Sexuality

[•.*°•☆. Q .☆•°*.•]

I've heard differently, actually. "Bi" does mean "two" and "bisexual" does mean "attracted to two" but it doesn't say which two. A person could be attracted to gender neutral individuals and men only, and still be bisexual.

As for myself, I'm a grey multisexual.

[SomeoneRandom]

Bi means two, there's just no getting around that.

Yes, just like "lesbian" means someone from the island of Lesbos.

"I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted - romantically and/or sexually - to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree." --Robyn Ochs, bi activist

How about try some great stuff from Shiri Eisner, genderqueer bisexual activist/author:

• http://radicalbi.wor...but-ftm-is-not/
  
• http://radicalbi.wor...-not-pansexual/
  

Wouldn't that be pansexual? (Just trying to clarify the differences between the two.)

There are differences and similarities. It gets confusing. This one's for you, Swordrush:

• http://radicalbi.wor...d-pansexuality/
  

It's totally okay to ask, "hey, what do you mean?" But please, please, please, do not police my identity. It hurts my soul.

[i do not have a binary view of gender. Since moving in/becoming close friends with two genderqueer people, I've been educating myself and educating everyone I know to try to maximize awareness/acceptance. I talk about gender issues with one of them at least once a week, because ze's really into activism. I am the pronoun corrector. I observed Trans* Remembrance Day a couple weeks ago. (Emphasis on that star -- including non-binary folks, not just transmen or transwomen.) Making schools safer for students with non-normative gender identities is my proposed area of graduate school research. My friends have never, ever been bothered by my identity label. (And no, I'm not saying this stuff because I think I deserve a medal or something for not being cissexist/trans*phobic/binarist. I just really resent the implication that I am those things, and I try to be actively anti-cissexism/trans*phobia/binarism, and I'll call that shit out if someone who's binary trans acts that way... I don't know how to say all of this without coming off like a tool. I just have a lot of feelings about gender these days.) If you -- Ouroboros or anyone who's made it this far -- have any non-binary gender identity, I'd love to talk to you about my proposed research. I actually previously noted that you're one of the few people with an "undisclosed" gender, and I was curious about it. (And I was also curious if the forum could allow write-ins for the gender box and gender preference box so people aren't restricted to those three choices.) I will always be a cisgender woman, so I will always have to remind myself not to enforce the binary. I'm doing the best I can. I'm working on it. I'm educating myself. But don't take away my identity.]

[MyOwnPrivateSFC]

While I do admittedly tend to think of "bisexual" as meaning "attracted to both men and women", I think there is an argument to be made related to (though not the same as) SomeoneRandom's definition: in theory, "bisexual" could mean "attracted to two (and only two) genders"...which would not, necessarily, be "men" and "women". In my case (and putting aside individual people's perceived or stated gender), I notice that I have a few different "types" when it comes to women, two "types" when it comes to men...and then a WHOLE different type when it comes to drag queens! (And no, I don't mean trans* or genderqueer people; I mean, very specifically, drag queens.) So a person could, in theory, be attracted to [those xe sees as] "men" AND [those xe sees as] "genderqueer/genderfluid people" BUT NOT [those xe sees as] "women", and thus reasonably call hirself "bi".

That said, I can totally see where Ouro is coming from, too: "bi" does mean "two", so, when you've been raised to believe in a gender binary, it is reasonable to see "bi" as referring to "men" and "women", to the exclusion of other genders. And that is absolutely a problem, that the assumption is that everyone can be divided solely into two gender categories, neatly labeled "male" and "female". So I can see where Ouro might be touchy about "bisexual" equaling "pan sexual".

And, because I do not ever stop talking (typing)...there's also the fact that baby-steps can be just as important as big ones. Bi people have a hard enough time as it is being accepted; I can't imagine calling ourselves pan could possibly help that. I'm not saying that that's fair or even okay--it's not--but it is an explanation. (Again, from my own experience: I have a mother who calls my a*sexuality and demiromanticism "sad"; I don't want to alienate my dad by trying to explain to him that there are more than two genders. He's totally okay with the concept of trans*, but he still sees it through a binary less: going from, for example, a "male" body to the "female" body you always felt you should have.)

And, finally (finally!)...I have to agree with SomeoneRandom about identity-policing: we have too many people here who define themselves in myriad ways, and not all of them can or want to have to justify their language choices. It's one thing to ask (nicely!) or discuss in general terms, but when someone is defining hirself...yeah, in that case, it's probably best to let that stand, even if you personally disagree with its accuracy. (Full disclosure: in a very rare show of diplomacy, I have, in fact, on this very Forum chosen to not call someone's self-identifying term "wrong", even though it objectively was. And no, I will not give any more details that that...mostly because I don't remember them! )

[Kildre]

I'm capable of being sexually attracted to people who fall anywhere on the gender spectrum, honestly. I'm not 100% sure what the correct term is. Really, I've lost track of the the veritable cornucopia of definitions, but gender has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not I find someone aesthetically appealing.

[Kuchafya613]

Bi means two, there's just no getting around that.

Yes, just like "lesbian" means someone from the island of Lesbos.

"I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted - romantically and/or sexually - to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree." --Robyn Ochs, bi activist

How about try some great stuff from Shiri Eisner, genderqueer bisexual activist/author:

• http://radicalbi.wor...but-ftm-is-not/
  
• http://radicalbi.wor...-not-pansexual/
  

Wouldn't that be pansexual? (Just trying to clarify the differences between the two.)

There are differences and similarities. It gets confusing. This one's for you, Swordrush:

• http://radicalbi.wor...d-pansexuality/
  

It's totally okay to ask, "hey, what do you mean?" But please, please, please, do not police my identity. It hurts my soul.

[i do not have a binary view of gender. Since moving in/becoming close friends with two genderqueer people, I've been educating myself and educating everyone I know to try to maximize awareness/acceptance. I talk about gender issues with one of them at least once a week, because ze's really into activism. I am the pronoun corrector. I observed Trans* Remembrance Day a couple weeks ago. (Emphasis on that star -- including non-binary folks, not just transmen or transwomen.) Making schools safer for students with non-normative gender identities is my proposed area of graduate school research. My friends have never, ever been bothered by my identity label. (And no, I'm not saying this stuff because I think I deserve a medal or something for not being cissexist/trans*phobic/binarist. I just really resent the implication that I am those things, and I try to be actively anti-cissexism/trans*phobia/binarism, and I'll call that shit out if someone who's binary trans acts that way... I don't know how to say all of this without coming off like a tool. I just have a lot of feelings about gender these days.) If you -- Ouroboros or anyone who's made it this far -- have any non-binary gender identity, I'd love to talk to you about my proposed research. I actually previously noted that you're one of the few people with an "undisclosed" gender, and I was curious about it. (And I was also curious if the forum could allow write-ins for the gender box and gender preference box so people aren't restricted to those three choices.) I will always be a cisgender woman, so I will always have to remind myself not to enforce the binary. I'm doing the best I can. I'm working on it. I'm educating myself. But don't take away my identity.]

My apologies. The question was based on my own personal confusion, not on any attempt to police, question, or contradict your identity. I did not mean to offend or hurt you in any way, shape, or form.

[Jorm]

Bi means two, there's just no getting around that.

Yes, just like "lesbian" means someone from the island of Lesbos.

"I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted - romantically and/or sexually - to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree." --Robyn Ochs, bi activist

How about try some great stuff from Shiri Eisner, genderqueer bisexual activist/author:

• http://radicalbi.wor...but-ftm-is-not/
  
• http://radicalbi.wor...-not-pansexual/
  

Wouldn't that be pansexual? (Just trying to clarify the differences between the two.)

There are differences and similarities. It gets confusing. This one's for you, Swordrush:

• http://radicalbi.wor...d-pansexuality/
  

It's totally okay to ask, "hey, what do you mean?" But please, please, please, do not police my identity. It hurts my soul.

[i do not have a binary view of gender. Since moving in/becoming close friends with two genderqueer people, I've been educating myself and educating everyone I know to try to maximize awareness/acceptance. I talk about gender issues with one of them at least once a week, because ze's really into activism. I am the pronoun corrector. I observed Trans* Remembrance Day a couple weeks ago. (Emphasis on that star -- including non-binary folks, not just transmen or transwomen.) Making schools safer for students with non-normative gender identities is my proposed area of graduate school research. My friends have never, ever been bothered by my identity label. (And no, I'm not saying this stuff because I think I deserve a medal or something for not being cissexist/trans*phobic/binarist. I just really resent the implication that I am those things, and I try to be actively anti-cissexism/trans*phobia/binarism, and I'll call that shit out if someone who's binary trans acts that way... I don't know how to say all of this without coming off like a tool. I just have a lot of feelings about gender these days.) If you -- Ouroboros or anyone who's made it this far -- have any non-binary gender identity, I'd love to talk to you about my proposed research. I actually previously noted that you're one of the few people with an "undisclosed" gender, and I was curious about it. (And I was also curious if the forum could allow write-ins for the gender box and gender preference box so people aren't restricted to those three choices.) I will always be a cisgender woman, so I will always have to remind myself not to enforce the binary. I'm doing the best I can. I'm working on it. I'm educating myself. But don't take away my identity.]

Woah. Okay, I think I came off very differently than I intended. Let me make this very clear. I am not in the least bit bothered by you or anyone else being bisexual. I have no problem with bisexuality. I have no problem with binary attraction. It was never my intent to imply that I thought there was anything wrong with being bisexual. I point is SOLELY that the word DOES imply attraction to two sexes, and two sexes only, though myownprivate makes a good point in that two doesn't necessarily mean male and female. There's nothing wrong with being attracted to only two sexes, just like there's nothing wrong with being attracted to only sex, or to none. I was not placing any value on the orientation, and I'm very sorry if it came off that way! I am perhaps overly particularly about language usage, especially around gender, because my own experience of gender in indeed non-binary. Through no fault of bisexuals, the widespread use of the term over words like omnisexual or pansexual where those would be more accurate reinforces the idea of a binary in the social conscious and so propagates the widespread ignorance of non-binary gender and sex. I take issue with the misapplication of the term bisexual where I feel other words are available that are more accurate and more beneficial to the community. I do NOT have any inherent objection to bisexuality. And I also get that it's often easier to tell people your bi than to get into a complicated explanation of gender systems, I do it myself sometimes, but I think it's important for people using the term to really be fully aware of EXACTLY what it implies. And when it comes right down to it, I stand by my statement that there is no getting around the fact that bi denotes two. No more than two, no less than two.

As far as the comparison with the word lesbian meaning someone from the isle of Lesbos, I think the key difference is this. The prefix "bi" is in widespread current usage to mean "two" and often to refer to a binary system, meaning that without conscious thought people understand a word with the prefix "bi" to be describing a binary system. On the other hand, current usage of the word lesbian, at least in English speaking countries, is almost solely understood to mean a woman to is sexual and/or romantically attracted to other women. Even a subconscious undercurrent of connection to the Isle of Lesbos is unlikely to be present for most people. At least not to the point of it affecting their understanding of the word lesbian as it is most commonly used. Very few people are going to mistakenly think that someone who has said they are a lesbian is from Lesbos, but I think most people WOULD assume that someone who says they are bisexual means they are attracted to men and women, and only men and women.

Again, I admit that I am probably overly pedantic about this, but I feel that misuse of the word bisexual has a direct affect on my quality of life as a person of non-binary gender. And again, I say MISuse of the word. Not correct use of it.

And I would be happy to talk to you about my own experiences of non-binary gender if you're interested. Feel free to PM me And I'm very sorry if you felt that I was policing your identity! That was not at ALL my intention.

ETA: Out of a desire to further clarify in case of misunderstanding. I do not think that biseuxality is tranphobic or that it implies a non-existence of non-binary genders and sexes. I don't quite understand why anyone WOULD think that. As a term to describe sexual orientation it refers only to the given person's attraction, not the wider state of human experience. To suggest that bisexuality denies the existence of non-binary genders and sexes is like saying that homosexuality denies the existence of women. Being bisexual doesn't mean denying that a whole myriad of genders and sexes exist, it just means that out of all of those a bisexual person is at least primarily attracted to only two of them. So when I say that overuse of the term bisexual where other terms are more accurate propagates ignorance of non-binary genders I do not mean that the existence of bisexuality does this, ONLY that misuse of it does so.

Hopefully I've made myself at least vaguely clear...

[ValkyriePleasant]

I'm bisexual to people I'm close to. Otherwise, I just say straight, because New York (at least the part I live in) is full of people who believe you should only like the opposite gender.

[SterlingSilver]

*stares at thread in wonder*.. I am really uneducated when it comes to all the varieties of romantic and sexual attraction. And if anyone out there has the time or interest, I really would love to look at a list of all the possibilities xD. I know of asexual, bisexual, pansexual, transexual(?)..And these relate to both emotional attraction and physical attraction? But I'm not entirely sure what they mean or how they are different. Then again, this thread has already been really enlightening in terms of that~

Personally, I'm pretty boring xD. Heterosexual/romantic as they come in all aspects of life, though I enjoy emotional connections with females. I'll often tell close female friends, "I love you," and seek physical comfort/support (like hugging) from them much more often than I will from males, actually. Most men, save for my boyfriend (or family), kind of make me uncomfortable when they want intimate physical contact... I usually prefer to initiate it with "male strangers" xD. But I guess that's pretty normal. It really is an interesting subject~ There are so many places to be, on so many different continuum!

Though I will say, as someone who knows little about this subject, I'm always worried I will unintentionally say something really offensive to someone of a specific orientation. (At the moment, I keep looking at this and editing it in fear I've said something dumb/insensitive *facepalm*). I'm learning about this subject as I go, though~!

[Jorm]

*stares at thread in wonder*.. I am really uneducated when it comes to all the varieties of romantic and sexual attraction. And if anyone out there has the time or interest, I really would love to look at a list of all the possibilities xD. I know of asexual, bisexual, pansexual, transexual(?)..And these relate to both emotional attraction and physical attraction? But I'm not entirely sure what they mean or how they are different. Then again, this thread has already been really enlightening in terms of that

Transsexual is a bit different. It's not a sexual orientation (though there are people who are specifically attracted to transsexuals, who I suppose could be called transsexual-sexuals ), it's a sense of self. A sense of your own gender and/or the physical sex you feel you belong to. It has no direct bearing on either physical or emotional attraction to others. In basic terms a transsexual is someone whose sense of self is that of the physical self and/or gender "opposite" to that which they were assigned at birth and who, generally speaking, wishes to have medical treatment to alter their body to reflect their internal sense of gender and sex. For example, someone who was born with xy chromosomes and male genitalia, but whose sense of self is that of a woman, or vice versa. Some people who are born intersex, meaning they have a combination of male and female physical characteristics, sometimes visibly, sometimes not, also consider themselves to be transsexuals if they find that the gender selected for them at birth was the wrong one and so pursue medical reversal, but other intersex people don't consider transsexuality on the basis that they were never really physically male or female to begin with.

There's a lot more to it than that, but hopefully that serves as a decent primer, and I don't want to threadjack this conversation more than I already have into one about gender rather than sexuality.

[DogLover]

I'm definitely pansexual, but in a kinda weird way. Basically, my sexual orientation is very, very closely tied to my interpersonal relationships with people. I tend to be extremely picky about people in general, and at least doubly so when it comes to romantic or sexual partners. I have also so far found myself incapable of any real sexual attraction to someone I don't already have a strong personal connection to. So I fall in love with and become attracted to specific people, based on who they are and actually a lot less on their bodies. (Well, that's not entirely accurate. I think I'll summarize by saying I'm attracted to body language instead of bodies.) The pansexual part comes in because this very weird type of attraction I experience can exist towards people of any gender identity or sexual identity whatsoever, because it has a lot less to do with that stuff than it does with who they are as people.

(I have no idea if any of that made any sense. Oh well.)

[MyOwnPrivateSFC]

It made perfect sense, DogLover. Though, since you sound a bit hesitant over using the term pansexual ("in a weird way"), I hope you won't be upset if I point you in the direction if a term that you might find more comfortable for you (or not! Like I said before, I do NOT want anyone to feel identity-policed!).

Demisexual: attracted solely or mostly to individuals (often, but not always, of either/any gender) only after a strong emotional connection has been formed. Demis are attracted to people, not types, and so are much more likely to "not see" gender, rather than actively being attracted to one or more genders as a type.

(Definition my own, because I couldn't find a short definition I liked. But that's the basic idea.)

And, Ouro: sexuality and gender are definitely linked for many people, even if they're not as simply combined as many if us were taught. If you feel comfortable talking about gender on this thread, I think you should go for it! You obviously have a very interested audience.

[DogLover]

Wait, there's actually a previously existing definition like that? Huh, who would have thought? (Not me, certainly.) It seems to fit me somewhat better. I'll go google it now. Thanks for pointing that out!

[Kuchafya613]

*stares at thread in wonder*.. I am really uneducated when it comes to all the varieties of romantic and sexual attraction. And if anyone out there has the time or interest, I really would love to look at a list of all the possibilities xD. I know of asexual, bisexual, pansexual, transexual(?)..And these relate to both emotional attraction and physical attraction? But I'm not entirely sure what they mean or how they are different. Then again, this thread has already been really enlightening in terms of that~

Personally, I'm pretty boring xD. Heterosexual/romantic as they come in all aspects of life, though I enjoy emotional connections with females. I'll often tell close female friends, "I love you," and seek physical comfort/support (like hugging) from them much more often than I will from males, actually. Most men, save for my boyfriend (or family), kind of make me uncomfortable when they want intimate physical contact... I usually prefer to initiate it with "male strangers" xD. But I guess that's pretty normal. It really is an interesting subject~ There are so many places to be, on so many different continuum!

Though I will say, as someone who knows little about this subject, I'm always worried I will unintentionally say something really offensive to someone of a specific orientation. (At the moment, I keep looking at this and editing it in fear I've said something dumb/insensitive *facepalm*). I'm learning about this subject as I go, though~!

Honestly, I think there's a lot to learn in regards to sexuality and gender for most people. I thought I knew a lot about sexuality, but over time, I'm finding that I know less and less. But I think that the most important thing is a desire to learn and a recognition that we don't know it all. When we keep our minds open, we can learn things that we never knew we never knew. (Sorry, but Pocahontas just seemed appropriate there.)

[Jorm]

I'm definitely pansexual, but in a kinda weird way. Basically, my sexual orientation is very, very closely tied to my interpersonal relationships with people. I tend to be extremely picky about people in general, and at least doubly so when it comes to romantic or sexual partners. I have also so far found myself incapable of any real sexual attraction to someone I don't already have a strong personal connection to. So I fall in love with and become attracted to specific people, based on who they are and actually a lot less on their bodies. (Well, that's not entirely accurate. I think I'll summarize by saying I'm attracted to body language instead of bodies.) The pansexual part comes in because this very weird type of attraction I experience can exist towards people of any gender identity or sexual identity whatsoever, because it has a lot less to do with that stuff than it does with who they are as people.

(I have no idea if any of that made any sense. Oh well.)

I also think this made perfect sense, and I think it's probably a lot more common than you think. I know a lot of people, of various orientations who need to feel an emotional connection to a person before they develop any significant sexual attraction to them.

[SomeoneRandom]

Sorry for my emotional outburst last night! As you can tell, this is a touchy subject for me. It was late and I just got a bit too upset....

My apologies. The question was based on my own personal confusion, not on any attempt to police, question, or contradict your identity. I did not mean to offend or hurt you in any way, shape, or form.

No need to apologize. You're cool. I could tell you were just asking. It's 100% encouraged to educate yourself. I find all these terms overwhelming sometimes even though I follow about a zillion blogs and try to make it my business to know. I'm learning new stuff each day. (For example, "squish", a term from the asexual community.)

I have to agree with SomeoneRandom about identity-policing: we have too many people here who define themselves in myriad ways, and not all of them can or want to have to justify their language choices. It's one thing to ask (nicely!) or discuss in general terms, but when someone is defining hirself...yeah, in that case, it's probably best to let that stand, even if you personally disagree with its accuracy.

Thank you for saying this. I know you don't agree with my definition, but it's cool for you to respect it. Our identities are our own, and it's up to us to define them. An identity is how we define ourselves. It is personal and unique -- we just use these labels as shorthand to relate to each other. Some people eschew them altogether because they simply can't find the right ones (or because they object to them on political grounds)... I hope you'll read some of the links about the bisexual definition, though.

And now, Ouroboros! Thank you for replying to my rant with much more respect than I expected.

Again, I admit that I am probably overly pedantic about this, but I feel that misuse of the word bisexual has a direct affect on my quality of life as a person of non-binary gender. And again, I say MISuse of the word. Not correct use of it.

I'm sorry that you feel that way (seriously), but, again, I don't think someone else's identity word is yours to define. I am not misusing the term "bisexual" when I use it to refer to myself. As I stated, I am attracted to (1) people with the same or similar gender identity/presentation as mine, and (2) to people with a different gender identity/presentation as mine. There you go -- there's the "two", the "bi".

I hear what you're saying. A lot of people point to the etymology of the word and also how they think it might be understood by others as reasons not to use it. I reject that idea precisely because it ignores the history of how actual bisexual people have defined the word -- our own word.

I used to not mind pansexual, either. I don't know how I feel about it, really. I guess I just think it has too much of this, as I see it, biphobic connotation.

I just like "queer" or saying that I "like people of any gender" or "don't have a gender preference" or even "like men, women, and people who are neither or variations thereof" (because that gets fussily wordy and I like that). Just because you see that as fitting with only the term pansexual doesn't mean that I see it that way.

I like that you said that it's fine for people to actually only be attracted to two genders, because that's totally legitimate. It's not my experience, but why not? No one says it's binarist for people to identify themselves as homosexual or heterosexual!

Hope we're cool. I will PM you about that.

Anyway, I'll stop now because I think I may have hijacked this thread a bit. Sorry.

[Jorm]

And now, Ouroboros! Thank you for replying to my rant with much more respect than I expected.

First of all; Ack! I feel bad that my tone prior to that post made you think I wouldn't be respectful! Though I have to admit looking back, I probably shouldn't be surprised. I responded with a knee jerk reaction to something that I hear all the time from people who are saying it out of ignorance rather than the careful consideration you have obviously given the issue. I made an assumption based on prior experience that you were speaking largely out of a lack of education on the subject and that was a mistake. I shouldn't have done that and I'm very sorry that I obviously came off as an asshole!

I'm sorry that you feel that way (seriously), but, again, I don't think someone else's identity word is yours to define. I am not misusing the term "bisexual" when I use it to refer to myself. As I stated, I am attracted to (1) people with the same or similar gender identity/presentation as mine, and (2) to people with a different gender identity/presentation as mine. There you go -- there's the "two", the "bi".

You know, I never thought about it that way. Your two directions of attraction. That's... A good point. Which I should not admit so begrudgingly. And ultimately, you're right, it's not my place to tell anyone that they're IDing incorrectly. I was veering beyond an objective linguistic issue into policing territory and that was out of line. Again, it was a knee jerk reaction and I suspect I probably have less patience with the discussion of how the term bisexual relates to trans* and non-binary issues than I used to, but while that's hopefully understandable, it's no excuse.

I used to not mind pansexual, either. I don't know how I feel about it, really. I guess I just think it has too much of this, as I see it, biphobic connotation.

It's sad that it has grown to have that connotation, but I think you're right that it has. Certainly I have seen plenty of people who ID as pan who are inexplicably biphobic.

I just like "queer" or saying that I "like people of any gender" or "don't have a gender preference" or even "like men, women, and people who are neither or variations thereof" (because that gets fussily wordy and I like that). Just because you see that as fitting with only the term pansexual doesn't mean that I see it that way.

I've misrepresented myself again here, I see! I seem to be doing that all over the place in this thread. I don't think that queer and pansexual are necessarily synonymous. I think they CAN be, but I do not by any means think they always are. Queer is the word I most frequently use to describe my own sexuality and I most definitely do NOT mean pansexual when I say it. I do not see it the way you though I did at all! In fact I'm appalled at myself for having said anything that suggested otherwise! I see pansexual as having a fairly specific meaning, whereas I see queer as having much broader, more varied meanings that are very individual to the person using the word. I never assume I know exactly what a person means when they tell me they're queer because it can essentially be a catch all for anything that fits no other existing category. Not that the person using it doesn't have a specific meaning in mind when they say it, but that it's over all usage in the community includes a lot of different meanings so in a general sense it functions as a catch all. To the point where when I say queer, even when using it to describe myself, I don't always mean exactly the same thing. Sometimes I mean it as a sexual orientation, sometimes I mean it as a gender descriptor, and sometimes I mean it as just generally not hetero.

Hope we're cool. I will PM you about that.

I'm definitely cool with you, and I hope you're cool with me too. And I look forward to a PM.

[Watercolor Daydreams]

Right now, I identify myself as straight with bisexual tendencies. Most of the people I've had attractions to are males, but I have had small, teeny tiny crushes on one or two girls. I don't know if that counts though; as a teen I don't think I'm sure what I am. I'm just going to go with my gut for now.

[Kuchafya613]

Right now, I identify myself as straight with bisexual tendencies. Most of the people I've had attractions to are males, but I have had small, teeny tiny crushes on one or two girls. I don't know if that counts though; as a teen I don't think I'm sure what I am. I'm just going to go with my gut for now.

I know exactly what you mean. I call myself straight, but I'm open to the possibility of meeting a guy who is perfect for me. I know that, with my personality and what I'm looking for in a mate, my significant other will likely be a female. However, if my mate ends up having a penis and not a vagina...works for me.

[•.*°•☆. Q .☆•°*.•]

I call myself straight, but I'm open to the possibility of meeting a guy who is perfect for me. I know that, with my personality and what I'm looking for in a mate, my significant other will likely be a female. However, if my mate ends up having a penis and not a vagina...works for me.

And they wouldn't even have to be male.

(There are plenty of females with dingledongles is what I'm trying to say here, and plenty of men with vagoos. Just a friendly reminder )

[Kuchafya613]

I call myself straight, but I'm open to the possibility of meeting a guy who is perfect for me. I know that, with my personality and what I'm looking for in a mate, my significant other will likely be a female. However, if my mate ends up having a penis and not a vagina...works for me.

And they wouldn't even have to be male.

(There are plenty of females with dingledongles is what I'm trying to say here, and plenty of men with vagoos. Just a friendly reminder )

True...thanks for the reminder (Having grown up in a very conservative city, state, and school, I often forget to think outside the traditional binary.)

[Beam_Me_Up]

Wow, I had no idea the topic of sexuality and personal identification of sexuality were so complex. I suppose that's because I have never really discussed the topic with anyone or done any research on it. To be honest, I have never heard a lot of these terms. I think I am going to have to do some research into this topic.

I, myself am heterosexual, but I open to other peoples sexualities and don't have a problem with people of any sexuality (not that anyone should have a problem!). I've never really understood why people tell others how they should feel with regards to their own sexuality... seriously, it's a personal thing!

With regards to this fetish, I am also only interested in female sneezes. BUT when I was younger (before high school) I enjoyed male sneezes as well, but now they completely turn me off. I find this really weird and have never understood why this happened...

[Chimerical Baguette]

I masturbate to sneezes, and need sneezes to be turned on, but I have no interest in engaging in sex.

This is more or less me. I actually have three other fetishes, and even like one part of the female anatomy typically considered sexual, but that's it. I have tried having sex a couple times without having any fetish appeasement and it was either totally humiliating or just boring/kinda unpleasant. Even when I'm humored, the sex part is just for the other person and I don't really enjoy it. It makes me sad, because I really like physical affection and I can't engage the culmination of all of it, the shared release part, etc. in a genuine way. I only want one-sided pleasure from people. Feels sort of solipsistic.

I guess I am cis male and heterosexual, but I find myself wishing I was a girl pretty often? So I could be a tomboyish girl and still like girls? I don't know. It doesn't feel all-consuming to the point where I'm positive I would ever do anything about it. I do, on that note, find myself attracted to certain degrees of androgyny in girls.

All these talks about identity politics are a nice surprise. To the person above me, you really can't go wrong by starting out with "The Second Sex" by Simone de Beauvoir and/or "Gender Trouble: Feminism and The Subversion of Identity" by Judith Butler. These are kind of the bread and butter texts of gender studies, which have evolved a lot since these were published and are continually doing so, but they give you a good idea of where a lot of its outgrowth came from.

[Azrael]

up until i was about 14 i was straight, then i turned bi around when i was in high school. so both genders turn me on, but im picky about what girls im attracted to more. other than that, i generally am more attracted to guys

[Bluebird]

It's funny because I've been complaining about my sexuality for like...three years now? And I'm still not sure entirely.

I don't like most labels, though I'm starting to figure that kind of stuff out. I used to identify as pansexual with a more straight preference, but the whole

"do-it-yourself" label doesn't feel quite right. Heteroflexibility (a variant on bi-curiosity/bisexuality where the attraction is chiefly straight with minimal homosexual attraction) seems to fit more closely to the point.

I also find myself fitting on the asexual/aromantic scale, but not completely-- so I guess demiromantic/demisexual comes pretty close to where I seem to stand.

Heteroflexible demiromantic. There you have it.

[Heavy-Chevy]

I hate to put labels on myself because my sexuality is complex. In RL I'd describe myself as asexual but when it comes to the fetish, I'm definitely Bi. And my preference of M/F constantly varies depending on my mood. Some days I'm mostly into M, while others I enjoy F. Like I said, I'm a complex person.