James as he was in that moment - fully consumed and at the mercy of his body. There was something captivating about what a sneeze could do to a person.

Brandon came out of his daydream and quickly added, "Sorry. Bless you. A lot."
"Thanks," said James with a sigh of relief, his red eyes somehow lighting up at the sight of Brandon, despite his predicament.
"I heard your allergies were pretty bad. I'm sorry," said Brandon sympathetically.
"Believe it or not they were worse a couple of weeks ago. I got prescribed some pretty strong medication. Once it's kicked in I can pretty much get through the school day."
"That's good - it's not the sort of job where you can really hide that sort of thing," said Brandon with a wry smile.
"No - I could barely teach when the hay fever first acted up - it wasn't good. It's been far worse than down south."
"A lot more pollen in the air," offered Brandon.
James nodded as his eyelids fluttered shut and his lips parted as he took in another deep breath. More prepared this time, he attempted to demonstrate some level of control over the convulsions but they proved too strong for him.
"Hasch! Hah-HASCH! HahESCHooo... ohhh," he practically moaned as he blew his nose.
"Bless you again."
"Ugh, thangks," James muttered, his eyes raised to the ceiling as he blinked away allergic tears. Once done, he attempted to rearrange his face into a normal expression and gave Brandon a bright smile.
"It's good to talk to you anyway. How have you been?"
"I've been... OK," replied Brandon after a moment's hesitation. "Busy as always. I'm looking forward to the summer."
"Yeah me too. This school year has gone by fast." James sniffled a little and rubbed his nose.
"Have you... got any holiday plans?" he asked a little shyly.
"Yeah, I'm going to Croatia with Jen and some other friends. I can't wait, I've been dying to go for years."
"Wow, sounds incredible!" James exclaimed.
"Yeah, it will be. It'll be good to get away. How about you? You going anywhere?"
"Not really, will probably just visit my family at some point. I'm actually moving house in a couple of weeks so lots to do for that."
"Oh, where are you moving to?" Brandon asked, with a sudden desperate fear that James was going to tell him that he too was going back to London.
"Oh not far away, just decided to go for a smaller place." James sneezed once again, a little less forcefully this time. "Aschoo! Hah-aschoo!" He fixed his eyes on Brandon and smiled a little sadly.
"Anna left."
"I know. I'm sorry."
"It's ok - it was the right thing. I should've faced up to things a lot sooner than I did. We were both so afraid of hurting one another we just sort of... tried to muddle along together. But it had run its course a while ago."
"She seemed like a really cool person. And... I'm sorry for how judgmental I was about the whole thing. You were right, I didn't understand. I've never been with anyone for anywhere near that long. I didn't consider the history and how strong the emotional ties were between you."
"You had every right to... to... b-be up... upset..." James's breath hitched wildly and his nose twitched as he brought up the tissues once again.
"Hh... hh...Hschmpf! Heschmpf! Hesch! Heh... hehaschoo! HehASCHoo! Hah... hah... hah... HASCHOO!"
The bell rang as James was in the midst of his latest fit and students began to emerge from the classrooms around them. "Bless you Mr Evans!" a couple of them chorused as they walked past. James grinned in spite of himself and Brandon gave a small chuckle.
"I'd better go, I'm late already," he said.
"Yeah, I should probably make myself look somewhat presentable before my first class," said James, wiping his eyes and nose once again. "I'm beginning to think heavy sedation is the only thing that's going to get me through this season."
"You should try a hot toddy tonight," Brandon quipped as he headed off down the corridor.
"I thought that was supposed to be for colds?" James said quizzically.
"Ah, Fergus reckons it cures pretty much everything."
"Fergus is a character," laughed James. "Tell him I said hi. I liked him a lot."
"Will do. See you later!"

James watched as Brandon half ran to his classroom. The old butterflies resurfaced as he was reminded just how adorably attractive the other man was. God he wanted him.

***

Brandon heaved a sigh of relief as the final bell went and his students exited rowdily. It had been a long day and he'd barely had a moment to stop. The heat hadn't helped - it was sweltering in the art rooms and made everyone feel sleepy and grouchy.

He normally stayed for a while after school but he decided to treat himself to a late afternoon swim and a relaxing evening at home. He packed up his things and gratefully loosened his tie. As he headed out he realised he hadnt even had a chance to look at his phone all day. He pulled it out and saw he had a new message. As he read it his stomach churned and his heart began thumping with excitement.

So this hot toddy... I think I could use the help of an expert. You up for it? 😉

Before he could overthink it too much Brandon quickly typed out a reply.

Sure. My place, 7:30? Bring your best whisky.

[2SHY222]

Wow 😱. I'm sorry Anna left but I'm super excited to see where their relationship goes from here. And I do hope Fergus makes another appearance with an "I told you so" 😉😁

[Not Telling]

Yes! We're finally getting somewhere! I absolutely can't wait for what's next. We know that whiskey makes James a little loose lipped (literally) 🤭

[thesneezyowl]

Allergies + zero attachments + whiskey + feelings = yes, please

[dwaekki]

WHY DIDN'T I READ THIS EARLIER OMG 😭😭😭 I've just sat and read this in about an hour... it is one of the best things I've read in a while I can't lie 🥲 the emotions are always racing with this one and I'm never disappointed with the sneeziness! Thank you so much for writing such an incredible story so far, I hope you continue for much much longer because it seems like I'll never get tired of these characters already! They've been on so many twists and turns together across only a few months and I loved reading every single part! Bless James, I feel so sorry for him but at the same time I want to take him into my arms and let him cry 💔 I'm glad Brandon will be there to do that in my place soon I hope... Both characters are just so sweet and really touch my soul as I read about them, thank you again for your amazing writing, I'll stop rambling now but I'm 100% going to be eagerly back for the next chapter, I'm so beyond glad I read this 😭❤️ Looking forward to more 

[funbusej]

James already seems to be in a much better place...not necessarily health-wise, but emotionally.  Guilt was eating him alive before and he couldn't help but screw everything up and make everyone unhappy.  I also love the fact that you didn't immediately have them leap into each other's arms when Anna left.  This is a very realistic and wonderfully paced story!  I look forward to whatever else you choose to bless us with (pun, very much intended). 

[Lily]

hey I'm just discovering this ?? it's so sweet and endearing, I love the characters, and I was very involved in the up and down of both of them. In a way, I'm glad I'm just discovering this now because I was so scared to end on a cliffhanger. Loved how you managed to put all these sneezes, cold, allergies and sweet contagion. Can't wait to see the rest 🧡

[RipleyToo]

I hope there will be some more sneezes!! Maybe some more Brandon ones?  

[lighthousegirl]

Hi folks, thank you so much again for all your lovely feedback. Sadly we've had a family bereavement over here which is why things have been a bit quiet on the story front. However I'm continuing to write the next part and it's getting there! 

[Not Telling]

Hi lighthousegirl, sorry to hear this. Please, take as much time as you need and take care of yourself! ❤️ We'll all be here for the next part whenever it arrives.

[RipleyToo]

No rush! Take all the time you need  

[Tumble]

Ooh! Now things are getting “interesting”

[lighthousegirl]

Oh my gosh, you guys, the last chapter is finally here! 😭 I actually found this so hard to write - I really wanted to give these two the perfect ending. But fear not, they may well appear again elsewhere in the future! I cannot express my gratitude enough for all the lovely feedback and comments, especially in the last few weeks when life has not been super easy. THANK YOU.

 

The doorbell rang just as Brandon was finishing making himself look presentable after tidying up and taking a long shower. Much as he hated to admit it, he had been in a state of harried anticipation all afternoon. As he combed his hair he took in his somewhat overexcited expression in the mirror and told himself firmly to calm down. It didn't do much good. His stomach clenched as the bell rang and he forced himself to walk at a normal pace to the front door. He opened it to see James, looking ridiculously handsome and grinning back at him flirtatiously but also, he thought, with a hint of nerves.
"Hi," Brandon said breathlessly. "Come in."
James entered and proffered the bottle of whisky he had brought. "As promised," he said.
"Thanks."

They made their way to the kitchen, James looking around him appreciatively.
"I really do like your house," he said. "I didn't really get a chance to properly see it before."
"Trying to deal with me passed out on the sofa was probably a bit distracting," said Brandon, chuckling.
"Just a bit," agreed James. His eye fell on a framed drawing of a young girl who bore a striking resemblance to Brandon.
"Did you draw this? She looks a lot like you."
"Yeah, that's my sister. She was 16 there. It was one of the first drawings I did that I felt really proud of."
"I didn't know you had a sister."
"Yeah, she's a few years younger than me. She lives in Australia with her husband now so I don't get to see her that much. I miss her. She always looked out for me - it was more like she was the older sibling and I was the younger one."
"That's tough - her being so far away I mean," said James sympathetically.
"Yeah, it's hard. Even the time difference makes it difficult to have video calls. I'm going to be an uncle soon though so I'll probably pay her a visit."
"Oh wow, that's great news!" James exclaimed.
"Yeah I'm excited."
There was a pause.
"I'd love to see more of your work sometime," said James at last. "I mean, if you don't mind that is."
"Sure, if you really want to. I've got a studio out back if you want to have a look now? Please don't feel obligated though."
"Are you kidding? I'd love to!" said James enthusiastically.

Brandon led the way out to the garden. It had cooled down somewhat but the air still felt balmy.
"I say studio... it's really just a converted shed," he said over his shoulder. "It's a handy space though."
James nodded before turning to one side with 3 quick sneezes into his elbow. "Ah...aschoo! Aschoo! Ah-hah-aschoo!"
"Bless you. Hay fever still bothering you?"
"Not so much, just got hit with a few scents at once there," said James, rubbing his nose with a small sniffle.

They entered the shed and James looked round appreciatively at the sketches pinned on the walls and various paintings, one still to be finished, portraying some beautiful landscapes of the countryside in which they lived. One of them was of the castle in which Brandon had grown up - James gazed at it, impressed by the grandness Brandon had managed to get across, yet moved by the feeling of loneliness which seemed to emanate most of all. He moved over to the desk where there were more sketches and bits and pieces scattered around.

Brandon cleared his throat. "Um... I'll go sort the drinks out if that's ok. I get a little embarrassed watching people look at my work."
"Oh I'll come with you, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable..." James began.
"No, no, it's fine, take your time, honestly." And he ducked out from the shed before James could reply. Frowning slightly, James turned back to a pile of sketches in front of him and began to look through them, when suddenly he came across his own face. Several depictions of his face in fact, showing various different expressions. Some smiling, some serious, even one with his eyebrow raised looking a little flirtatious.

God, Brandon was good.

James gazed at the drawings for a few minutes more, a lump forming in his throat and his hands trembling. Then he cleared his throat and walked resolutely back towards the house and into the kitchen where Brandon was busy taking various things out of cupboards and placing them on the counter. He looked up at James as he entered and gave him a shy smile, a question forming in his eyes as he took in James's intense expression. Before his brain gave him the chance to get cold feet, James advanced on him and took his face in his hands. Their eyes met for a moment before he leaned in and kissed Brandon fiercely.

With their first kiss, James hadn't really had a chance to think about how it felt, physically, to kiss Brandon. His brain had been too busy ringing alarm bells for him to focus too much on how good it was. Brandon's lips were soft and warm, and now began to respond eagerly to James's overtures. James felt a hand tentatively cup his face and moaned against Brandon's mouth, giving him confidence to run his fingers more purposefully through James's hair. James was on fire. It was frighteningly, exhilaratingly wonderful.

Eventually they broke apart, each slightly breathless. They looked at each other for a moment and then laughed self-consciously. James rested his forehead against Brandon's.
"Well," Brandon said, in a deadpan voice. "That was um... very pleasant. If unexpected. Was my art work really that good?"
"You are that good," James murmured, pressing his lips against Brandon's once again.
"Mm... well, likewise I must say."

They continued to kiss for another few minutes, or possibly hours, Brandon wasn't quite sure, when James broke away from him suddenly with a familiar vague look of anticipation.
"Sorry... aschoo! Hhhaschoo! Hah... haschoo!" He sniffed ruefully.
"Ugh, sorry, trust me to kill the moment."
"Moment is most definitely not killed I promise," said Brandon fervently. He approached James and gave him a tentative kiss on the nose.
"Bless you. Shall I make you your hot toddy now?" he said with a wide smile.
"Yes, please."

James watched fondly as Brandon busily began to mix the whisky, honey and lemon with a look of intense concentration.
"You realise it's a bit ridiculous making this on the hottest day of the year, right?" Brandon said, topping up the mixture with boiling water.
"Anything that might help the hay fever I'll gladly take right now," James replied ruefully.
"Hmm... well in that case I am happy to do what I can."
Brandon decanted the liquid into 2 glasses then frowned. "Something missing..." he muttered. He looked around for a moment then snapped his fingers. "Cinnamon! How could I forget."
He opened a cupboard and extracted two cinnamon sticks from a jar.
"Voila," he said, adding one to each glass, then passing a drink over to James.
"Slàinte," he said with a wink, raising his own glass.
"French and Gaelic, my goodness," James said with faux admiration.
"I'm a man of many talents."
"Mm, clearly. Cheers."
They each took a sip and James sighed contentedly. "Ah, that really is good. Thank you."
"You're very welcome."

A silence fell as they continued to drink. They both suddenly felt aware of a delicacy in the atmosphere. Now that the kiss had happened, where did they go from here? What now? As he mulled over what to say next, James took a long deep drink from his glass and winced as the whisky burned. He coughed lightly but the burning feeling lingered, irritating his already itchy nose. "D-damnit..." he grumbled, turning away once again. "Sorry... hasch! Ah-haschoo! Haschoo!"
"Schew!"
James looked up in surprise to see Brandon sheepishly rubbing his nose, looking a little discomfited.
"Bless both of us I guess!" he said with a chuckle.
"Sorry... the cinnamon I think. Sometimes strong spices get to me. Oh, 'scuse me... aschew!"  Brandon blushed a little but gave James a good-humoured glance. "Sorry - did I steal your thunder?"
"Believe me, you're more than welcome to," muttered James, rubbing his own nose vigorously.
Brandon laughed with a sudden realisation. "I wonder if we'll ever manage to have an encounter where one of us isn't sneezing their head off?"
"An encounter, is that what you call it?" James replied teasingly. "You're right though, it does seem to be an all too frequent occurrence."
"The universe clearly has an odd sense of humour," agreed Brandon.
James opened his mouth as if to respond, then closed it again. To Brandon's surprise, he looked embarrassed and seemed to be staring steadfastly at his drink.
"What is it?" he asked curiously.
"Oh... nothing. I... was going to tell you something but you'll think I'm weird."
"I already knew you were weird."
"Haha."
"Oh come on... tell me. Please?" Brandon fixed imploring eyes on him and James had to laugh at his puppy dog expression.
"OK, well... I was going to say... I actually think you're kind of... adorable when you sneeze."
There was no mistaking it now, James's face was bright red as he stammered out this confession. Brandon just smiled and leaned over to give him a soft kiss. "Adorable. I can work with that."
James responded eagerly to his kiss and for another minute there was quiet.

Reluctantly Brandon eventually pulled away and sighed blissfully.
"I could do that all night."
"Me too."
"How are you feeling about this? I mean... the whole sexuality thing and all that?"
James considered. "Surprisingly OK," he said at last. "I mean, it was a shock to me to realise I liked you but I was more freaked out about Anna than anything else. Gay, bi... I don't know. All I know is I want you."
Brandon's heart beat wildly inside his chest. He forced his voice to remain level however. "Well that's good because I happen to want you too," he said candidly. "But... and I can't believe I'm saying this... I think there's some stuff to talk about first."
James's expression became more serious and he sat up a little straighter. "Of course," he said.

Brandon tried to think of how best to say what was on his mind.
"The thing is," he said at last, "Anna told me some stuff - about what happened to you guys. The accident and everything."
James nodded slowly. "I know. She told me you'd come round."
"She said you'd been struggling with it. Understandably - it sounds horrible, what you went through. But I think you should... talk to someone about it. Someone impartial and... professional. And I'm not saying I think this is the case but... I want to be sure that this... whatever it is, isn't just a life raft to avoid dealing with other stuff if you know what I mean... you're smiling. Why are you smiling?"
James bit his lip to suppress a chuckle. "Sorry - you're just very cute when you're being serious."
"Adorable when I sneeze, cute when I'm serious," grumbled Brandon. "What's next - the way I tie my shoes is particularly endearing?"
"Sorry - I am taking you seriously, I promise. And you're right about everything. That's why I've been going to a counsellor for the last 4 weeks."
This took the wind out of Brandon's sails somewhat.
"Oh! Good. Well I'll be quiet then."
"No, no don't be daft. I want us to be honest with one another. One of the biggest lessons I learned from Anna was that trying to keep stuff hidden inside and pretend everything's OK just causes more damage in the end. I never want to make that mistake again. Especially not with you."
James moved round the counter and took Brandon's face in his hands. "You make me feel more free than I have in years," he murmured, kissing him slowly. Brandon responded eagerly, a lump in his throat as the tension and uncertainty of the last few months seemed to suddenly melt away. Tears of relief and joy sprang into his eyes and he broke off from the kiss, clearing his throat and feeling a little embarrassed.
"Hm... sorry," he said, laughing a little. "It's just... a lot. I'm happy, honestly." He wrapped his arms around James and they stood there together, holding each other close. James rested his head on Brandon's shoulder and sighed contentedly.

"How long will you be away in Croatia for?" James whispered eventually.
"3 weeks."
"I'll miss you."
"Me too."
"Send me a postcard?"
"I might do," Brandon said cheekily, raising his head and giving him a wink.
"You better," growled James huskily, with another soft kiss.
"I'll be moving house and then I think I'll go down south to see my family for a while. I guess I might not see you till school starts again." He pouted adorably at the thought of waiting that long and Brandon squeezed him fondly.
"Well, maybe that's a good thing. We can each take some time, get some perspective and then hopefully by the time the new term rolls around we'll be ready to start afresh."
James smiled and returned the hug with enthusiasm. "You're very sensible and wise you know," he said teasingly.
"Yeah, yeah. Jen's always telling me I need to loosen up."
"I'm happy to help you with that any time."
"Now, now. Keep saying things like that and I might become very unsensible indeed."
"Mmm... I look forward to seeing that," James murmured, kissing him softly on the cheek and then moving round to caress his earlobe and then his neck. Brandon gasped in response. "Yep... definitely... less sensible by the second," he stammered breathlessly.

After another hour of whisky, chat and a large amount of kissing James reluctantly dragged himself away. Neither of them said much as they walked to the front door together, just one final tender embrace and a long look in each other's eyes. Then James left, walking home as the midsummer sun was just setting, a breeze wafting through the air, heightening his sense of exhilaration and joy. This is the beginning, he thought to himself, without entirely knowing what he meant. For the first time in a long time though, the uncertainty thrilled rather than terrified him.

AUGUST

Brandon stood in the welcoming silence of the art studio, breathing in the musty familiar smell. How much had changed in the space of a year and yet here he was once again, back where he belonged. As he headed over to the store cupboard to sort through some materials he couldn't help smiling to himself as he remembered the encounter that had taken place here a whole year ago. Who would have thought so much would have happened as a result of that chance meeting. He hadn't seen James yet, but they'd corresponded over the last few weeks, and butterflies fluttered in his stomach with the anticipation of seeing him again. It had been a long summer.

He started pulling boxes off the shelves and sorting through what could be kept and what needed thrown away. The shelves were covered in dust, paint and chalk and soon enough he began to feel the familiar telltale tickle in his nose. In spite of the discomfort he grinned to himself at the memory of his conversation with James and his subsequent confession. Adorable wasn't exactly the first word he would use to describe his sneezy moments, but if James enjoyed it he certainly wasn't going to complain.

Right now though, his nose was really beginning to annoy him. The itchiness lingered without really coming to any fruition, happy to torture him lazily, in no hurry to bring relief. He wriggled his nose and inhaled slowly, trying desperately to either dispel the tickle or help it on its way. The sneezes seemed in no rush to come however. He sighed with frustration.

"Everything alright?"

Brandon swung round to take in the slightly blurry vision of James standing in the doorway, looking as mischievous and as gorgeous as ever. He opened his mouth to say hello but the tickles flared as he did so and his fluttering eyelids and hitching breaths overtook him. Still, he attempted to stutter an apology.
"So...sorry... c-caught me... hah... hahah... huh... huhhh...?" He stood frozen for a moment then sighed as the tickle ebbed away again for a moment. "Sorry. You caught me at an awkward moment there."
"Dust?" asked James sympathetically, moving towards him.
"Y-yep... huh... hah... hah... HahHAH... oooh...goddamnit!" The sneeze left him again and he huffed with annoyance, to James's sympathy and amusement.
"Poor you. I seem to remember you were similarly bothered this time last year when we first met."
"Don't remind me," groaned Brandon, cringing at the memory. "It's the s-same every year un... unfor... unfortunately..." He rubbed a finger under his nose and shook his head impatiently. Wearily he smiled up at James. "Sorry. Hi." He leaned in and gave him a tentative kiss on the lips, which James responded to more than willingly. "Mmm... hi. I've missed this," he murmured against Brandon's mouth.
"Me too."
"You look great. Very tanned. I'm jealous."
"Croatia was pretty amazing, I can't lie."
"I'm glad you had a good time."
The kiss deepened and Brandon gave a soft moan of satisfaction and relief. There had been a small part of him which had feared that the time apart would cause one or both of them to reassess or change their minds about a potential relationship.

James responded enthusiastically to his moan, pressing his body closer to Brandon's and backing him up against the shelves. "Mmm... Mr Evans," murmured Brandon flirtatiously, "how unprofessional of you."
"You're right. I should stop."
"Don't you dare."
Their lips crashed together again, any tentativeness long gone. It was fierce with desire and longing. James let out his own low moan of sensual pleasure.
After another minute of this Brandon gasped out, "J-James... ah... James..."
"Mm... yeah..."
"N-no, James, I n-need... need to sn-sneeze..."
Quickly James released him and Brandon twisted away to one side, fumbling urgently in his pocket for a handkerchief and bringing it quickly to his face.
"Huh... huhschmpf! Hahschmpf! Ahhh... hahschew! HehASCHeww! Ohhh, thank god."  He sighed with relief, then laughed. "Sorry. I guess we've established that sneezing is a bit of a third party in our relationship?"
"Mm... I'm not complaining," murmured James, pulling Brandon close once again.
"Still enjoying them huh?"
"Not just that. I've spent a summer fantasising about being close to you, kissing you, holding you and... well lots of things." He blushed a little. "The whole drive here this morning I couldn't stop thinking about seeing you. I should probably be a little more focused on work but..." He shrugged self-consciously.
"You drove here yourself?" Brandon asked softly.
"Oh. Yeah - my counsellor and I discussed some strategies to help me cope when... you know, if I get anxious. I've been driving a bit more every day over the last little while. It's not always been easy but... I think I'm getting there..." James spoke a little uncertainly, clearly still not entirely used to being so open. Brandon knew the effort this honesty cost him however and rewarded him with another kiss. "I'm proud of you," he whispered in James's ear.

They stood in each other's embrace for a few more moments before James pulled away and said in a brisker tone, "Anyway Mr Alexander - you have cruelly distracted me from my purpose in coming to see you."
Brandon imitated James's mock serious countenance. "Oh? So it wasn't just to kiss my face off and put me into a state of semi-arousal for the rest of the day? Do tell."
James placed his hands firmly on the other man's shoulders. "I would very much like to take you to dinner tonight. Would you like to?"
"What do you think?" Brandon smirked, pulling James to him by the waist in a way that made him heady with desire.
"OK then," he said in a somewhat strangled tone. "Then I'd better go. I've got work to do and so have you. And I'd like to leave some things for a more romantic setting than a school cupboard."
"Fair enough," said Brandon, letting him go reluctantly. "I'll see you later."
"Can't wait," said James with a wink before heading out, leaving Brandon leaning back against the wall, breathless and trembling with anticipation for what might be to come later on. He shook his head, trying to clear his overly stimulated mind and continued with his task of organising the cupboard, smiling to himself as he did so. It was going to be a good year.

[Not Telling]

Welcome back!! I hope you're doing alright. ❤️ This was a perfect ending! I'm with James, Brandon's sneezes are adorable, and definitely my favorite so I'm very happy to have them make an appearance in this update. The kisses were so hot!! 🔥 I love the mirror/full circle ending with James coming into Brandon's classroom as he's preparing for the start of term just like what started this whole journey but this time it was complete with kisses as well as sneezes. 🤭 It wraps it up so nicely in a pretty bow! I'm smiling so hard right now, I'm so glad that everything worked out for these two and they got their happy ending. Definitely, if you feel so inspired I would love to see more of Brandon and James. Thank you for this beautiful story! I will definitely be returning to it often.