This. Was. Amazing.

[Not_Telling]

You guys are awesome

[Not_Telling]

OH WOW OH WOW OH WOW

ASAUSIVCADSKJLCBOAWIUSHCIAW

I DONT KNOW I DONT KNOW I DONT KNOW

GUYS YOU GUYS STUFF HAPPENED SO MUCH HAPPENED ITS BOGGLING MY MINDDDDDDDD

HE WHAT I DONT WHAT I CANT I CANT HE WHAT OH GOSH I DONT KNOWWWWW.

Alright. Stuff happened. My speech is now incoherent. No, he did not tell me he liked me. But stuff happened that is very interesting and confusing and stressful and makes me nervous and hopeful and doubtful and flustered and GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Okay guys, listen up. Because I am about to tell you EVERYTHING.

Ohhhhhhhh gosh.

Okay.

*Takes deep breath*

I'll write this in story-writing mode (but it all actually truly happened). I'm going to start at the day he told me about his "girlfriend" and branch off from there. Okay? Okay.

Two Weeks Ago

The doorbell rang. I bounded up from my seat at the piano, knowing exactly who to expect when I opened the door. I turned the knob, and, sure enough, an adorable ginger stood right in front of me. A smile etched it's way across my face as I stepped aside. "Monsier.." I gestured as he walked in. "Quaint," he replied, in a goofy accent. This is a cute little thing that we do. Whenever he take him back to my house after our class, where his mom usually is to pick him up, I rush over to open the car door for him and we do that little 'Monsier' thing.

I checked the time. 3:20. There were about 25 minutes before he, my mom, and my sister had to go to their first class, and before I had to go to tumbling. We made our way into the living room. The television was on. He sat into one of the armchairs facing it and I sat on the armrest next to him. Soon we got into a little conversation about our lives and whatnot.

So we were talking and chilling, nothing seemed abnormal at all. His phone was in his hand, lights on, and his thumb made little swipes across the screen. I wasn't really that curious, but I asked him anyway what he was doing. He glanced at me and casually said, "Texting my girlfriend."

...Oh.

My heart immediately fell. That...was a complete shock.

I tried to remain casual. "You have a girlfriend?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"I...didn't know you had a girlfriend."

"Well, yeah, because it actually kinda happened today."

"...Oh."

He explained what happened.

"Well, our Homecoming is next Saturday, so she was kinda trying to be subtle and..." Blah blah blah he talks about how she tried to be subtle asking him and stuff, "...so I think we're going to Homecoming together."

"...Oh."

Brief moment of silence.

"So, uh, what's her name?"

"Izzy."

"Cool."

Oh my god. I was soooooo freakin sad.

Right about then is when they left for the first class and I left for practice a little bit after.

That Night

My dad was driving me from practice to my fitness kickboxing class. I hardly said a word. "Something wrong?" he asked. "Nah, I'm fine." I replied. I swear to you, from the moment he told me and two days later, I could not speak louder than a low whisper.

After we had arrived, I stepped out of the car. I took a deep breath and began walking towards the school. There were about 15 minutes before our class, so my mom went inside to start setting up or whatever and I walked to the stone area (from the first post. you know the one) where Christian was sitting on that ledge. "Hey." He greeted me, as if nothing had changed at all.

"Hey." I responded quietly. Everything had changed for me.

I sat down on the ground and leaned against the wall with my knees up. I looked down at my knees and didn't say anything. Christian looked up from whatever he was doing and put it away. His face showed genuine concern. "Hey, are you okay?"

I nodded.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, m'fine." I mumbled. I was totally aware that I was being so quiet, but I couldn't really control it. I was so upset.

"Are you sure? You're acting a little weird."

You're acting a little weird. My mind flashed back. That first obs.

"I'm okay."

Pause. "Hey, this reminds me one time when you kept asking me if I was okay, and you said that I was acting weird-"

My mind froze in the midst of his sentence. That... that first obs. This was too much. I know it seems weird, but this was all too real.

During class, I kept my focus on my bag, or at least attempted to. Christian knew perfectly well that, whatever was wrong, I was not fine. He kept looking at me with that same look of concern until he decided it would be nice to try making me smile. Which was nice. Really nice. He acted goofy and silly and did everything horribly wrong on his techniques until I giggled a little. A smile shone on his face. "I see that smile! I'm gonna keep doing it..." he said slyly with that adorable look on his face.

I'm sure that in my earlier obs I have thoroughly exemplified to you how sweet Christian is. But i feel like I cannot exemplify it enough. He is so so so so sweet and I have never met a single person on this earth as sweet as he is. And I don't think I ever will.

Again, take note that I was totally aware of his concern, of my quietness, and of my surroundings. I was just unable to react or respond in the way that I normally can because I could not get this thought out of my mind and this weight out of my heart.

After Class

We were in the car, on our way home. My sister was going home with our dad, and I was going home with my mom and Christian. I never mind letting him ride shotgun, especially when there's always the chance that he may, for whatever reason, decide to sit in the back with me. We drove for a little while. "You're so quiet." My mom said to me. My mom is very observant. She knew something was going on. She actually has some kind of sixth sense when it comes to that stuff, which scares me a little sometimes.

Christian added, "Yeah, she's been quiet all night."

"Sorry." I mumbled. "I can talk. What do you wanna talk about?" My voice was so quiet and solemn. Ugh, why did I have to sound so depressed?

They starting asking me questions, like was I tired, or did something happen at practice.

Christian turned in his seat and looked at me. "She seemed pretty energetic when she answered the door this morning."

At that moment, my mom knew something I did not. Something I would find out nearly two weeks later. Something that has changed my perspective on everything.

There's more. There is so much more. There is so so so much more to tell you. Read the following posts.

[Not_Telling]

I've never seen that look on his face before. That look of concern.

[Not_Telling]

We arrived home. I got out of the car aand opened Christian's door. He waited with a grin on his face. "Come on..." I knew what he was waiting for and gave a small smile. "Monsieur," I mumbled. "There we go!" Christian smiled and got out of the car. Today was "pay day" for Christian, so he waited in his parent's car as my mom went inside to write his check. I followed her in.

When we got into her office, she shut the door behind her and demanded to know what was wrong. My eyes filled with tears. "He...he has a girlfriend..." Her expression softened. "Does he? I figured it was something like that." She gave me a hug and finished writing the check. I attempted to wipe away the tears and forced a half-smile as I grabbed the check and ran downstairs and out the door. I walked towards his car and handed him the check. "Here."

"Thanks." I hoped the darkness of the night had hidden the tears that were now streaming down my cheeks. But I couldn't tell whether he saw or not. After that I ran back inside and up to my room, where I cried for the love of my life.

I came down for dinner a little bit later but I didn't eat.

I wasn't hungry.

There is more There is more There is so so much more gosh there is so much more to tell you.

[Not_Telling]

Okay, a brief description of the week after he told me about his girlfriend. For the next couple days, I really was kinda depressing, I will admit. But my friends made it a lot better. I didn't really want to talk to anybody about it, though. In fact, I only really went in depth to one of my friends, one of the awesomest people on the planet. Yes, I know some of the world's most awesomest people. I guess I'm just that lucky, huh?

Kara.

I told Kara everything. Everything that was important at the time, at least. I didn't give her every little detail like I did with you all (your welcome) but she knew enough. She was the only one who knew that much. And she was shocked. She has never met Christian, but she really wants to. Partially because he sounds like an awesome guy and partially because she wants to scream at him "What is the matter with you?!". I love you Kara.

The reason I mentioned Kara is because later she will become a crucial part in the story. No, it's not a "story", it actually happened, but honestly guys my life is a story.

Alright, now let's fast forward to that next Tuesday, the week of Christian's Homecoming and four days prior to his Homecoming Dance. Now this is when everything started to get confusing.

I will type this next part tomorrow. It is very important though, so stay tuned!

[v a n i l l a]

ASDFGHJKL I must know more! :3

[rockbell]

Ditto!

[Not_Telling]

A Week Ago (technically a week and a half, but whatever)

By then, I had been feeling a lot better. Sure, I was still upset, but hey, at least I could talk at a regular volume now. Besides, it's not like any relationship he had would last forever. Right? Although, I will admit that when he rang the doorbell that day and I answered, it was the teeniest bit awkward. Not overly so, but just a little. Besides that, everything was pretty normal.

"Hey, Christian." I greeted him with a smile. He grinned and responded and stepped into the house. (Side-note: We don't always do the 'Monsieur' bit unless he's getting out of the car, so this wasn't different from normal). We kind of hung around in the front room for a little bit, since we only had a few minutes. Naturally, we started talking. He never said anything about the week before, and I figured he either forgot or decided that it wasn't too important since I seemed to be over it by now.

I wanted to find out a little more about his girlfriend, to be perfectly honest, but I didn't want to come straight out and ask. Instead, I brought up his Homecoming. "So, your Homecoming is this weekend, right?"

"Yeah."

"You excited?"

"Kind of. I don't really know if I'm gonna go or not."

Whaaaaaaaaaat?

I was confused, in case you couldn't tell. "I thought you said last week that you were going with your girlfriend. What's her name...Izzy?"

Ha! I remembered her name perfectly well, but I didn't want him thinking that.

"Well, see, she's not exactly my girlfriend..."

"She isn't?"

"No." He shook his head with an amused grin.

I was trying to wrap this around my mind, but it was getting increasingly difficult. He had said in exact words the week before that he had a girlfriend. Now he's telling me he didn't?

"So, to clarify, you don't have a girlfriend."

"I don't know! It's...confusing."

Confusing? Confusing? You think you're confused? I'm the one who should be confused!

He took on the same defensive tone as the first obs, when I was asking if something was wrong.

I began to ask, "Do you like her?" But I didn't finish my sentence before my mom interrupted and told him it was time to go.

That afternoon, I talked to Kara on the phone. She was just as confused as me. What kind of mind game is he playing? Do you think maybe he said that he had a girlfriend to see my reaction? To make me jealous? Did they break up? Am I just insane? Whatever it was, she thought it was pretty messed up. I didn't know what to think. I was having some serious trouble wrapping my mind around this.

This was a mystery. A mystery of love. And at this point, Kara had decided that she was going to be my detective, and help me solve this mystery. All I had to do was gather clues. Easier said than done.

That Night

Surprisingly, not that much important stuff happened that night. He didn't say a word about his "girlfriend" at all. Nothing. And he didn't act any different than normal either. I sensed no tension in him whatsoever. Of course, there was that tiny bit of awkwardness intertwined with his presence, but I waived it off as nothing. I could hardly notice it, and I figured it was just me.

In the car on the way home, the topic of Homecoming came up again. We asked Christian about his again and he said that he might go with a group of friends or alone. Nothing about his girlfriend ever came up at all. Not once. Not even since then.

This stuff just got weird. Really weird. And it's about to get weirder.

[v a n i l l a]

Moooore! O_O I'm so curious about your love life. XD

[Not_Telling]

@ v a n i l l a : lol thanks I know isn't it interesting? I should write a novel about my love life

Okay guys. Now we are going to fast-forward again to a week later, which was this past Tuesday. This was the day that I learned of what my mom had known since that first car ride back. It may not seem all that exciting to you, but for me...let's just say this is the first time I have actually legit hyper-ventilated and been reduced to stuttering words and freaking out, without adding any purposeful drama. In other words, I actually hyper-ventilated and stuttered my words involuntarily. Who does that? Like, not on television? Ah, but I digress.

This past Tuesday - 3 Days Ago

"Monsieur!"

"Quaint!"

We laughed. It was another Tuesday. Tuesdays had always been my second favorite day of the week. Why? Because Tuesdays were Christian Kickboxing days. Now, Tuesdays had another title. Mystery Tuesdays. Yup, love is a mystery all right. I know it's corny, but it's true.

We hung out in the front room. There were about five minutes before we had to leave. Of course, I absolutely had to ask:

"How was your Homecoming?"

Yep, he went to Homecoming. With whom? I didn't know. But I was about to find out. He smiled, obviously excited to give me the details of his Homecoming.

"It was really fun, actually. I went with a group of friends..." He continued to talk about his night and I noticed that not once did he talk about Izzy, or a girlfriend, or anything even remotely close to that. He talked about how some idiot guy wanted to get in a fight with him, probably to make a scene or something, but (thank god) no fighting actually occurred. Then he got in the zone. "There was a point where I did get kind of 'out of it', I started singing really loud to the music and it was really funny..." He described it more into detail, and god it sounded like so much fun. Christian doesn't go to my school, unfortunately.

"Gosh, I wish I could've been there!" I said.

He then got a little shy. "Well, I probably wouldn't have done it if you were there. (referring to the singing aloud)"

"Why not?"

"Well..."

Was that a blush I saw?

"It's just a little different when I'm with you...I dunno, I'd probably be too embarrassed..."

Is anyone else confused? Now, if he hadn't told me he had a girlfriend two weeks ago, this would've just made my day that much brighter. After all, I had originally thought that he liked me. What was his whole bit with the "girlfriend" about, then?

For the rest of the day, he said nothing about his "girlfriend" at all. Nothing. This wasn't surprising at this point, but confusing all the same.

Kickboxing wasn't that important. Just your normal, run-of-the-mill fitness kickboxing class. Oh, but nobody showed up except for me and Christian, so that was a nice little bonus

Alright.

You ready for this?

This may just blow. Your. Mind.

Or you may not be surprised at all.

That Night (after he had gone home)

I was thoroughly confused. My dad and my sister had gone to bed, so I was just in the living room with my mom, watching My Little Pony and chilling. (If you're not a brony, you probably won't get this next reference, but it's not crucially important.)

We were watching the Grand Galloping Gala episode, the part where Rarity spots her "prince", and my mom started cracking up laughing. "That's so you!" she exclaimed. "When you see Christian!" We watched it a little longer and she confirmed her statement. "Yep, that's you all right! Look there's Christian!" Yeah, yeah. Ha ha. I was blushing so hard because it was 100% accurate.

"You know, actually..." We paused the episode. "Christian hasn't said anything about his 'girlfriend' since two weeks ago. He told me she's not really his girlfriend, which is weird because two weeks ago he said in his exact words that he had a girlfriend. Now he says he doesn't? And he didn't go to Homecoming with her either! You were in the car when we were talking about it. He never said a word about her." I basically told her about my confusions and she gave me a knowing smile.

Whenever she gives me that smile, I get really scared. And I have reason to be scared.

"You know he knows right?"

"Knows what?"

"He knows you like him."

...

"N-No! No! He doesn't know! He- what? No! I refuse to believe this! I- No!" I was beyond mortified.

"When you were being quiet, that's what set him off. He knew it bothered you when he told you he had a girlfriend. That's why he didn't say anything. He knows you like him."

"B-but st ft btt tfft bft utt..." I stuttered. Involuntarily. What?

My mom was actually kind of amused. She told me she knew when Christian noted on how I had been "pretty energetic that afternoon".

"He knows. Oh my god. He knows he knows he knows I can't believe he knows Ohhhh my Gooddd......

I NEED AN ICECREAM!"

I went to the fridge and got an icecream, and returned stuttering and freaking out. The rest of the night I could not stop bringing up the fact that he KNEW. He knew he knew he knew he knew he knew he knew he KNEW!!!!!

"Ohhhhhhhhh my God I can't believe he freakin' knows."

I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't

deeeeeeeeep breath

The next day, I cannot thoroughly expand upon. I pulled Kara aside during lunch and talked to her. But I started stuttering and freaking out and hyperventilating a little.

My reaction was so weird that I don't want to post it here because I cant I cant I cant I cant I cant......

BECAUSE IF I DO I MAY GO MENTALLY INSANE WITH THIS MEMORY.

Maybe I'll post that full snippet here later because honestly that was television worthy. I don't think I have ever freaked out quite like I had. The whole ordeal left me quite dizzy and light-headed.

He knows.

He doesn't know I know he knows, but he knows.

And now you are caught up. I am a little bit scared about what is going to happen next Tuesday. I know I am going to start freaking out. I know something incredibly climactic is going to happen. Is part of me excited? Maybe. Do I particularly want to freak out in front of Christian?

NO.

But I feel like it's going to happen.

And I have no idea what will happen resulting from it.

I don't even know exactly what I am going to do.

I guess we'll all just have to stay tuned.

[v a n i l l a]

Why is your love life more interesting than mine. XD Well, actually, I could probably write a pretty successful novel about mine, but without the sappy happy ending. XD

[Not_Telling]

Why is your love life more interesting than mine. XD Well, actually, I could probably write a pretty successful novel about mine, but without the sappy happy ending. XD

lol yeah come on, v a n i l l a, sappy happy endings are so played out XD

jk Im sure your love life is awesome

[v a n i l l a]

Nah, but it's alright. I needed to get over my crush, so it's better that I found out he doesn't have feelings for me now rather than later. We can drown in the sea of confusing and stupid guys together! :3 Though I do hope that it all works out with you and Christian! :3

[Not_Telling]

Nah, but it's alright. I needed to get over my crush, so it's better that I found out he doesn't have feelings for me now rather than later. We can drown in the sea of confusing and stupid guys together! :3 Though I do hope that it all works out with you and Christian! :3

Lets hope so!

Gah! I'm so nervous!!

[v a n i l l a]

I'll be praying for ya! ;3

[rockbell]

OMG!!! i hope your story has a happy ending! he sounds like he likes u too but just didnt think u liked him back so he got a girlfriend, when he told u and u were all quiet he realized u like him back and ......!!! just my thoughts good luck

[Not_Telling]

OMG!!! i hope your story has a happy ending! he sounds like he likes u too but just didnt think u liked him back so he got a girlfriend, when he told u and u were all quiet he realized u like him back and ......!!! just my thoughts good luck

thats kinda what im thinking too. And thanks yes I do hope it works out

[rockbell]

i hope so too Not_Telling but if my own experiences show me anything its that boys are always less complicated then we make them out to be

[Not_Telling]

Tonight was... surprisingly anti-climactic. Sort of.

I'll explain more tomorrow. I totally would've freaked out though, that is if I would've gone to kickboxing, but my dad didn't take me the kickboxing because my mom decided not to have kickboxing that night because Christian had a choir thing and nobody else showed up.

Tomorrow I'll explain what happened this afternoon. I was so close to freaking out, I swear. I got light-headed from deep breathing.

[rockbell]

cant wait!

[v a n i l l a]

Spilllll... O_O

[CuteSneezeGirl]

OMG! This was SO cute!!! It's almost too amazing to believe... X3 You're so lucky!

~CuteSneezeGirl <3

[Not_Telling]

Hi guys! So nothing extremely climactic has been happening. However, I will briefly tell you what happened last night. Last night was my Homecoming and i was so excited for it and everything. I got all dressed up and went to my school, but they wouldn't let me in. I thought they would be selling Homecoming tickets at the door, but they weren't, and they said I wouldn't be able to get in. So that completely SUCKED.

So I went home, and I was all sad, and my parents were asking me if I wanted to do anything else. I said, "I dunno."

After I moped for a little bit, an idea struck me.

Basically...

ICalledUpChristianAndAskedIfHeWantedToComeOverAndWatchTheSeventhHarryPotterMovieWithMeAndHeSaidYesAndCameStraightOverAndWeWatchedItTogetherAndItWasFunAndMadeMeHappyAndHeSaidThatWhenHeGotMyCallHeCouldn'tSayNoAndThatMadeMeJigglyWithJoy

"When I got your call, I just couldn't say no. Well, I could say no, but I didn't want to."

That's it.

Nothing Climactic.

It was fun.

[Not_Telling]

Something INCREDIBLY climactic happened. I don't wanna talk about it right now though. But it was INCREDIBLY climactic. A lot more stuff happened, and I did something that had to be done, and now there is no going back. I'm not sure how I feel about that, or where it is going to lead. But it is very important. So I'll post later, when my head is a little more clear.

[rockbell]

take your time! clear your thoughts there is no rush