Have you ever told someone about the fetish?

[Lacrima]

If so, how did they react? Were they understanding/kind? Did you regret telling them?

I only told my fiancé when we started dating and also my ex boyfriend at the time.
My ex bf thought it was a bit weird and we never talked about it again, I remember I felt super awkward at the time. After we broke up, he said he still thought about me every time he heard someone sneeze and told me I was a weirdo.

When I met my fiancé 5 years ago, I really wanted to tell him about it but was mortified about the reaction he would have. He was really curious so we played a little game cause I wasn’t able to just tell him, so I gave him clues and he finally found out what it was. He said it was super cute and different and started asking questions about it. Then he just got up and went to get some pepper and tissues to try and induce.

So I was curious to know how it was for you guys, if you want to share  

[snzmn2016]

If it's the right person, it will work well. 

[AntheaHolmes]

I told my girlfriend about it. She's okay with it but she doesn't indulge in it and that is fine with me. I guess it's a really private matter. 

[Deuce Williams]

Told my first partner, and they were very understanding and accepting about it, which I really appreciated since before then I'd told no one. I think the act of it helped get me more comfortable with the thought of saying it out loud and fully accepting it as part of myself.

Told a real life friend. Didn't regret it, but I now wish they didn't know only because I don't want to be part of their thoughts anymore.

Told some online friends. Was terrified out of my skin at first and they've continued to show me nothing but love and acceptance and encouragement to explore ever since. Haven't regretted it yet, and it's looking like I never will.

Told my sibling in solidarity as they were struggling with accepting some of their own preferences. Pretty sure they've forgotten

[Dukesdaisy]

I once told a guy I was dating for a little bit about it and made him swear to take it to his grave. His reaction to it wasn’t horrible or anything. He was curious and seemed pretty okay with it to be honest. I think he’s forgotten about it since it’s been a few years, but I remember that he broke my trust on a separate issue the next day. Having any fetish is a very intimate thing and I don’t really like sharing it with just anyone, especially when it’s not a more “common place” fetish. So it took a lot for me to build up the courage to tell him just for him to show me I shouldn’t have trusted him with the other thing. So now I still have a fear of telling whoever my significant other ends up being down the road (just because everyone reacts differently and not everyone will be okay with it) and also a fear that they’ll somehow expose that very intimate detail to other people in my life who I don’t want to know. 

[Lauren]

The first person I told was my ex about a month after we started dating, when things were already serious and I fully trusted him. He was really curious about it and didn't judge me at all, and it became an important part of our intimacy together.

Since we broke up, I've told 3 more men. Two of them have been guys I dated, but I told them much sooner in the relationship compared to my first ex. The 4th person I told was actually more of a hookup and I told him on the night I met him, because he was just really sexually open and expressed a deep interest in knowing my sexual preferences so I felt I could trust him. 

In all four cases, they have been understanding, non-judgemental, and willing to experiment with it (as far as inducing goes, 3 out of 4 have strongly preferred chinkhi powder to other methods, because it feels the most natural) 

At this point my main hesitation on telling guys I date is that I enjoy hearing their natural sneezes first and having fun with it for a bit before they know about the fetish.

With the guy I'm dating now, I heard him sneeze on the phone twice, and then I induced myself while on the phone so I could hear him bless me 🥰 Then I got impatient, so I told him the next time we hung out, and since then it's been great - I'll probably post some obs soon 😁

[Sneezefairy]

On 7/2/2023 at 4:44 PM, lacrima said:

If so, how did they react? Were they understanding/kind? Did you regret telling them?

I only told my fiancé when we started dating and also my ex boyfriend at the time.
My ex bf thought it was a bit weird and we never talked about it again, I remember I felt super awkward at the time. After we broke up, he said he still thought about me every time he heard someone sneeze and told me I was a weirdo.

When I met my fiancé 5 years ago, I really wanted to tell him about it but was mortified about the reaction he would have. He was really curious so we played a little game cause I wasn’t able to just tell him, so I gave him clues and he finally found out what it was. He said it was super cute and different and started asking questions about it. Then he just got up and went to get some pepper and tissues to try and induce.

So I was curious to know how it was for you guys, if you want to share  

I haven’t told anyone about it yet, and I don’t know if I ever will. Honestly I kind of like it that way because I also just love sneezing in general and I can indulge myself ❤️

[Lacrima]

On 7/3/2023 at 12:41 AM, AntheaHolmes said:

I told my girlfriend about it. She's okay with it but she doesn't indulge in it and that is fine with me. I guess it's a really private matter. 

I’m glad she’s okay with it. To be honest now that i’m thinking of it, I have no idea how I would react if I didn’t have the fetish and my bf had it. I think i’d respect it as well but wouldn’t indulge in it either because i’d be scared to make things awkward or maybe feel uncomfortable doing anything at all, it’s nice that you respect that 

[Lacrima]

On 7/3/2023 at 7:12 AM, Deuce Williams said:

Told my first partner, and they were very understanding and accepting about it, which I really appreciated since before then I'd told no one. I think the act of it helped get me more comfortable with the thought of saying it out loud and fully accepting it as part of myself.

Told a real life friend. Didn't regret it, but I now wish they didn't know only because I don't want to be part of their thoughts anymore.

Told some online friends. Was terrified out of my skin at first and they've continued to show me nothing but love and acceptance and encouragement to explore ever since. Haven't regretted it yet, and it's looking like I never will.

Told my sibling in solidarity as they were struggling with accepting some of their own preferences. Pretty sure they've forgotten

That’s amazing that everyone supported you when you told them! I totally understand what you said about not wanting to be in your friends thoughts anymore because of that, that’s understandable. But maybe they don’t think about it at all anymore or just forgot about it over time.

It’s also really sweet that you told your silbling in solidarity, I don’t think I could ever tell mine though, i’m not that brave 

[Lacrima]

On 7/7/2023 at 7:30 AM, Dukesdaisy said:

I once told a guy I was dating for a little bit about it and made him swear to take it to his grave. His reaction to it wasn’t horrible or anything. He was curious and seemed pretty okay with it to be honest. I think he’s forgotten about it since it’s been a few years, but I remember that he broke my trust on a separate issue the next day. Having any fetish is a very intimate thing and I don’t really like sharing it with just anyone, especially when it’s not a more “common place” fetish. So it took a lot for me to build up the courage to tell him just for him to show me I shouldn’t have trusted him with the other thing. So now I still have a fear of telling whoever my significant other ends up being down the road (just because everyone reacts differently and not everyone will be okay with it) and also a fear that they’ll somehow expose that very intimate detail to other people in my life who I don’t want to know. 

It sucks that he betrayed your trust so quickly even if it was about something else. I really think that when you meet the right person, you’ll know when you should tell them, it will be natural for you. 

We can't be 100% sure of anything but knowing the person I'm with, even if we had to separate, I know he wouldn't tell anyone because he knows how intimate and personal it is. You'll know when you feel like it's time to tell someone, don't rush.

[AntheaHolmes]

On 7/11/2023 at 7:38 PM, lacrima said:

I’m glad she’s okay with it. To be honest now that i’m thinking of it, I have no idea how I would react if I didn’t have the fetish and my bf had it. I think i’d respect it as well but wouldn’t indulge in it either because i’d be scared to make things awkward or maybe feel uncomfortable doing anything at all, it’s nice that you respect that 

I thought about that too. I'm grateful for the way she reacted but I'm also happy that it's not a big a deal. I would always respect her wishes and decisions. 😊 I think it's so important in a healthy relationship. To be honest about my fetish was a big step buy so worth it. No more hiding. 

[Lacrima]

21 hours ago, AntheaHolmes said:

I thought about that too. I'm grateful for the way she reacted but I'm also happy that it's not a big a deal. I would always respect her wishes and decisions. 😊 I think it's so important in a healthy relationship. To be honest about my fetish was a big step buy so worth it. No more hiding. 

You’re totally right. I wish you guys the best! And i’m glad you were able to open up about it with her, I know how hard it must’ve been and it’s amazing that it went well for you!  

[AntheaHolmes]

55 minutes ago, lacrima said:

You’re totally right. I wish you guys the best! And i’m glad you were able to open up about it with her, I know how hard it must’ve been and it’s amazing that it went well for you!  

Thanks for your kind word. 😊

[Darkjolteon]

I have told a group of friends who laughed it off or teased me whenever someone sneezed. It was hurtful. I hated it. 

I have managed to tell 3 significant others. One teased me and told her friend and they sneezed infront of me too much. It was like actual torture. The other two were nice about it and even talked with me about it. That allowed me to feel better about it within the relationship. 

I will never tell friends again. If a SO won't be nice about it, I figure that's one of my biggest red flags. So it won't work. Thats all i have for you. But to each their own. 

[solitaire-au]

@Darkjolteon I’m so sorry that others have been so unkind to you after you took the risk and exposed a vulnerable part of yourself to them. But I am glad that two of your previous partners were accepting.

[Lacrima]

45 minutes ago, Darkjolteon said:

I have told a group of friends who laughed it off or teased me whenever someone sneezed. It was hurtful. I hated it. 

I have managed to tell 3 significant others. One teased me and told her friend and they sneezed infront of me too much. It was like actual torture. The other two were nice about it and even talked with me about it. That allowed me to feel better about it within the relationship. 

I will never tell friends again. If a SO won't be nice about it, I figure that's one of my biggest red flags. So it won't work. Thats all i have for you. But to each their own. 

Oh no.. I’m so sorry. I feel like if I told one of my friends they’d just tease me forever about it as well. It sucks though.

I agree with you, if your SO doesn’t respect your privacy and just tells their friends it’s not even worth it in my opinion. I’m happy the other two were nice about it with you and that you set yourself boundaries. Props to you for that 

[pacificatmospheric]

I’ve told several people I’ve dated and many strangers. I think if I’m trying to date someone and not just hook up I will hold off on telling them for a little bit until I get comfortable but almost all people I’ve told were open to trying.  Only a few people I’ve told weren’t open to trying but it also didn’t make anything awkward to mention the kink.  The trick is to not preface it too heavily and be confident when telling them. If you build it up too much they may assume it’s worse than it actually is. The kink is obviously not everyone’s cup of tea, and some people will say no. Making calculated risks also important, but if someone is interested in you and open to trying things that are kinky it may be worth a shot to mention. Although if it’s someone you don’t know well you also need to determine if they’re into casual sex bc some ppl only have sex in relationships. Basically only mention your kink to ppl who have expressed sexual interest in you is a good rule of thumb. 

[solitaire-au]

One of the key points to remember is not just “will they be accepting of your feelings around sneezing?”
 

But this: will they respect your privacy and keep your desires secret and confidential?
 

Most of us would be horrified if we told someone, and one of the following happened: 

1) They thought it was OK to tell others (or didn’t care about our feelings) and did so because it struck them as unusual, odd, intriguing etc. and they were dying to share it with others.

2) They told other people because they thought it was funny or amusing, (whether or not they were drunk at the time.)

3) They wanted to inflict hurt and embarrassment to us by revealing it others, especially if the relationship was going/had gone sour.

Sorry to be a negative Nancy, but that’s why I think it’s really, really important to think carefully before you tell someone. Not just in regards to romantic partners either.
 

Telling a friend or family member could turn out badly if they chose to tell someone else, and then half your friendship circle/family knows and they are cruel to you over it, as Darkjolteon and others here have sadly discovered.

[Lacrima]

On 7/16/2023 at 6:26 PM, solitaire-au said:

One of the key points to remember is not just “will they be accepting of your feelings around sneezing?”
 

But this: will they respect your privacy and keep your desires secret and confidential?
 

Most of us would be horrified if we told someone, and one of the following happened: 

1) They thought it was OK to tell others (or didn’t care about our feelings) and did so because it struck them as unusual, odd, intriguing etc. and they were dying to share it with others.

2) They told other people because they thought it was funny or amusing, (whether or not they were drunk at the time.)

3) They wanted to inflict hurt and embarrassment to us by revealing it others, especially if the relationship was going/had gone sour.

Sorry to be a negative Nancy, but that’s why I think it’s really, really important to think carefully before you tell someone. Not just in regards to romantic partners either.
 

Telling a friend or family member could turn out badly if they chose to tell someone else, and then half your friendship circle/family knows and they are cruel to you over it, as Darkjolteon and others here have sadly discovered.

Well, I agree. Of course it's important that the person we talk to about it accepts and respects that part of us, but the most important thing when telling someone about the fetish is in fact to be able to keep our privacy and secrets safe.

That's why it would be important to only share it with people we actually know and really trust/love them and just trying to sense when or if it's a great idea to talk to them. If there's any doubt, I would just refrain instantly and wait until i'd feel comfortable enough to do it, that's something i've learned. I've personally regretted talking about it to a person I don't talk to anymore and I have no idea if he shared it with someone else and I never will. But at least I know no one from my friends or family know about it and that's a relief because I imagine that it must be really difficult to face it once they know.

And it's okay, you're being realistic and sharing your point of view  

Also, it depends on others personalities and confidence as well. It would be an uncomfortable situation for me personally, but maybe some people are 100% confident with the fetish and wouldn't mind sharing it with family members, friends or acquaintances and as long as that's okay for that person, that's great too. Although I think it would only be a few people, but who knows.

[PapaBear70]

Nope. Never in person. I'm not sure if I ever could. I'd like to say that I would, but I'd almost have to be 100% sure they have the same, if not a similar type of fetish

[Lacrima]

2 hours ago, papabear70 said:

Nope. Never in person. I'm not sure if I ever could. I'd like to say that I would, but I'd almost have to be 100% sure they have the same, if not a similar type of fetish

I wish you to find that person someday, we never know  I’m sure if that person has a different fetish they would certainly have less trouble accepting and understanding yours.

[Lacrima]

On 7/10/2023 at 7:28 AM, Sneezefairy said:

I haven’t told anyone about it yet, and I don’t know if I ever will. Honestly I kind of like it that way because I also just love sneezing in general and I can indulge myself ❤️

As long as you’re comfortable with your decision that’s what matters! I would love to be able to indulge myself with my own sneezes, but it never worked  That’s super great for you!

[Mr Sneezy]

I've told all but one of my lovers. My girlfriend now sniffs chinkinni for me quite happily.

[Sneezefairy]

8 hours ago, lacrima said:

As long as you’re comfortable with your decision that’s what matters! I would love to be able to indulge myself with my own sneezes, but it never worked  That’s super great for you!

Awe thank you! It’s definitely a blessing and a curse sometimes 😅

[Lacrima]

22 hours ago, Mr Sneezy said:

I've told all but one of my lovers. My girlfriend now sniffs chinkinni for me quite happily.

That's awesome! My fiance does the same for me as well, fun times