Two Opposites

[ID2006]

Excited to see more interaction between the two of them and to see where you take this. 

[glitter_]

Hey guys! I'm very sorry for my long absence. I've been very busy studying for important exams, but I'm all done now and back with the new part. Hope you can all forgive me and enjoy this next part. Much story, not so much sneezing. I'll make for it in the next part. I promise. Feedback and suggestions are - as always - highly appreciated. 

@ickydog2006 I hope you like the new developments 😉

Chapter 21

 

20 minutes later Kaya turned into Upton Avenue, thanks to Marcel’s detailed descriptions. Her steps quickened as she approached her friends’s house in the midday heat. Visiting Theo and his roommates was exactly what she needed to forget about previous events.

 

The sun reflected on her damp, sweaty skin as she walked through the front garden and climbed up the stairs. She rang the doorbell, only to notice that it sill hadn’t been fixed. So instead of trying again she knocked on the door, which got opened by Theo’s brother a few seconds later. “Hi!”, Marcel greeted, pulling Kaya into a warm, friendly hug. “Come in.”

 

Smiling thankfully, she followed him into the house, taking off her slippers so as not to look suspicious, because she normally only wore them inside the house. After all she hadn’t been able to change into normal sneakers because she had been in too big of rush to even think about putting shoes on.

 

“You should get that doorbell looked at. It isn’t working”, she gained Marcel’s attention before her slippers could. “That’s Theo’s job. He can repair everything. He just hasn’t gotten to it yet. He has been very busy applying to jobs these past days .”

 

Kaya tried to swallow a big knot in her throat, without success. She felt guilty about Theo’s uncertain job future. “Well, come in”, Marcel repeated, guiding her through the corridor with a subtle hand-gesture. Kaya’s anticipation to see Theo after their last meeting, which had changed everything between the two of them, distracted her from the traumatizing first half of the day. She couldn’t wait to hold him in her arms again, to touch, feel, kiss him. The second half of the day could only get better with him in it.

 

Arriving in the living room her hopes got crushed a little though. All of his friends sat at the big, old table, playing cards and enjoying themselves. But Theo was nowhere to be found. “Can I get you something?”, Marcel asked. “Tea? Coffee?” “A coffee would be great, thanks.” “Milk? Sugar?” “Black and... instead of sugar cinnamon, please.” “I don’t think we have cinnamon. Theo is very allergic to it.” Oh. My. God. How could she possibly be so stupid and forget? “Oh, right, then... I guess sugar is fine, too.”

 

Nodding, Theo’s brother went into the kitchen, focusing on his task. “Hi, Kaya!”, the whole group shouted from behind their selection of cards, they desperately tried to hide from the others sitting at the table. “Come on! Sit with us”, Blake encouraged her, tapping on the empty seat between him and Niquita, where Marcel had probably sat before. Shrugging, she squeezed herself into the chair circle.

 

“Where is Theo?”, she asked as casual as possible. “Upstairs”, Niquita answered in her thick accent. “Okay. And... and what are you guys playing?”, Kaya asked, even though she’d already gotten everything she needed to know. At this point she was just trying to make small talk. “Up Down”, Trevor replied, way too focused for it to actually be just this stupid party game he had mentioned.

 

“But this is just the starter for tonight”, Flora explained, giggling at the low chances of her boyfriend, on whose cards she had caught a glimpse. “Hey! No cheating”, Blake said in mock-shock, giving Flora a quick kiss on the cheek. Staring at their cuteness, Kaya instantly wished, it would be Theo and herself sitting next to each other, laughing and acting like an old married couple. But that seemed far away.

 

“Tonight?”, Kaya finally asked Flora, trying to ignore her playing with Blake’s blonde hair. She could easily be annoyed by other people’s happiness. “We like to preparty before the other guests are here”, Trevor replied. “So you’re throwing a party?” Everyone at the table nodded enthusiastically. “Is there even a time when you’re not throwing party?” All of them shook their heads vehemently, which made Kaya burst out laughing. It was the first time she had laughed on that day.

 

“Hey, what Marcel do in the kitchen?”, Niquita asked, clearly not content by Marcel’s absence. “He is making me some coffee.” “He what?”, Flora exclaimed, the excitement in her voice unmistakable. “Marcel! É capaz de fazer-me também um café?“, Niquita shouted in the direction of the kitchen. „Of course, beautiful!“, he shouted back. „Could you make one for me, too?“, Flora asked. „And for me?”, Trevor echoed her while reorganizing his deck of cards. “You can make your own coffee!”

 

“Traitor. How dare you put Kaya and Niquita before us?” “He is right though”, Kaya said. “You can make your own coffee.” “Impossible. Once you drank Marcel’s coffee you will accept nothing but Marcel’s coffee”, Blake explained. “Come on, it can’t be that big of a difference”, Kaya said in disbelief. “It is”, Flora assured her. “You must taste it for you”, Niquita agreed with the others. “You must taste it for yourself”, Trevor helped the Brazilian woman out.

 

“I’m gonna help him. I’m the only reason he is making it in the first place.” Kaya got up and went into the kitchen. For a second she was totally baffled by the intense aromatic smell that invited her. It indeed smelled more flavorful than any coffee she had ever drunk.

 

“Can I help with anything?” Marcel jumped in surprise. “Woah, didn’t hear you coming.” Kaya giggled. “I’m sorry. My voice is loud, I know.” “No worries. I don’t think it was because of your voice. I’m always like this in the kitchen. In my own world.” “Yeah, I heard you are a cook. You work at a restaurant, right?” “Yeah. At a Latin American restaurant as a chef. But before that I worked at mulitple cafés, including the one Leila works at right now. You were there with Theo, right?” “Yes. So that’s why you don’t just make magic food but magic coffees as well.” “I don’t know about the magic part but yeah... Here is your coffee”, Marcel laughed, pouring the coffee into colorful cup and sliding it over to Kaya.

 

“Can I help you make it for the others?”, Kaya asked, picking up her cup. “I already made it for the others”, he said, smirking. “And besides: you can’t just expect me to show you my magic recipe.” “Got it.” Kaya curiously took a small sip from the coffee. She immediately had to put it down afterwards. That was how shocked she was by its greatness. It tasted sweet and bitter, and oh so aromatic she could literally feel every ounce of her taste buds reacting with pleasure. Marcel’s coffee was so phenomenal that it made her mouth water with the eager want for more.

 

“Mmh, wow. That is seriously good! Now I can understand your friends, just... wow!” “Thanks.” ”What did you put in that?” “Well, that remains my little secret”, Marcel said, winking at her. “Marcel Estevo Pereira! Stop flirting!!!”, they heard Niquita shout from the living room. They laughed at that, probably for very different reasons. ”You are nothing like your brother”, Kaya remarked. “Yeah... We get that a lot. You are nothing like him either. Well, what do people say? Opposites attract. You sure are two opposites.”

 

What was that supposed to mean? Did Marcel already know? And if he knew, did he approve? Did Theo tell him about what happened between them? Kaya picked up the cup again, held on to it, hid behind it. “It is pretty obvious”, he said, shrugging, like they were talking about the weather. She definitely looked way more frightened than she intended, Kaya could feel it. Not only in her tense shoulders, but also in her shaking hands.

 

“It’s okay. I find it more than okay, actually. I think you’re good for him. I... I just hope you won’t hurt him.” “I would never...” “No, I know that. I didn’t mean mentally. He is not a fragile person. Actually he is the strongest person I know, but you’ll see that for yourself. I meant physically.” Kaya didn’t find an answer to that right away. Marcel had stated his last sentences more serious than Kaya had ever experienced before. She had never seen him not being laid back and easy going. The mood had shifted and Kaya was not sure that she liked the development of their conversation.

 

“Wh-What? I don’t know...” She struggled to get out all the words she needed, fear overcoming her. “I think you know”, Marcel said, stepping closer to her, voice lower and quieter than hers could ever be. “I would never hurt him on purpose”, Kaya said, already knowing what he was getting at. “You pulled him into that pool, didn’t you?” She nodded. “And you forgot that he is allergic to cinnamon, didn’t you?” She nodded again, more subtle this time, the guilt falling down on her like the waterdrops on a rainy day.

 

“See, it happens. It sill happens when he’s with his best friends.” Marcel gestured in the direction of the people he meant, while Kaya sighed relieved. The tone of Theo’s brother, even though intense, was not one of accusation but of worry.

 

“I’ve always been there right by his side. I know how bad it can get. Most people don’t. They find his weak immune system and his allergies funny or lousy or whatever. It’s a reason for them to pick at him until they truly experience what he sometimes has to go through because of it. Intense allergy fits, anaphylaxis, asthma attacks, bronchitis, pneumonia, name it. I’ve witnessed all of it. So I’m just telling you as his brother, please be careful. Never underestimate his allergies or his colds, hell, he underestimates them all the time. But most important of all: never underestimate his asthma. It can be a real bitch. Theo is my best friend. Seeing your best friend go through so many lows healthwise can be really scary. This is not supposed to be a turnoff for you, well... I hope it’s not. I just want you to be prepared, that’s all. So stuff like pulling him into the pool doesn’t happen again.”

 

All Kaya could muster was stand there, trying to control her shaking limbs. Because she couldn’t think of anything intelligent to say, she took the cup to her mouth and nervously gulped down the entire liquid in one sip, immediately regretting her action afterwards. The coffee was way too good to not enjoy it properly, just like Theo’s company.

 

Theo. Kaya’s longing for him hurt so bad. She wanted to see him right now and leave all this bullshit, that was her life, behind. Her family problems, his health problems, about which’s seriousness she hadn’t had any idea before her conversation with Marcel. There were so many hurdles telling her to simply give up on this stupid want to be happy with Theo. But there were so many hurdles, the same ones, telling her to just try. Life was never easy and shouldn’t ever be boring. Kaya wasn’t trembling because of fear anymore. She was trembling because of excitement and maybe a little bit of caffeine intoxication.

 

“You can just tell me all the things he’s allergic to. And I will memorize them every night before I go to bed if that’s what it takes for Theo to be safe. I will do anything I can.” Marcel smiled. He seemed happy and proud. “You’re his first girlfriend that is reasonable enough to ask me about what he is allergic to.” “I’m... let’s not get it twisted. I’m not his girlfriend, not yet. We’ve just made out once.” “But you want to be?”, Marcel assumed, which made Kaya blush. “Y-Yes”, she stuttered, which made him smile even brighter. “Then you don’t have to worry about that. He talks about you every frickin’ second of the day, so...” “No he doesn’t”, she said in disbelief. That was just too good to be true, right? RIGHT?

 

Marcel let her words slide and continued with a monologue of pretty much every animal, fruit, nut, herb, flower, tree and perfume planet earth had to offer. It was too much for Kaya to remember on the spot. Marcel seemed to notice she was a little bit lost.

 

“It’s too much, isn’t it?” “Can you maybe write that down for me some time?” “Sure! If that helps.” “Great, because Theo will never ever give me such a detailed list like this again.” “I can imagine”, Marcel sighed, clearly annoyed by his little brother. “He is so reckless when it comes to his health. He is also very good at covering it. There have been times where he looked fine and literally told me he is fine just to pass out ten seconds later because he couldn’t breathe.”

 

Once again Kaya didn’t know what to say to that. The word hospital had ghosted around in her head the whole time. She just couldn’t muster up the courage to ask. Not that she was afraid of asking. She was afraid of the answer she might receive.

 

“Soooo... How is he right now? Why is he still upstairs? Doesn’t he know I’m here?” “He is okay, I think. Still a little stuffed and puffed from before. I think he doesn’t want you to see him like this.” “Then maybe I should go upstairs.” “You probably should”, Marcel said, smirking slightly. “Where is the coffee???”, Blake shouted from the living room, making the two of them laugh. It was the perfect way of loosening up the mood between them. “Maybe I should serve the coffee now.” “You probably should”, Kaya repeated, being as content with how easy they both understood and respected each other as Marcel was satisfied with their agreement.

 

Hopeful, Kaya turned around, making her way past the group of friends prepartying upstairs to the only person, that mattered right now. The only person, that was able to send away bad thoughts of her father hitting her mother, just because Kaya was too big of a coward to stop these thoughts herself.

 

Theo wasn’t in his room. He wasn’t in the bathroom either. That was when Kaya heard soft but steady piano playing coming from the only room in this house she hadn’t already been in. Gently she opened the door and stepped inside.

 

The room was plain but beautiful in his simpleness, as was Theo’s piano playing. There was no picture hanging on the white wall and nothing else but the black piano standing in the quadratic room. The only light the room had to offer came shining through the glazed ceiling. Kaya closed her eyes for a second, appreciating the warmth of the sun and the clear sounds, Theo produced by artistically flying over the black and white keys with his fingers.

 

She didn’t know much about music, let alone jazz music, but she knew that Theo was able to play the piano in a way that boiled up emotions inside of her. She listened closely, so as not to miss a single beat or even a single note. Theo’s play was so modest but complex and incomprehensible for her at the same time, it was fascinating, just like its creator. Kaya could have listened to this kind of music forever and ever, not because she liked it very much but because it was Theo who was playing it.

 

Suddenly though the music stopped and she opened her eyes in confusion. “Heh’GnTxxshew, hi hi... He’EgHhischiew, Heh’tdCXQch.” Kaya hadn’t realized how much she had missed the sound of Theo’s sneezes until he now succumbed to their itchiness. They not only made his breath flutter but her heart, too.

 

“Bless you.” Theo jumped. “Kaya. You’re here. Are you okay?” “Yeah, I am. That was beautiful. I had no idea you can play that well.” “Oh, that? That is nothing. Just some strumming.” “Of course.” He was so shy when it came to compliments. “How are you?”, Kaya wanted to know, stepping closer to him, gaping at his golden-brown muscular arms. “You look stunning”, Theo told her, completely dodging the question. Only Theo would describe her sweatpants-baggy-look with greasy hair and sweaty pimply face as stunning.

 

“You look pretty handsome yourself”, Kaya giggled, happy that they moved to the flirting-territory. Standing in front of him, she finally gave in to her desire to touch his gorgeous arms. She liked how she could feel his strong, pumping veins pop out of them and she liked how they were always slightly warmer than hers. Theo then pulled her into a comforting hug as if he knew, Kaya had lied when she had said she was okay. His vanilla body odor, which she adored so much, flowed through all her senses.

 

Their touch was so intense and intimate that the sudden abrupt loss of it seemed overwhelmingly uncomfortable to Kaya. As if something of herself was missing all of the sudden. Nobody had ever made her feel this way before. She was not mad though, because she already had a premonition why Theo turned away from her, which got confirmed a few moments later.

 

“KnGXHchoo, Hu’xxh’EISShhuue, Huh’hggTMkschu, ugh...Sorrrr... hehi... Sorry. Ha? Hah’shx, Hah’ngtshx, Ha’gcSSCHT. Excuse me, Kaya. I’m so sorry.” Theo had bent over as sneezy mess and turned around again as a sniffly mess. Yeah, she definitely wasn’t mad. But maybe a little annoyed. “What are you apologizing for, for god’s sake?” “For my frickin’ hayfever!” Hopefully he actually meant his painfully attractive hayfever. “I almost sneezed on you and then when you called me...”

 

He didn’t finish his sentence because he was too busy rubbing the irritation out of his watering eyes. It didn’t seem to work. They seemed to get pinker and wetter with every moment. His freckles bounced as Theo made a frustrated grimace. “It’s fucking embarrassing, alright?” Okay, enough was enough. “What do you mean? It is human to sneeze. Everybody sneezes!” “Right, so how come you’ve not sneezed once since we’ve known each other and I already sneezed like five hundred times.”

 

“It’s called allergies”, Kaya tried a joke. It didn’t work. “Easy for you to say. You are not the one who gets looked at with total disgust wherever you go. In the supermarket, in the bus, in the restaurant, everywhere!” “That’s not true”, Kaya said with conviction, simply because she couldn’t believe what Theo was telling her. “Yes, it is. People are grossed out by me. Look at your father for example.” “M-My father?” “Do you... he... Heh... of courrr’GKdschoo, Hi’ghYIHschiew... Hih’jhEEgdschyew, ugh... Do you really think I’m stupid enough not to notice?” “No, but that’s...” “So tell me: if I constantly get weird looks that are telling me I should be embarrassed about my allergies, then how can I not be embarrassed?” “Screw these assholes! I’m not grossed out by your sneezes. I...”

 

Kaya hesitated, the next words, she wanted to get out, suddenly sounding weirder in her head than ever, now that she actually was going to say them out loud. But her quick mouth didn’t really care. “I find them quite cute actually. Is... Isn’t it more important that the people you care about have no problem with your allergies than those randos on the street I care about you, okay? I lo... I like you, okay? And I can’t stand...” “Hu’EgghISSHuue, Hi’TTmnqshew, Heh’xxchoo, excuse me.” Wow, okay. “Bless you.” “You really don’t have to bless me, Kaya.”

 

That hurt. Not that Theo knew. But Kaya had always had such big complexes with blessing people. Now that she had overcome them Theo told her to stop. Maybe she didn’t want to stop saying it to the one person who needed it more than anyone else she had ever met. Not now. Not ever. It was a precious thing, as she discovered in this very moment.

 

“Stop apologizing! For real, just stop! I can’t stand that you’re tearing yourself down with something so natural, like...” Suddenly Kaya knew what to do to prove her point once and for all. “Look!” She took a few steps back and stirred up the dust, which was lying on the piano, proud of her being able to remember that dust wasn’t on Marcel’s list of things his little brother was allergic to.

 

Theo’s reaction was immediate though. His red nose twitched uncontrollably while his mouth opened and his breath hitched. With his chest rising and falling rapidly from all the allergens that had slipped in his airways he bent down forcefully. “He’xXxchioo, Hih’mmGDschiu... Huh’nnKTschew, Ha’cxschi.”

 

Four sneezes in Theo’s vocabulary equaled strong allergy. Kaya internally cursed herself for not thinking this through. Either Marcel had forgotten dust on his list or her memory was not as brilliant as she had thought it was.

 

Either way, her reaction was slow but inevitable. Dust was the only thing that could set her off. The tickle began in her throat than climbed up her nose. It took a little more before the familiar feeling of ants crawling in it finally settled. That was the end phase. Kaya knew she couldn’t hold it back any longer. “HHHHHHHAAAZSZSCHOOO!!!”

 

Normally she was uncomfortable with sneezing around other people with her earthquake-like release, but not around Theo. The dam between them broke in that second. Theo began to laugh which quickly turned into coughing and then into choking. Kaya decided to hysterically laugh over it so Theo would feel better about his crappy lungs.

 

After a long time laughing Kaya had to stop because she felt like her stomach would explode if she kept going. “Bless you”, Theo said, still gasping from all the laughing. “Thank you. See! I can sneeze.” “Yes. Can you do that without tearing my eardrums though?” “Uh... Excuse me, young man! Not everybody can have an adorable-ass sneeze as you! I don’t even know how you stifle. I can’t do that.”

 

Marcel was right. Not only their personalities were totally different but their sneezes, too. They completed the picture perfectly. Kaya and Theo truly were two opposites. Theo shrugged. “You find my sneezes adorable?” Kaya blushed. “Uh... nooooo?” “You always do that when you are nervous.”

 

They both sat down on the piano chair, while Theo began to stroke her leg softly. “Was that the first argument we just had?” “Hopefully it was our last.” “You silly”, Kaya giggled. “So are you going to show me how to play or what?”

~ tbc

[starpollen]

I like him.  Can I have one? ☺️

[missfemmefatale]

I really loved this part and can't wait for an update! 😁

[Privatedancer]

I just found this again and have been slowly reading all the way through di so I could savor it.  I love it.  You do a great job balancing the story with the sneezing.  I looking forward to seeing Kaya open up to Theo and to Theo comforting her.

[Kolen]

I LOVE DIS SO MUCH!! It's absolutely amazing and the way you write his sneezes- *melts* oml I just love your writing 😍🥰

[notsneezy]

This is absolutely amazing

[glitter_]

@starpollen Aaaah... Not fangirling at all, nope. Yes, you can have one. You can have thousands of Theos if you want!

@Yukkii I'm super glad you're still enjoying my story. Sorry for the wait but the update has finally arrived.

@Privatedancer I always worry that there is too much story apart from the sneezing so your post really calmed me down. Thank you! Kaya is a little bit slow with the opening up part but she'll get there. I promise :)

@Kolen You're so sweet!!! Thank you very much. It's so validating that you enjoy the sneeze spellings, too.

@notsneezy Thank you so much!

Wow, so many great feedback this time! Honestly, I don't know what to say. You guys really keep me motivated. Unfortunately it took me quite a while to finish this next part. Work has been very stressfull lately. The party will be the focus of the next chapter. This one is a bit of a filler. Still, I wanted to write a chapter where you could get a little glimpse on the reactions of Theo's friends to his allergies. If you have any ideas or suggestions (like certain scenarios or something) please let me know. I'd be more than happy to incorporate them into the story. I hope you all enjoy this next part and have an amazing weekend!

 

Chapter 22

 

They went downstairs and sat with the the others, who had switched from card to board games.

 

“You two’ve been gone forever”, Blake said, not even trying to hide the ambiguous smirk that spread on his face. “Well, Theo tried to teach me how to play piano. With the focus on tried.” “You weren’t that bad”, Theo tried to defend Kaya’s limited musical talent, which mad her smile. She appreciated him more for it than he probably noticed. For his humbleness, trying to downplay his own strengths to highlight the achievements of the people around him.

 

“Juntem-se a nós! Jogamos uma nova ronda”, Niquita said with an inviting gesture. “Com prazer”, Theo replied in that sexy Brazilian tone, that made Kaya want to melt every single time he used it. His voice sounded so different in the other language, more relaxed, more confident, like he wasn’t really at home in English and talking in Portuguese made him instantly arrive.

 

“What did she say?”, Kaya asked Theo, mainly to avoid all the curious, enloping glances that came her way. She was good at hiding behind small talk. “Niquita wants us to join in the next round”, Theo explained, pointing to the board. Kaya nodded, annoyed that she could still feel way more pairs of eyes on her as she was fond of.

 

“Anything else you guys were doing upstairs?”, Flora pressed in a joking manner, winking at them both. “Nope, just chilling”, Kaya said, just a tad too stiff.

 

As they started playing, the conversation moved on very quickly, away from their current unclear relationship status to the party guests arriving in approximately one hour, all the alcohol and weed that was going to be present and the unfortunate fact, that the broken pool thermostat was the reason for them not being able to swim tonight.

 

During their talk the only eyes that didn’t want to leave Kaya’s side were the ones from Trevor, who seemed to be more quiet and reserved as usual. Irritated, she refused to meet them, forcing herself to concentrate on the game she was about to lose.

 

“What do you do for living?” The question caught her a little off guard. She had been trying so hard to focus on anything but Trevor, that in the end she wasn’t able to focus on anything at all. “Hm? Me?” “Yeah, you”, Marcel said, smiling patiently. “I-I’m studying at the moment. I want to become a middle school teacher, maybe high school, I’m not sure yet.”

 

“Why teaching?” “How old are you?” “Which subjects?” “Which trimester?” “How do you pay for your study fees?”, came all the questions, crushing down on her like tsunami. It was sweet how attentive and interested Theo and his friends were. The only one who hadn’t asked her anything was Trevor.

 

“Uuhhumm...”, Kaya laughed nervously, looking anywhere but in Trevor’s direction. “Is this some kind of interrogation? Let’s see. The idea of working with teens is just amazing to me. I love how their minds work. The state of growing up, not being young and small enough to be a kid anymore, yet not being old and grown enough to be an adult, is arguably the most interesting phase in life. And since I would consider myself a teenager as well, because other than studying I have no plan in life, I’d say this job fits me. I’m 22 and... I have one year left of studying before I will get my master’s degree. I still live with and profit from m-my parents so I don’t have to worry about tuition.”

 

Although it only was one little stutter, one twitch, shorter than a second, one realization of what had happened earlier that day. It was enough for Theo to instantly notice and react. Softly, he put his hand on her thigh and squeezed a gentle You okay? Kaya didn’t let herself sink into his touch as she so badly wanted to. Instead she ignored the presence of his hand completely and kept talking.

 

“That’s probably why other’s also think that I’m a teenager, because I still live with my parents”, she tried to lighten her own mood and to assure Theo there was nothing to be concerned about. Everyone, even Trevor, laughed a little bit at her joke. Everyone but Theo.

 

Unsettled, Kaya kept going. “Uhm... what else? Ah, yes. My subjects are physics and chemistry.” She had all of them gaping their mouths open at that statement. “Yeah, I know, I’m sorry. I’m a science girl. That’s just how it is.” “Science, huh? I heard only crazy, unsocial people are good at stuff like that”, Trevor said coldly.

 

That’s when Kaya knew he was jealous. She followed the direction of his look that clung to Theo touching her under the table. Her immediate reaction was to abruptly pull away from the touch. “Such a fresh surprise to see that not all science-people are savants, am I right?”, Marcel saved his friend’s tactlessness. Theo’s brother’s usual charm helped with loosening up the weird turn of the situation, but didn’t with Kaya’s oppressing unease.

 

Her luck never lasted long enough to even grasp it properly, because in the next moment it got already overshadowed by tons of other problems. Kaya awkwardly shifted in her chair. So did Theo, as she noticed right in this second. It seemed as if he was allergic to her uncomfortableness, as if his body had the mission to reduce her problems by turning the attention away from them, to make her luck last, maybe just this time.

 

He frowned, clearly trying to fight off the inevitable tickle. But no eye blinking, no nose wiggling could’ve shaken the sensation off, as strong as it manifested on Theo’s struggling features. His breath hitched uncontrollably, his head dove down to the crook of his arm, that caught whatever mess was going to come from his nose.

 

“Heeee, hih, hihihhhh... Huh’jYeniMKtshoo, Hu’gnxschiew, -GnQxchew, hah... Hi’ccttschoo, Heh’xxh... He’xxhschoo. Excuse me, guys.” They sounded so allergic, that Kaya knew there were more to come. “Hih’NjGDchiew... Ha’NyKTcheyw, Hah’eeGhhischiuu, ugh. I’m so sorry.” Called it.

 

Theo’s unwanted diversion worked it’s magic pretty fast. His friends started to overwhelm his shy, embarrassed soul with blessings and Trevor got distracted by it. “Meds still not kicking in?”, Flora asked, a worried wrinkle stretching across her forehead. “Dot quide”, Theo admitted nasally. “You need more, dude?”, Blake wanted to know. “Doe, dot yed.”

 

He was so congested, it was hard for him to form proper words without letting his fluids flow like a waterfall. Marcel realized and threw a pack of tissues across the table. Theo caught it and stood up to blow his nose in another room.

 

“He is always so discreet about it”, Blake said, copying his girlfriend’s worried expression. “I know. He still needs to learn that we don’t mind”, Flora finished the thought of her boyfriend. “He minds though. That’s what counts”, Marcel said, backing his brother like he always did.

 

“Wh-what do you guys do for living?”, Kaya asked, not wanting to talk about Theo’s allergies any longer. They were something totally normal for his group of friends but seemed absolutely intimate to her.

 

“I’m a cook but you already knew that”, Marcel answered her question, while Theo unobtrusively moved back to his seat next to Kaya and Niquita. After getting an absent reply form Trevor that he worked as an optician “Hah’XhXshx, Hih’MeGDdschoo, Hi’NiKTtschu... hihi... Heh’jeiiGhishuue... Hu’yiaKknchew, Ha’QxhgTschi... Ha, Haaah... He’JyYjeeiKscht, Hi’YjjYiigGheichuue... Huh’gnxxhd... ‘GxhxTqsh” that happened.

 

First, Kaya wasn’t able to sit still because of Trevor’s weird jealous behavior towards her. Now she couldn’t because of... other reasons. “Today is world allergy day”, Marcel joked lovingly. “Saúde. I have perfume. I can... away. Away?”, Niquita offered. “Você não precisa. Não se preocupe comigo“, Theo rejected in Portuguese, probably because he didn’t want to cause any fuss.

 

They kept talking. With many wild hand gestures from Niquita and very helpful translations from Marcel Kaya found out that Niquita currently worked as an African-Cuban dance instructor and choreographer and had taught children dancing classes in the past. “So you’ve been dancing your whole life?” “Yes. It is in my blood. My mother dancing when I was in belly. In her belly. She teached me.” Kaya nodded, interested. “And what do you prefer? Teaching or...”

 

“Hu’cSXhschiuue, ‘IXhmKD-isch, Huh’IsSshoo, *cough cough cough* sorry.” Everybody gave a little concerned glance in Theo’s direction. The crackle in his lungs was unmistakable. Now it was Kaya’s turn to squeeze his leg. You okay? Theo responded with a weak nod.

 

“Breathing alright?”, Marcel asked, his normally playful tone gone. “Yes”, Theo wheezed. “Should I get your inhaler?”, Trevor wanted to know, not really waiting for an answer, because he already stood up. “No thanks”, Theo said, standing up as well. “I can get it myself.” “You shouldn’t have to climb stairs right now”, his brother tried to stop him, but Theo didn’t listen.

 

He walked up, his hitching breaths following him like an echo. “Hi... Heeeeh... Heheeeeeeh... Ha’ENK’schoo... *cough* Hi’EiEghhichiew, Hih’XhSSQtdgk... *cough cough* Heh’kkschiew, *cough cough* He’Kghtshyew, hihi...”

 

To Kaya’s luck the ceiling and the walls muted Theo’s gasping and coughing, because that sounded scary as hell. Like a fish stranded on dry underground. “Where does this severe reaction come from?”, Flora wondered. “I have no clue”, Marcel said, worry creeping into his voice. “He is so stubborn”, Blake added, shaking his head in disbelief. “Is he gonna be okay?” Kaya couldn’t hold the question, that was guided by fear and uncertainty, in anymore. “Yes, this is nothing”, Trevor answered shortly but truthfully.

 

They kept making conversation. Kaya found out that Blake studied to become an Engineer and Flora worked as a marine biologist. But it was impossible for her to fully listen. Her concern even made her forget the awkward situation with Trevor, while her thoughts always wandered back to the one person she truly cared about. Theo didn’t return for the next ten minutes and before she knew it the first party guest knocked at the door.

~ tbc

 

[Privatedancer]

So happy to see an update!  I love how sweet Theo and Kaya are to each other and am dying to know what Trevors issue is…

[missfemmefatale]

Omg I love how shy he is about his allergies! It's so cute!

[Kolen]

D'awww. 😌😁 Theo is so cute! And wot in tarnation is wrong with Trevor. I wonder how he'd react if he knew about Kaya's kink..👀👌🏽

[glitter_]

@PrivatedancerLittle spoiler: Kaya and Theo continue being cute together and Trevor is jealous. But you'll see that for yourself.

@YukkiiAnd he is still is although Kaya tells him he doesn't need to be. So stubborn!

@KolenLet's explore that just a little bit, shall we?

Hello guys! I'm back with the first half of the party. Unfortunately no sneezing in this part but there will be in the second half, I promise. Maybe with a little angst, fluff and comfort. We'll seeeee. I'm definitely a sucker for that combo. But for now, I hope you enjoy. I'll try my best to upload the next part as soon as possible.

Chapter 23

 

Before Kaya knew it the party was in full swing. The lights were dimmed, the music was turned up and the people were intoxicated. It was extraordinary how fast Theo’s friends were able to switch from a cozy, matey to a wild, celebrating atmosphere.

 

Kaya squeezed herself through the mass of people not really knowing in which group she belonged. Normally she loved everything about parties. The socializing, the dancing, the drinking. She loved forgetting herself and everything surrounding her for a moment, self doubts, struggles and fears. But this night she couldn’t shake any of these things off as she walked over to the terrace, tearing the glass door open to get some air.

 

She sat down on the edge of the pool, staring down to the ground, through the turquoise water. Kaya felt that something was missing. This day was supposed to be one full of joy and happiness, but instead it had been one full of total terror and confusion.

 

As she got hypnotized by the way the water floated, her eyes became rigid and a headache forced itself into every twist of her brain. She shook her head, not liking the feeling of being dependent. Deep inside of her there was a hole that could only be filled by one person. And although Kaya had been in a few relationships before, she had never felt this pain before. This pain of missing a complete half of her body and mind. She was like a puzzle and Theo was the last piece which was missing, the only piece which fit.

 

Technically that should be a good thing, the longing being so incomprehensively big it could have easily been pictured as an unclimable mountain. But practically it was also a very dangerous thing, knowing her want for him had already become such an instinct, that she couldn’t afford to lose him anymore, not now, not ever.

 

The only way the night could turn now was for him to feel well enough to come downstairs. As if he had heard her prayers, Theo placed his hand on her shoulder. Kaya’s heart jumped. Ecstatically, euphorically, she turned around, looking up, only to find a drunk Trevor standing in front of her like an unclimable mountain.

 

She turned away, looking down. Trevor interpreted her behavior as an invitation to sit with her. So he did, swaying a little bit in the process of kneeling down. “Hi Kaya. Wassup? Wanna drink?” He stretched out his hand in her direction, spilling a little bit of the liquor he was holding on her pants.

 

Disgusted she shook her head, stopping in the middle of the action. Maybe the other option to enjoy the night was taking Trevor’s offer, losing herself in the magic effects of alcohol. She took the drink and gulped it down, welcoming the familiar burn in her throat as she did so.

 

“There we go”, Trevor slurred. “Much better.” “So, you’re that person at a party who loves to make people drunk, aren’t you?”, Kaya tried it with small talk, already feeling the alcohol prickle in her legs. “Actually, just you”, he replied bitterly. “Why?” “Drunk girls are more open to hook up with you”, he explained with a weak wink. “I’m sorry, Trevor.” “I know. It almost worked last time.” “I had no clue you were feeling this way.” “I tried to suppress it at first. I mean, I’m happy for you two, it’s just...”

 

He trailed off, suddenly finding the water even more interesting than Kaya did. “I’m not the one to complain, though. Theo had no luck with relationships in the past so he really deserves this. I run from one to the next, so maybe a break is exactly what I need right now.” At that he raised his cup and took another sip from the drink.

 

“I-I don’t understand how... I mean, how is he not in a long-lasting, loving relationship already? He is... just... so amazing. I don’t even know if I deserve him”, Kaya shrugged. “You dooo”, Trevor said tipsily, boxing Kaya in the arm. “And besides, it’s good that you see it that way because other girls don’t.” “What do you mean?”

 

“Well, at first everything was always fine until his allergies came in and... well, you know. They can hit pretty hard and most girls were grossed out or annoyed by them.” Kaya couldn’t possibly understand how any girl could find Theo’s allergies disgusting, when they were actually one of the best things about him. “I like his allergies.”

 

Kaya shook her head in an attempt to clear her thoughts. Was she already that drunk that she wasn’t able to control a single thing coming out of her mouth? Oh, yeah right. She had never been able to control that. Biting her lip, she regretted the words she had just disclosed to a practical stranger who had feelings for her.

 

She had never told anybody about her... her... Kaya didn’t even know how to name it. Her preference? Her kink? She shook her head again, getting a little dizzy from the throbbing ache.

 

Carefully she looked over to Trevor whose eyes were still darted to the ground but now had a slight glimmer to them. Did he know? Could he tell from her statement? “Is that so?”, he asked, grinning. Kaya’s heart sank deeper than the bottom of the pool. “Y-Yes”, she stammered. How about not being suspicious?

 

“I don’t see how anyone could not like them. They’re a part of what makes Theo Theo.” Trevor nodded, face expression content. “I’m glad you see it like that.” Her heart could pick up it’s normal speed and rhythm again. He didn’t know and if he did he was very good at covering it.

 

In that moment Kaya learned that having this... tendency was so much more than she had recognized. It was seeing the person, seeing Theo as a whole. With all the beauty but all the struggles as well. They became quiet for a minute, the only sound saving them from complete silence being the loud, bass filled music from inside the house.

 

“I should probably go inside. If Theo sees this... us together... This isn’t right. I’m sorry for dreaming about it for a minute too long.” People changed when alcohol took over. They became more honest, more emotional, more real. Trevor was about to get up when Kaya stopped him.

 

“Wait”, she said, unsure where this was supposed to go. People changed when alcohol took over. They acted more incautious, more thoughtless, more intrusive. Kaya leant forward, giving him a kiss on the cheek. She didn’t know why. She didn’t know if it was an excuse for not liking him back or a thank you for respecting her boundaries. Maybe she just did it to create one short moment of clarity in a life full of everlasting chaos and uncertainty.

 

“Kaya?” She only knew one person in who’s voice her name sounded so rich. She pulled back immediately, her instincts guiding her. “Theo. We... this is...” “You wanna dance with me?”, he asked, his voice raspy and weak, his smile warm and loving. “Yeah. I-I’d love to”, she responded, surprised at Theo’s unbothered reaction, wobbly standing up and making her way to the safety of his arms.

 

They went inside, leaving Trevor behind. What had just happened? What in god’s name was this day supposed to be? She had no time to think about any of that, as Theo took her hand and started to spin her around.

 

Her skirt twirled around her like a fire that had just been kindled. All she was able to perceive were the party lights and the people on the dance floor swaying in front of her overwhelmed eyes and the music vibrating in her body. It was an incredible feeling that could’ve only been surpassed by what happened next.

 

Theo pulled her close to his chest, sending little lightning bolts through every inch of her corpus. He felt oh so good. Warm against her cool skin. Muscular against her skinny frame. Steady against her shaking figure.

 

He smelled oh so nice. Like a summer breeze on a hot day at the beach. Like vanilla ice melting in the sun. Like a coconut falling from the palm trees. She buried her face in his chest, slowly sinking into him. She could feel his shallow breathing, accompanied by little crackles that made their way through his whole bronchus.

 

Before Kaya could worry Theo swirled her around again, creating a little more distance between them. Before she could be disappointed, he gently grabbed her waist, beginning to dance with her in a rhythm so unique, it didn’t fit with the music around them but with her heartbeat.

 

Theo was a great dancer, flowing and calm like water but at the same time drizzling and energetic like fire. Kaya was just there to enjoy the ride, adapting to it as best as she could with her limited musical talent.

 

After a while of letting him lead her on the dance floor, Kaya decided to take the lead for a moment by putting his always so respectful, always so polite hands down to her moving hips, positioning her arms around his neck and beginning to stroke his way too tense back muscles.

 

Her mind was all instincts and no thinking at this point. She felt goose bumps spreading on Theo’s neck, as he touched her in all the right places. A moan of pleasure escaped Kaya’s mouth. She couldn’t hold back any longer.

 

All her problems seemed to dissolve as she put her lips on his, disappearing in the moment. Theo welcomed her as if he’d been waiting for ages, softly but eagerly all the same. And there they were, standing on the dance floor, kissing and kissing and kissing like they’d never known anything else.

 

The lights and the heat flaring around them like chirping crickets on an electrifying, warm evening. The people next to them had stopped dancing, cheering them on happily. Kaya’s stomach threatened to explode from all the butterflies that were bouncing up and down in it.

 

Their kiss seemed to inspire others. Kaya noticed Blake leaning down to Flora, who giggled joyfully, returning the affection. Marcel winked in Niquita’s direction, whispering something into her ear he took her hand and led her upstairs.

 

Then she brought her attention back to the only person that mattered right now. She nipped at Theo’s damp upper lip, sending a shiver through his spine. Groaning, he sucked at her under lip, sniffling, making her sweaty from lust.

 

After an eternity they parted. Kaya tried to pull him close again, the sudden lack of body affection hard to bear, but Theo resisted. He turned away, creasing over, hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. On trembling knees Kaya took a step forward, putting her hand on his heaving shoulder, squeezing reassuringly.

 

“You okay?” “Yeah *cough cough* I *cough* I-I just think... ahem... I need a break”, he wheezed out, slowly straightening up. Kaya really wanted to help but didn’t know how. She just froze, watching Leila come from a dark corner of the room and take over.

 

“Easy. Easy now. Come on, let’s get some fresh air”, she said in a soothing voice. Carefully she grabbed him by the arm and led him to the front door. And with that Theo was gone and Kaya alone. Their moment had passed.

~ tbc

[Privatedancer]

I love this and look forward to a little angst, fluff and comfort!!!

[Kolen]

Gaahhh. Please post as soon as you are able to no rush tho and as usual you don't disappoint!! Keep up the aMaZiNg wOrK pLeAsE 🥺😘😎❤❤

[dominchoo]

Ahhh! so adorable! I love these two. Please continue if you want! (no pressure, ofc!)

[glitter_]

Hello beautiful people! I'm so sorry that it has been such a long time since I last posted. This part just took some time. Maybe you can understand when you read it. Hope you like it. I worked really hard on it.

Trigger warning for abuse!

@Privatedancer here you go!

@Kolen you're so sweet, I can't

@dominchoo thanks for your nice comment. Kaya and Theo are back! Finally!

 

Chapter 24

 

Kaya sat down for a while after that, trying to keep her heartbeat and emotions under control. Impatiently she waited for Theo and Leila to come back but they didn’t. Time passed quickly and she didn’t even notice reaching for one drink after the other. She didn’t know whether to feel jealous of Leila, because she exactly knew how to handle Theo’s Asthma, or worried because of Theo’s Asthma.

 

After drink number 6 or so she stood up, new energy suddenly rushing through her veins. She couldn’t just sit alone in a dark corner, drinking and being miserable and depressed, for the rest of the party. She had to become active, now or never.

 

On wobbly legs she stood and started heading towards the door, where the two had disappeared behind an hour ago. Unceremoniously, she tore the door open and with that her heart as well. Kaya saw Leila and Theo sitting on the landing of the house.

 

Fairy lights shimmered around them like little fireflies, that lit up the night sky. Intertwined with each other they lingered there, so hypnotized by the way they silently but urgently talked to each other that they hadn’t even noticed Kaya standing right behind them.

 

She had two options now but didn’t muster to think both of them through. Instead of going back inside slowly, closing the door quietly and acting like nothing had happened, she prepared for her mouth to take action. She just couldn’t stand seeing them like this, Leila’s head on Theo’s shoulder, his chin on top of her head.

 

“What are you guys doing?” Leila was the first of them to react. Wincing, she broke away from the intimate touch, turning around with a slightly frightened look on her face. “Kaya, this isn’t what it looks like. I just...” “Oh right, so what does it look like?”

 

Swallowing hard, Theo now also turned around. His movement seemed slowed and strained. “Kaya, we...” “Oh nonononono, don’t Kaya me. Don’t try to explain. I shouldn’t have... I thought that... I had a feeling that something was going on between the two of you. How could I be so dumb and ignore it?”

 

“Trust me”, Theo said, “there is absolutely nothing between...” “Oh wow. I really thought you were different. I really thought I could trust you. I almost wanted to break contact with you because I was too scared. I didn’t because I felt... I, I don’t know what I felt, alright? I’m so stupid. I’m so fucking stupid!” “You’re not stupid...”, Theo tried to get through to her but there was no chance on earth for him to come in.

 

Kaya was emotional. She felt everything at once. Anger, fear, grief, regret, uncertainty. She didn’t feel everything, just everything bad. And she was just getting started to talk herself into a never ending spiral of rage and self hatred. “I should probably go”, Leila whispered, her face crumbling to regretful pieces. Too late for that.

 

“Call me”, she said to Theo while climbing down the stairs. “Yes! Call her! Call that bitch! FUCK!” Tears prickled at the back of her eyes but she wouldn’t let them fall. It hurt like crazy to hold them back, like it hurt to hold everything else back that made her question whether she wanted to be on this planet.

 

“Didn’t you just hold me? Didn’t you just kiss me? Didn’t that mean anything to you? Because it did to me! It fucking did to me! It is the only reason I... I...” Her voice died down. Kaya began to gasp like a fish stranded on dry sand and to tremble like a leaf that was ready to fall to the ground on a golden autumn day.

 

And then the tears came without any warning. Theo stood up, his legs shaking like hers, only that alcohol had nothing to do with that. “Kaya”, he breathed, “what is going on? Tell me. You need to get it off your chest.” “What is going?”, she asked incredulously. “What is going on?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? You love her, not me! Nobody cares about me. Nobody will ever love me.”

 

Sobbing, she knocked away Theo’s comforting arms. “I don’t love her. She doesn’t love me. Well, not in that way. She’s...” “I don’t care what she is. I’m going home. Right now.” Theo held her back, gently and steadily. “Don’t go. I need you to tell me what’s going on.” “NOTHING! Nothing’s going on”, she lied, “and even if I had a problem I wouldn’t tell you. Not after what happened, so get out of my way!”

 

She tried to take a drunken step to the side, but she had no chance of escaping Theo’s grip. “Get out of my way! Get out of my life! Just go away already!” In the dark of the night and the bright of the lights around something seemed to fulfill her desperate wish. Small granules that escaped from the trees nearby whirled around them and finally reached Theo’s sensitive nose.

 

He pulled his arms back shakily, fumbling for a tissue in his jeans pocket. Finding one that looked already more used than it’s soft fabric could handle, he clasped it around his nose and ducked away with some uncontrollable breaths, which gave Kaya time to flee.

 

Stumbling and tumbling down the stairs so that the world around her made somersaults, she heard Theo surrender to the itch. “He’nxxHsche, Heh’ghYNshee, Hi’NkgTDchiew... Kaya, waiiiihHEeghhiSSHiew, ‘QxQxshi, ‘mKT’schoo.” It took all her willpower to keep walking after she took a halt and turned around to register Theo’s sneezing and his want for her to stay.

 

“Kaya!” She mentally forced herself to ignore his shouting. “Kaya! I... Hah’YnGtshx. I love you! ‘GxchHhiuu... Ha’EIYjiiKschioo.” Okay, never mind. She stopped in the middle of the street, turning around so abruptly that her stomach rebelled. Theo blew his nose and shook his head to clear his nasal passages from the rest of the pollen that was bothering him.

 

Then he jumped down the stairs, running towards her, probably afraid that if he wasn’t fast enough, Kaya would change her decision to wait for him. He arrived completely out of breath. “I love you”, he repeated, taking her from the hard alcohol sweaty hands in his from the permeable tissue snotty hands. “More than I can put into words.”

 

“Why are you doing this?”, Kaya whined. “Because I need you to know.” “What about Leila?” “What about Trevor?”, he countered. “There’s nothing about him.” “Exactly”, he said. “I trust you, so please trust me, too.” “But you two were so...” “That’s because we’ve known each other forever. We have so many struggles that we’ve gone through together. We understand each other, that’s all and besides... she’s not really into guys anyway.”

 

Kaya let that sink in for a moment. There were two potential answers to all the things Theo had just told her. There was the easy one, that Kaya had always used in the past to suppress all the risks and embrace everything good about words someone said. She had done it with Theo’s words in the past as well. That’s why taking the way of trust was easier in the moment. Ot kept the fantasy alive.

 

That’s why, in this very second, she chose the answer she was afraid of, because taking the way of mistrust would be easier for her to live with in the future. Kaya was so tired of being hurt all the time, she just couldn’t take it anymore. Forcing herself to leave the fantasy, she writhed out of Theo’s touch.

 

“The thing is. I want to love you but I don’t, I want to trust but I don’t. I’ve been disappointed and abused over and over again. I’m so sick of it. I don’t have any strength left in me. I... I just feel like a toy. Maybe that’s all I ever was. A toy for men to play with. It’s the same with my mother. Maybe it’s in the genes. Maybe I’ve got it from her. I don’t know.” “Wh-what are you talking about?”

 

Kaya closed her eyes, finally fully arriving in reality. She forced herself to continue even though she had never said the following sentences aloud to anyone ever before, not even to herself. But that was just the kind of person Theo was. He brought out the deepest emotions in her, that she only allowed to come out in his presence. And that was why he was so dangerous to be around and why this, no matter how unique and beautiful it was, had to end.

 

“My father beats my mother. I’ve been beaten and sexually harassed by my last boyfriend. Every time it got worse and harder for me to disconnect. Me and him were together for years before I had the courage to call our relationship quits. I don’t want to end like my mom, who is married to a guy she fears since the beginning of time. I’d rather be alone, even if that means I’ll never be loved properly. I-It’s just not worth the risk.”

 

Silence. Theo took a step back. Kaya’s words had left him speechless. All he could do was to lock his eyes with hers, catching a glimpse of her soul. His eyes began to water, not just because of his allergies. But also because of them. “Hih’NjKschew, Hu’NyGchiew, Huh’xqSH... snf.” He caught his usual set of threes in his shoulder. “I’m sorry.” “Bless you. Don’t be”, Kaya choked on her emotions, realizing once again how right it felt to be around him.

 

“No... not about that... for once.” He vaguely gestured in the direction of his nose. Then, trying to shake his embarrassment as best as he could, he looked up from the asphalt to the blue-green of her eyes. “I had no idea. I mean, I did, but not about how... I don’t know what to say... he... I...” “I know”, she interrupted him, so his sneezing didn’t.

 

“He’YeeghXxchoo... Ha’hgTksheyw, hu Hah’hkDgschi... snf. Thank you.” That was Theo’s magic. He noticed everything, let it be a microscopic hint, a gesture so small it wasn’t even visible to the eye. “You’re welcome.”

 

He came closer. She didn’t resist although the fear became more tangible. And then two words escaped his mouth. Two words, so simple, so banal. And yet so unexpected. Yet so life changing. Kaya would still remember them when she was long gone. They came out with a sad wheeze. “I understand.” Now it was her turn. “Thank you.” “Of course, snf.”

 

Silence. Again. Kaya took a step back. Theo’s words had left her regretting her choice. The distance was neither healing nor soothing. It was his coughing that ended the silence. “You okay?” “Yeah, just... *cough cough* too much sport.” Kaya nodded, listening to Theo keep coughing.

 

“You wanna sit down?” No reply, just more coughing, that became wheezier by the second. “Come one, it’ll help calm your breathing”, Kaya said, taking him by the arm, slowly guiding him to the side of the road. They sat down on the curb stone.

 

Lanterns flickered, birds chirped, cars rushed by and slowly Theo’s short breaths became less noisy and Kaya’s stomach less turbulent. “I have a very severe form of asthma. It’s hard to treat, even with high dosages of medicine. It’s the reason my dad’s dead. It’s the reason my sister’s dead.” “Your sister?” Theo nodded.

 

“My father was a drinker and a smoker. My mother had just given birth. I had my first asthma attack and my father was alone at home. With my little sister and I. He got so worried that he put us both into the car to drive me to the hospital. He got into an accident, because he was on drugs. The ambulance came too late. My father and sister were already dead by the time the paramedics arrived. They could save me, though. Brought me to the ICU with my asthma and several broken bones. Had to undergo surgery twice. For my arm...” He pointed to a scar on his left arm, that Kaya had never noticed before. ”...and my eye. Glass got into it and ripped my retina apart. That’s why I have such poor eyesight.”

 

“And your mom?” “Couldn’t handle it. She’s been in the same institution for people with severe depression and has never spoken one word ever since the accident happened. She’s on the same ward as Leila’s mother, that’s how we got to know each other.”

 

“I’m so sorry. I had no idea. Literally none.” “I know, it’s okay. I’m not tryna compare our stories in any way to make you love me or trust me or anything like that. I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone with your baggage. I’m always here for you if you need anything.”

 

And then they just sat there. Two opposites with the same amount of baggage. Two lost souls that had found each other. Two human beings, silently crying next to each other, tired and exhausted for entirely different reasons. Neither of them knew what to say.

 

Kaya through up all the alcohol along with her frustration, while Theo was there to hold her hair and forehead. Theo sneezed out all the pollen along with his shame, while Kaya was there to caress his back and give him all the tissues he needed. And then, after an eternity, there was his voice again. “Kaya?” “Yeah?” “Can I hug you?” “Yeah.”

~ tbc

[missfemmefatale]

Thank you for the update! I think their relationship is adorable, and I love how understanding Theo is about everything! I also like the fact that he shared what happened with him so that Kaya didn't feel alone.

[EveP]

I understand why this update took long - it's very strong and emotional.

[Privatedancer]

This is wonderful- thank you for the update.  I am so sad for Theo but glad he is now surrounded by close friends and his brother and hopefully love!

[glitter_]

Hello beautiful people! Merry christmas! I'm back and I know it's been a long time since I last updated... once again. I hope you can all forgive me for that and my grammatical mistakes. I reread my last post a few times and god, were there many grammatical mistakes. Gotta focus more before posting, gaaah! I hope it's better this time. Please leave feedback! That motivates me the most to keep writing. 

@Yukkii That's just who Theo is. Always kind, always understanding. I promise you that he will stay like that!

@EveP I'm really glad that you feel this way. It was supposed to be strong and emotional. Hope you enjoy the next part.

@Privatedancer Love? Let's see, shall we?

Chapter 25

 

It wasn’t the first time Kaya woke up confused. A wave of pain - sudden and unpredictable - washed over her. Feeling the memories from yesterday slipping through her consciousness she slowly forced herself into a sitting position. Examining the room, where she just woke up in, Kaya experienced something similar to a brain glitch.

 

The posters on the ceiling, the tools on the desk, the inhalers on the bedside table. Why was she in Theo’s room? And why wasn’t he with her? Oh. My. God. She hadn’t had sex with him, did she? Frowning deeply, she let herself sink back into bed, hiding under the sheets, her thoughts spinning around her like the rest of the world.

 

The last thing she remembered was that she had danced with Theo, then he had gone outside with Leila and she had sat down, drinking... and then... Had she really drunk that much? Shaking a bit, she began searching the bed and her clothes for some sign that she had slept with Theo. As she couldn’t find anything she tried to relax a little and think positively.

 

Theo wasn’t the kind of guy to exploit her when being weak, right? He wouldn’t make her very drunk to get her consent more easily, right? No, she couldn’t possibly allow herself to think about Theo this way. These accusations were stupid. He wasn’t like Sebastian, who had once put something into her drink... to... to, never mind. Theo wasn’t like him. He just wasn’t... Right?

 

Stop. It. Stop it right now. Kaya couldn’t afford to be suspicious towards Theo like that. Although she never ever could be a hundred percent sure she had absolutely no evidence whatsoever to blame him. The only ones to blame were the men in her life who had given her this trauma-induced suspicion in the first place.

 

As bad as she wanted to, Kaya wasn’t able to stop her mind from racing just like her heart, which picked up its pace even more as a noise at the door made her twitch. Without giving her actions a proper thought she forcefully closed her eyes, pretending to still be asleep.

 

Someone came in quietly and placed something on the floor next to her bed. Then that person carefully sat down at the edge of the bed. Kaya’s premonition of his identity converted into certainty as she felt Theo’s pulsating hand on her cheek. Rigidly she obeyed the familiar touch but at the same time warmly invited it.

 

Don’t be afraid, Kaya. Don’t be afraid, she kept telling herself. Just wake up and look at him. Don’t be scared. There was a mental blockage in her head that she couldn’t explain. It hindered her from listening to that inner voice. Theo stood up, sneaked outside and closed the door behind him.

 

Kaya opened her eyes and instantly directed them to the floor, where he had put a tray with freshly pressed orange juice, small pieces of banana and Brazilian bread. The glass with the orange liquid twinkled as the morning sun shone through Theo’s multicolored window. Smiling, she maneuvered the tray clumsily from the floor to the bed, starting to eat breakfast. First a little bit hesitantly because of her slight nausea then more greedily as the fruit juices satisfied her taste receptors.

 

With the food came the memories. They didn’t return slowly and vaguely like they often did when Kaya had a severe hangover. Like there were too realistic to be a dream, yet so distant they still could be. They returned by crashing down on her, clear, harsh and unforgiving, leaving no room for the speculation of them just being a dream.

 

Kaya didn’t know what to do. Feel puzzled because she could just simply forget such a significant night in her life? No matter if it had something to do with her hangover or some kind of protection mechanism, it was alarming. What was she supposed to do now? Feel guilty because that night alone made her realize she had done Theo wrong every single time by not trusting him? Feel regretful because she lied by saying she didn’t love him back? Feel unfaithful because of the thing with Trevor? Feel alone because yesterday she had ruined her chances once and for all? Feel scared because... No.

 

Kaya always did this to herself. She seriously needed to stop or else she would soon be eaten up by her inability to look at situations positively. She hated losing control over a situation. So she had to regain control of her emotions. No more negativity. She needed to feel seen because Theo understood her brokenness better than anyone. She needed to feel thankful that there actually was a person that cared for her. She needed to feel hopeful because it was never too late to change.

 

With new energy, new courage and new motivation Kaya stood up. She ignored the dizziness, that uncomfortably prickled in her head, and went for the door. It wasn’t until she got downstairs that Kaya started to think about her appearance. Looking down she recognized that she was wearing sweats and a t-shirt that were at least two sizes too big for her. She wondered how her face must look, pimply, sweaty and puffy and...

 

“Morning, Kaya.” Well, never mind. Now it’s too late anyway. Preparing for a long and draining conversation she turned around to face Theo’s older brother. “Morning.” “Theo’s outside.” Marcel pointed to the front door of the house. “Thanks.” Well, that was shorter than expected.

 

While approaching the door, Kaya stuffed her greasy hair into the t-shirt collar in an attempt to look a little bit more... acceptable? Opening the door, flashbacks of last night hit her in the stomach. Swallowing the rising acid in her esophagus, she stepped outside, trying to ignore her indisposition.

 

She found Theo squatting beside the door, repairing the broken doorbell, wiping away the sweat from his forehead. It was the first really hot day in this year’s spring. “Hey.” Theo twitched and turned around. “Hey.” “Sorry, still too loud.” “It’s okay.”

 

He got up, removed the bandana from his head and ruffled through his wavy, dark hair. “You’re awake. Were you able to eat anything from the food I brought you?” “Yes. Actually I ate all of it.” “I’m glad.” “Can...” Kaya had to swallow again to be able to talk. “Can I stay here with you for a moment? Y-You’re the only one I wanna see right now.”

 

Theo’s eyes said more in this moment than his introverted self probably ever could. “Sure. Sit down.” She did, noticing she was a little wobbly on her legs. Theo always knew what she needed before she knew it herself. That’s how they stayed for a long time. Theo working on the bell, Kaya watching him.

 

Only now that he had told her about the accident she noticed tiny things on him that gave it away. She watched his eyes behind his golden 70’s glasses squinting, strained and exhausted, to properly see what was causing the malfunction. She watched the slight stiffness and immobility in his left arm. She watched how, grabbing and employing the tools, he couldn’t fully stretch his left wrist.

 

The mood between them was lighter than Kaya could’ve ever expected. They didn’t talk much, actually not at all to be exact, and still there was no pressure of starting to do so. Everything seemed so casual at that moment, Kaya would’ve never believed what had happened last night if she hadn’t been present.

 

Theo didn’t impose any particular behavior on her nor expected any form of an explanation. He just really seemed to enjoy the simpleness of her company as he kept looking in her direction with a genuine smile. She returned it a little more mischievously than it came her way.

 

Using his bandana to wipe his runny yet stuffy nose Theo pressed the button and the doorbell rang so loudly it made Kaya jump. “That’s done”, he said, chuckling at her reaction. “Magic”, she said, giggling in return. “Now I need to take a look at that freakin’ pool thermostat so my roommates don’t kill me. Well, if the water doesn’t kill me first.”

 

Worried, Kaya frowned at that statement. “You need to go into the water for that?” Theo shook his head and took a step inside the house. “No, but being close to it is enough for me to react.” “Isn’t... Isn’t there something I can do so you don’t have to do this?” That sentence was hard to get out, even harder when looking at his irritated nose.

 

“I don’t think so, but... if you help me we are finished faster.” Kaya nodded, following him inside. “Marci, vamos reparar o aquecimento da piscina”, Theo said to his brother as they passed him. “Okay, thanks. Be quick about this, please.” “We will”, Theo assured him, guiding Kaya outside and closing the glass door behind them.

 

“Okay, so the cables of the... Heizung... uh, this thing over there.” Kaya followed his finger. “You mean the heater?” “Yes the heater. The cables go to the top of the roof. You can take the ladder in the corner, get up and check if there is any cable stewed through.” “Alright”, Kaya replied, going over to the ladder.

 

“You and Marcel... You two didn’t live together when you were younger, did you?”, she asked, while she dragged the ladder to the wall of the house. Although she had no idea how this question had formed in her mind in the first place nor how it got out without her even knowing it would, Kaya tried not to judge her fast mouthpiece like she normally did. After all she was interested in Theo and his past. She just hoped that it wasn’t too personal. Then again, what was after last night?

 

“No. I didn’t really know he existed until child protective services established contact with his mother. And since I only had my mother left, who wasn’t really reliable anymore, I went to live with Marcel and his mom.” Kaya built up the ladder and started climbing it.

 

“How was that for you?” “Scary at first. But now that I look back on it, it was good. I mean, Filipa, Marcel’s mom, was so kind to me. She is the person who really raised me. And Marcel was so welcoming. He has never questioned my presence. He has accepted me from day one. If I were him I don’t know if I had been that happy to share my small room with a total stranger. I remember loving my Mama, it’s just... it’s complicated, that’s all.”

 

Slowly, Kaya made her way to the top and began to study the cables. “So you didn’t love your dad?” Now that was just straight up nosy. Theo took it like a champ, as always. “That’s complicated, too. He was an addict. That’s why Filipa had kicked him out. He was being a bad example to Marcel. My Mama didn’t mind that. She protected him and his addiction. Because of her support he didn’t even try to hide it from me. He smoked in my presence daily. Not just nicotine, believe me. I had so many chest infections because of all the passive smoking I did at such a young age. It was the trigger for my asthma.”

 

“All the cables look good!”, Kaya informed him, while turning around. She noticed that Theo talked out of pure politeness, not out of desire. She could tell by the way his voice sounded. He probably wanted to show her, that there were no secrets between them. But she didn’t want to push him any further. That’s why she changed the topic to something lighter.

 

“What’s your’s and Marcel’s age difference?” “He’s five and a half years older than meeehe, he...” Theo stopped examining the thermostat as his breath hitched uncontrollably. Kaya jumped from the last step of the ladder as fast as she could so she wouldn’t miss anything. Pressing her legs together to suppress her... excitement, she watched the scene unfold.

 

Theo’s breath somersaulting, his lips parting, his nostrils twitching. Chest rising and falling agitatedly, his head snapped forward with this bittersweet expression of desperation and annoyance on his face. His operated arm was there just in time to catch his sneezes. “He’GnYjEishieew’chi... Heh’kNJyttchew, He’nNTschue, ugh... Here we go. Told you so.”

 

“Bless you. Did you find anything yet?” “No, but I have an idea. Could... hi... could youuu... Hih’Xhkschoo, Hi’yEiNGdschiu... Hih’xqxSH, sorry, snf. Could you please get me my tool box and that thermometer on the table over there?” “Of course.” While Kaya went to get everything Theo needed, he tied his bandana around his mouth and nose. Kneeling down, he took apart most of the thermostat in a few clever movements.

 

“It’s the reactor. It’s overheated”, he told Kaya, as she put the tool box down beside him. “Could you do me a favor and hold the thermometer in the water?” She did as she was told, while Theo rearranged a few things in the reactor she didn’t understand. The thermometer’s scale showed 61°.

 

“Now we just have to wait a few minutes and see if it changes.” So that’s how they sat at the edge of the pool, waiting for the temperature to go up. The mood had shifted. The silence no longer felt unforced like it had while repairing the doorbell. More than anything it felt demanding to Kaya at that moment, as if it was suddenly impossible to remain quiet about yesterday.

 

“About last night...” “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to”, Theo assured her. “No, it’s just that... I don’t know what...” “You know that you can leave whenever you want. You know you can come back whenever you want or don’t come back at all. I’m not forcing you to do anything that’s not in your comfort zone or your own will”, he reassured her. “I want to try”, Kaya said, not responding to any of Theo’s sincere words, so immersed in her ability to change.

 

It became silent after that. Kaya was afraid that Theo hadn’t understood what she was trying to say but relieved as she noticed him turning away, the need to release the allergy-induced tickle urgent. “Hu’tkdgscht... Huh’gdktscht... Hu’xxhschioo... Excuse me.” Yes, she definitely wanted to try. Even though she was still confused, scared and traumatized. She wanted to try regardless. “Bless you... I-I want to try”, she repeated, unsure of what else to do.

 

“Are you sure, Kaya?” She nodded. “I’m in love with you, too, you know? As hard as I tried to fight it... I-I still am. I’m in love with you, Theo.” Theo waited for her to initiate the touch. Kaya loved his little gestures. She put her head on his shoulder.

 

They stayed like that for a while, looking down at the water that was causing Theo to sniffle and Kaya’s head to bounce up and down almost non stop. Then the moment got even more unforgettable. “Hah’YnGhshX, Ha’QxhTchiew, Hah’JKdschiu. Sorry, snf.” “It’s okay”, she calmed his embarrassment down. “More than okay, actually.”

 

Kaya pulled down Theo’s bandana to put a quick kiss and with that a shy smile on his damp lips. They turned back to their old position, Theo pulling his allergy shield back up, Kaya resting her head against his shoulder again. And then... “Look”, Theo said, excitedly taking her hand but letting go the next second so as not to be overreaching. “The thermometer! Snf. The temperature is higher. We did it.”

 - tbc

[EveP]

This is so sweet. ❣️

[SneezyEeveelutions]

I'm in love with this story, it's so deep and not just about sneezing! Please continue! I can't wait to see how their relationship continues!

[Kolen]

Beautiful

Thank you for the Christmas gift, @glitter_

[glitter_]

Hello beautiful forum! I'm back with a new part. This one's pretty long and unstructured. I couldn't decide where to end it. It's also very conversation- and plot-heavy. I hope you don't mind. I thought this ws going to be a lighter chapter, but for some reason everything around Kaya and Theo keeps being problematic. I don't know why. Hopefully next chapter they'll get the break they deserve. But for now: enjoy and have a great week!

 

Chapter 26

 

Weeks went by. Not once, Kaya thought about going back to her parents’ house. Despite the steadily improving weather she stayed indoors most of the time, climbing into bed next to Theo in the evenings and waking up without him in the mornings.

 

He was very tense in that weeks, Kaya could tell. But whether it was from the responsibility he felt for her or his never ending job-hunt, she couldn’t tell. She wasn’t able to perceive a change in his behavior. Theo acted no differently than usual, neither particularly tired nor exhausted.

 

It was rather a change in his body language that Kaya noticed. His shoulders were stiffer, his jaw tighter than normal. She quickly learned that he was the type of person who coped with stress by suppressing it.

 

His friends accepted the fact they were in a relationship with knowing silence. Nobody even asked, everybody just immediately understood. Kaya appreciated them for that. It was so easy to be friends with Theo’s roommates. They were simply an amazing collection of people.

 

Soon she discovered Theo and her weren’t the open kind of couple like Flora and Blake. They worked better hidden, behind closed doors, beyond all words, looks and laughs.

 

While Kaya was given the possibility for the very first time in her life to try and recover from all the trauma, that had ever happened to her, Theo was super busy with applications, leaving the house early in the morning and returning so late in the evening, that he wasn’t able to worry about anything other than his uncertain financial situation and job future, for which Kaya partly was to blame.

 

And yet, he somehow managed to be kind and loving to her every time he came home, looking at her like she was the most beautiful creation mother nature had to offer, smiling at her as if she were a photo of his best memory, touching her like she was an ancient archaeological artifact, careful so as not to break her. He made dinner for her when he got home, as well as already prepared her breakfast for the next day.

 

His presence never felt suffocating, but always liberating. When Kaya talked, Theo let her finish. When she asked, he answered thought- and respectfully. When she was weak, he was strong. As pleasant as it felt to be around Theo, to spend every single moment of the day thinking about being with Theo, the current situation seemed more confusing to her than ever.

 

Before her relationship with him, Kaya never truly had to confront herself with all the doubt, pain and turmoil that was the mess of her life. Now that she finally accepted the mistakes her parents had made and how badly these mistakes had affected her own decisions, she felt empty and lost. She couldn’t evaluate her next steps nor even properly handle the emotions she was stuck in.

 

Although Theo played an importantly supporting part in finding her a way of healing, Kaya was so immersed in her suffering at times, that she wasn’t able to see anyone else’s problems but hers. And it scared her. It scared her being together with the most altruistic person she ever met but at the same time being the most egoistic person she knew. It scared her that she was in such a bad place despite or more because of her boyfriend, who was the only one who allowed her to express her feelings. Long story short: Kaya should be happy, but she wasn’t.

 

Furthermore Kaya didn’t have sex with Theo, or better Theo didn’t have sex with Kaya. While she always tried to push their bed kissing sessions into that direction, he sturdily slowed her down. It began to get really frustrating, since their relationship was obviously lacking a good bit of physical intimacy. Kaya even started to wonder over time if Theo even was interested in her like that, voluntarily sharing his bed with her every night but never having the same blatant thought as her.

 

So their nights didn’t become fun and adventurous, which could have made up for Kaya’s gloom during the day, but very quickly arduous instead. She couldn’t get much sleep, lying in the draft of the open window, worrying her ass off, while listening to Theo squeakily struggling to breathe.

 

Sometimes he needed to get up and leave the room with his inhaler in hand. When he came back, Kaya pretended to be sound asleep. Why did she do that? She had no idea. Probably because she didn’t want to stigmatize Theo’s asthma and because she was selfish, not having enough strength to deal with problems that weren’t her own.

 

“We kind of skipped the whole lovebirds-phase, didn’t we?”, Kaya spoke her mind. Theo turned around, taking off his glasses and slipping on his oversized hoodie. Another thing she had learned about him the past days: he slept with long sleeved things since he was always cold at night, whereas she was sweaty every time she slept in more than her underwear.

 

“You think that’s a problem?” Kaya looked at the poster covered ceiling. “I don’t know. Do you?” “Actually, I feel like I’m okay with that”, he said, crawling under the covers with her. Kaya stretched out her hands to massage his tense neck muscles, that were already covered with goose bumps. “You must be so tired”, she said, trying to be a tiny bit as empathetic as Theo was. “I’m okay.” “You sure?” “Yeah, as long as you are.”

 

She pulled her hands away. “What’s that supposed to mean?” “Huh?” “Why are you like this?” “Like what?” “Always so fucking compassionate, I can’t handle that much care. I don’t deserve that kind of treatment, when I’m being so freaking selfish!” Her voice cracked hysterically at the last word.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about right now”, Theo tried to calm her down. “That makes it even worse”, Kaya said, propping herself into a sitting position so she could look down on Theo. “You’re really doing all this shit subconsciously? I was just trying to connect with you, ask about your life, but you keep coming back to me, to my well-being. I was trying to make progress! I feel so bad about always being in my head, thinking about my problems. I’m so selfish, so selfish!” “No, you’re not.” “Yes, I am.” “No, you’re not”, Theo repeated, shaking his head vehemently.

 

“L-Look... You’re so understanding about my life being a disaster and I’m so thankful for that, but like... Right now, it’s not like your life is peachy, either. You’re under so much pressure to find a job, to... to be a good boyfriend, to hide your evident health problems from me and I don’t even have the space in my head for all of that and you don’t even ask me to make space for that. And now just as I tried to make space for you... it’s... I’m not used to that, alright? I’m not used to being confronted by my boyfriend how bad of a person I am.”

 

At this point Kaya was waving her arms around furiously, in the hope to put all of her bottled up dissatisfaction into them. “When did I ever tell you that you are a bad person?”, Theo wanted to know, hurt glittering in his eyes. “You didn’t. You tell me with your actions every day.” “I don’t think I understand.” Theo was such an innocent human being, that Kaya truly believed he had no idea what she was trying to communicate. “You’re just too good for me.”

 

“Okay, woah, enough. So you say you’re selfish, when...” “I’m not saying that. I simply am.” “Can I talk?” “Yeah”, Kaya responded abashedly, shocked by the gruff character in Theo’s voice. “You say you’re being selfish but every word that came out of your mouth a moment ago was full of worry for me. And even if you were selfish, that would be totally fine. That’s what depression, anxiety and trauma is all about. You have to be selfish sometimes to understand how to get better. You say you’re not used to the way I treat you and that’s also okay. I just tried to be as non-abusive as possible and I’m not starting to act more toxic, just because you’re more used to that. Isn’t that the point why you’re so unhappy? Because you know nothing but this shitty behavior of your last boyfriend or your father. I thought we’re trying to break this cycle together. I thought that’s why you stayed, why you wanted to try in the first place. Because it’s helping you, well at least so I thought, correct me if I’m wrong.”

 

“Why don’t you wanna fuck me?” Now Theo straightened as well, as his breathing seemed to escape his lungs a little harder than before. “P-Pardon?”, he asked, completely aghast. “You heard me.” “Uh... maybe because you’re more than a damn sex object to me.” “So you’re asexual?” “No, what...” “Straight?” “What the fuck has that got to do with...” “So you’re not straight.” Theo sighed. “Is that really so important right now?” “You tell me.” “Kaya... I love you.” “Then why don’t you wanna fuck me?” “I’m not gonna answer that question if you keep humiliating yourself with words like that.”

 

Now Kaya was the one to sigh. He really was too good for her, wasn’t he? “Why don’t you wanna sleep with me?” “I want to sleep with you, just... not now. At the right time, when you’re ready for it.” At that statement Kaya got up and started pacing the room. She needed to convert her anger into movement. “When I’m ready for it? Oh believe me, I’m so ready for it. You! YOU are the one that doesn’t seem ready if you ask me! You’re probably still a virgin and are afraid to mess up or something. I don’t know. I don’t care!”

 

Theo cleared his throat, suddenly seeming very intimidated. “You know I didn’t mean it like that. I just don’t want you to hurt is all.” “Well, you clearly failed at that.” Her words cut through him like a knife through a piece of bread.

 

Coughing unobtrusively, Theo got up, heading for the door. “I’m gonna go out for a bit”, he clarified through his teeth. “Oh great, so this is how you wanna settle this? By running away like a coward?” “No”, he responded between heavy breaths, “I just need some fresh air.” “Yeah, right. Have fun! Do you plan on coming back or...” “Please stop, Kaya!”, Theo wheezed. “I can’t breathe.”

 

And with that he shut the door and left her alone. Kaya wanted nothing more than to go after him but her whole body went numb, a barrier in her brain hindering her from using the muscles she would have needed to take one step after the other. A shiver mixed with an unhealthy amount of guilt ran down her spine, leaving her there, frozen in place, asking herself this one question over and over and over again: What have I done?

 

 

 

Kaya didn’t know how, why or when Theo returned. She was too busy fixating the floor to even notice his presence at first. No matter what he did, it didn’t get through to her. What have I done? “Kaya, hey!” She was the one that had induced his agitation. His asthma attack was her fault. What have I done?

 

“Kaya, talk to me!” Without doubt, she was guilty. Guilty of causing Theo’s asthma to flare up, guilty of being a bad girlfriend, guilty of... It was Theo’s panting and his uneasy cough that finally pulled Kaya back into reality. “Are you okay?”, she sobbed, grabbing him by the shoulders, holding onto him like as if he were a rescue tire. “Yeah, don’t worry about me, everything’s...”

 

“No, seriously! Are you okay?” Theo thought about his response for a long time, longer than Kaya was comfortable with. He seemed to quarrel with the truth. “Not really.” “Y-You know that’s a-all I w-wanted from you”, Kaya quivered, tears falling down her cheeks. “I know.” “What’s wrong?” “At the moment? It just hurts to breathe really. No biggie.”

 

Kaya tried to put all the hate she had for that comment into her stare. With all the tears in the way it probably looked ridiculous. Theo - mature as he was - still took her seriously. “I’m used to it”, he tried to defend himself. “But you shouldn’t be used to that, like I shouldn’t be used to mistreatment.”

 

Hours passed. They had no idea how they got back into bed nor how they ended up curled together so closely tight they could smell each other. It was already dawning outside, when Kaya finally found the courage to talk again. “I’m sorry”, she said, her voice bouncing monotonously off the walls. “I know. I’m sorry, too.” “You don’t have anything to be sorry for. You’re mastering this perfectly. You are perfect.” Theo smiled. “I’m not.” “Yes, you are.” “Only from your point of view. You are perfect for me as well.” “But don’t you see how flawed I am?” “Perfectly imperfect.”

 

“Ew!” Kaya imitated gagging noisy. ”Too cliché?” “Waaaay too corny”, she giggled. “Okay, gotcha”, Theo said, beginning to stroke her hair in the gentlest way possible. “Why do I have the feeling it shouldn’t be like this?”, she said bitterly, leaning into the soft touch. It made her head prickle. “Because it shouldn’t. It’s life not a movie.” Why was Theo so good with rejoinders?

 

With him she felt safe. Although being together with him didn’t always mean excitement, it surely meant certainty, reliability, dependency. And in this moment that was the most important thing. Knowing she didn’t have to worry about what could happen if she fell asleep in Theo’s arms. That realization alone made her fall into the deep, restful slumber she had needed so desperately for the last days.

 

 

 

Kaya woke up to the sound of Theo stifling a tenaciously itchy sneezing fit. Another thing she had learned about him was that he got particularly sneezy in the mornings, directly after waking up. Of course he was sneezy all the time but in the mornings it was... something else. As if his nose needed to expel every allergen it had to endure during sleep.

 

“Morning. Bless you”, she said, trying to control her flurry down there. “Sorry I woooooke youhhhou... heh.” “It’s fine, no worries.” “Huh’yeNyKgtshi, Hi’XndTkchiuu, Hih’XgXhschoo...” “Bless you.” So guardedly stifled, yet so helplessly hitchy. “He’YhnGTchiew, Ha’shnCKttshew, Hih’xHxMshieYw...” “Bless you.” So drawn-out, yet so fast-paced. “Hu’nYXcKschiew, Hi’xXgGkchoo, Huh’jEnGTyish...”

 

“Bless you?” He still held up his finger in the typical wait signal. God, Kaya loved mornings. Technically she hated them - she was a total night owl - but since she lived here, they had quickly become the best part of her day. “Hah’gnxxh, ‘qtcxxh, ‘knmxxh, HHhhEieejiSSHHiew-YjiSSHHyew, ugh, ‘scuse me, snf...”

 

That last set of sneezes did things to her heart Kaya couldn’t describe. The rapidness, the loss of control in the end, it was the perfect apology for yesterday, the perfect gift for a new day of trying to succeed in life. “Bless you, Theo”, she hummed light-heartily, caressing his back with her fingernails. The rest of him wasn’t ticklish like his nose.

 

Oh, how much she would give for him to turn around, so she could look at his struggling pre-sneeze face, his pink, flattering nostrils, his irritated, blinking eyes and his lopsided mouth trying to fight down the inevitable sensation deep down in his nasal passages.

 

Kaya jumped. She had been so caught up in her fantasies that she had completely forgotten about Theo’s duties, he was ignoring at the moment. “Don’t you need to be somewhere? It’s thursday.” As a reply Theo prepared for a sneeze a couple of times without success. His unintentionally a little dramatic sounding breaths kept hanging in the air, while he tried to answer: “Noooohooo, I... snf, I goooot aaaaaa... hihi, HHhhaa... ugh, fuck. I got a jooohooob, he...”

 

“Wow! That’s awesome! I’m so happy for you”, Kaya chirped, hugging her boyfriend, who was still hitching, from behind. “Try to look out the window”, she suggested teasingly, because, yeah, of course Theo was photic. How amazing could this man get? “It’s... Hhhhhu, huh, not workhhhhiiiing.” Carefully, so as not to miss anything, she climbed out of bed to kneel down before him, enjoying this whole situation way more than she should. Catching a last glimpse of his suffering, annoyed expression, scrunching his face into uncomfortable positions to deal with the strong tickle, she redeemed him by using her index finger to softly tap the tip of his nose a few times.

 

Then came the oh so urgent release. Theo covered his mouth and nose with his fist. “Hi’jeNCKTshioo... Hi’shGNnsht, Hah’xXNgtchiew’shi... hihi, He’nntKGxshew, Ha’Xhkschoo... Huh’yEiNGdschiu, ugh, snf. So gross, so sorry.” Kaya giggled, not quite realizing her luck. “You’re so cute.” She ruffled through his almost black, unruly hair.

 

He kissed her then, sending hot flushes through her entire body. If Kaya hadn’t known better, she would’ve believed that every time their lips touched a star exploded, while dozens of kittens were born. “Congratulations. We have to celebrate”, Kaya said, after reluctantly pulling away from the kiss. “Let me take you to the beach”, Theo said, leaning in for another kiss.

- tbc

 

[glitter_]

@EveP, @Rivenbeak and @Kolen thank you so much! You guys really are the reason I keep writing!