Misreading things

[KazeNoUirusu]

A coworker of my dad got a sticker for me from Smith College in MA. It says "WOMEN WHO ARE GOING PLACES START AT SMITH." Well, right now, it's sitting on the top of a bookcase/cupboard in my living room, just behind a little railing. So there are all these wooden bars in the way of the words.

A while back, my uncle was sitting in a chair directly across from that bookcase and tried to read the first few words of the sticker - "WOMEN WHO ARE" - through the bars. Here's how it looked with a few letters blocked:

"WOMEN WHO ARE"

So he read:

"OMEN WHORE" XD

And that was pretty great.

[Snufaleeze]

Well, this is actual a mishear...but in the Bon Jovi song Livin' On A Prayer, there's the line, "It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not." For YEARS, I thought the line was "It doesn't make a difference if we're naked or not."

Somewhat different meaning there...

This reminded me that I used to think that a line in "Welcome to the Jungle" by Gun's n' Roses was "Nanananananaan Knees, Sneeze!" Then I went back and listen with the lyrics and to my disappointment they just said knees twice!

[Chanel_no5]

I'm currently trying to finish up old in-progress fics I have laying around, and found the beginning of a Maleficent-fic. In which I had written "the horned fairy..."

...but I read it as "the horny fairy".

[Wildwood]

I'm currently trying to finish up old in-progress fics I have laying around, and found the beginning of a Maleficent-fic. In which I had written "the horned fairy..."

...but I read it as "the horny fairy".

I think the decibel at which I'm laughing right now is dangerous.

[The Dude]

My god it never ends!! I was rolling through a McD's drive thru, and on the way there was this donation box for the Ronald McDonald House children's charity that had a caption on it: "Give. Heal." Of course I saw this out of the corner of my eye as the vehicle was in motion, and thought it said "Give head."

It had a picture on it of a little girl kissing a baby, which made it even more fucked up.

[gryffin]

My most spectacular one was when I misread "divieto di sosta" (no parking) as "diventa induista" (become Hindu). The friend I was with is still laughing, I think.

[PuddinPop]

Scrolling down the index and thinking "Sneeze Fetish Forum Statuses" says "Sneeze Fetish Forum Sinuses".

[Indescribable]

When you ask a family member why they have a bracelet that says 'peacemaker' when it actually says 'pacemaker'

Thank goodness it was an understanding family member with a sense of humor!

[Emily]

Read "cockatiel" as "cocktail" yesterday on one of my friend's Facebook statuses. Ironic because she literally said a couple of days ago that she's so much of a bird lady that she does the exact opposite!

[IcyFlame]

Sometimes I miss read "squeeze" as "sneeze" and my heart skips a beat then I take a second look and realize I miss read it and get really disappointed.

Story of my life girl. Story of my life. One time I misread 'life alert' as 'life pervert'. My brain at that moment was like NOPE and I was über tired so I just shrugged it off.