is your fetish a secret?

[snottysnz]

have you ever told anyone irl about your fetish? who? how did they react? i'm genuinely curious! 

[rysosneezy]

4 minutes ago, snottysnz said:

have you ever told anyone irl about your fetish? who? how did they react? i'm genuinely curious! 

Well, I can say I was on the receiving end of when my SO confessed to me about her fetish.  And for me, I was genuinely interested and curious almost immediately.  Of course, at the very moment she told me, I was a little taken aback, but after she explained to me more about it and why I totally got it.  Now it's been an absolute must in our intimate times together hehe.

Beyond her and me, no one else IRL knows.  We would love to connect with another female locally to us though, make a friend or friends that share our interest.  But that's been hard as I think those who are sneeze fetishists are far and few between.  Perhaps one day!

[AlexK]

My fetish used to be a secret when I was kid. But my brother somehow found out and eventually told our parents about it for some stupid reason! (Fortunately, They seemed pretty laid back about it.)

[Melody]

9 minutes ago, AlexK said:

My fetish used to be a secret when I was kid. But my brother somehow found out and eventually told our parents about it for some stupid reason! (Fortunately, They seemed pretty laid back about it.)

Oh my godddd that is unreal!!! 

[Céline]

31 minutes ago, snottysnz said:

have you ever told anyone irl about your fetish? who? how did they react? i'm genuinely curious! 

No but i do imduce publicly but as part of my fetish is the shame u get when being all sneezy and snotty in public

[sneezefan222]

@snottysnz my mom caught me “in the heat of the moment” while I was on the forum.  I was probably thirteen or fourteen at the time.  For some reason she didn’t even get mad.  She doesn’t know that I still come on here however. 

[kiku]

Definitely a secret. I haven't told anybody outside of the community, and don't intend to ever do it. The image of telling anybody makes me feel "mentally naked", so I need to protect myself. 🐚

[RosieB]

I have only told my ex gf and the only reason I told her was because she was immediately forthcoming about her kinks and specifically asked what I was into so I did not feel weird telling her. She did think it was a bit strange but the next time we hung out she excitedly stated " I brought q-tips" and started to induce 

[sneezefan222]

2 hours ago, RosieB said:

I have only told my ex gf and the only reason I told her was because she was immediately forthcoming about her kinks and specifically asked what I was into so I did not feel weird telling her. She did think it was a bit strange but the next time we hung out she excitedly stated " I brought q-tips" and started to induce 

How did that go over?

[Likesn]

Yes. Very much a secret. It might change some day, but that depends very much on future relationships.

[Niceguy]

Have told two exes. It was FINE, but really unnecessary, honestly. For me anyway. So for now, yes, keeping it a secret moving forward.

[solitaire-au]

@Niceguy If you don’t mind sharing, why do you feel it was unnecessary to tell your exes? (If you’d prefer not to answer, that’s absolutely your right not to.)

[NobodyKnows]

On 6/29/2023 at 5:45 PM, AlexK said:

My fetish used to be a secret when I was kid. But my brother somehow found out and eventually told our parents about it for some stupid reason! (Fortunately, They seemed pretty laid back about it.)

Ngl, if this was me I would literally die. Feel bad for you, but glad they seemed to take it well / forget about it.

 

As you might be able to tell from my name, nobody knows!

[vanessa_vee]

On 6/29/2023 at 11:45 AM, AlexK said:

My fetish used to be a secret when I was kid. But my brother somehow found out and eventually told our parents about it for some stupid reason! (Fortunately, They seemed pretty laid back about it.)

I would fall out on the floor if this ever happened 😭😭😭😭Wow id have to start a new life loll

[vanessa_vee]

5 hours ago, NobodyKnows said:

Ngl, if this was me I would literally die. Feel bad for you, but glad they seemed to take it well / forget about it.

 

As you might be able to tell from my name, nobody knows!

Lmfao clever name! Same I’d be mortified. Likewise no one aside from this forum knows😏

[Waff]

Only told my girlfriend about my fetish. She’s pretty open about that kind of stuff so she didn’t make it a big deal, but I was definitely nervous about telling her when she asked about my kinks.

[SexualOddity]

I told my husband.  I just felt like if we were gonna get married then I wanted to have all of my cards on the table.  Absolutely a personal thing though - I totally understand not wanting to tell.  He was fine about it, and we’ve done a little bit of indulging it, but I kinda have mixed feelings about that because he has bad allergies and they make him kinda miserable, and that’s hard to see.

 

There was also once a very bad drunken decision to tell some friends.  They were okay about it too, but I’m kind of glad I don’t see them much any more 😅 (And I do sometimes wonder if they told anyone else, one was pretty close with my sister in law, which makes me nervous).

 

I also have a vague feeling I might have said something to my mum when I was a teenager - but I’ve tried to avoid remembering about that either way!

[Niceguy]

On 6/30/2023 at 12:14 PM, solitaire-au said:

@Niceguy If you don’t mind sharing, why do you feel it was unnecessary to tell your exes? (If you’d prefer not to answer, that’s absolutely your right not to.)

@solitaire-au Couple reasons... First it changed very little "bedroom-wise." One tried a LITTLE to indulge me, but never really did. The other, we just never incorporated it. So there was no real BENEFIT to them knowing. And I didn't NEED it from either of them, though it would have been nice. And the downside is that from that point forward EVERYTIME we're together and someone sneezes, or we were watching a tv show/movie and there was a sneeze, I end up feeling really uncomfortable wondering if THEY are wondering if I was "turned on" by it. So in addition to there not being much benefit between US, it made it harder for ME to enjoy it in general. Made me feel very uncomfortable outside of the bedroom.

BUT... If your partner were one who was more likely to indulge you? And it was a situation that you would get a great amount of BENEFIT from? Then that's different. Might be worth the trade-off. And while I'm BIASED, I THINK... just my uneducated opinion, here... But I THINK women are in a better position in this way than men. I've always thought that if the roles were reversed, that I would TOTALLY want to indulge my partner. But I really never had any expectation of BEING indulged. Not in the long term anyway. But I would think, if anything, that most guys would OVER indulge fetish, ABUSE it even. But I could be very wrong (just  "OK Boomer" opinion) there. 🤣

[peach2218]

Yup. I’m not judging, but it’s really hard for me to understand how some forum members have told literally everyone in their lives. Friends, acquaintances, casual flings, even family members. 
 

To me, it would be like telling everyone that I’m into golden showers or something like that. But *worse* 

 

I go back and forth on telling my husband. I told one casual boyfriend years ago because he told me about his foot fetish, but other than that I haven’t told anyone else. 

[taway298]

2 hours ago, peach2218 said:

To me, it would be like telling everyone that I’m into golden showers or something like that. But *worse* 

i feel this 100%!!! this is a very … unique fetish and i know it’s relatively tame but i feel like it’s unheard of, unlike foot fetishes etc. 

[solitaire-au]

I think that just as there are some red flags that indicate you should avoid telling someone, there are also some “green flags” as it were that indicate the knowledge of one’s fetish is likely to be well-received.

If someone is non-judgemental, is kind, open-minded, loves being comforted or giving comfort, or loves giving pleasure, and it’s a long-term relationship, it’s more likely to go over well.
 

I would never advise telling a partner if it’s only been short-term because it’s harder to gauge how they will react, and if you’re only casually dating, the knowledge you have a sexual fetish might turn them off, even for something as harmless as sneezing.
 

If they have feelings of shame over sneezing or allergies, it could go either way. They might feel mortified or freeze up and avoid sneezing after hearing about the fetish OR they might be relieved their partner is so accepting and not disgusted, or maybe even pleased if they are keen to please you.

Conversely, if they are judgemental, narrow-minded, vindictive or easily made jealous, I would avoid telling them. The first two are obvious, but if someone is vindictive, they might be OK with it, but then tell someone else in a moment of anger to get back at you.  Or possibly even resort to blackmail if the relationship goes sour. And someone who is the jealous type, might feel resentful of when other people sneeze in your presence, even if it’s only a fake sneeze from TV or movies.

And I personally would never tell anyone who is not a romantic partner, because they are more likely to freak out, take it badly, or avoiding ever sneezing in your presence once they know. Imagine a friend tells you, “hey did you know that reflex thing you do and can’t control makes me aroused?” Because to you, you might say you have a fetish, but to them, it might feel a violation of their consent to even hear that.

Anyway, my own story is that I met my husband at 17 when we were in our first year of university. After several months, I told him. It went really well, but in hindsight, I probably should have waited a bit longer before I was more sure he was going to accept it.

Today my husband is even more enthusiastic about it, because seeing me driven wild when he induces sneezing is a real turn-on for him.

@snottysnzIf you are planning on telling someone, think it through and tread carefully. Don’t just blurt it out, no matter how tempting it may be.

Choose the right moment. When you are both relaxed and your relationship is in a good place is strongly advisable. When you’ve been intimate together, or one or both of you has been sneezing is a good time, because it gives a natural opening to start talking about it and to bring up the fetish.

And don’t be afraid of being nervous, because believe it or not, it can actually work in your favour! If your partner knows you’re nervous about revealing something personal to them, so long as you reassure them in advance that it’s not something bad (eg. saying “hey, I’ve been cheating on you,”)  if they are keen to put you at ease, it’s another sign they are more likely to be accepting.

[Chiguy]

1 hour ago, solitaire-au said:

I think that just as there are some red flags that indicate you should avoid telling someone, there are also some “green flags” as it were that indicate the knowledge of one’s fetish is likely to be well-received.

If someone is non-judgemental, is kind, open-minded, loves being comforted or giving comfort, or loves giving pleasure, and it’s a long-term relationship, it’s more likely to go over well.
 

I would never advise telling a partner if it’s only been short-term because it’s harder to gauge how they will react, and if you’re only casually dating, the knowledge you have a sexual fetish might turn them off, even for something as harmless as sneezing.
 

If they have feelings of shame over sneezing or allergies, it could go either way. They might feel mortified or freeze up and avoid sneezing after hearing about the fetish OR they might be relieved their partner is so accepting and not disgusted, or maybe even pleased if they are keen to please you.

Conversely, if they are judgemental, narrow-minded, vindictive or easily made jealous, I would avoid telling them. The first two are obvious, but if someone is vindictive, they might be OK with it, but then tell someone else in a moment of anger to get back at you.  Or possibly even resort to blackmail if the relationship goes sour. And someone who is the jealous type, might feel resentful of when other people sneeze in your presence, even if it’s only a fake sneeze from TV or movies.

And I personally would never tell anyone who is not a romantic partner, because they are more likely to freak out, take it badly, or avoiding ever sneezing in your presence once they know. Imagine a friend tells you, “hey did you know that reflex thing you do and can’t control makes me aroused?” Because to you, you might say you have a fetish, but to them, it might feel a violation of their consent to even hear that.

Anyway, my own story is that I met my husband at 17 when we were in our first year of university. After several months, I told him. It went really well, but in hindsight, I probably should have waited a bit longer before I was more sure he was going to accept it.

Today my husband is even more enthusiastic about it, because seeing me driven wild when he induces sneezing is a real turn-on for him.

@snottysnzIf you are planning on telling someone, think it through and tread carefully. Don’t just blurt it out, no matter how tempting it may be.

Choose the right moment. When you are both relaxed and your relationship is in a good place is strongly advisable. When you’ve been intimate together, or one or both of you has been sneezing is a good time, because it gives a natural opening to start talking about it and to bring up the fetish.

And don’t be afraid of being nervous, because believe it or not, it can actually work in your favour! If your partner knows you’re nervous about revealing something personal to them, so long as you reassure them in advance that it’s not something bad (eg. saying “hey, I’ve been cheating on you,”)  if they are keen to put you at ease, it’s another sign they are more likely to be accepting.

The other thing here that our younger members forget .... somewhat sadly these days, love is all too often not forever. Half of marriages fail.

Do you want a jilted lover telling other people about how "weird" you are?

Maybe best to make very, very sure before revealing.

Edited July 3, 2023 by Chiguy

[haymaker]

23 hours ago, Chiguy said:

The other thing here that our younger members forget .... somewhat sadly these days, love is all too often not forever. Half of marriages fail.

Do you want a jilted lover telling other people about how "weird" you are?

Maybe best to make very, very sure before revealing.

For me there are multiple reasons to keep quiet, not least the one detailed by Chiguy above. But as always it's each to their own.

[snzmn2016]

On 6/29/2023 at 1:04 PM, Céline said:

No but i do imduce publicly but as part of my fetish is the shame u get when being all sneezy and snotty in public

What an exciting idea

[snzmn2016]

On 6/30/2023 at 7:25 PM, vanessa_vee said:

I would fall out on the floor if this ever happened 😭😭😭😭Wow id have to start a new life loll

Agreed