Falling Hard and Fast (M) - (14 Parts) - complete!

[obsessed]

Ooooh, this chapter was so angsty and frustrating. I adored it.

The ending was so sad! I feel bad for Sonja, too bad he's sucha jerk.

I still think he has a soft part though, lmao. I love Kapser no matter what.

Also, the part where they touch? Barely but still touch? AHHH. That was intense.

I loved your description of him while he was asleep.

Brilliance. <3

[Sitruuna]

Kaspers lovely... It was nice when he fell asleep and how you discribed it and I think it's just great that he's a jerk... (:

[jezebel215]

there's still time for kas to unjerkify! (and I, of course, am eternally hopeful)

yummmy yummy story

[starpollen]

OH. MY. GOOD. HOLY. GOD.

Yeah. You slayed me. Literally. How hostile he is? How much he fights how sick he's gotten? And how hard she fights not to give in to her instincts, to just shove him into bed and say, "Dude! GIVE UP. You're freakin' sick!" *sigh*

I am expecting a big emotional payoff, just FYI. Like, B.I.G. Like, she gets to tuck him into bed when he's all feverish and shivery with tissues and soup and ginger ale and put a cool washcloth on him and ... gahh... Yeah.

Just so ya know!

[Just Older]

Oooh! I love the way you talked about Kas when he was sleeping. It was excllent. Poor Sonja, in love with such an ass.

[Nixie81]

I absolutely love your story! Keep up the good work!

[meepsy]

Gahhhh! you all are so amazing! thank you for commenting. Kasper is off sulking in a corner, but I'm sure he is just relishing all this attention... <<Kasper: Oh, I'll fuckging relish sombething, alrighdt!...... incohereent mumblings:>> ...

Anyway, here's part ten! kind of another split-in-half chapter, only because it was getting to be pretty lengthy. It's a weird mix of angst and me having fun; the next part will probably be more on the angsty-side...Also, Star...when the time comes... Let's just say I don't think you'll be disappointed...

A bit heavier on the language, just FYI:

Part Ten

It was shaping out to be the worst Valentine’s Day ever, and for Sonja, that was saying something. Back at the diner, she was forced to contend with an endless drove of lovebird couples as they exchanged nauseating nicknames and simpered over shared cheesecakes. It was almost enough to make Sonja wish she was back at home, but then she remembered how horrible last night had been, and suddenly, the diner felt like paradise.

It was all so stupid... If only she had held back that urge to touch him, to soothe him, maybe the night would have gone differently…but it didn’t matter, what was done was done. And anyway, she wouldn’t have taken it back, even now, because despite whatever he felt he needed to prove, Sonja could tell that last night Kasper really had been feeling quite awful, and, even if her concern itself went rejected, Sonja thought that having him made aware that she was concerned may have provided for him at least a little comfort. She hoped, anyway…

---

It was late afternoon, and the diner had calmed down a bit, but was still busier than usual. Was there really no other place in this town to have a romantic lunch-dinner date? Sonja thought, irritated, but then she realized that no, there really wasn’t.

As she was serving a sweet elderly couple their matching turkey clubs, Sonja received a sharp tap on the back of her shoulder. She turned around to see Mary, dressed in red, with cute, little dangly heart earrings, looking at her with a half-excited, half-mischievous expression.

“You’ve got a call,” she said cheerily. “from, er…Kasper, was it?”

“What?!?!” Sonja’s stomach did a sick sort of summersault. What in the freaking hell was going on?! What could possibly have prompted the man who had the night before refused to even sleep in the room next to Sonja, to call her at work, on Valentine’s Day, completely out of the blue? Sonja couldn’t even begin to guess.

Heart thrumming wildly, Sonja picked up the phone at the back counter and put it to her ear:

“Hello?” she asked nervously.

“Sonja?” The voice on the line was so hoarse and deep and thick with congestion that Sonja barely recognized it. But even more disconcerting was the sharp tone of panic that laced it. Sonja tried to keep her own voice from catching as she answered:

“Yes, Kasp- …Kas. What is it?”

“Idt’s Sammby…he’s-” Kasper was cut off by a brutal bought of deep, chesty coughs. “…he feels warmb…I thinkg he has a fever…” Another bought of painful coughs. God, he sounded horrible…

“Kasper, calm down” Sonja said slowly. “I’m sure Sammy’s fine-”

“Idt’s all mby fault…I dodn’t why I ever agreed tdo do this…” A deep liquidy sniff, and more coughs. “…I dodn’t kndow the first fuckging thing aboudt kids…and now they’re both fuckging sickg and I just…I cand’t…” he was having a complete meltdown, coughing, gasping in shaky breaths, only to cough some more. Sonja thought he might be approaching tears even. It shattered her heart to listen to him struggle like that – she wanted nothing more that to be there in that moment, holding him, calming him.

“I’m coming back, okay? I’ll be right over, just relax.” The words came out of Sonja’s mouth before she even realized what she was saying. She still had two hours left of her shift, but that didn’t matter. Right now, all that mattered was him.

“Okgay…” came his shaky reply. He was already sounding a bit more subdued, thank goodness.

“Okay. Be there soon, alright? Bye.”

“Bye, Sonja……thankg you.” It was almost a whisper, but it was enough to send icy-hot shivers pouring down Sonja’s spine.

“So, what’s going on?” Mary asked when Sonja hung up the phone. “It was that guy that was in here before, right? Whoo man, that boy was a fine piece of ass…”

“Yea, uh…” Sonja mumbled, blushing furiously. “...listen, Mary, I have to go…it’s uh…an emergency…” Mary looked surprised, but then, a knowing gleam entered her impish eyes.

“oh riiiiight, an emergency. On Valentine’s Day. Involving a man who just happens to be sexy beyond all reason...”

“No, Jesus!! It’s not!!-” Sonja stuttered, blushing even deeper upon the realization of what Mary was insinuating.

“Ha ha, don’t worry, I’ll cover for you. God knows you’re the last person who should be passing up a chance to get some, especially from such a fine-”

“Freaking GOD Mary!! Icannotbeliveyoujustsaidthat!!!” Sonja blurted out frantically as she collected her purse and coat, knowing that she’d get out of there faster if she made no argument.

“Oh Sonja, if anyone ever needed a lay more in their life, you do!”

“When I get back, I am going to ANNIHALATE you!!!”

“Ha ha ha! Go get ‘em, tiger! Mary called as Sonja rushed out the back door, mortified beyond all belief.

---

The ten minute drive seemed endless, but finally Sonja arrived back at the duplex, apprehension tingling through her veins. She wasn't really too worried about Sammy; she had spent her whole teenage career babysitting, so one sick toddler wasn’t really a big deal. Kasper, on the other hand, had sounded as if he was on the verge of complete and utter collapse, and, after all that had transpired so far, that was something Sonja had absolutely no idea how to deal with.

She knocked on the door, and was surprised to have it answered almost immediately. Kasper stood, bracing himself against the door, still dressed in the clothes from yesterday, pale-faced, with a frenzied, glassy gleam in his eyes.

“Hey,” Sonja said, and watched him release a long, shaky sigh.

"Thankg god..." he mumbled, ushering her through the door, shivering noticeably as he closed it behind her. “He’s in his crib…” he began to explain as soon as she had taken off her coat, whispering since Molly was asleep on the couch. “…he’s coughingg and stuffy and he wond’t eadt anything…” he began again to cough himself, burying his face into the crook of his arm.

“Okay,” Sonja said, just barely restraining herself from putting her hand on his shoulder again. “Let’s go check on him.”

They walked quietly up the stairs, and down the hallway, she in the lead, until they got to the kids’ room. Sammy was sitting up in his crib, half-whining, half coughing. He looked tired and indeed, a bit flushed. Sonja gently lifted the child in her arms, and felt his forehead. He was warm, but only mildly, certainly nothing to panic over.

Sonja felt an incredible calm wash over her as she held the child, letting her instincts guide every motion. “Hello Sammy, sweetie” she murmured, holding the baby close to her chest as she listened to his small whines and congested breathing. “Yes, I know, I know…shhhh…”

“Do you have apple juice?” Sonja asked calmly when the child began to calm down and rest his head against her shoulder. Kasper stared, dumbfounded, but nodded.

“Great. We’ll warm some up with a little honey and that should help soothe his coughs a bit.”

As they went back down to the kitchen, Sonja heard behind her the quick intake of breath that prefaced one of Kasper’s sneezes:

“hgn’KSHUuh! ….eh’KCHSHuu!” The sneezes sounded especially messy, and Sonja resisted the temptation to look back at him, knowing he’d prefer to deal with the...repercussions without her looking on.

“Bless you,” she let herself say, but Kasper was too busy sniffling and coughing to take notice.

They reached the kitchen, and Kasper sat in a chair with Sammy as Sonja busied herself preparing Sammy’s drink. With a little coaxing, the toddler took the sippy cup, and the effects were apparent immediately. The child drank deeply from the cup and relaxed further in Kasper’s arms. This seemed to relax Kasper greatly as well, a look of warm affection entering his eyes that Sonja was startled and enamored by.

However, even after the drink, Sammy still seemed to be having some trouble breathing. Sonja tried to think of something that would help break up the congestion more…

Suddenly, an idea struck her, one that would help both Sammy and Kasper, but the very thought of it made Sonja blush uncontrollably.

“Um, Kas? …I think that maybe you should try taking Sammy with you into the…um…shower…”

“Excuse mbe?” Kasper raised his eyebrows, blushing a bit himself, despite the skeptical smirk that had planted itself on his face.

“No, um…I think the steam would really help Sammy to breathe better. It doesn’t have to be…long…or anything…” Sonja trailed off before she could make herself into any more of an idiot. She grudgingly looked toward Kasper, who looked back at her, the expression on his face turning thoughtful, the little grin broadening a bit, almost playfully…

“Sure, why ndot?” he said at last, carefully situating Sammy in his arms before getting up, shooting her another calculated smirk. “I ndeeded one anyway…” Ohhh, dear sweet lord…this was not a good idea at all!

Still grinning, Kasper carried Sammy out through the kitchen door, but turned around abruptly.

“Do you thinkg you could stay for a bidt? To makge sure Molly’s alridght?” he asked, with just enough innocence to make Sonja's heart leap into her throat.

“S-sure,” Sonja all but squeaked, and five minutes later, when she heard the water turn on above her, Sonja squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her hands to her temples, trying very hard to banish all of the indecent thoughts that had suddenly come rushing into her head…

<3 (hahaha...oh Sonja. ....Be back soon!)

[obsessed]

Awww! <33333

Mmkays, just re-read.

HOLY HECK THAT WAS ;ASLFKAFASL;DKJ;ASLKDFAD.

I'm not even a fan of coughing but that was lovely on him.

I love the fact he calls her, it's ADORABLEEE.

And the him, and the ...

[SomethingClever]

yup. second all of that. unfreakingbelieveably adorable, all three times I read it over

[everest]

What they said.

Such a loooovely story...

[sneezelove]

ooo i can't wait to see what happens next!!

[dumpling]

This is sooo awesome :heart:

Can't wait for the next part

[Aprilcot]

I am soo not going away and missing things like this genius again

I totally love all of these characters!

Thank you so much for writing this and please continue!!!!

[starpollen]

I CAN'T WAIT FOR MORE!!

[meepsy]

Auugh!! I am so sorry for not posting sooner, but I have been without internet and it's made getting onto this site particularly difficult ( ahem... ) but I'm here now, and on my birthday even!!

This part is, as promised, angsty. Maybe too angsty -- my editing skills leave much to be desired... Anyway, enjoy! I'm looking forward to writing the next part (I have been looking forward to writing the next part since I started this fic!!)

Thank you for your comments! they are fabulous motivation (and ego) boosters!

oooo yah, language warning: nothing you haven't heard from Kas before...

Part Eleven

“hg’KSH!! …g’TSHu!! ......h’GSHTUu!!”

Though muffled greatly by the distance and the rushing shower water, Sonja still managed to catch every one of Kasper’s steam-induced sneezes, and this, combined with the knowledge of his current state of…undress…combined to evoke in Sonja a particularly distressing mixture of sensations, none of which felt the least bit appropriate or decent.

As a means of distraction, Sonja did end up going to check on Molly. After testing the sleeping girl’s temperature, Sonja was happy to find that Molly’s fever had gone down considerably since yesterday. Thank goodness, she thought. At least someone in this house is getting better…

Speak of the devil. Sonja startled, eyes widening as she noticed the sudden absence of shower noises, and the heavy footsteps on the staircase that had taken their place.

“Hey…”

Sonja whipped around and found Kasper staring at her pensively from halfway down the staircase, dressed in sweats and a long-sleeved pullover, the sleeves of which had been scrunched up to his elbows. A towel was draped around his neck, and he reached one side of it up to dry his dripping hair. He looked relieved and relaxed, (and wet...), but his eyes still had that glassy gleam of exhaustion in them.

“Hey” Sonja replied softly. “How’s Sammy?”

Kasper smiled and descended the rest of the way down. “Your shower tricgk worked likge a charmb. I pudt him in his crib and he was asleep in seconds.” He stopped at the foot of the stairs and stared again, waiting for Sonja’s response.

“Well, that’s good to hear” she said rather stupidly. A beat of weighty silence, then: “Molly seems to be improving…?”

Kasper sighed, the unhealthy rattling audible even from so far away. “Yeah, I kndow. Budt I’ve been makging her restd all day and so she’s convinced I’mb likge this evil tyrandt who wond’t ledt her have any fun…” he looked genuinely upset by the idea, and Sonja had to remind herself that he was unused to the way children were able to flip their moods around at moment’s notice, Molly being no exception.

Sonja took a timid step from the couch toward him.“You’re doing the right thing, you know” she said reassuringly “I’m sure Molly will forgive you once she feels better. She’s not one to hold a grudge.”

Her words did not have the effect she had intended. Kasper groaned and sank down onto the bottom stair, resting his head in his hands, sliding them up his forehead and letting them catch in his damp hair. He began to cough, removing one hand from the messy locks of hair and curling into a tight fist against his mouth. Overcome with concern, Sonja felt herself draw closer to him still.

“I thingk she mighdt be…havingg s-seperation anxiety…or somethingg…” Kasper said; the fight to hold back his coughs making him stutter and hitch. “All she does…is talkg aboudt missingg…Karina…”

Finally, the fit became too powerful to contain, and Kasper fell under the mercy of deep, brutal coughs that signaled a bad cold at its peak of authority. Without thinking, Sonja walked right over to the stairs, sat down next to him, and placed her hand, delicately, but with command, against his back. His shirt was damp, either from the shower or from fever-induced sweat -- Sonja guessed the latter.

Astonishingly, Kasper did not tense or pull away from Sonja’s touch as she expected him to, but rather leaned into it, so that he was just barely slumped against her side. Sonja’s insides churned. Electric jolts ran up her arm all throughout her body with each spasm, each contortion of those beautiful back muscles which she could see outlined through his thin shirt—(even more potent were the small, chill-like shivers that came between the coughs) but she forced herself to remain cool and steady, rubbing in slow, smooth circles until, at last, the fit abated.

Kasper let out a soft moan of pain. His eyes were still clamped shut, head turned down and away, but still, he offered no resistance against her touch.

“Sonja…” he began softly, hoarsely, and Sonja trembled, wondering if this might finally be the moment were he would let it all go, and just succumb…

Then, the phone rang.

They both jumped a bit at the sound, Kasper blinking as if coming out of a daze. He looked up at Sonja, then immediately turned away, blushing brightly. Sonja removed her hand.

“Sorry” she mumbled. For a moment, Kasper looked as if he wanted to say something back, but then he gave up and went to answer the phone.

“Hello? Who’s this?” he asked, aggravated; the ramifications of the coughing fit gratingly apparent in his voice.

“Oh, hey sis…” He adopted a slightly more forgiving tone. “How’s it going with thadt freaking imbecile Paul?” he listened, then snorted with disapproval.

“Ah, you made upb then? How wonderful…....Whadt? Ndo, I’mb finde!…...the kids are finde…...they’re sleepbingg…yeah, they, uh, both cambe down with a small cold so- …...no, itd’s nothing I cand’t handle…”

Sonja couldn't help rolling her eyes at that one. Nothing you can’t handle…right...

“So, whadt’s up?...” he walked toward the kitchen, probably in attempts not to disturb Molly. But before he got there, he stopped dead in his tracks:

“…waidt – you whadt?! Another weegk?!?!?” Sonja watched as Kasper turned around in disbelief, eyes widening with shock and horror.

“Are you fuckgingg serious?!?!......Kari, I cand’t-…you cadn’t expecgt mbe……I kndow, I kndow, Jesus!!- ……listen Kari, Molly really mibisses you! I dond’t thinkg she’ll be- … No, she fuckging WON’T! …Kari, listen to mbe!!...Kari? ......Karina?!?! .........GODDAMN IDT!” He slammed the phone down in disgust and rage, then immediately spun around to make sure he hadn’t woken up Molly.

But she was already wide awake.

“M-mommy’s not coming home? She’s supposed to come home on Monday…” tears were already sliding down the little girls cheeks. Kasper looked at her, his eyes full of anger, desperation, and guilt.

“Molly, please. Dond’t start this- ” he began, but the girl cut him off.

“She doesn’t l-love me anymore!!!” she wailed. “She wants me to be s-sad forever, just like YOU!!!”

“Molly, cudt idt oudt! Of course, your momb loves you! And-”

“NO!!! She h-hates me!! Why else would she m-make me stay with you!? You’re mean and grumpy and you always y-yell at me!!”

“Molly.” Kasper said, raising his voice dangerously. “I do notd always yell atd you, and you ndeed to calmb down right effingg ndow, or!-”

“You do too always yell!! You’re the worst uncle ever!!!”

“Molly!! Stop idt!!!” this time Kasper did yell, out of exasperation more than anything it seemed.

“NO!! I HATE YOU!!” The little girl screamed at the top of her lungs, her own voice strangled by her tender throat. Then, she ran up the stairs and slammed her bedroom door, waking Sammy up in the process. The toddler’s hoarse cries echoed down the stairs, as Kasper seethed in silent, shaking rage, looking as if he was on the verge of giving himself an aneurysm. Sonja looked on, frozen with shock.

Finally, she managed to unglue her tongue: “Look, um…I’ll go take care of Sammy. You should sit before you…um…pass out or something…

As if on cue, the color suddenly drained from Kasper’s face and his knees gave in; he just barely managed to catch and brace himself against the computer desk.

“Jesus!” Sonja rushed over to help brace him, but this time, he did pull away from her touch. Viciously.

“Im’b finde!” he hissed, rubbing his temples, holding his other hand out to ward off any further attempts at helping him, looking like the complete opposite of fine.

Sonja couldn't take it anymore: she felt something in her crack, and suddenly she was no longer able to hold back the tirade of judgments that she had been bottling up for all this time:

“No, Kasper, you’re not fine! You’ve run yourself completely ragged! If you had just taken care of yourself at the beginning of this freaking cold you’d be-”

“Did I asgk your opinion?!?!” Kasper yelled, eyes blazing with ice-blue fury. “Is whadt I do any of your business at all?!?! I really dodn’t thinkg so, and the last fuckging thing I ndeed righdt ndow is sombe socially-inepbt shudt-in giving mbe life lessons!!!!!”

Sonja blinked back heartbroken tears. In that moment, she hated him, hated everything about him, she wanted to smack him, she wanted to run away, but, just when she had decided to do both, Kasper’s face took on that look, that awful, beautiful look, somehow even more desperate than usual:

“huh……huhh…”

Sonja could see – he was fighting. Harder than ever. The battle swelled up in his face, so intensely arresting that time itself seemed to freeze…

“huhhh……. Hahh-G’TTCHUUuu!!!” The entire upper-half of his body collapsed forward under the might of the sneeze. It sounded horribly painful; ripping its way through the immense congestion that had built itself up in Kasper’s sinus cavities. He reeled forward unsteadily a bit, and Sonja reached forward, but he caught himself once more, and ran his sleeve across his miserably raw-red nose.

And because of that sneeze, despite the oppressive and looming sense of futility, some vile, masochistic part of Sonja rooted her to the carpet, and rallied the rest of her up for one, final push:

“Kasper,” she said quietly. “You’re sick. Please let me help you.”

Kasper looked dead into her eyes, and the amount of sheer and unyielding wrath that lay just behind those ice-blue rings was truly frightening to behold.

“I. AM NODT. SICKG!!!!!!!” Kasper roared, severing what little of his voice remained. He stood, shaking, gasping, fighting for air, and Sonja realized with a lurch of despair that her continued presence was only going to make things worse.

Tears of defeat rolled down her cheeks; it was pointless to contain them any longer:

“Alright, Kasper. You’re not sick…” she said, wiping her cheeks and heading for the door.

“…Goodbye” she whispered, turned the doorknob, and left.

---

She got into her car and drove. Anywhere and everywhere, it didn’t matter to her in the slightest. This was something she’d never done before: on her budget, gas was not a thing to be squandered away without purpose, but right now she needed to be away from that house -- it just hurt too freaking much to be anywhere near...

She drove well into the night, returning at last, only because she felt if she continued any longer, she might wind up driving herself into a tree.

Karina’s apartment was quiet, but, as Sonja ascended her own staircase and walked toward her bedroom, she could hear him -- awake and struggling against a severe coughing fit. Despite her feelings of anger and humiliation, as soon as she heard those coughs, a flood of pity enveloped her senses, and, in a way that was worse because there was no way for her to do anything for him. She was useless.

She crawled quietly into bed, listening to him moan, toss, turn, sniffle, cough, throw his blankets off, pull them back on…cough again, each new fit, more torturous than the one before. It seemed to go on forever, and just when new tears of helplessness squezzed themselves from Sonja’s eyes, the coughing and struggling eased, and there came drifting through that cheap, flimsy wall a new sound:

His voice – soft, weary, cracking:

“Okgay, Sonja……… Im’b sickg.”

An admittance of defeat, meant only for ears. It was real. It had happened.

Without thought, Sonja found herself murmuring breathlessly back through the wall:

“I’ll be right over”

<3 (quite the cliff hanger, I know...but it can't be helped. I am a sucker for anticipation. :cleverly whips out umbrella to deflect rotten tomato attacks:)

[obsessed]

Lovelovelove.

Cannot tell you how much love I have.

I'm currently incoherent, but <3.

And can I tell you how excited I am that I finally caught you just in time for an update! Yay!

OH AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

[everest]

Wow. Intense. Your writing is absolutely fantastic. I can't wait for the next part, my mind is currently reeling with all the possibilities...

[Aprilcot]

Whoo! Massive chapter!!!!And totally amazing

Please continue!!!!

[TheCakeIsAlive]

Ooooh... HAPPY BIRTHDAY! *presents cake with candles*

Did Kasper finally admit defeat? ... or did he? The anticipation, it's too much... must... throw.. rotten... tomatoes...

No, just kidding. You can put the umbrella away. ... though I can't wait for the next chapter.

[LetMeBe]

I something like LOVE THIS!

[Tess]

It's actually my birthday today too, and your update was the best birthdaypresent I could have asked for

I absolutely LOVE this story, and I hope you won't keep us waiting long

[jezebel215]

it's your birthday but I got a present? this was soooooo good. and yes, the cliff hanger is horrible :-P

[SomethingClever]

HOW am I supposed to go to class when I have to keep checking for an update every fifteen minutes?

But seriously, happy birthday and that was brilliant

[starpollen]

I hope you had a wonderful, amazing day! And I wanted to tell you after this latest chapter of your BEAUTIFUL. AMAZING. story that it is honestly one of my favorite stories of all time, and I hope you don't mind that I'm copying and pasting it into Word so I can keep it to read again and again. (I promise nothing else will ever happen to it - when I find a story I love so much I always make sure to tell the author that I'm keeping a copy and make sure they know it's just for me to read personally.) The characters are so complex and real and the situation is just perfect and Kasper is just... yeah. Wonderful. Thank you so much for writing it!

star

[Sawyer]

This is the hottest piece of dramatic sex-filled awesome EVER. Kas after the shower.. was... just brilliant. Seriously. When he was like LEANING INTO HER TOUCH I was like asdfhfjkhakjfaj <33

Seriously. You're amazing. And Happy Birthday! I wish I could bake you something ~