Two Opposites

[secret19]

Dying for an update 😊😊😊😊

[glitter_]

Hey guys! I'm back. I know it's been a while. I had Covid and was knocked out for quite some time. But as a compensation, this next chapter is extra long. Hopefully not too long, haha. If you fall asleep while reading it, let me know. It deals a little bit with Theo's political side and his ideals, but also with Jamari's and his shared history. It's plot-heavy and not as sneeze-heavy. I hope you are all okay with that. It also focuses on Theo's severe asthma problems for the first time. It is told out of experience, since I have asthma as well. I hope you guys like it. So with that said: a lot of hurt and whump coming your way with the part: At Work, Part 2 

@secret19 Here you gooo! Let me know what you think.

@missfemmefatale and @EveP I answered these questions just for you, hihi. 

@Privatedancer I'm glad you're still following my story. I appreciate it.

@RipleyToo I hope you enjoy the next part as much as the last one.

 

 

Chapter 32

 

“And this button...?” “Yeah, this button is for the navigation. When you press it, you can write down your next destination in this bar right here. If you want the system navigating it out loud, then just press the speaker down here.”

 

Theo struggled to remain focus. While following Jamari’s fast finger with his eyes, he noticed his vision, as well as the images it projected, becoming blurrier by the second. That was because his headache had turned into a full blown migraine by now. A migraine with a freaking aura.

 

Unobtrusively massaging his temples and rubbing his eyes behind the glasses, he tried to pay attention to his co-worker, who continued to explain, how the messenger service worked.

 

He jumped, when a very shrill, very rowdy sound suddenly escaped the car. Just when Theo had thought his head couldn’t hurt more.

 

“Ah! Perfect timing, isn’t it?”, Jamari laughed, opening the message they had just received. “We have to cruise for about forty minutes.” Great. So much for short distances. “Here. See? Tecca Street. That’s up north. Look, rookie! That’s how you transfer the message into the navigation. Issa little dinosaur-like, but you’ll get the hang of it. So... let’s switch seats, so you can show me your mad driving skills.”

 

The pain in his head was so stabbing, that it wasn’t easy to distinguish from sharp knives at times. “Theo?” “Mmh?” “Are you even listening to me? You have to drive us to Tecca Street right now.” “Mmh? O-Oh... Absolutely, yeah... Tecca Street, yeah. Let me just...”

 

It seemed way harder to coordinate than usual with his limbs all numb. As Theo tried to get up, Jamari’s gentle hand pushed him down again. “Didn’t you get enough sleep or something? You acting kinda strange.”

 

Should I lie? What a stupid, superfluous question, when his colleague had already given him all the context he needed to lie flawlessly. “Fuck no. I was so nervous going into this. I really need this job. I’m completely broke at the moment. Ergo I didn’t sleep at all.”

 

Jamari frowned at him pitifully. “Then maybe it’s for the best, when I drive. Just for today. You think thassa good idea?” “If you insist”, Theo said, hiding his inner thankfulness and excitement by shrugging it away with a blank expression. “I don’t insist. But I don’t mind either.” “Well then... If you don’t mind.” “There you go”, Jamari chuckled, starting the engine.

 

Deftly maneuvering the company car from the parking lot to the road, he said: “So, nothing has really changed, I see. You still the same shy guy, who sits in the last row at school and can’t get no sleep the night before a new job.”

 

“I guess so.” Theo tried to relax his eyes so as not to get sick from the bright dots in front of them or nauseous from the rocking of the car. Shit, this damn head cold really knocked him out big time. But then again... as long as it stayed in the head, it would be fine.

 

“Crazy, man. I’d never thought that we’d be sitting in the same car, working for the same boss ever again after our apprenticeship. That shit was wild.” He wasn’t sure, whether Jamari wanted to make allusions to anything in particular. Fortunately, his co-worker wasn’t vague like that and didn’t leave him hanging on that thought too long. Theo’s brain wouldn’t be able interpret any vagueness right now anyway.

 

“I meant sex witchu was wild.” Despite his malaise, Theo laughed at that bold statement. “God, we were such horny teenagers, weren’t we?”, he said, feeling his chest tighten. Not from the memories with Jamari, that all came rushing back nowm that the cat was out of the bag between them.

 

They were good memories, although not that deep and meaningful. Jamari was Theo’s phase of growing into his sexuality, accepting it, having fun and being comfortable with it. “Were?”, his colleague asked ironically horrified. “I still am.”

 

“Well, I’m still the shy guy and you’re still the sex addict. You’re right. Nothing has changed”, Theo joked, his chuckle being cut off by a formidable cough, that made his chest tighten even more. He needed to use more windpipe and less lungs when laughing. Well, first he probably needed to use more air while breathing.

 

“Yaaasss, wouldn’t change a thing. I was in a gay bar yesterday and fucked this guy, whose name was Ryan... or Brian, I think. And it wassa banger. Pun intended. He was biracial. I like them biracial guys”, Jamari said, winking in Theo’s direction.

 

“Oh... I-I’m not though.” “Whatchu talking bout? Course you are.” “Yeah, but like... not in that sense. My father was...” Dammit. “He is Afro-Brazilian, not...” “Half-Latino. Still biracial.” “Yeah, no. I-I just didn’t want to offend you or anything. It’s like... being African-American is an ethnicity, being African-Brazilian is more of a cultural term, even though it also has an ethnic component. All I wanted to say is that...”

 

Concentrating was getting impossible with this fucking migraine spreading all over his face. Speaking was getting a real pain in the ass, as much as he needed to catch his breath in between sentences. So much for the cold staying in his head. Luckily Jamari was there to complete his train of thought.

 

“You wanted to say that yo roots are the same as mine. Our provenance is that of the oppressed, not that of the oppressors.” Nodding, Theo added: “Right. Of course my dad is somehow mixed, but originally we aren’t descended from the Portuguese colonial rulers but from the Africans who were shipped to Brazil. My... ahem... My ancestors were slaves on a pear farm. That’s how I got this surname.”

 

Jamari turned his head to the side to smile directly at him. Theo wanted tell him to look ahead, but controlled himself in the last second. “That’s so typical you. Knowing your whole family history by heart. Wanting to keep everything politically correct. Not wanting to offend me, although I don’t know how you could by just telling me yo heritage. Actually that reminds me of something... You had a nickname in our class. I don’t know if you even remember.”

 

Luckily, Jamari had changed his focus back to the road while talking, allowing Theo to relax just a bit more. Proud, that he had been able to repress the urge to comment on his co-worker’s irresponsible driving-behavior, he leant back, slackening his body enough to realize it wasn’t numb anymore but rather activated from the previous tension, he had involuntarily put on it.

 

“What was it?”, he wanted to know, feeling the tautness from his core expanding to his arms and legs, making them tremble. “Cheo”, Jamari giggled. “Cheo?” The effort of hiding the obvious shiver in his voice, made the rest of his body quiver even harder. “Yeah, like Che Guevara, you know? Your name merged with his.” “But why?”

 

At this point, he shook in his seat like a leaf on a tree being streaked by a gust of wind. Now, all he could hope was that Jamari wouldn’t notice. “Don’t you remember the get-to-know-day? Where all of us had to name our idol. You said Che Guevara and I found that so amusing at the time. Like... you were so temperate and quiet. I thought there ain’t no resemblance at all. But the more I got to know you in class I recognized you were obviously way more intellectual than the rest of us, that I was wondering like the heck this kid even doing here? You were always so in yo head, like... mysterious, vehemently guided by values, strong moral compass, own unique ideology. And then I got to know you outsida class as well, if you... if you know what I mean”, he whispered with another wink in Theo’s direction.

 

“Spending time witchu I realized you had this inner flame, like... you were so passionate but stoic at the same time. And then I started to find it perfectly fitting, that you chose him as your idol. That’s why I’m kinda surprised to find out that you Afro-Brazilian. I always thought you a dark Latino, well you are... but not like that. I also thought you come from a Spanish colony like Chile or Peru, not from a Portuguese one. Now my perfect Che fantasy of you is ruined.”

 

Bringing up his fist to cough into it as discreetly as possible, Theo was equally amazed and uncomfortable with how well Jamari perfectly remembered all these different things about him. Clearing his throat once again and ignoring how the chattering of his teeth vibrated in his head, he took of his glasses so he didn’t have to look at the rainbow-like asphalt any longer.

 

“I’m sorry about that. I can speak Spanish, though. If it makes you feel any better”, he quipped with the last sense of humor, his cold hadn’t pilfered from him yet. “Forgiven”, Jamari quipped back with this admirable ease. “Anyways, you look hot without the glasses.” This nonchalant wink again. How could someone be so matter-of-fact but lewd all the same?

 

“Where in Brazil were you born?” “Oh, I wasn’t born in Brazil. I was born in Wales. My parents were on... hhh... on a vacation there.” Catch your lousy breath, dammit. “I lived in Berlin till I was nine. Then I lived in Salvador De Bahia till I was about 15 and then I moved here. Together with... hhh... with my brother.”

 

With the last exhale Theo found that he wouldn’t be able to talk much longer. So since he was already embarrassed about how much their conversation was circling around him, he quickly changed the topic. “Ahem... Where are you from? *Cough cough* Did you always live here?”

 

The shuddering of his body caused an extremely unpleasant throbbing in his head. In order to not attract attention, Theo casually started to clean his glasses with his sleeve. As if he could see a thing.

 

“Wow, you’ve been around a lot. I had no idea. No, I was born in the South. In Louisiana to be exact. To come back to family history, my ancestors were slaves on a cotton plantage near the Mississippi. We couldn’t stay in this confederation-flagged shithole. I mean... I’m black and gay after all so...” “The perfect scapegoat.” “Exactly. So I lived in Oakland most of my life before coming here to Oxnard.”

 

“So that’s fitting as well. I remember your idol being Tupac.” Jamari laughed, jestingly throwing a gang sign up in the air, bringing out the neon colors of his nails, which were so bright, even Theo could see them as outlines. “Gotta represent the West Side.”

 

He could hardly bear the fact that his co-worker was wildly gesturing with his other hand instead of also using it to steer. Swallowing the burn in his throat, he kept talking to distract himself. “You got me into his music and philosophy. I got a T-shirt, so... *cough cough cough* left an impression on me for sure.”

 

Yeah, speaking is not the best idea right now. Still shaking, he put his glasses back on. “Yeah, Pac is the truth, for sure. You don’t even have no Che Guevara T-shirt or do you?” Theo shook his head, not trusting his voice at the moment. “Well, what do they say? The true supporters ain’t wearing no T-shirts of him.”

 

In through the nose, out through the mouth. Hopefully Jamari would stop talking soon. He couldn’t keep up with the dynamic of his communication-style any longer. Unfortunately, it wasn’t really in his friend’s nature to just stop talking.

 

“What kind of music are you into then? If it’s usually not Rap.” Keeping his fast, shallow breaths as silent as possible, Theo panted between inhales: “I like all kinds... hhh... Mostly Jazz, Samba and Bossa though... hhh... And you?” “Jazz, huh? Advanced. And Samba, Bossa... Thassa true Brasileiro right there. I’m a Hip Hop and Rap kinda guy. But Pop can be fire, too. Depends on...”

 

Jamari kept on chatting. Although it was sort of annoying, Theo had changed his mind about his colleague’s loquacity. As long as Jamari talked, he could better hide the fact he wasn’t feeling well. Actually the complete opposite. Even though the aura before his eyes had backed off a little, he was beginning to rotatory break into hot and cold sweats.

 

Being soaked to the bone but quaking simultaneously, he wished the car ride would end soon. However, a glance at the navigation screen told him that they were only halfway there. Fuck. As Jamari took a sharp left turn, Theo perceived his stomach flipping, leaving him with a queasy feeling.

 

And as if that weren’t enough, in that same second an all too familiar feeling crept from the back of his throat up to his nostrils. Sniffling carefully, he cursed his nose for not being able to behave itself for at least one fucking hour. Swiftly sweeping a finger under his already twitching septum, Theo hopelessly prayed it would be enough to prevent his sneezes.

 

Please, don’t be impolite. Don’t be awkward. Don’t be interruptive. Don’t be an attention-magnet, he told himself over and over again. Like a mantra. But seriously who was he kidding? It was a cold. Of course he was going to... “Hhhhi’KngHXshew... Hhhh’xxhshh-HHE’NyNkDh’chuue... hhhhe? Hhha’NGT-shoo, ugh.” ... sneeze.

 

And not just three but four times. Awesome. Jamari had immediately stopped speaking to grandly acknowledge what just happened. “Oh my god! Bless you!”, he exclaimed solemnly. “I was literally waiting for you to do that the entire time. I don’t think I ever saw you one day without sneezing. Andchu always did it in these little fits as well. Nawww, so iconic! The nostalgia is real! Oh and... looks like you gonna...” “Hhhu’gnt...” ”... do it again. Bless...” “Hhhhah’tng...” ”...you. Blessyablessya.” “Hhhhiii’tgn’shi, ugh...” “Naw, Bless you, honey. God, you’re so cute. I hope you know that.” “Excuse be, snf snf. I’b very sorry.”

 

These stifles had hurt like hell. They made his headache shift to his sinuses, where it clogged and blocked every fluid once and for all. Preferably, Theo wanted to disappear right now. That’s how embarrassed he was of Jamari’s reaction.

 

He didn’t have much time to further think about it though, as the immense tickle washed over him once more. If he didn’t want this cold to become a full on sinus infection, he should probably quit stifling. But since he wasn’t remotely sick enough to lose his sense of embarrassment and stifling had become as much of a reflex to him as sneezing, Theo would do it anyway.

 

Eyes, mouth and nose flattering and fluttering for a moment of uncertainty, he felt his shame limit being exceeded by maximal capacity. But what was he supposed to do? Corking up his nostrils? Actually, that wasn’t such a bad idea considering... “Hhhhee’qsx, HHH’xsq... Hhhhi’xhqh’schee, ugh, fugg... snfl... ugh, ‘scuse be, ahem.”

 

Theo muffled the last triple in his sleeve, making it more moist than it already was from his sweat. That last fit not only pained him as expected but also left him a helplessly sniffling mess. While he hurriedly pulled out the tissues, Mr. Stelton had given to him earlier, Jamari felt the need to comment again.

 

“No need to apologize, you sneezy teddy bear.” Dabbing at his runny yet stuffy nose with a tissue, too afraid to properly blow the germs out, Theo noticed the congestion filling up his dry vocal chords and settling in his swelling sinuses.

 

Long story short: He felt like utter crap, but couldn’t admit to it now, sitting next to Jamari, in the middle of a job. So instead of succumbing to his misery, he kept his composure by building up a protective wall and putting on a facade.

 

“Allergies kicking yo ass, huh?”, his co-worker asked sympathetically. “You could say thad”, Theo answered nasally, not meeting Jamari’s eyes. “Like always”, his colleague mumbled, smiling. “You know... I missed this. I miss us. I’ve been thinking aboutchu a lot recently and... You’ve pleased and satisfied me like no other, so like... I think we should hook up again sometime.”

 

Cringing uncomfortably, Theo replied: “Jamari... We can’t. I... I have a girlfriend. I’b sorry.” Kaya. What he would give to be in her presence right now. Every moment without her was a wasted one. And as new, tempestuous and exciting as it had been to hook up with Jamari, their relationship had been one only of a sexual nature. His desires had massively changed over the last years.

 

“You bi?”, his friend inquired, aghast. Theo nodded with a quelled cough, realizing that this was his first proper coming out. “Wow, hundred percent thought thatchu gay. You never cease to surprise me, Cheo”, Jamari chuckled.

 

And with that he concentrated less on the road and more on the car radio. Probably to cope with the rejection, he had just received. And as understandable as that objectively was, subjectively Theo was terrified of the way Jamari’s dreadlocks covered his eyes in the process of finding the perfect channel. Maybe he was too exhausted or there was plainly no strength left in him to control his fear any longer.

 

“Could you blease loog ahead?”, he begged, more anxiously than intended. “Alright! Jeez, no need to be so uptight about it.” His co-worker left the current charts-channel on, focusing on the street again. Just to mock him he started to check the mirrors way more religiously than before.

 

The music messed with Theo’s headache as well as his nausea. Swallowing his misery, he tried to calm himself by looking out of the window and counting the trees, which they passed in a blur. Everything around him was slowly warping together, creating a distortion of reality. At this point he was definitely running a temperature, with every hot flush and cold shiver that crawled down his spine in a mixture of trepidation, malady and fever.

 

The only clear thing remaining was his nose trying to force all of that shit out in waves. Jamari blessed him every time. Not just each triple but every single sneeze. Theo didn’t have the guts to tell him, how much he despised any attention regarding his outbursts. Speaking of the devil...

 

Shoulders shooting up, he braced himself for another sneeze. Mouth crinkling and nostrils wrinkling, cheeks crumpling and forehead rumpling, the powerful tickle won the pointless fight yet again. Theo prepared to drown out his colleague’s blessings as he raised the already used up tissue just in time to pinch his nose and with that squinch his eyes shut to... “Hhhhe’yeNyKgtshu, Hhhhi’XndTkchiuu, Hhha’XgXhschoo... Hhhhh’shnxGHk’shyew... sorry.” ... crunch a tightly bottled sneezing fit into it.

 

As he set the tissue down, Theo felt his snot seeping through its fabric. “You okay? They getting quite intense”, Jamari observed, obvious worry sneaking into his usually melodic voice. The honest response was no. These last stifles had left Theo breathless as hell. All this time he had wanted to conceal his breathing difficulties from himself, but now he couldn’t anymore. His asthma was dangerously flaring up.

 

“Yeah, jusd allergies... hhh... Dod’t worry aboud id.” And out of pride or timidness or whatever it was... he couldn’t tell his co-worker, let alone use his inhaler in front of him. Because using his inhaler in public was a whole different league of a no-go compared to sneezing in public.

 

Luckily, they would arrive their destination in five minutes. Theo could improvise after that. He just needed to hang on for those five minutes and just... breathe. “If you say so.” Memories of instances came flooding back. Including him camping in Jamari’s bathroom either before sex to dope himself with several puffs of albuterol or after sex taking a steam shower to hopefully soothe his asthma symptoms.

 

Theo had always found a way to cover up his crappy lungs, so he wouldn’t stop. Not now, not ever. Because in this moment images flashed before his eyes like the aura of his migraine earlier. Images of situations with Marcel, dialing 911 in a hectic, eyes wide, with Leila trying to hide her evident worry while calling for help, with Filipa - his real mom - trying to blink away the only tears, he had ever seen on her, just to be strong for him. It was Theo’s mission to prevent the harm, these instances had caused on his loved ones, so it wouldn’t break them completely. It was his mission to protect them.

 

“We almost there.” Wheezing silently through his laced up throat, Theo nodded. “You don’t mind me taking a quick smoke before this, do you?” “Whad?”, he coughed. “No need to panic. I’ll keep my eyes on the road. Just gonna...” Jamari pulled a cigarette out of his pocket, clamped it between his teeth and fumbled for his lighter, whose surface showed an angular pattern.

 

Even if Theo wanted to hinder him from igniting the cigarette, he lacked the air to physically do it. So instead he just acted as if he didn’t care. Holding his breath as best as he could, he turned his full attention back to counting trees.

 

Regrettably, it was unavoidable not to be exposed by the smoke sooner or later, with Jamari not even bothering to roll down a window. Theo coughed, inhaling all the oxygen he wasn’t able to exhale, which made the devilish stuff inescapably accumulate in his bronchus.

 

“Hey, you sure you’re good? You sound rough”, his colleague stated, blowing the smoke through his nose. “Yeah, I’m sure”, Theo assured him, silently suffering. “Is it the cigarette?” “Doe.” “You sure?” “Yes.” Jamari opened the window anyways.

 

The next few minutes passed in slow motion. No matter how much pain Theo was in or how nauseous and feverish and over all ill he felt, he knew that all of this was nothing compared to the horror of not being able to breathe.

 

Almost tumbling out of the car, as soon as Jamari had parked it in front of their destination, there was only one thought left in his brain: Air! I need air! Oxygen, please! He arrived at their customer’s front door dizzy from the lack of oxygen in his system. Jamari, tool box in one hand, tossed his cigarette on the street with the other and knocked.

 

A little bit later an older lady opened the door for them. She seemed very groomed, hair in a perfect bun, skin oily, nails done. “Finally. Thought, you’d never make it”, she growled grimly, inviting them to come inside with a derogatory hand gesture. She was the kind of human being to feel superior. But Theo couldn’t take that into consideration right now.

 

“Could I... *cough*... bathroom?”, he croaked. “If that’s really necessary. Right here”, the lady said, rolling her eyes. If Theo had been feeling any better, he would’ve probably read something like These Hispanics and their manners from the look she gave him. “Thanks”, he excused himself.

 

Speedily squeezing his body through the crack of the bathroom door, the last thing he heard from Jamari was: “Alright. I’ll take a look at yo TV then.”

 

Locking the door, Theo allowed himself for the first time to cough extensively, but of course not freely. After all, he was too afraid to attract any kind of attention. So, pressing his lips together tightly, he coughed with his mouth closed, feeling his chest rattle in the process.

 

Coughing and coughing, he sank to the ground. With each intake of air he felt his lungs perilously inflate, every time closer to the point of bursting. But as much as he tried to release his pent up breaths he just couldn’t.

 

His pulse rising to astronomical heights and his sternum being squashed by inconceivable weights, Theo used his inhaler three energy draining times, already knowing, it wouldn’t help his lungs remember how to work correctly. Don’t panic. Don’t panic. DON’T. PANIC.

 

Wheezing weakly, he pulled himself up the sink, in which he spat the bloody mucus from his bronchus. As he looked up, his reflection appeared in the mirror, worn-out, pale and blue lipped. It was the second time that day, he had to hide in a bathroom because of his weak immune system. Deja Vu.

 

Rubbing the stinging soreness of his sternum away, Theo slowly came to the realization, that - as much as he didn’t want to - he had to pull the emergency break or otherwise he would end up in hospital or... well, or worse.

 

Suffering to release the colossal pressure in his chest by coughing some more, he pulled down his pants shakily. Struggling to remove the cap of the epipen, Theo began to doubt his decision for a moment.

 

He was broke. Like zero dollar on his bank account broke. And one single epipen costed 600 dollars. Furthermore he had never used his epi for an asthma attack before, but only for anaphylaxis. Normally, in asthma emergencies, the dexamethasone juice was the right choice.

 

But since that wasn’t available at the moment and he needed to rush back to his job as soon as possible and as inconspicuous as possible, it was the only thing he could do if he didn’t want to be intubated.

 

So when he finally managed to get the needle free, Theo sat down on the toilet, jabbed the adrenaline in his thigh and prayed: Don’t faint. Don’t faint. DON’T. FAINT.

 

Firstly, he watched his trembling blue fingers change color. Then he noticed the air and with that the residual smoke from Jamari’s cigarette pouring out of his lungs without him even having to exhale. After that he felt his body starting to actually gain something from all the wheezing he did.

 

As he flushed the toilet Theo shortly allowed himself to cough unfettered over the noise, bringing up some more slimy phlegm. In that split second he got a glimpse of how significantly liberating it actually felt being able to breathe. And he would never ever take it for granted.

 

Right now Theo experienced what he always called his after-asthma-high. With his extremities uncomfortably numb, his head almost exploding, the acid in his belly boiling over, his throat burning and his sinuses swollen, he felt like he could climb mountains.

 

He threw the empty injection in the trash bin next to the toiled, turned the water on and carefully stood up. As expected, his blood pressure sky rocketed and his pulse picked up its pace even more from all the epinephrin in his blood stream.

 

Splashing some water on his face, which had regained some of its brown color, he returned to his job light-headed and on wobbly legs.

 

“I’m sorry, Ma’am, but I’m afraid we gotta take your TV to the workshop.” “Nonsense”, the woman squeaked furiously. “Why do I still order you, if you’re too incompetent to fix anything anyway?” “Ahem... Excuse me”, Theo drew attention to himself. “F-For taking so long... M-May I have a look?”

 

Sighing, the woman permitted. With a few explanations of what was wrong and a few more tricks, Theo managed to repair the television with wavering and quavering hands in no time. “Here you go, ma’am. Just give us a call if it causes you any trouble again, which... I don’t believe it will.” And with that they were out of this lion’s cave.

 

“What the heck, Theo? You a magician”, Jamari said, suppressing his laughter. “Bring it to the workshop? It was nothing more than a short circuit. You could’ve done that just as well as me”, Theo wheezed. “But that lady wassa straight up racist, man!” “Yeah, she was hella racist. So?” “I played around with her a tad. I even ratchet up my slang.”

 

“That was stupid of you. I mean, playing right into the prejudice, she harbors against you. *Cough cough*. That way people like her will never stop discriminating. You have to show that you’ve got intellect and principals like her, just different ones. And besides, you might wanna confront her about that outside of your professional relationship. *Cough*. Because after all, we still need to provide for her. That’s our job.”

 

The after-asthma-high was over and Theo already started to gasp again from his agitation. He needed to calm down and control his emotions.

 

“What happened to yo Che Guevara?”, his co-worker confronted him, while making the car click open with the keys. “Believe me. I’m angry, too. Just like you”, Theo clarified, as they both stepped into the car. “But this is not the place to be having that kind of conversation. I have visions and dreams for the future and someday I wanna translate them into action.” Jamari grinned at Theo’s words, while figuring out where to go next.

 

“You know what’s the funny thing about our role models? Sometimes we idolize and adore them because we desperately want to be like them, although we are obviously not. I thoughtchu fall into that category. But sometimes we simply connect with them and relate to their struggles, because we underwent the same ones. After today I know you definitely fall into that one.”

 

Theo frowned, bemused. “What are you getting at? Hhh.. The discrimination? Hhh... My world view?”, he panted, while Jamari started the car’s engine. “Didn’t you know Che suffered from asthma as well?” And with that they took off.

- tbc

[secret19]

Thank you!! It makes my day when you post. Loved the update but I do have to say sneeze heavy updates are my favorite LOL

[secret19]

Side note I am DYING for theos perspective 😩

[marzipan]

I hope you are feeling much, much better and have a full recovery from COVID! Re: this section of the story - a bisexual, politically radical, idealistic character? Be still, my beating heart. 😁

[EveP]

@glitter_ Thank you! That is so sweet of you and this update was great. It's nice to get to know Theo on a deeper level.

Covid19 can be horrible. I had it earlier this year and it was hard to beat. Fortunately it didn't affect my lungs, but it wreaked havoc with my digestive system leading to other problems. I did make a full recovery though and wish the same for you.

[RipleyToo]

I’m glad you recovered from Covid, I’ve had it a couple times & it SUCKED. So welcome back I guess! 
 

I LOVED this update! Theo is just soo adorable! I like that his cold sneezes are getting too hard to hide or control.

[secret19]

I just finished rereading this whole thread. Twice. You are such an amazing writer Glitter, I can’t wait for the next update 🤞🤞

[Evian]

Ohhh my godddd

[secret19]

Update? 🫣 Pretty please? 

[emi]

He's bi!! I knew there was a reason I liked Theo so much

[glitter_]

Hey guyyys! I'm finally back. I know it's been an extremely long time and I hope you can all forgive me. I had a lot on my plate. With new job, new studies, new flat. It's been an exhausting time for me, but it never stopped me from wanting to continue. So here I am. Doing just that. I hope, you guys haven't forgot about this story yet and are happy to see a continuation. It is Kaya's POV, but I'll maybe switch it again in the next part. Much more sneezing to come in the next one as well. Enjoy and please please please leave feedback and inspiration. This installment is not as long. Hopefully the next one will be. I needed to find a good start. 

To the comments:

You're all very kind and caring. Thank you for all the "get well soon" comments. I've finally recovered from Covid, but it took me a while. It messed up my already messed up lungs. But now, with the right amount of medications, my health is slowly improving.

@secret19 I thank you so so very much for your comments. You really keep me motivated. Here is your long awaited update. Unfortunately not Theo's POV and not as sneeze heavy, buut... I promise more of that soon, hihi.

@marzipan Oh... So you're a sucker for those characters, too? I appreciate you. More than you know, hahaa.

@EveP It's nice to know you also enjoy the story-heavy parts. I'm always a little insecure about whether you will like them or not. So this gave me confidence. Thank you!

@RipleyToo I'm so glad you like it. And I hope you haven't lost interest...?

@Evian Whaaaat? xD

@emi 100 % Relatable

Sooo, without further ado: Things are finally looking up. Or are they? I'm talking to you, Theo!

Chapter 33

 

Just as Kaya opened the fridge in search of a snack, the doorbell rang. All the worries, she had to deal with today, and all the life-changing decisions, she had made, slipped her mind for one second of ecstasy, as she excitedly ran up to the entrance. She unlocked the door and looked through the created crack.

 

That was when the euphoria, she had experienced in the entirety of her soul just a moment ago, left her spirit completely. With her jaw dropping to the floor, Kaya widened the door gap in a stiff and abrupt arm motion.

 

“Hi Kaya. How are you?” The person greeting her on the other side of wasn’t the one she had expected. “Fine”, she replied emotionlessly, already turning away from the woman, who stood on the threshold with a disgustingly big smile on her features.

 

“I’m gonna get Marcel.” “Oh… No need. I actually came to talk to you… Is that… alright?” No, but… Behind her bright teeth, that blinded Kaya more than the sun outside, was an almost human uncertainty, that managed to change her mind.

 

“Come in, I guess”, Kaya invited Leila inside, whose face-tattoos seemed to crumble in genuine surprise.  “I was just about to eat. You want something, too?”, Kaya shouted, while making her way back to the kitchen. “Oh… No, I’m fine. I ate before I got here”, Leila said, following her and sitting down at the table in the middle of the room.

 

An awkward silence settled between the two of them, as Kaya made herself a toast with scrambled eggs and bacon, focusing on the task as hard as possible in a desperate try to keep her anxiety at bay by ignoring the woman behind her back. Of course, Leila was the braver one to start the conversation, they had put off since the incident at the party.

 

“So… You and Theo are… together now?” “Mmh…”, she mumbled with closed lips, while scraping the yellow leftovers from the pan and onto the bread, wondering if her boyfriend would return from work soon. “Honestly, I’m so happy for the two of you. Since the day I met you, I knew you were perfect for him.” She couldn’t tell if Leila was being serious or just saying that to make it easier for her to apologize. “Thanks”, she responded, finally gathering enough courage to turn around and face her.

 

Slowly, as if she was approaching a ticking bomb, Kaya came closer and sat across from Theo’s best friend. It was stupid to still be afraid of her or angry at her, but she just couldn’t help the envy creeping up on her.

 

“Listen… That thing, that happened a couple of weeks ago. I’m lesbian. So… you really don’t have to worry about…” “I know. Theo told me everything”, Kaya silenced her to fasten the process and lessen her jealousy. “He did?”, Leila asked, clearly taken aback by that statement. She ruffled through her short brown hair, as if to gather herself.

 

“Mmh”, Kaya answered with a full mouth, chewing on the first bite of her first dinner. “Listen,”, she told the still aghast woman, when she had swallowed the food, “I have a few… things I need to figure out. And sometimes I’m a little unstable and moody, so… don’t interpolate too much into it. I apologize and I forgive you.  And I’m sorry about your mom. Must be hard.”

 

Even though these words had been extremely difficult on her vocal cords, it felt good to finally set the record straight. She knew Leila was an extremely essential person in Theo’s life. Sooner or later, she had to accept her. And if that meant to be empathetic with a total stranger, with someone she had seen as competition for a rather long period of time, so be it.

 

Without her boyfriend, Kaya would’ve never been able to see a conflicted situation in such a light. This talk was one of many little steps towards her recovery and also a good rehearsal for her later reveal or confession or… whatever it was.

 

Kaya had finished the whole toast, before Leila was able to find her voice again. “So… he told you everything about me?” Her eyes filled with unwanted tears. “Nope. About him. He told me you are very important to him and you two got the same struggle with your mothers.”

 

Leila darted her gaze to the floor. It stayed there for an uncomfortably stretched out while. Long enough for Kaya to realize it was her time to act. “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to”, she offered.

 

So, they didn’t. Instead, they talked about reasons they got detention in school, about wild trips with friends and about their funniest irrational fears. When Leila left, it was already dark out and their quarrel long forgotten by now.

 

 

Theo arrived an hour later with his hair disheveled and his eyes baggy. His first workday seemed to have wrecked him completely, with all the new impressions and the obvious obstacle of his driving phobia.

 

Luckily Kaya had figured out a perfect way to ease his stress. “You’re late”, she pointed out, eagerly jumping into her beautiful boyfriend’s arms, strewing him with kisses of affection and pride. Too excited to interpret his try to dodge her lips, she took Theo by the hand and let him upstairs, where she had prepared the surprise, that she had been looking forward to all day.

 

As tired as he seemed, as soon as they got into their room and he had approached the bed, where Kaya had positioned the envelope, the shadows behind his glasses lightened up.

 

“What is that?”, he wanted to know, picking his gift up. “You have to open it”, Kaya instructed impatiently. Her boyfriend did as he was told. With shaky hands he pulled out a reservation card for a table in the best restaurant of the city. Marcel’s words, not hers.

 

Since the older brother really understood something about food, he had agreed to assist her with finding the right place for a romantic date. “Remember how we wanted to celebrate my moving in?”

 

“Kaya… That is too expensive.” “Don’t worry. I got us covered”, she assured him, bothered by the fact that she was forced to use her dad’s money. Hopefully her financial dependency would change with the plans she had developed the last days.

 

“That’s not how I wanted it to be. I work, so I can be the one, who can take you out to dinner.” Smiling, inside and out, Kaya ran her fingers through Theo’s hair, touched by his words, but also a little bit triggered by them. “We live in the 21^st century, you know?”, she japed. “Besides, I don’t want you to feel responsible for everything in our relationship. I’ll have to contribute my fair share of commitment as well.”

 

The longer she stroked her boyfriend’s head, the warmer it felt. Frowning, she moved her hand down, wanting to check his forehead, but he pulled away. “No”, he said, way more vehemently than expected. At first, Kaya thought his reaction was related to her touch, but as Theo continued talking after a quick pause of distress, she discovered the real reason behind his indignation.

 

“You don’t have to do anything besides get better right now”, he ended his train of thought. Always caring and considerate. God, how much she loved this man. And as much as she appreciated his understanding of her situation, it couldn’t stay like that forever. “And you don’t have to do anything besides change”, she countered, unsure how to respond to his kindness with anything other than quirkiness.

 

“You’ve got half an hour, till we have to leave the house.” Theo nodded, turning around and making his way to the bathroom. Kaya watched him disappear behind the door. His steps slower and his posture more hunched than usual.

 

Shrugging, she got ready herself, squeezing into her favorite cocktail dress. It was red and revealing and always made her feel more precious than she was. Carefully matching her make up to the dress, lips and cheeks in the same tone and black smokey eyes as a contrast. She weaved her hair, which was clearly suffering from the hormonal chaos of her period, into an unspectacular braid, when her boyfriend emerged from the shower.

 

Towel around his waist, chest still drippy, he looked up, shock printed onto his features, as he caught a glimpse of her, between his swollen slits of eyes, behind his steam-smudged glasses. “Wow”, was all he could muster in the beginning. A few seconds went by before he found his voice again. “You look…” He was struggling to find a fitting word, while he waved his arms around or… while he was potentially fighting off a sneeze? Maybe it was just her imagination going wild, though.

 

After a few seconds he gave up on the perfect designation, saying: “Anyways… I’m so lucky.” At that comment Kaya’s heart skipped a beat. “I’m so lucky”, she chirped back. Nothing, not even this dress, had ever made her feel as pretty as Theo did.

 

“hhhh… hhhii…” So, he had been averting a sneeze. Kaya licked her lips as she watched her half-naked boyfriend fold in half in an abnormally huge effort. Tummy expanding with an enormous intake of air, he involuntarily gave in.

 

“Excuse me… So…” The rambling beforehand. One word. Three letters. Hot. She absolutely was the luckiest of girlfriends.

 

“hhhh… So sorryyhhhHH’EEIGHhsCHuue, HHHHhhhaaa’NKghXSHeww, hhhHHHHEEEE’XGTZschiiiiHHHHIII’YjEiNykshooo.” “Bless you”, Kaya said.

 

She was really torn if she should feel extremely turned on or concerned. These sneezes sounded so different from the ones she was normally used to. Waaay more hitchy, high-pitched and even… loud? Something Kaya never ever had associated with them before, unless Theo had been going through a very intense, uncontrollable allergy attack.

 

But now, the first set was already so urgent, that one sneeze didn’t even leave him time to properly inhale for the next one, merging in a tremendously long desperate gasp with eruptions in between. Yesterday she had noticed them for the first time, but hadn’t thought anything of them until now. There seemed to be a pattern behind them, a certain allergen, that was causing them to escape Theo’s nose differently, otherwise they probably wouldn’t occur so closely together.  

 

“Are you okay?”, Kaya asked, as she watched Theo helplessly holding back the waterfall behind his nostrils. “Snfsnf… Fide… Snrfl”, he managed in between sniffles, stretching out one finger in a I just need to blow my nose real quick gesture. Oh my god. How did she even deserve this man?

 

A few minutes later they left the hose. Kaya had put on flat shoes, even though they didn’t fit, so she could drive to the restaurant.  She was a little disappointed in the plain outfit choice of her boyfriend. Theo had put on a beige shirt with button-down, black trousers and sneakers. No jewelry, posture uninterested and air-drying hair still moist.

 

Sighing, she ignored the fact that, next to her, he seemed weirdly underdressed for the occasion. The drive was short and quiet. Kaya was starting to get worried by the lack of trepidation in Theo’s behavior, since she couldn’t possibly imagine that one workday had been able to cure his trauma.

 

As she was pulling up to the street parallel to the coast, which would ultimately lead them to their destination, she decided to address his silence. “Honey? Are you okay?” Instead of answering her question, Theo snorted with congestion. “Did you just call me honey?” “Yes… I-I think I did”, she said, giggling in disbelief. “It’s official. We’re a married couple from now on”, her boyfriend joked.  

 

As the colors of the surrounding night circled around them in the car, they laughed, giving each other the strangest nicknames, they could think of. The rest of the drive passed in the blink of an eye. Kaya was so delighted that the volume of her laughter overlapped Theo’s, which made her notice his breathless chuckle only subliminally.

 

As she parked the car in front of their destination, Kaya already knew, that she landed the jackpot by trusting Marcel’s suggestion. The restaurant was located on the second floor, which could only be reached via a spiral staircase on the outside.

 

While Kaya ran up, blinded from the joy of the upcoming evening, she inadvertently shook off Theo, who arrived a good minute after her, with flaring nostrils and jerking Adam’s apple from the exertion.

 

The balcony, where she had reserved their dinner table, was right above the beach. As the waiter sat them down at the edge, they could look over the railing, down on the shore with its crashing waves and its dark horizon.

 

Kaya was so busy admiring the magical scenery to her right, that she didn’t realize Theo taking her hand, at first. “This is stunning. But not nearly as stunning as you”, he confessed, locking eyes with her, his iris reflecting every imaginable ocean in the world.

 

“Thank you for this, baby”, he whispered, leaning over and giving her a peck on the forehead. Kaya flushed at his natural use of the nickname, as if it wasn’t the first but the thousandth time, he used it on her.

 

They received the menu and Kaya couldn’t suppress her thoughts any longer. If she had to share them with someone, it would be Theo. She needed, no… She wanted to break the news to him. She wasn’t afraid anymore. As they scouted the different meal options, which all sounded as fancy as this place looked, Kaya said: “I’ll got to therapy. I think, it’s for the best. For me, but also for the both of us. It’s time.” Theo’s gaze shot up. Now, she could be sure of his full attention.

 

“I wanna finish my studies. And I wanna start working so that you don’t have to do it all alone. I wanna assist you financially as well as I wanna break away from my father and help my mother do the same.” A small but meaningful smile spread across her boyfriend’s lips.

 

As the waiter came over to take their non-existent orders, he simply and calmly said: “We need another minute.” The tear on the rim of his left eye, that he had trouble blinking away, was probably one of the most genuine sights, Kaya had ever seen on a human being. Fingers trembling, he wiped it away. How could he get more perfect? “I’m so proud of you.”

Any wishes how their date will continue? Maybe some public sneezing torture?

[secret19]

Thank you for coming back to me Glitter I thought I had lost you. Amazing update but you know me, always hungry for more. Thank you for this and praying for more soon!!!!

[Privatedancer]

This is lovely.  

[RipleyToo]

Yes! Please give us more! Amazing update! Love how these 2 interact with each other. Public sneezes are fine by me 🥰 

[marzipan]

Theo and Kaya are such an adorable couple 😊

[secret19]

Just finished reading this over for the 50th time LOL. I hope there is an update soon it is such a beautiful read ❤️❤️❤️

[dwaekki]

@secret19I know how it feels haha, I always keep this story in my open tabs just to check for an update every now and then, it really is one of the best things to read ❤️

[Catsgotyourtounge]

This is one of my favorite stories of all time! It is beautifully written!