Love/Hate Relationship

[Guest]

Hi everyone! I'm new here and posting this is actually kind of terrifying. But here goes nothing!

So, i would be one of those lovely lurker people that have been sneaking peaks at this forum for a year or so now and just convincing myself that, yeah, it's an indulgence, but I could stop having this fetish at any time. And I think I'm finally beginning to come to terms with the fact that I'm lying to myself. Blatantly, obviously, LYING to myself. I really can't deny the evidence and I guess I'm trying not to want to anymore. I mean, my boyfriend is leaning against me and he sneezes and it feels like lighting shoots through me. I've got a story book I wrote when I was in 3rd grade that involved a curse that made people sneeze. (And although the curse didn't make the characters muffle their sneezes into each other's shoulders, I had that in there too ) And I had a cousin who could make herself sneeze by running her finger down her nose and she used to lord it over me as a reward. (If i was nice to her she'd let me do it.) So, I'm pretty sure I belong here.

But the reason why I'm posting is because I'm having HUGE amounts of trouble actually enjoying this fetish out in life. It's all fine and dandy in the confines of my room with only myself, but when it comes to other people...I'm all twisted up. I find myself praying that when I'm with my boyfriend he doesn't sneeze, because its started making me angry. If he does it on the phone with me, when I hang up my mood is shot to hell for the day. I feel uncomfortable and pissed off. I know he doesn't do it on purpose, even though he's the one person in the world I've managed to tell about this. He's really a sweetheart about it and he doesn't bring it up a lot and he doesn't even look at me when he does it and i bless him. but it's KILLING me inside. Like the self-loathing I still feel because of this just turns into anger and resentment towards him and the whole fetish. Even when he's sick I can barely make myself hang out with him because I'm so afraid he'll do it. I don't want this fetish to hurt my relationship and the fear of it is getting close to crippling.

Has anyone else felt this way? And if you have, do you have any suggestions for fixing it? I mean, If I'm going to have this feitsh...I'd really rather enjoy it, ya know?

-LostGirl

[And Beat Him When He Sneezes]

I can understand. All three of my fetishes are centered on things one encounters in life every day. And while I'm often delighted to encounter them, I'm also often horrified. There have been days when I just keep running into them over and over and over again, and it just elevates sexual tension to unbelievable levels, though on such days I usually don't have time for that. People who often exhibit the behaviors being fetishized give me strong emotional reactions--if they're unattractive, I can actually get to hate them for abusing something so beautiful and sexy with their filth; and even if they are attractive, I more often than not come to view them as a cruel tease and feel inexplicably annoyed even as I'm grateful for the pleasant diversions they provide. It's a difficult thing, but I don't think I'd trade my fetishes to be free of it. It's never affected a relationship for me, though, so I don't know what to tell you. Sorry.

[chui]

first off, hiya! and welcome. have some cheesecake, and pull up a beanbag with the rest of us.

second, ive never personally felt this way...so im not sure exactly what to say.... what about it makes you angry?

many people are uncomfortable with their fetish, in fact, id venture to say a majority of the members here have dealt with at least some worry during the course of their time with this fetish. some people grow more comfortable about sharing with other people over time, others prefer to keep it private. neither way is "right" or "wrong", but its never good to have something always make you angry or upset.

[Elle]

I think I can understand what you mean. Although not with the boyfriend, I think by telling him I caused a mental block or something. But with other people sometimes it doesn't turn me on so much as freak me out especially with relatives, like my dad who has awful year round allergies and sneezes all the time, but I don't get angry as much as upset about. But sometimes I just want to say to people "stop it!" your freaking me out with your sneezing because the sneezing is attractive but the person is not. It's a strange paradox to be most often turned on by something but sometimes respond negatively to something.

As far as hating yourself for having the fetish and causing lots of bad emotions to come up. Well I have some simplistic advice that may or may not help you but often for some people, like me, when I get pissed off at myself or feel whatever towards myself it is triggered by very speicific negative thoughts so to conquer the feelings that sneezing is causing you, you might try positive thinking. It sounds kind of ridiculous but that's kind of what I did to be more comfortable about my fetish. I thought stuff like I'm a freak,There's something wrong with me, etc. And then whenever someone sneezed I would try to have a different mantra like There's a whole forum of people with this fetish I am not a freak or I bet no one else here can get turned on by something so ordinary, ha they should be jealous. Sorry for this being so long, hope my rambling is somewhat helpful.

[chui]

I bet no one else here can get turned on by something so ordinary, ha they should be jealous.

this was my first reaction to finding out about the fetish (as i wasnt born with it, i "caught" it) and its something ive said to pretty much everyone ive told about the fetish. i think positive thinking can really help relieve tension and anxiety about something (if it is an internal struggle)

any updates LostGirl? are you doing any better?

[Having Trouble]

Hi Lost Girl,

I can't believe I'm posting right now, but I am. I just want to say: Thank you for your post. I can relate to what you're going through in a very big way. I've actually been browsing the forum more frequently lately hoping to read something from someone along the lines of what you're saying in your post. I relate to a great deal of what most people here have to say, but not so far as my significant others go. And not so far as how absolutely crippling the SF can be for me. I'm not sure what to say, or where to begin - but I'll try. Here goes.

I've been a SF for as long as I can remember. Since I was maybe 7 or 8 years old, and I'm in my late twenties now. For me the fetish is intense and ever-present. Sometimes it's stronger than other times, and for the most part I've really been able to progress as far as my ... let's say "setbacks" with the fetish go. I found the online community when I was 21, and it was like: "AMAZING! I'm not crazy!" A huge relief, and a rush of energy and excitement ... and then a playground, more or less. I didn't realize how much of a burden the fetish would become for me in later years, as I was attempting to have real sexual relationships.

Yes, the fetish always CREEPED me out when it came to family members sneezing in my youth - but I had for the most part grown thru that. It became easier in regards to family, and of course as I grew older I became more able to control sexual urges and all that. I worked hard at only allowing the fetish in at appropriate times, and in moderation ... and then: I fell in love.

I can relate perfectly to that feeling of "lightning shooting through you" when your boyfriend sneezes. It is the single most awful feeling in the entire world. I had to end a long-term relationship several years ago because, among a few other reasons, my SO sneezed so frequently that I couldn't handle it. It makes me feel totally disempowered and terrible and like I'm falling apart. And of course, despite my promising myself that I would never again open up to another person, I met someone new and fell in love. Now I'm in another serious relationship. My SO doesn't know about the fetish, and I really feel I'm at a crisis place with it. Even writing this post makes me feel like I'm lying, or being deceitful. But I don't want to talk about it with my SO. I don't want it to be a part of my sexual experience, or of our relationship. I'm sick of feeling trapped, or jealous, or whatever. MAYBE if it didn't bug me so much when my SO sneezed then I wouldn't mind the fetish, but right now I would just like for it to go away.

In conclusion, I don't know if this helps. I just know that after so many years of never acknowledging and never imagining I would write, I had to write. Because I'd been waiting to hear from someone that could relate to my experience, and it helped to hear from you. So maybe it might help to hear from me, to know that you aren't alone, and to know that someone else finds the fetish a constant challenge, too.

Thanks for listening.

[Guest rezeensy]

I am fairly new to the fetish board and have had a few struggles I delight in the lightheartedness and joy that many experience and it helps me really explore and enjoy my fetish. I however have not told anyone other than a former and I mean many years ago boyfriend. I know I have had this fetish as far back as 4 years old at least and most beople here have. this means it must be natural at least to us. we should not beat ourselves up over something that is natural. I also started wondering if people have fetishes to other typically nonsexual things and thanks to the web I explored and I found a sight about hiccup fetishest and their experiencesd are much the same as things we struggle with that just says even more this is natural to thoses of us with it and we should not punish ourselves. I hope you come to embrace the SF.

[Guest]

Oh God... Wow... I don't know what to say. Thank you all so very much though. Many of you for just trying to understand and help, and Trouble for letting me know I'm not alone. (Thank you so much for that!!!!)

There has to be a way to work this out for us. Maybe together we could come up with something. Oddly enough my boyfriend just came over for a visit and brought up that he'd googled "That thing I don't like to talk about" and he was trying to reassure me It's not as strange as I feel it is inside. The fact that I flip out everytime he reminds me that he knows upsets him and he wants me to be okay with this part of myself. And since he's been so adamant about it I've really been struggling. I joined the forum because of his sudden desire to help me through this, thought maybe I could take a few steps on my own. But still, it's so weird that even after all this, I still don't want him to sneeze around me. And after reading everyones different responces I've given it a lot of though as to why. I've thought maybe it's because he knows about it but ignores it when it happens. So I feel like I should ignore it too and then start to freak out when for the next hour I hear and see him doing it over and over again in my head. And then I've thought, maybe him acknowledging it would help. Like he would acknowledge slapping me on the ass or something as an action that might get me worked up. and that if he played it off like the tease it was I would be able to enjoy it that way. Then I thought of my fantasies and realized that NO I could NEVER let him bring this into our sex life, even to tease. As much as I dream about it, if it were to actually happen I would...oh man...i don't know.... leave the state. I'm with you Trouble, although a part of me might be sad to lose some of the fun I've had with it, I really wish it would go away. It eats at my thoughts whenever my S.O. happens to do it and no matter how hard I try to move on, I can't. I've even gotten to the point of repeating the most asexual thing I can think of (which at the moment happens to be "Skittles" candy. I know...I'm ridiculous) over and over in my head when it happens to try and stop my responce. I don't want to replay it for hours. I don't want to hear him doing it in my head when we start to mess around. It's just so intrusive and I can't control it. Sometimes when I'd like to just be turned on by him and him alone, it creeps up in my thoughts. Ack, I hope this doesn't sound whiny. I really wasn't going to say too much more about it but If I'm not alone then maybe sharing my thoughts about it can help.

Basically, I feel like I'm stuck on a fence. I either fall to one side and learn to enjoy this inherant part of my sexual being, or I fall to the other and somehow mange to rid myself of it altogether. Because this dancing in the middle thing is just too rough. But can it be denied? Is there a way out? And do I really want a way out or will these feelings go away with time as I come to terms with everything? Some of you seem soooo happy and at peace with it and partly I feel like I want that too. Haha. Actually, right now I kinda just want to sit down on the damn fense and split myself in two. Make both sides happy.

Man, what a dump that was! I'm sorry for being a downer about this. I'm really not trying to be negative. I feel bad for putting something like this out there in a forum of people so content with it in themselves. And honestly I'm not expecting any responces. I'm not sure how any of you could respond to this since I don't really know whats going on with me or even what I want. I just thought thinking out loud might help a bit. And thank you, thank you, THANK YOU so much for listening to my ramblings.

-your ever-appreciative and insanely mixed up,

LG

[chui]

oh sweetie, dont ever feel like you have to apologize for how you feel. we're here for you, even when you don't know what exactly is going on. we may not be able to help much, but you're not alone. feel free to dump anything you need to. there are so many different people here, from so many different backgrounds and with different views of the fetish. we wont look down on you for where you are coming from, and what you feel, and you may run into someone who can really help you, someone who's been there before. i hope you do.

[Guest rezeensy]

Chui, you put that so wonderfully, and lost girl I hope you keep working through this. I was so happy when I found the forum just because I knew I wasn't alone. And believe everyone comes to terms in different ways. Heck I.m almost 15 years older than you and I'm just dipping my foot on the SF side even though I know it's been there in the back of my head and in my fantasies. I choose not to tell my partner for now only because I kinda like the little mystery of that just belonging to me and the first BF I told didn't get it but sometimes neither do I. Your BF sounds so great. Men generally just accept what women say or feel or dismiss it all together but for him to want to research and try and make it okay for you shows he really cares. I hope you can learn to appreciate who you are.

Remember some of us straddle the fence for a while, some balance on their toes and fall where they might and other jump right over the fence and into a pile of tissue of SF happiness but even though the end result seems happy and Embracing the fetish the was there and may still be there to some degree for many of us.

Thank you for sharing and helping others who are somewhere around the fence.

[Having Trouble]

Hey LG and everyone else -

I didn't realize how much writing the post I wrote yesterday would actually feel like "coming out." It has, and it has helped immensely. So I'm just really grateful for everyone here, and for everyone being present and patient with everyone else. Thank you, everyone!

And thank you LG, again, for writing. Seriously. Please don't apologize for what you're feeling. (Please don't!) I'm reading what you're saying about how it feels, and what you're going through with this, and I'm like: "Yes. Yes. Yes!" We're totally, unbelievably in a very similar place. Totally. Unbelievably. AND I bet we can put our heads together and figure out how to get through this. Of course we can, right?

For instance, the SKITTLES idea is perfect. I'm going to try envisioning a glass of milk whenever my SO sneezes. Or a dumbbell. Or a stick of glue. Oh, I dunno! I'm so all over the place with this.

I can definitely relate to feeling that the fetish is intrusive to my sex life. I mean, really intrusive. When I'm kissing my SO or when we're having sex, I want to be turned on by her - and I don't want to be thinking about, (or YES - replaying over and over again), the last time she sneezed - or when she sneezed yesterday or the day before or the day before. (I do that too! If my SO sneezes I can't stop thinking about it, and picturing it for hours. Or days even!) And yes, sometimes it's nice to have the images. But I just don't want them - I don't want to need them - I don't want to feel prisoner to them. I want to be turned on by my SO and I want to be present in our relationship. I TOTALLY pray that she won't get sick, and when she does I find EVERY reason to not be around her. (I HATE that.) And I don't want to live in fear of her sneezing, every second of every day.

I do want to say that I've found a ton of fun and pleasure through the fetish. Again, I've had this fetish since I was a kid. Really little, so I've never known myself without it. It turns me on and sexuality is a big part of me. So going through LOATHING the fetish, like right now when it so powerfully and negatively affects my relationship and my psyche, is confusing. Because I DO want to GET RID OF THIS THING! But also I don't, I don't think. You know? Because who would I be if I didn't find sneezing profoundly attractive? I don't know. I wouldn't be me, that's for sure.

So, where do I go from here. I guess it's been hard for me to feel a part of the community, but to also feel different in this way. Because I'm not just turned on by the most important person in my life sneezing. I'm set into a full on panic over it. And that's tough. Really, really tough. So, I guess if I could ask a question it would be: If you find your SO's sneezing to be a total turn on, how do you do it? What do you think when they sneeze, and how is that pleasurable? And do you have any advice for those of us who feel upset or maybe jealous or shut down and panicked when their SO sneezes? (Does that make sense? I hope so!)

Maybe if there were some answers out there, LG, it might help us to start moving through all of this.

Thanks again for listening, everyone!

[chui]

So, I guess if I could ask a question it would be: If you find your SO's sneezing to be a total turn on, how do you do it? What do you think when they sneeze, and how is that pleasurable? And do you have any advice for those of us who feel upset or maybe jealous or shut down and panicked when their SO sneezes? (Does that make sense? I hope so!)

Maybe if there were some answers out there, LG, it might help us to start moving through all of this.

Thanks again for listening, everyone!

Well, the first thing i would have to say/recommend to both of you, and indeed to anyone who has a similar discomfort with their fetish, before you can become comfortable with a SO, you must first become comfortable with yourself. when you can accept, and then embrace the fetish, you will be more likely to be able to enjoy it. its not a fast process, and some people never manage to reach that level (im not trying to be discouraging, i promise) but if you work at it, and keep trying, you will make progress. If you can spend some time alone, thinking about it...and hopefully...can find exactly what about it makes you so agitated, you can then work on that area, and hopefully overcome. once you are ok with the fetish in yourself, you will be able to experience it with other people.

but, keep in mind, you are not alone, and there are those of us here who will be there for you through every step you decide to take.

[Sneesee]

Honestly, I didn't read everyone's responses, but I do know that a lot of people have suffered some anxiety, and guilt, and other feelings associated with this fetish. I have had my own issues with my hubby, and he's done a few things with the fetish that made me angry. I've also felt guilty for enjoying sneezes belonging to other guys besides hubby. I've also felt guilty enjoying someone's sneezes when they don't know. I have fetl jealousy over this fetish. None of these were strong enough to overpower the joy of finding others like me, and being awakened to the fact that I do have something somewhat unique, and should enjoy it. And I've made such wonderful friends because f it, I wouldn't trade it for any other fetish out there! Hope this helps!

[Guest]

Just a couple of thanks...

Chui, thank you so much. I love how this site is just as much about support as it is enjoyment. Just being able to talk about this openly is really helping me think things through. If anything I'm glad I have this fetish specifically just to have conversations with such a great group of people.

And Trouble, if I thought there was any chance you lived somewhere near me I'd ask you out for coffee. Seriously. Not one thing you've said hasn't been true for me also. And although I'm not happy someone else is as bothered by this as I am, I can't tell you how good it feels to know I'm not the only one. When I first posted and no one was relating I thought I was a lost cause. Thank you!

-LG

Oh and a sidenote just for fun! The boyfriend that I said's been bound and determined lately to help me, sent me three websites that he thought would be good for me to look at. (Thank God he didn't stumble across this site yet, although I'm not sure how he hasn't. I haven't told him yet about joining.) But he made a comment telling me that I should make sure to look at the one in the middle, because it was really good. So when I opened the email and saw Tarot Girl's website I had to laugh. Because honestly, which of us hasn't at least browsed her site if not thoroughly gone through it from top to bottom like I have. ...oh if only he knew....

[Guest]

Hiya LostGirl,

I think what you're going through has been experienced by a lot of people on this forum - so you're definitely not alone. I've felt that irrational burst of anger and upset sometimes, when people (even my crush a few times!) sneeze, and I still don't really know why. It makes me feel really guilty afterwards as, because obviously there's nothing they can do, and you can't even tell them a lot of the time why you feel angry, you just have to hope they don't notice and that you aren't mean.

For me, I'm pretty sure it's got the same kind of cause as why a lot of people hate family sneezes (me included!) Sometimes, when you aren't in the mood at all, or you know you can't do anything about it, anyone sneezing just raises tension massively, and you just wish to God they'd stop, or that you could be somewhere else. I remember when my crush got sick, me and my friends were all camping together, and for the first day or so it was all relaxed and I was finding it really cool that he would sneeze around me, but then we had to work on this show together, and I got stressed and felt pretty lousy, and whenever he sneezed or coughed or whatever I'd just want to leave or get angry even though it was no fault of his. It was like...I don't know...someone trying to flirt with you really extremely when you just ARE NOT in the mood, and it just bugs the hell out of you.

I think being comfortable with your fetish would definitely help you to be more relaxed about people sneezing around you - obviously if you aren't comfortable, then you're never going to be in the mood, so it's likely to annoy you more...if that made sense...

Even if that's not the cause, I'd definitely recommend trying to embrace the fetish (which it sounds like you're doing with your bf's help, which is lovely), because at the end of the day, it's a part of life, and it can be a really enjoyable one! I'm not sure about the psychology of it all (there are many people on here who know a lot more about that), but I'm pretty sure if you have the fetish, you have it full stop, and repressing or trying to deny it just causes you more pain and tension about it all. I wish you the best of luck, and it sounds like you're getting lots of support from your bf, which is great, and obviously you'll always get support from here if you need it.

[chui]

you know, i forget sometimes, when i suggest that people "embrace their fetish", how hard that can actually be for some people. I'm glad that you have a bf, LG, who is supposrtive of you, and I hope that he can help you become more comfrotable and accepting of this area of your life. They say anything is easier, when you arent alone.

[resolution]

And I had a cousin who could make herself sneeze by running her finger down her nose and she used to lord it over me as a reward. (If i was nice to her she'd let me do it.) So, I'm pretty sure I belong here.

-LostGirl

If I had a friend like that when i was a kid she would have owned me.

[Having Trouble]

Hi Lost,

Just wondering if you were still around, and how things are going for you.

A maybe impossible question, but: there any way I can contact you directly? I tried sending you a message on this board, but to no avail. Just wanted to keep talking a bit, if you felt open to it.

Anyway, hope all is well with you!

HT

[Guest]

Hey HT,

No idea why your message to me didn't go through, but I'd love to talk some more about this with you. I've been ridiculously busy lately and have fortunately been enjoying my bf's healthy streak (knock on wood) and haven't had to deal with this too much lately. But I also know I haven't fixed anything yet because now when I find myself even thinking of "sneezing" or the word "sneeze" in my head when I'm around him, I get paranoid that somehow by my thinking it it'll happen. (Because he's been so healthy lately, i feel like one little thing could tip the scale. And I know people on here have lightly joked about thinking of someone sneezing and then they do.) So i'll quickly fling my thoughts in another direction. Seriously...if this goes on too long or in all my reltionships I think my sanity will be in danger.

Everyone else,

Just a quick bit to the rest of you that have been responding still and trying to help, first off thanks! And in reply to a few theories I've been given, I don't think it's quite the same thing as the family sneezes or not being in the mood to be turned on. I'm right there with you on hating the family stuff. And I understand how my feeling upset would make sense if I'm not in the mood to be romantic. But the thing is, even if I am in the mood I still react the same way inside. I wish it were just specific to the moment.

Right now my only hope of salvation in this whole thing is that my current bf is moving away at the end of the month and we've decided to continue on our relationship as friends only. (Which, not going to lie, is going to be one of the hardest things I've ever tried to do, but we have our reasons.) And since he's the only person who knows about the fetish, I'm praying that the next relationship I have, this might not be as much of a problem if the guy doesn't know. However the fact that it became enough of a huge thing for me that I felt I wanted to trust my current bf with it, makes me wonder if I won't do it again the next time. GAH! Watch me get trapped in my own cycle of torture... And on that perky note, I'm off. Hope those of you who are Mom's and celebrate the Holiday had a lovely Mother's Day!

All the best,

LG

[chui]

LG and HT,

while we really do want you guys to be able to interact, and talk out of the "public" arena, we do not condone the posting of personal information out here in posts where anyone can see them. There are areas within the member profile for the posting of emails and messengers. We suggest you use them, once you are able to.

You are both currently still in the validation period (based upon number of posts) and once you have finished this, you will be classified as a member, and will be able to edit your profile, as well as send and receive PMs. This is just a security measure for our members, and gives us a chance to keep the sharks away from the minnows.

In the meantime, keep posting, and keep your noses clean, and you'll be through validation in no time.

LG-im sorry to hear that you and the bf will be moving to a new facet of the relationship, but i do hope that it works out for you, and helps you to process things.

[Candy]

Hey LG and Trouble...

While I don't have those exact feelings now, I have had something similar in the past. When I told my first boyfriend, his reaction was basically, "Um, ok....whatever." And when he'd sneeze, I'd freak out. I'd love it, and hate myself for loving it cause it made him uncomfortable, and eventually I'd just sort of cringe everytime it happened. I know it's not exactly the same, but I can tell you one thing that helped me...Talking about it with my boyfriend. Not that one, but my current boyfriend, who is one of the most understanding people I have ever met. I was very uncomfortable with myself and my fetish when we started going out, and very much wanted it to go away. But now I feel that I can accept it as a part of me, albeit a strange and sometimes inconvenient one. One thing that I think really helped was to examine my fetish completely and try to identify exactly what it was that turned me on. Of course I can't say that this will work for you, but it might be worth a try.

[Having Trouble]

Well LG -

Looks like we've been stripped of our right to privately communicate. That is unfortunate, as I completely hear you in regards to your "sanity being at risk" if these crazy mind games continue. I'm right there, too.

It's just, I know in my "sane mind" that the way my GF's sneezing makes me feel is CRAZY. But, that doesn't stop it from holding me prisoner. My GF is not going through a healthy streak, so it's a little bit harder I guess. I just feel like I'm dying inside, and I really don't understand any of it. Why can't I just switch up the way I respond to her sneezing? Shouldn't this be easier?

On a side note, Chui:

Isn't the point here to further investigate this fetish, and our own personal experiences of it?

I think it's fair to say that LG and I have proven ourselves as positive, honest, open members. How many more times do we need to post in order to be allowed to contact one another privately? I fully appreciate your desire to keep it safe on the boards, but maybe some consideration for a less strict validation process might best suit the needs of the community.

No hard feelings at all, just responding.

HT

[Guest]

...I hope the number of posts is somewhere close to 10. Because truthfully, I'm still kind of uncomfortable talking about the fetish in general (outside of needing to talk about it because it's affecting me negatively) and I wouldn't know what to post. Unless it's acceptable to post somewhere about the weather, I doubt I'm going to rise to member status quickly.

Bleh.

Actually HT, it seems we both write in rather large installments at the moment... Would it be cheating to just write less more often? Make one post 3 instead of one? It'll be annoying but if we just need sheer number, since I doubt either of us is going to start a riot or do anything else inappropriate on here, it might be some sort of a help. ...Or how about a round of "20 rather-ambiguous-fetish-related Questions"? Nothing too personal and we'll still be talking about something relavent to the site in general. I'll ask, then you answer and ask etc... (Ha! this is so ridiculous. But I do understand the intention behind the rule, and since I don't think we have much of a choice...)

Q. 1- Have you ever told anyone about the SF? (Or have you ever come close?)

(feel free not to jump on board with this, it's just an idea. And since we want to help each other, I don't think it'll hurt to get to know more about how we each deal with this fetish. If you've got any quick posting ideas lay 'em on me. I should at least be able to check this site once every other day, if not once a day.)

[Having Trouble]

Hey LG,

Ha! Yes. Definitely, yes.

That comment about having to post in regards to the weather because what else is there to say about all of this was hilarious.

And so I am seriously on board for a thorough round of "20-rather-ambiguous-fetish-related-Questions" - it actually sounds rather fun - so here goes.

A1.

I have told someone about the fetish. My ex, actually. But I never mentioned the word fetish, and I didn't really elaborate all that much. I said something like, "I think it's sexy when you sneeze," and it peaked her interest. But very soon after telling her I realized releasing the secret didn't help at all. She didn't provoke the issue and I felt that I didn't want to either. I wasn't about to get into how TERRIBLE it was for me - I wasn't about to tell her that it made me feel like I was dying inside every time she sneezed, you know? It was just too hard to explain, and too confusing.

I don't know, but maybe realizing how hard it would be to ACTUALLY get into all of it with her - in that conversation and then afterwards - set something bigger off inside of me. Like it started to freak me out even more. I agree with you fully that this panic is something entirely different than that feeling when a family member sneezes. That's more like, ugh. Apathy or grossness or something. This is worlds colliding. This is falling off your rocker and finding yourself at the edge of some personal apocalypse, and then suddenly you're back on your rocker again. This is an internal war.

But, I'm sorry. I totally digress.

There's so much more to say about all of this, but I'll save it for later. And as for now - onto our next question. (Is it my turn to ask? I think so. I'm gonna go ahead and ask and hope that I'm right about the rules here.)

Q2. Have you ever told anyone other than your boyfriend about the fetish? And when you told your boyfriend, what did you say?

(Okay that's more than one question. You don't even have to answer the actual question if you want to talk about something else.)

Looking forward to hearing from you, LG.

HT

[chui]

HT and LG:

well...our rules really aren't that strict, especially if you consider the number of sharks and trolls we have encountered in the past. We really have the best interest of the community in mind. I understand that you are not necessarily comfortable talking about your fetish, and we do not wish anyone to feel pressured to speak of personal elements.

But I'm sure you can understand, we have quite a few people to protect here, yourselves amongst them. Did you know that these posts are open to anyone? Including the public? Guests can view these threads, without even being members. And if you leave your email address out like that, anyone can use it to contact you. We set these rules up to keep you from being harassed from the mass public (not as some evil and twisted manner of tormenting the distraught newbies...promise...*scouts honor*) Which is why we prefer members to only exchange personal info through their profiles and the PM system.

And there really is no set number to end validation, it is based upon overall contribution (in the form of posting) behavior (number of warnings) and attitude (are you a positive influence in your posts, etc). I think your idea of playing "20 questions" is a good one. It gives you a chance to interact with other people, on your terms, and it lets you build posting/behavior points. I hope that this will allow you both to come to a better relationship with the fetish.

Please, be patient, and continue to interact. It wont be too awful long.