Hell of a Cold - (30 Parts)

[ilovesneezing]

aaawww I miss Oz and Wil. Adorable!

[swann_ee_song]

M'aww that was so cute! And so Oz. Well written chapter!

I'm not making the grammatical sense. But I don't have to... it's 2am.

[angora48]

I'm so glad people like it! Here's Part 8.

“Hey, Xander!”

Xander stopped outside the cafeteria and turned, looking for the girl who’d called to him. “Huh?” he said.

Across the hall, Cordelia beckoned to him covertly. Xander struggled against the rush of students heading to lunch and fought his way back to her. “What’s up?” he asked.

“Not here!” Cordelia insisted, rolling her eyes. “Idiot.” She grabbed his sleeve and dragged him into the janitor’s closet.

“Are we gudda bake out?” Xander asked. “‘Cause, buch as it paids be to say it, I dod’t thih… Heh… ih-CHUHHH! …It’s probably dot a good idea.”

“We’re not gonna make out,” Cordelia told him.

Xander cleared his throat and looked at Cordelia, who wasn’t looking at him. She seemed uneasy. “I got your dote,” he said, “id by dotebook.”

“Are you going to the library again today?” Cordelia asked suddenly.

“Uh, I duddo,” Xander told her. “I was gudda talk to Buff over lunch –” he sniffed. “See what the plad is.”

“Don’t go,” Cordelia urged. “Blow it off. Let me give you a ride home after school.”

“Why?” Xander asked.

“Because you’re sick, you idiot,” Cordelia informed him, “and I want you to get some rest, not give yourself a headache reading Giles’s dusty old books.”

“Well, I already have a headache, so…”

“Just don’t,” Cordelia repeated. “Go home and take it easy. Please? It’s driving me crazy to watch you sniffling all day.”

Xander didn’t know what to make of this. “Uh… yeah,” he said. “Sure.”

“If you tell anyone about this, I’ll punch you,” Cordelia warned.

Xander nodded, sniffling. “Noted.”

“You go out first,” Cordelia instructed. “I’ll come out afterward.” Stifling a cough, Xander left.

He wasn’t quite sure what to make of Cordelia’s recent foray into sympathy. On the one hand, she actually seemed to care about how he felt, so that was nice. On the other, she appeared to have the bedside manner of… Xander didn’t know what. At the moment, she was radiating all the warmth and comfort of a bed of nails.

“Xander!” Buffy called, sidling up beside him. “I have a bone to pick with you.”

“Pick away,” Xander told her. “Does this bode happen to be Willow-related?”

“It does,” Buffy said as they entered the cafeteria and joined the lunch line.

Xander nodded. “I figured as buch.” He turned away to cough into his fist before grabbing a tuna salad sandwich and some jello. “Hey, I already told Willow I was sorry,” he went on, “add it’s dot like I was trying to bake her sick.”

“Yeah, I know,” Buffy admitted. “The bone-picking is really just a formality – best friend duties.”

“I udderstand,” Xander said with mock gravity.

“So, hey!” Buffy said as she paid for her lunch. “I talked to Giles. The research party continues tonight. Can we count on you?”

“I…” Xander’s breath hitched, and he lifted a hand to his face. “Ih… eh… SHIUHHH!” Buffy reached out to steady his tray as his head rocked forward. “Thadks.”

“No problem,” Buffy said, giving him a sympathetic smile. “If you wanna bow out, that’s cool.”

“…I’ll be there,” Xander told her.

Buffy grinned. “Great!” she said, and she headed off toward their table. Xander hung back, contemplative. Cordelia was going to kill him.

[Mercury]

I'm loving this so much! Not only is the sneezing great (and by 'great' I mean ' ' ) but the characters' reactions are so perfect too.

Since you've already got this mapped out I won't make requests, but I do have my fingers and toes crossed for some Angel action

[Alexandria]

U r so awesome. U write an awesome story and u quickly update it. Thanks for not leaving us hanging. U totally rock

[Miss.A.Tishoo]

I can't get enough of this - and hooray for Buffy getting closer to the germs *smothers her in them*!

[ilovesneezing]

You have the Buff-lingo down perfectly. I adore this!

[angora48]

Everybody's comments make me smile! Here's Part 9. It's really short, so I'll post Part 10 right after it.

Xander looked up from his book. “Eh…” Giles deftly reached forward, took a tissue from the box on the table, and handed it to him in the nick of time. “Eh-SHOOOO!”

“Bless you,” Willow said glumly. “Cad you pass the tissues?” Xander pushed the box in her direction. She plucked out a tissue and blew her runny nose.

“You two sound quite unwell,” Giles commented. “Would either of you care for some tea? I could…”

“That’s okay,” Willow said, closing her book. “I… ih-chiooo!” She sniffled, covering her nose and mouth with one cupped hand. “…I thidk I just deed to go hobe.”

“Yes, that sounds like a wise idea,” Giles said. “Take care, and do feel better.”

“Okay,” Willow said, standing up. “I’be really sorry, Buffy.”

“Don’t be silly,” Buffy told her. “Go home. Nap. Consume soup. All that jazz.”

“I’ll give you a ride, Willow,” Cordelia said, leaping to her feet. “Does anyone else need a ride home?” When there was no reply, she kicked Xander’s chair. “I said –”

“I do,” Xander said quickly, scrambling out of his chair.

“Wow – talk about abandon ship,” Buffy mused.

Xander wavered. “I hate to leave you here all by yourself…”

“No, it’s fine,” Buffy assured him. “If you’re sick, you’re sick. I can just call Angel and see if he wants to come.”

“What ab I saying? I dod’t feel so bad,” Xander said, turning back toward the table.

Cordelia grabbed his arm. “Daylight, Buffy,” she said. “Angel’s not going anywhere.”

“Oh, right,” Buffy said.

“Od second though, I should really be id bed,” Xander said.

“If you say so,” Cordelia replied. “It’s not like it matters to me.”

And just like that, Buffy and Giles were alone. “You know,” Buffy said, “I probably shouldn’t work too hard. I mean, I don’t want to get sick, too.”

Giles smiled to himself. “Go on,” he said. “I’ll do some looking on my own.”

“You’re the best,” Buffy said, beaming. She seized her backpack and made a beeline for the door. “See you tomorrow!”

[angora48]

And here's Part 10. Never say I don't spoil you. ;-)

In the midst of the early morning mingling, Willow saw Xander slouching in a chair in the commons. She plopped down beside him. “How’d you sleep?” she asked.

“Crappy,” he replied. “You?”

Willow nodded. “The sabe… heh-chi-uhhh!” She wrinkled her nose and sniffled.

Looking up, Xander tapped Willow’s arm. “Wil.”

Following his gaze, Willow sat up quickly, smoothing her skirt and straightening her hair. “Hey,” she said, trying to sound upbeat.

“Hey,” Oz replied, sitting down on the arm of the chair. “How’re you doing?”

“Kidea sdniffly,” Willow admitted.

“That’s too bad,” Oz said. He looked like he wasn’t quite awake yet.

“Heh-ih-SHUHHH!”

“Hey, Xadder,” Oz said, letting his eyes flicker from Willow momentarily.

Xander rubbed his nose, sniffling wetly. “Hey.”

“Hey, gang,” Buffy said as she came up behind them. “How are the noses?”

“Drippy,” Willow said.

“Itchy,” Xander added. He rubbed his nose a little more. “Eh… ih… oh crap, it’s stuck.” He closed his eyes, taking in a gasping breath, but he couldn’t make himself sneeze. “Awesobe,” he said sardonically when he finally untensed. “I dod’t have to sdeeze addybore, but by bose is beyond plugged up.”

“Thems are the breaks,” Buffy commented, grabbing an empty chair.

“How’d it go last dight – oh…” Willow said, trailing off as she remembered Oz was with them.

“It didn’t,” Buffy told her. “I went home a little after you guys left.”

“Sorry,” Willow said, wincing.

“Wil, you’re the only person I know who apologizes for being sick,” Buffy replied.

“I doh – sorry,” Willow said. Buffy chuckled.

Oz stood up, stretching. “I should go,” he said. “I’ve gotta make a stop at by locker before class.”

“See you,” Willow said with a tired smile.

“So doh breakthroughs?” Xander asked Buffy when Oz was out of earshot.

“Not on my end,” Buffy told him. “I was splitsville. Giles might have found something.” She jumped up. “I’ll go ask him –” the first bell rang. “ – Later,” she finished with a groan.

Xander looked at Willow. “Back to it?” he asked.

“Back to it,” Willow replied.

“Keep your eyes opedd id class,” he warned.

“You, too,” Willow said. They got up and went their separate ways.

[ilovesneezing]

Oh this is beyond awesome! You sure do spoil us!

please, PLEASE make Buffy sick too!?

[Miss.A.Tishoo]

Yay for being spoilt . Thank you, thank you, thank you for updating! Love your writing!

[count tiszula]

Excellent story! Nice to see poor old Willow having a big sneeze; she so seldom manages to get a starring role in a sneezefic, and she is certainly my favourite [except for Darnie of course].

And the lovely apologeticnesse.....

[Alexandria]

You totally spoil us. Thanks fro writing an awesome story and updating so quickly. Tank you.

[angora48]

Hello! Here's Part 11.

After what seemed like the slowest morning of all time, that magic period known as “lunch” finally arrived. Buffy got there ahead of her friends and had already started inhaling her hamburger before Xander and Willow trudged over. They were like a matched set of cold-addled misery – pale complexions, droopy eyes, slouched posture, and red noses. If they weren’t her friends, she might laugh at the image.

“What’s up, guys?” she asked. “Just a rough morning in class, or was there some unexpected demon-fighting? You two look beat[.”

“Deebods wouldn’t have been so bad,” Xander professed. “Ah-shuhh!”

“It kidda sucks,” Willow agreed. “It’s so hard to pay attention.”

“What? Willow spacing out during class?” Buffy teased. “Lady Studies-A-Lot from the realm of Academia? It’s worse than I thought!”

“What is?” Oz asked, approaching the table.

“Willow’s turning into a slacker,” Buffy told him as he sat down.

“Is there another Willow at this school?” he asked.

“Hey, you guys cad laugh, but it’d dot fuddy,” Xander said. “It’s like, you’re sitting id class, and all you cad think about it how uncobfortable you are. Every thought going through your head is, ‘By head hurts, by throat hurts, I wadda go hobe…’”

“‘…I’be so tired, I’be so stuffed up…’” Willow added. “It’s pretty pathetic.”

“Yeah, and during chebistry?” Xander said. “Bister Barteau was lecturing, and by dose starts rudding.” He sniffed hard. “Dot udlike dow.” He picked up his napkin ad gently wiped his chapped nose, sniffling a few times. “He’s got a box of Kleedexes od his desk, so doh big deal, right? Wrong!”

“This is riveting,” Buffy commented to Oz. “Aren’t you riveted?”

“Bore spellbound, really,” Oz told her.

“Addyway,” Xander said, “you doh, Barteau has that rule about how you cad’t get up frob your seat ud –” A brief coughing spell cut him off. “Sorry – udless you raise your hadd.”

“Add he oddly calls od people whed he’s fiddished explaiding the dew baterial,” Willow added.

“The conflict’s building,” Buffy told Oz. “I can’t wait to see how this plays out for our hero.”

Xander made a face at her, but it was marred by a need to sneeze. “Ih… uh-shuhhh!”

“Gesundheit,” Buffy said.

“Cobe on, man,” Oz said. “Don’t leave us hanging.”

“Right,” Xander went on, “so I’ve got by hand up, add tibe is of the essence, you doh? Odly Barteau won’t call od be. Add I bead, what ab I supposed to do? I dod’t wadda sit there with by does rudding dowd by chid.”

“And suddenly, a tale of woe becomes a tale of yuck,” Buffy said.

Oz nodded, clearing his throat a little. “Things have taken a dark turn.”

“Are you guys gudda let be fiddish by story or what?” Xander asked.

“That depends,” Buffy told him. “Is it super mucous-y? Because I’m gonna have a problem with that.”

“Dod’t be a baby,” Xander replied. “So dow, by dose is, like, at the breaking point, so I’be sniffling to keep things udder wraps, right? Add Barteau, he looks at be and just says, 'Bister Harris, kidely don’t idterrupt by class.'”

“Real strict and sdooty,” Willow said. “Heh-chih-uhhh!”

“Yeah,” Xander said. “Add thed, I realize that by desk is odly about five feet from Barteau’s, and the Kleedexes are just sitting there, so I start…” He leaned forward, straining to reach his arm across the table. “Of course, I diddn’t thidk about how such ad action throws off by desk’s center of gravity, so…”

Buffy gaped at him. “You didn’t,” she breathed.

“Headfirst onto the floor,” Willow said. She turned away from the table, coughing. Oz rubbed her back lightly.

“By books go flying everywhere,” Xander said.

“He just lay there, trying to get out of his desk, but his legs were all taggled up,” Willow added.

Buffy covered her mouth, laughing. “So then what?” she gasped.

“I fidally – you doh – detach byself and get by desk turned right-side-up,” Xander said, “add I take sobe of his Kleedexes, too. I bead, I’be so dead at this point addyway, right? I sit back dowd, and Barteau just says, ‘If you’re quite fiddished, we’ll codtidue.'” He, Willow, and Buffy all laughed until their sides hurt. Even Oz cracked a smile.

“I think that might be the greatest story I’ve ever heard,” Buffy finally said when she managed to stop laughing.

“Add the boral of the story?” Xander said, sniffling. “Dod’t go to school with a cold, because it’ll be a giant bountaid of sucking.”

“Isn’t it worth it, though, for a story like that?” Buffy asked.

“Dot if it’s happeding to you,” Xander told her.

Willow brought her napkin to her nose. “Chi-ooo! Ugh…”

“Bless you,” Oz said.

She smiled at him. “Thadks. I have pre-calc dext period. I’be hodestly worried about falling asleep.”

“Okay, now I know you’ve been body-snatched,” Buffy said.

“She speaks the truth,” Oz said. “That class is top-drawer boredob on the best of days.”

“It’s Ms. Colter’s voice,” Willow commented. “It’s so quiet add bodotode.”

“Well, best of luck,” Buffy said. “Trying pinching yourself. I do that sometimes in history.”

Willow sighed. “Great.” They began to get up from the table and wandered toward the kitchen window to drop off their trays.

“Don’t you like habburgers?” Willow asked Oz. “You didn’t eat very buch.”

“Dot that hungry,” Oz told her, shrugging.

The bell rang, lunch was over. “Tibe for pre-calc,” Willow said, wincing.

“Good luck, Wil,” Buffy said sympathetically. “I’m rooting for you.”

“Thadks,” Willow replied. She and Oz headed upstairs to Ms. Colter’s room.

[MusicaDiabolos]

Oooh, is Oz getting it now? My sweet little werewolf...I agree, you spoil us with such quick updates!!

Still waiting for Spike to get there

[Miss.A.Tishoo]

Awwww, I noticed Oz sounded a bit off in the last part too. You write the characters so well - you can really hear their voices. Can't wait for more .

[ilovesneezing]

Ooooo it's spreading! I'm in love with this!

[angora48]

I'm glad you picked up on my Oz hints! He's one of my favorite Buffy characters, and he's great fun to torture! It's been subtle so far, but let's see what happens in Part 12. It's kind of a long one, but I quite like it. (Wonder why? )

Everything about pre-calc seemed deliberately planned to induce sleep. There was Ms. Colter’s soft, flat voice that continually rattled off strings of numbers and letters in an almost hypnotic way. There was the way she dimmed the lights to use the overhead projector and the way the sunlight coming in through the windows made Ms. Colter’s room get progressively warmer over the course of the afternoon. It was practically a conspiracy.

For Willow, who liked math, the class itself was normally interesting, despite the drowsy environment. Today, however, she struggled to keep her mind on the equations. The fact that she was the only junior in a class full of older students made her even more anxious to stay awake – she didn’t want to be thought of as the kid who was in over her head.

Willow tensed; her nose was feeling tickly. She reached into her pocket and produced several tissues, neatly folded into a square. Quickly and quietly, she unfolded them in her lap, grabbed one, and covered her nose. “Esh-i-ooo!” It wasn’t a very loud sneeze, but a few students near Willow glanced in her direction. Not Oz, though – he was three rows over and two seats up. He probably hadn’t noticed. He looked bored. And cute. Willow had been noticing his cuteness a lot lately.

Carefully, Willow wiped her sore nose. She refolded the rest of her tissues, putting them back into her pocket, while she shoved the used one into her backpack. She turned her eyes back toward the front of the room.

There was one advantage that pre-calc had today over Willow’s other classes. Most of Willow’s teachers were very familiar with her and, quite frankly, adored her. Normally not a bad thing, but on a day like today, it got her some undesired attention. “Oh, bless you, Willow.” “Are you feeling all right, Willow?” “Willow, do you need to see the nurse?” While she knew they were just being thoughtful, it was still like shining a big spotlight on her, drippy nose and all, and that wasn’t the kind of thing Willow liked having pointed out to everyone.

Ms. Colter, on the other hand, didn’t know Willow very well and thus, didn’t stop in the middle of her lectures to ask after Willow’s health. Willow could be sick in relative anonymity.

Provided she didn’t do anything to disrupt the class, of course. Willow felt another tickle, in the back of her throat this time. Pressing her face into the crook of her arm, she coughed hard, twice. She didn’t move for another moment; she was a bit paranoid after what had happened in Mrs. Lennix’s class yesterday.

Willow was spending so much time managing her dumb cold that she had virtually no idea what Ms. Colter was talking about. Once she felt her nose and throat were under relative control, she forced her attention back to the lecture. Back to Ms. Colter’s soft, slow voice. Back to numbers, numbers, numbers that made her eyelids feel heavy. She tried her best to will them into staying open, but the more closely she listened, the drowsier she felt. She finally decided to call the day’s lecture a wash and tune it out. She wouldn’t learn anything, but at least she could stay –

Ms. Colt stopped speaking abruptly. Willow snapped to attention, worrying for a moment that she’d actually nodded off and had been caught. When her eyes refocused, she found Ms. Colter looking up from her book – not at Willow, thank goodness. Still, this was an anomaly. Ms. Colter didn’t just stop lecturing for no reason.

“Daniel!” Ms. Colter said sharply. Willow turned toward Oz, who’d had his head on his desk, looking decidedly not awake. At the sound of his first name, he jerked a little and his eyes flew open. A number of other students tittered.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, running his fingers across his mouth. He eyes blinked heavily.

“That was very rude,” Ms. Colter told him. “Don’t let it happen again.”

“I doh – I’m sorry,” Oz repeated. He cleared his throat and sat up straight, raking hand through his hair.

“All right,” Ms. Colter replied. She looked down at her book, took a breath, and went on with her lecture.

Willow was surprised. She knew that Oz wasn’t real big on homework, and he was definitely laidback, but falling asleep in class didn’t seem like his style.

Something was off here. Willow looked over at Oz. She didn’t know what exactly, but something about his body language definitely seemed to convey “tired” rather than “bored”. Well, that made sense. He’d certainly seemed tired earlier, when she’d seen him in the morning. She hadn’t thought much of it – just that post-hibernation look teenagers sometimes have – but it seemed Oz hadn’t woken up more over the course of the day. She wondered if something had kept him up last night.

Then, Willow remembered how Oz hadn’t eaten much of his lunch. Not hungry, he’d told her. Less typical for a teenager, especially a boy. Something had to be up.

Now, Oz was sitting up straight, shaking his pencil between his middle and index fingers. He did look awfully tied, and he also looked pretty determined not to nod off again, which told Willow that it wasn’t something he did often. He made small, regular movements – shifting in his chair, fiddling with his hair, tapping his foot – like he was trying to make sure he stayed alert. He ran one hand quickly under his nose.

This was a gesture Willow had grown very familiar with the last couple of days. She couldn’t tell if he’d sniffled – he was sitting too far away for her to hear – but it definitely looked like what she and Xander had been doing to manage their runny noses. Willow felt a sudden sinking feeling in her stomach.

She tried to tell herself she was jumping to conclusions. One lone gesture didn’t equal a cold. Of course, put it together with the tired demeanor and apparent lack of appetite… But still, it could be just a coincidence. Willow decided to reserve judgment until after further investigation.

Once she took care of a more pressing matter, that is. “Eh… ah… eh-chiooo! Eh-shhhhh!” Wrapped up in thoughts of Oz, she’d let the sneezes sneak up on her. There hadn’t been time to retrieve her Kleenexes, and she’d used the crook of her arm in a pinch. It was just as well; it didn’t get her hands messy, and it was the most effective noise muffler. She hastily wiped her nose on one of her diminishing supply of tissues.

Back to Oz. He definitely seemed pale, but Willow had to admit that wasn’t always indicative of sickness, especially in a redhead. What else? She recalled a few times today when he’d cleared his throat. Closer, but not conclusive like coughs or sneezes. He gave his nose another rub – one finger this time. Willow bit her lip.

“Does anyone have the answer?” Ms. Colter asked suddenly; she’d moved on to the practice problems. “Daniel?”

Oz shifted in his seat and looked down at his notebook. He rubbed his nose once more. “Degative fourteed over ‘x’?” he said.

“Almost,” Ms. Colter said. “Can anyone help him?”

Willow looked up at the problem. It was actually negative fourteen over ‘x’ squared, but that wasn’t important. There was clear congestion in Oz’s voice. He leaned back in his chair now, arms folded across his chest. He wriggled his nose, just a little, and rubbed it again with his finger.

Willow felt so unbelievably bad. Oz was sick, and not only had she taken until 1:00 to notice, it was probably her fault. She’d gotten him sick. It was a good thing they weren’t officially “dating”, because she’d be a serious contender for the worst girlfriend of all time. She slouched in her seat and rested her chin on her hands with a glum sigh.

* * *

When the bell rang, Oz slung his books under his arm and headed out into the hall. “Hey!” Willow called, hurrying after him.

Oz slowed, turning around. “Yeah? What’s up?”

“You’re sick!” she exclaimed.

“Yeah,” he replied, dispassionate. He sniffled once. “What about it?”

“Well, it’s by fault!” Willow stammered. “I… I was sick, add you were so dice to be, and I pay you back by getting you sick! I –”

“Hey – take it easy,” Oz told her. “First off, you’re dot the only person I doh who’s sick right dow. I mean, don’t get be wrong – you’re definitely a suspect. You cad expect ad inquiry in the mail…”

“I’be so sorry!” Willow gushed. I didn’t bead to, honest! I just –”

“Yeah, I didn’t think you did,” Oz assured her. “Also, you deed to relax. It’s just a cold – I think I’ll be okay.” He raised a fist to his mouth and cleared his throat.

“I just – I feel really bad about this,” Willow said. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“That you bight be the reason I’be sick?” Oz asked.

“That you’re sick at all!” Willow exclaimed. “You didn’t say addything!”

Oz shrugged. “‘Cause it’s dot a big deal,” he said.

“What do you bead it’s dot a big deal?” Willow demanded. “Of course it is!”

“Okay, are we talking about the same thing?” Oz asked. “‘Cause I think you bight be codfusing ‘cold’ with ‘ebola.’”

“Doh!” Willow insisted. “Ih… It’s just tha… heh-chooo! Heh-shi-uhhh!” She turned away, covering her mouth with her hand.

“Hey,” Oz said, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “It’s fide. Dod’t worry about it.”

Willow sighed. She felt so tired. “I’be being kide of crazy, ared’t I?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Oz admitted, “but id a cute way.”

“I’be sorry you’re sick,” she said quietly.

“You, too,” he replied. “I have to get to class. Are we cool?”

“Yeah,” Willow said quickly. “Yeah, everything’s fide. I’be sorry.”

Oz’s mouth turned up into what was almost a smile. “Stop apologizing,” he instructed. “See you later.”

[The Sneezster]

I love this! The onset of a cold is such a beautiful thing, don't you think?

[Miss.A.Tishoo]

That Oz, he's just cool as a cucumber lol. Another fantastic update, thank you!

[LOSTfreak]

Eee! I love Oz! I'm a big Seth Green fan, so this is exciting for me. I love your fic so far and like others, I love the quick updates!

[MusicaDiabolos]

Love Oz, LOVE him. Everything he says/does is hilarious. And he's little, just like Willow! And me Another beautiful sexy chapter, we are the most spoiled fans alive...

[ilovesneezing]

aw I looooove Oz. I love him and Willow too, you write them very well

[Bongo]

I'm loving this story so much! Oz is my favorite character and I'm glad you've decided to torture him for us

[tFM!]

Yay! Still loving this Thanks for updating so frequently too.