100 ways to get kicked out of Wal-Mart

[tk2927]

Hahaha, I think Kiwifruit is the winner so far...

My addition: Set up a folding table in the store. Grab several various products from the shelves and sell those items to people for less than the retail costs. A big handwritten sign on their posterboard that says BIG DISCOUNTS couldn't hurt either!

[smooshi]

- hand condoms to little children with parents, asking them if they tried this new kind of candies

- try to break the record of the number of people doing the Time Warp/Macarena/Ententanz at the same time and place. Bring the loudspeakers!

- organize Nazi convention

[Ciel]

Tap a random customer on the shoulder and scream, "TAG YOU'RE ITTTT!!!" And run off with their shopping trolley.

Make loud beeping noises while walking in and out of the anti-theft detectors at the door. Repeat until a security guard stops you. Dump the contents of your backpack onto the floor at once and sob hysterially, "BUT I DIDN'T STEAL ANYTHING!!"

Get a plastic mat and sit on it. Then look pathetic while begging customers passing by, "Join my tea-party?"

Put a sign saying "Try out magic carpet for free!" onto a carpet.

[smooshi]

Organize sexual education class à la The Meaning of the Life in the toy aisle.

[Jemmabean]

Steal a pallet-jack from the backdock and ride it around the store

THIS! Those things make TOTALLY BITCHIN SOUPED-UP SCOOTERS!

[Chanel_no5]

Get a plastic mat and sit on it. Then look pathetic while begging customers passing by, "Join my tea-party?"

I have a feeling I laughed at this for the wrong reason, but who cares, it made me laugh.

[AbigailAnarcki]

Now i dont condone thief but id love to go in and eat all the food I wanted. That would most definatley get me kicked out.

[Renee]

OMG!!! most of these are sooo funny!!!

[MissMercy]

Build a fort in the middle of the store and demand a toll for people to pass through.

Dress up like a zombie and follow around random people (be loud).

Put candy on lay-a-way.

Talk in gibberish then get mad when no one can translate for you.

Food fight in the groceries section (extra points if you joust with the french bread). Get mad when people try to stop you.

[42686]

Throw a turkey on the ground and yell "RUN! YOU'RE FREE! YOU'RE FREE!"

[smooshi]

Enter the toy aisle when there're many kids around with a random picturebook under your arm, sit down on the floor, smile and happily announce: "Hello, children, hello. Here is this morning's story. Are you ready? Then we'll begin!"

And then... well, I am quite sure you know what to do. And yes, it does have something to do with melons.

[hails]

Enter the toy aisle when there're many kids around with a random picturebook under your arm, sit down on the floor, smile and happily announce: "Hello, children, hello. Here is this morning's story. Are you ready? Then we'll begin!"

And then... well, I am quite sure you know what to do. And yes, it does have something to do with melons.

How DAAAAARE you forget this one, Loca!!!

Run up and down every aisle cosplaying Rocky Horror Picture Show singing/dancing/both Time Warp

[Nicolias312]

OMG I LOVE THESE!!! Everyone here is so hilarious!

Okay.... hmmm.

1. Grab sticks of ladies deodorant and pass them out to random men passing by and say "You'd use them if you knew what was good for you."

2. Get a bottle of shampoo. Open it, and use half of the shampoo on your shirt, then squirt people passing by.

3. Get a weight watchers magazine, climb to the top of a high shelf, then page through it, looking like your really interested. Lick your fingers as you read. Then, choose a random dude and start talking about Jessica Simson's progress.

4. get Elmer's glue and a couple balls of yarn. Get a hat, glue the yarn to the hat, and put on little kids' heads. When the parents get annoyed, then sprint away screaming "I'M BEING CHASED BY AN ANGRY GORILLA AND HER FUNKY MONKEY!" ( I got that from a book called Gimme gamme or something that I read when I was 7)

do all these things and you will get kicked out!!!

[M_Twi_Love]

Go up to the clerk...and ask for directions to K-mart. Lol.

[Raven Insight]

Walk into any aisle, and scream WOW THAT'S A LOW PRICE.

[ziuziu12]

Run around screaming, "WHY ARE THERE SO MANY MONKEYS!?" While waving your arms around and doing cross-eyes, (If you can ^P^)

[Clarion]

Stalk the cute guy that stocks the eggs, milk, ect.

Wear your pants as a shirt.

Go up to random employees and scream "Unexceptablllllllleeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Go up and down the isles screaming the adventure time theme song.

[DaylightStarr]

Streak.

Um, you'd think that would get you kicked out, wouldn't you? If you come in early enough and are fat enough that your fat covers your exposed bits, they will not throw you out.

I speak from horrifying, breach bleach inducing experience.

[Chanel_no5]

I speak from horrifying, breach bleach inducing experience.

I demand to hear this story.

[DaylightStarr]

I speak from horrifying, breach bleach inducing experience.

I demand to hear this story.

Alright, but you totally asked for it. When I worked at Wal-Mart I worked the 5:30 AM shift and one day this very, er, large man comes in wearing nothing below the waist. But you couldn't see anything in the front because of his gut, sadly everything in the back was exposed. As workers we tried to get him thrown out but the managers wouldn't do it because they didn't want to lose a sale and it was early enough that there weren't any other people in the store.

Maybe they hoped he was going to buy underwear and pants...

[Chanel_no5]

I speak from horrifying, breach bleach inducing experience.

I demand to hear this story.

Alright, but you totally asked for it. When I worked at Wal-Mart I worked the 5:30 AM shift and one day this very, er, large man comes in wearing nothing below the waist. But you couldn't see anything in the front because of his gut, sadly everything in the back was exposed. As workers we tried to get him thrown out but the managers wouldn't do it because they didn't want to lose a sale and it was early enough that there weren't any other people in the store.

Maybe they hoped he was going to buy underwear and pants...

Bwaahahahahahaha, oh my God, that actually happened???!! Whoa! Isn't it a bit too cold to walk around nude in Alaska anyway? (maybe that's why you couldn't see anything in the front... alright, I'll shut up now.)

[DaylightStarr]

Bwaahahahahahaha, oh my God, that actually happened???!! Whoa! Isn't it a bit too cold to walk around nude in Alaska anyway? (maybe that's why you couldn't see anything in the front... alright, I'll shut up now.)

You would only HOPE it's too cold for such goings on, but somehow he did it.

*Dying laughing* So wrong!!!!!

[whatthepie]

Oh my gosh I love this game!

Step 1: Dress up like a cave man. (And don't even think about half assing it! I mean the whole shabam with the lit torch and everything.)

Step 2: Run down the frozen food aisle while shouting, pick up the biggest hunk of meat you can find, and proceed to sprint out of the store.

Disclaimer: This one could actually get you in some serious deep shit so I wouldn't actually recommend it xD

[whatthepie]

OMG I LOVE THESE!!! Everyone here is so hilarious!

Okay.... hmmm.

1. Grab sticks of ladies deodorant and pass them out to random men passing by and say "You'd use them if you knew what was good for you."

2. Get a bottle of shampoo. Open it, and use half of the shampoo on your shirt, then squirt people passing by.

3. Get a weight watchers magazine, climb to the top of a high shelf, then page through it, looking like your really interested. Lick your fingers as you read. Then, choose a random dude and start talking about Jessica Simson's progress.

4. get Elmer's glue and a couple balls of yarn. Get a hat, glue the yarn to the hat, and put on little kids' heads. When the parents get annoyed, then sprint away screaming "I'M BEING CHASED BY AN ANGRY GORILLA AND HER FUNKY MONKEY!" ( I got that from a book called Gimme gamme or something that I read when I was 7)

do all these things and you will get kicked out!!!

I laughed way to hard at these, especially the one about the weight watcher's magazine because I could totally see that happening xD you're a comedy wizard for making that up

[cuneas]

Say to the icee machine operator "Who do I talk to to register a bomb threat?"

(As God is my witness, I actually did this as a kid when they ran out of my favorite flavor. I was one hell of a weird kid.)