Misreading things

[guynextdoor]

I misheard a song a while ago, with the lines:

"Love, my aim is straight and true

Cupid’s arrow is just for you"

I understood: "Love my anus straight and true"xD

[musictomyeyes]

i was reading aloud in biology class in high school and the word was "organism" and i said "orgasm".... even the old lady teacher laughed

[The Dude]

We have these 'Transit TV' screens on buses here, and they were showing an interview with Pierrick Prevert, one of the advisors for the French Socialist party. At first glance his name appeared to be "Patrick Pervert."

To make matters worse, there was a twitter address below spelled @TransitTVLA, which my brain interpreted as Transvestite L.A.

[Vendetta]

This is one of the most awesome things ive seen...me and my bf were driving around one day, i forget where it was...and you know how street signs criss cross? well there was one sign that said 'western ave.' and and another that said howard st. sooo....guess where this is going? lol thats right, when you looked at those two signs the right way it looked exactly like it said Howard stern street....LMAO it was so great

[TheCakeIsAlive]

A picture from ESA with caption "Waning moon." In lovely small type.

Managed to misread it as "warning moon", which was immediately followed by thoughts wondering what exactly that specific stance of the moon supposedly warned us for and why the heck ESA would feel the need to engage in astrology.

[Chanel_no5]

HAHAHA, I actually read "warning moon" in your post!!!

[Vendetta]

im not even lying...thats what it first looked like to me too...LOL

[Heavy-Chevy]

I was driving down a busy road a few days ago and saw a sign out of the corner of my eye that said "Watch out for left-overs" but then I read it again and realized it really said "Watch out for left turns."

[March Hare]

On a bag of chocolates in the supermarket it said "snax". Three guesses what I read out of the corner of my naughty eye.

[smooshi]

God!!!!!

My stomach will have to recover for a while after "cockporn" and "twincest"....

I think I have pissed myself from laughter....

There is one mis- reading which is quite common with Croatian students. There is one poem written in dialect which has one line which says: "Jerbo se moj did od ditinstva". In freestyle translation that would be: "Because my grandpa from his childhood..."

But EVERYONE reads it like: "Jebo se moj did od ditinstva", which means "My grandpa fucked from his childhood"

[EmeraldThread]

I just started reading a book and I thought the fourth sentence said, "Libraries guarantee the privacy of their potatoes."

It really said, "Libraries guarantee the privacy of their patrons."

I should definitely go to bed, reading things wrong this early in the text.

[Chanel_no5]

I watched Star Trek yesterday, (with subtitles), and I misread Pon Farr as porn fan.

[Sitruuna]

...so I scan through a couple of pages and thought that maybe it doesn't matter that is has been... over a month since the latest post... I can still post, right?

Sooo... I only remember one misread thing now that might be worth sharing (but I do have some misheard stuff instead), sorry about that... But yeah, a couple of years ago one shop around here sold this energy drink that was simply named "Exotic". I guess I don't even need to mention how most of the people who were there with me back when we found the cans read that name...

Aaaand, some misheard things (that made me check if we had a thread for them)... I was half listening as this one girl read this little text about C.S. Lewis out loud. The whole thing started with his name... though that wasn't what I heard the girl say. I was sure she had said something that would be translated as autumn cold. And then later on when I was on the bus with R.L I showed her the thing and told what had happened, she managed to hear me say season flu.

[Always-a-Ginger]

I was traveling through Pennsylvania with my mother and we both misread a road sign. It was for "Scotrun." We both thought it said scrotum and couldn't beleive anyone would name town that.

[Chanel_no5]

Hah, someone in my fandom circle had written "I woke up with a Mirandy head on" - and I misread it as "I woke up with a Mirandy hard-on".

And given the nature of most of those fics, I didn't even find it odd.

[March Hare]

I just read "I gratified some bathroom wall with it" and thought hey, that's actually a witty way of putting it. Then I read it again and saw that it actually said "I graffitied a bathroom wall with it". Aww.

[smooshi]

I was skimming trough the topics in "Observations" subforum and I somehow managed to misread "hairdresser" as "crossdresser" .

I don't know should I blame Rocky Horror for this or not....

[The Dude]

I was just skimming the Fun & Games forum, and there's a thread called 'Which inanimate object looks the most tasty'. For a split second it registered as 'Which inmate looks the most tasty'.

Also, I was in a gas station the other day, and there was a sign that said "Sorry go to the next cashier." It was partially obscured, so I thought it said "Sorry no sex!" My first response was, "Damn!"

[Chanel_no5]

Right, yesterday as I checked the forum, my eyes mixed two thread titles, which led me to read "Meryl Streep has the flu" as "Meryl Streep has the fetish".

Now that would be quite interesting...

[Emily]

I'm half blind and I walk around without my eyes glasses all the time so I misread lots of things. I'm actually rather notorious for both mishearing and misreading things so looks like I'm pretty blessed. Just yesterday I was scrolling down my newsfeed on the book of face and read "craving some nutella" as "carving some crayons"

[Emily]

Funny how these things happen. ^^; Today I was just copying down notes furiously during a calculus class and I glanced back at a bunch of chicken scratch and this one function I wrote down looked like "aCHoo." Go figure.

[EmeraldThread]

Lately I've been misreading a lot of words as being food-related. I've typed "flooding" a few times over the past week and whenever I go back over to read what I wrote, I think it says "fooding." It's happened with other words, too, but it always starts when I get hungry around 2 in the morning.

[Emily]

I get hungry around 2 in the morning.

holy god 2am? do you even sleep

[EmeraldThread]

I get hungry around 2 in the morning.

holy god 2am? do you even sleep

Not nearly as much as I need to, and all at the wrong hours of the day. xD

[Bluebird]

I was involved in a role-play with my friend from another forum, and he has a character named Colt. I kept misreading (and accidentally typing) it as "Cold" instead

I also managed to misread "syzygy" as "sneeze" the other day too...it was written really big on a sheet of art I was doing and I forced myself to erase it to avoid future mishaps. xD