Bits and Pieces (Rivers' short fanfics, updated 09/06/18)

[beatlelover22]

Wow, I'm SO late to comment on this! I loved all the drabbles, particularly the one with Peggy and Jarvis :3 Gotta love those two! If you have time, maybe could I ask for more Agent Carter stuff?

[TaurielRiver]

*bursts in the room after finally seeing Age of Ultron!*

Steve! Okay YES!

I am so on-board with the idea that he would usually pinch his nose to be all gentlemanly and withhold it… he’s too polite for this modern world and I absolutely love it.

And conversations with Tasha, yay! I always find myself craving more interactions between all of them than the super action-y nature of the films can provide me with, so it’s awesome (and... adorable!) seeing these less-explored friendship pairings playing out.

[RiversD]

@stitch thanks, wanted to get something in before the movie potentially made me re-think all the things. (I probably shouldn't have worried too much)

@beatlelover22 Hi! I'm glad you're enjoying them! I'll do my best, though as everyone should know by now, I suck at seeing projects through on schedule. The amount of half-written fics on my computer is getting ridiculous.

@TaurielRiver I want Steve and Tasha being best buds all over my everything at all times. Precious babies too good for this world.

Another thing I wanted to get off my desk (it's not like I have 6 other things to be doing today...)

Title: Briefing

Character: Jack Thompson

Fandom: MCU, Agent Carter

Tags: ?

Authors Notes: I dunno. The idea of Thompson having pixie sneezes amused me. *shrugs*

“So we’ll need to go over the pictures from last night. Sousa, you can do that.”

Sousa nodded, and the chief moved on down the duty list. The assorted agents of the SSR shuffled their papers and took notes as the day’s affairs were set in order.

Something seemed to be bothering Agent Thompson, Peggy mused. She found the main thread of the meeting pretty dull, so it was easy to be distracted by him as he raised his hand to his face. And again. It was almost mechanical. He would press a sharp knuckle beneath his nose, sniff, swallow, and lower his hand, only to repeat himself a short while later.

It was a losing battle, though. A scant few minutes after his discomfort had first caught her attention, Thompson blinked hard in irritation, swiped a fist against his nose, then, giving it up as a bad job, pushed his chair back and twisted away from the table. Those of them that followed the movement could see his mouth fall open in an almost soundless inhale before he bobbed into cupped hands with a squeaking release.

“…’chiew!”

The room went quiet. Peggy hid her smile behind her hand. Chief Dooley was somewhat less discreet with his amusement.

“The hell was that?”

Thompson shrugged defensively, cheeks flushing to pink.

“What? Can’t a guy sneeze without bringing the world to a standstill?”

Dooley looked as though he was preparing a response, but Sousa got there before him, with a shrug and a soft:

“Sure. Bless you.”

Thompson gave him a curt nod.

“Right. Thanks. Can we?”

The meeting recommenced. There was a careful absence of laughter. For now.

[Anonymouse]

Omg I love it! Tiny little sneeze And Dooley's "the hell was that" reaction was so hilariously in character.

[SpamKey]

Aaaaagh Agent Carter!!!! I love it!!

[sauce]

I absolutely love your writing style! Keep up the great work, and thanks for sharing with us!

[levinelover]

Love the captain america stories!!!!!

[Bruyere]

I love that Captain America drabble <3 so cute!

[Lexi]

Sorry to go back to such an old drabble. But Paperwork is the best fic i've ever read. Its everything I didnt even know i wanted. Bond in sweats and joggers GOOD LORD. That is everything. I must implore you to continue writing Bond fics, you are superb at it/

[RiversD]

@ Anonymouse- Glad you think so! Thanks

@SpamKey Agent Carter's the best.

@Pirka Aw, thank you! Always happy to share.

@levinelover Thanks! Always good to know I'm doing alright with the fandoms I love.

@Bruyere Yay, thanks!

@Lexi Thanks so much, I was really uncertain as to how well that one had gone. I thought of the scenario first, and Bond happened to be the character I was able to make suit it. I shall have to root around in my plot bunnies and see if I have any others that can be likewise commandeered...

[RiversD]

Well, this wasn't the story I thought I would be writing today. But then Bruyere wrote her very lovely 'The Cat Burglar Affair', and my brain decided that it couldn't possibly put off writing Man From U.N.C.L.E. fic a moment longer. So here's some Beautiful Russian Murder Muffin for y'all to enjoy.

n.b. I've yet to watch the TV series beyond clips and such, so this is based on the recent film.

Title: Last Night in Rome
Character: Illya Kuryakin
Fandom: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015 film)
Tags: cold, handkerchiefs
Authors Notes: Set mid-film, just after Illya and Napoleon sneak back into their hotel.

“I don’t think he needs your help.” Gaby commented drily as Victoria’s contented moans filtered through Illya’s speaker.

“No.” the Russian agreed, turning off the device with an expression of disgust. He stared at it for a long moment, before his features crumpled into an altogether more vulnerable arrangement and he raised his free hand to field a powerful sneeze.

“ah- ESSCHuh!” He drew himself up with a brisk sniff. “Excuse me.”

“Bless you.” Hovering behind Kuryakin as he crouched over his gadgetry, Gaby took in the man’s appearance properly for the first time. He was soaked. The dark clothes he was wearing hid their dampness well, but his hair was dripping, and stray water droplets still clung to his face and neck.

“What have you been doing?”

Kuryakin frowned, and stood up, setting the radio equipment aside.

“Next time, we should find a thief who knows to turn off the alarm.” he declared, as though that was all that need be said on the matter. He swiped irritably at his nose as he spoke. Gaby couldn’t tell if the wet sheen visible beneath his nostrils was just part of his overall soddenness, or…

“ESSCHUH!” The sneeze burst out with so little warning that Gaby jumped. Illya seemed to have anticipated it better, managing to cover his mouth at least. Now he stood with one hand loosely cupped beneath his nose, index finger pressing firmly against his septum. Gaby watched, taking in his profile in the lamplight. His eyes were closed, the strong line of his nose disturbed now by the shallowest of wrinkles at its peak.

“Are you alright?” She asked, as the moment stretched out and Illya failed to move a muscle.

Illya’s eyes snapped open as though she had jerked him out of some private reverie. He lowered his hand slightly, and shot her a look that was almost apologetic.

“I thought I-” he began, but his voice acquired an urgent tremor to it before he could get more than a few words out. He turned away from Gaby, drew an enormous breath, and sneezed so hard it almost doubled him over.

“hhh-GSSCHHUh!”

“Bless you, my Gosh!” Gaby reached out instinctively to put a hand to Illya’s back, and was shocked when he didn’t fling her off right away. Shocked, too, by the frigid cold of his soaking jacket against her palm. He must be chilled through, she decided.

Favoring action over further questions, she moved quickly to the bedside table and back. When Kuryakin turned back to her, she was holding out a handkerchief at arms’ length.

“You should dry off.” She told him. Illya nodded, taking the handkerchief gently from her fingers and making grateful use of it. She tutted.

“And then you'd better come to bed. It could be an eventful day tomorrow. I wouldn’t like you to be anything less than quick off the mark.”

[Bruyere]

Yesssssss.Yesss! I made actual clapping hand noises when I saw that you'd updated this with MFU fic. (Also Beautiful Russian Murder Muffin is the best phrase.)

“Next time, we should find a thief who knows to turn off the alarm.” he declared, as though that was all that need be said on the matter.

Ha!

His eyes were closed, the strong line of his nose disturbed now by the shallowest of wrinkles at its peak.

Oh, My. God. Really. I love this so much, juuuust the tiniest movement, argh. <3

“I thought I-” he began, but his voice acquired an urgent tremor to it before he could get more than a few words out. He turned away from Gaby, drew an enormous breath, and sneezed so hard it almost doubled him over.
“hhh-GSSCHHUh!”

Mmmm, yes. Such a good sound for him too. Oh and the 'almost apologetic' bit, I could picture perfectly that puppydog thing he does with his eyes. And I love that he takes the little bit of comfort she offers him here, both in her touch and the handkerchief. And of course that Gaby favours action because this is very nuch Gaby.

“And then you'd better come to bed. It could be an eventful day tomorrow. I wouldn’t like you to be anything less than quick off the mark.”

Also, I feel like this is the best way to get Illya to respond to concern about his health by turning it back on the mission (and on her own safety) than by expecting him to recognise concern for his own wellbeing for its own sake.

So so so glad that you wrote this. Exactly what I wanted/needed after the film. Now excuse me while I just re-read it another 1,234,567,890 times.

[Pyrus_Fangmon]

Ah, very interesting! I haven't heard of this film, I must search for it now

[RiversD]

Wow, it's been a while.

Bruyere: Thanks so much for this! (I am going to come find your other fics and leave reviews just as soon as life and my brain will let me)

Oh, My. God. Really. I love this so much, juuuust the tiniest movement, argh. <3

It wasn't till writing this that I realised what a good nose he has for this sort of image, and now I can't stop. I'm so happy you approved of that one sound as well. He's such an adorable BRRM.

Pyrus_Fangmon: Do! It's so good. So good. (Does contain scenes of torture, if you're squeamish, but SO good).

Title: Stubborn, but not Stupid
Character: Hugh Beringar
Fandom: The Cadfael Chronicles (bookverse)
Tags: illness
Authors Notes: So short! I don't know if that's a win for self-control or a lose for my attention span. I may be the only Cadfael fan here, but that ain't gonna stop me.

“kt’sschuh!” Hugh bent low over his horse’s neck with a shivering sneeze, which Cadfael noticed found sympathetic echoes in his friend’s shoulders and hands. It was not like Hugh Beringar to let his hand be so unsteady on the reins.

“You’re in no state to be out tonight, Hugh.” he chided, “Go back to Aline and get yourself warm.”

“It’s not so bad.” His friend protested, despite plain evidence to the contrary.

“It will be worse if you ride all the way to Bayston Hill tonight. I’ll give your regards to Master Parnell, there’ll be no insult taken.”

“I really don’t think-” Hugh began, but paused to wedge a gloved finger beneath his swelling nostrils. To no avail, however. The sneeze wrested itself from him in a broken stutter of breath.

“hhkh'issch’ussht!”

“Bless you, man. Now get you gone, or Aline will never let you ride out with me again.”

“The day she refuses you anything, I’ll drop dead from the shock.” Hugh laughed. But he was already turning his horse towards home. “Still, a wise man knows when to yield, or so they say. No doubt but you’d give me a hard evening of it if I stayed.”

“Not half so hard as that cold will, given the chance. My love to Aline, and I’ll see you both at Sunday Mass, if you’re well enough to come.”

“We’ll be there.” Hugh promised.

[Bruyere]

Bruyere, on 11 Sept 2015 - 6:57 PM, said:Oh, My. God. Really. I love this so much, juuuust the tiniest movement, argh. <3
It wasn't till writing this that I realised what a good nose he has for this sort of image, and now I can't stop. I'm so happy you approved of that one sound as well. He's such an adorable BRRM.

I might have to PM you for a more in depth discussion about this because up until about 6 months - a year ago I was more along the lines of 'yep, noses, cool' and now it's more like 'but his nooooooose asdfghjkl; <3'. It's definitely a thing now so obviously I hope you carry on!

I may be the only Cadfael fan here, but that ain't gonna stop me.

I really hope it doesn't stop you when you write such delicious things! I am only loosely familiar with Cadfael but I enjoyed this anyway.

“kt’sschuh!” Hugh bent low over his horse’s neck with a shivering sneeze, which Cadfael noticed found sympathetic echoes in his friend’s shoulders and hands

I love both the shivering sneeze and the sympathetic echoes here. I really like the sympathetic echoes, such a lovely turn of phrase.

The sneeze wrested itself from him in a broken stutter of breath.

I love descriptions about people being overcome by sneezes and this was no exception and gah, that spelling was so good.

[RiversD]

up until about 6 months - a year ago I was more along the lines of 'yep, noses, cool' and now it's more like 'but his nooooooose asdfghjkl; <3'. It's definitely a thing now so obviously I hope you carry on!

I know, right?

And thanks so much for the Cadfael-drabble-breakdown! You've somehow managed to pick out and praise all the bits I was either quite proud of or quite insecure about, so thank you! This was really encouraging to read.

[RiversD]

Apparently today is a getting-stuff-done day, so here's a very short Sirius drabble:

Title: Just like Old Times.
Character: Sirius Black
Fandom: Harry Potter
Tags: illness, noseblowing, mess mention.
Authors Notes: Set during the 'Lie low at Lupin's' Summer after GoF.

“Why didn’t you say something?”

“Didn’t want anyone to worry.” Sirius croaked.

“What, like I’m worrying now?”

“Something like that. Sorry.”

“You’re such an idiot.”

Sirius sniffed. He was propped up by everything Remus owned that even vaguely resembled a pillow, and he was still struggling to breathe properly. “Sorry.” He repeated. “I didn’t think it would get this bad.”

“Well it probably wouldn’t have if you’d taken the time to look after yourself. Honestly, if- ah.”

Sirius had stopped listening. He had tried to sniff through the congestion again and triggered a reaction in his nose.

“sor…eh…HASCHHew!”

“Sirius! Use the tissues, please. You’re going to glue your hands to your face doing that.”

“You sound like my mother.” Sirius complained, but reached for the tissues anyway. He paused. “Well, no you don’t. You sound like Mrs Potter. But she counts.”

“Yeah, obviously.”

[SneezeyLove]

D'aww, that last one XD  Also, I just watched Man From UNCLE for the first time, and I heartily approve of that one as well!

[Sitruuna]

...and apparently I should check people's drabble threads more often..!

Aww that Sirius drabble is so nice. Poor guy~

[RiversD]

On 11/02/2016 at 11:03 PM, SneezeyLove said:

D'aww, that last one XD  Also, I just watched Man From UNCLE for the first time, and I heartily approve of that one as well!

Man From U.N.C.L.E = so good. It's just about everything I love in a movie.

On 11/02/2016 at 11:32 PM, Sitruuna said:

...and apparently I should check people's drabble threads more often..!

Aww that Sirius drabble is so nice. Poor guy~

Aw, thank you!

 

Title: Luctus
Character: Thomas Nightingale
Fandom: Rivers of London/ Peter Grant Novels
Tags: allergies, handkerchief
Authors Notes: I'm still not sure what i think about this, but hey! It's a finished thing, so... *proffers*

We were pretty sure that Frank Hazelworth wasn’t home, but that didn’t mean we were about to rush into his house unprepared. After all, his absence gave us the chance to peek through the downstairs windows and get a feel for what was waiting for us in there. No pets, which was always a blessing for housebreakers and policemen alike.

It didn’t take us long to confirm that Hazelworth was a practitioner. The books of magic were shelved in plain sight in his study. Well, in plain sight of someone crouching in the rhododendrons and squinting beneath the blinds. And then there was what we glimpsed through the living room curtains.

“That’s weird,” I said. Understatement. The front room was decked out like the stereotype of a funeral parlour. The only surfaces that weren’t covered in lilies held candles. I couldn’t see what it was all in aid of, though. There was certainly no coffin in there.

“Did we just miss a funeral?” I asked.

“luctus,”said Nightingale. “A form of object enchantment that revolves around an expression of mourning. It fell out of fashion a long time ago- the effort of creating a focus for the spell usually outweighs the benefits received.”

“Someone doesn’t think so,” I said, rather redundantly, I admit.

“No.” Nightingale frowned. “I can’t see an obvious focus, so the enchantment is likely to be complete- or, if we’re fortunate, not yet begun. I think we had better take a look inside, don’t you?”

We went in the back way, and did a quick scope of the house. Nobody home, which was a relief. Nightingale paused in the kitchen to make a list of the herbs Hazelworth had stocked his cupboards with. He seemed impressed, though I wasn’t sure if it was case-relevant or if Molly had been looking for a supplier of archaic seasonings.

We saved the living room for last. I was about to walk in when Nightingale stopped me.

“Wait, Peter.” I paused with my hand resting on the doorknob. I was expecting a warning of some sort, but Nightingale just pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and held it over his face. “Sorry. Shall we?”

“Do I need to go and get us masks, sir?” I asked. There would probably be at least one in the go bag.

“What? No.” said Nightingale. “I’m afraid I’m allergic to certain species’ of lily. I thought it best to be prepared.”

“Oh.” I filed that knowledge for future consideration, and pushed on into the living room.

The scent was overpowering, the change in the texture of the air like walking into the Palm House at Kew.  We had barely taken three steps into the room when I caught Nightingale’s flinch in my peripheral vision, and turned my head in time to see him smother a trio of brisk, irritated sneezes into his handkerchief. From his raised eyebrows afterwards, I don’t think he’d quite expected the third one.

“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather wait outside, sir?” I said.

Nightingale considered this, blinking at me over the top of his handkerchief. I guessed that his eyes were starting to object to the lilies as well, given the moist sheen to them that his rapid blinking didn’t seem able to dispel. He still looked mildly bewildered by the speed of his reaction, and I suddenly realised that he’d probably never been exposed to an allergen in such high concentrations before. I wondered how much they taught you about how allergies worked in the 1920s. Not much, I’d bet.

“That might be a good idea,” he conceded, voice betraying how tenuous a hold he had over his own breathing at present. Still, he made a go of it. “If you’re quite sure you can ha-hah-haT’SCH!”

When he straightened up again, I could tell that he was starting to blush behind his linen shield. Since I was finding the situation as awkward as he was, I didn’t mention it.

“Go,” I told him. “I’ll call you if there’s anything I don’t recognise.”

This seemed to be an acceptable assurance that he wouldn’t be putting me in danger by leaving.

“Go slowly,” he said. “And do-don’t touch a-anything that-” He was obviously going to have a hard time reaching the end of his sentence, so I stepped in to cut short the agony for both of us.

“Got it, boss. Go slow, no touching, come and get you if I find anything unusual at all.”

 He nodded gratefully, and retreated, falling prey to two more irrepressible sneezes on his way out.

“If I were you, I’d wait out by the car.” I said, and closed the door behind him.

[Bruyere]

So I never considered that Nightingale might not properly understand allergies and now I feel like a whole new world of possibilities has opened up to me, which, thank you for that!

Also, I had to make like Peter Grant and resort to google for the title (because GCSE Latin was a looooong time ago) and it's just perfect.

19 hours ago, RiversD said:

No pets, which was always a blessing for housebreakers and policemen alike.

... The books of magic were shelved in plain sight in his study. Well, in plain sight of someone crouching in the rhododendrons and squinting beneath the blinds. And then there was what we glimpsed through the living room curtains.

You have a great feel for Peter's voice.

19 hours ago, RiversD said:

We had barely taken three steps into the room when I caught Nightingale’s flinch in my peripheral vision, and turned my head in time to see him smother a trio of brisk, irritated sneezes into his handkerchief. From his raised eyebrows afterwards, I don’t think he’d quite expected the third one.

I love Nightingale's surprise at a third sneeze. I am always a sucker for that 'why have I exceeded my usual amount' thing.

19 hours ago, RiversD said:

“That might be a good idea,” he conceded, voice betraying how tenuous a hold he had over his own breathing at present. Still, he made a go of it. “If you’re quite sure you can ha-hah-haT’SCH!”

When he straightened up again, I could tell that he was starting to blush behind his linen shield. Since I was finding the situation as awkward as he was, I didn’t mention it.

Love the description of Nightingales breathing. That fluttery sensation that it give to his speech and that sneeze is perfect for him. And I love it when they're both simultaneously rubbish and affectionate towards each other, if you know what I mean?

19 hours ago, RiversD said:

“Go slowly,” he said. “And do-don’t touch a-anything that-” He was obviously going to have a hard time reaching the end of his sentence, so I stepped in to cut short the agony for both of us.

Aww. In a repressed British slightly agonised way.

[queenie]

I just saw this for the VERY FIRST TIME, friend RiversD, and let me say there is some good stuff here-- Steve and Remus and CARLOS! and Jarvis and your Tony are all especially good, and that fresh Sirius one is rather heartbreaking-- Mrs. Potter. Very sad. I've enjoyed this thread such that I even read corners of it I wasn't familiar with or wouldn't normally care for-- you're really very sweet, smart, and good!

[RiversD]

On 02/04/2016 at 2:03 PM, Bruyere said:

So I never considered that Nightingale might not properly understand allergies and now I feel like a whole new world of possibilities has opened up to me, which, thank you for that!

I know, right? I wiki'ed, and apparently the idea of having an 'allergy' wasn't a thing until 1906, and allergies as we know them weren't properly classified til the 60s (oversimplifying, but hey), so I figure he's unlikely to have kept up on his reading over something that's a minor nuisance at most to his life.

(I googled for the title too)

On 02/04/2016 at 2:03 PM, Bruyere said:

You have a great feel for Peter's voice.

Thank you! I'm always scared I don't have the right sort of brain to do him well.

I am also a sucker for unexpected extra sneezes. Whenever possible.

On 02/04/2016 at 2:03 PM, Bruyere said:

And I love it when they're both simultaneously rubbish and affectionate towards each other, if you know what I mean?

Yes. yes I do.

Thank you so much for taking the time for such a long and lovely comment! *flings love in your general direction*

 

 

On 05/04/2016 at 9:48 PM, queenie said:

I just saw this for the VERY FIRST TIME, friend RiversD, and let me say there is some good stuff here-- Steve and Remus and CARLOS! and Jarvis and your Tony are all especially good, and that fresh Sirius one is rather heartbreaking-- Mrs. Potter. Very sad. I've enjoyed this thread such that I even read corners of it I wasn't familiar with or wouldn't normally care for-- you're really very sweet, smart, and good!

AAAAAHHH, thank you! I'm so flattered that you came to my little corner, and that you kept reading! And honoured that you tolerated unfamiliar/less than loved fandoms in the process. Large amounts of happy blushing going on.

 

Ugh, you're both so great, and I wish I was less tired so I could flail over you for longer.

[RiversD]

Title: Lecture
Character: Indiana Jones
Fandom: Indiana Jones
Tags: chalk dust, whatever that counts as, handkerchiefs.
Authors Notes: About half of this has been sitting in my drafts since forever. I'm kicking it out into the world whether it likes it or not.

 

It was the second lecture of the semester for this class, and they seemed a bright enough bunch. Professor Jones decided to test the virgin waters. Chalk describing a neat arc around a section of hastily sketched map, he asked:

“So what can Wooley’s conclusion here tell us abou- “ grimacing, Jones twisted away from the chalkboard to smother an unexpected “hh-Kschnh!” into the fold of his elbow. The class murmured sympathetically, and he turned back to his diagram, sensing a rising heat in his cheeks. His nose still felt a little off-kilter, but he ploughed on, hoping that the feeling could be willed away.

“Excuse me. So, Wooley has designated this set of tombs the Royal Tombs. What does that tell us about how he is interpreting the burial goods through the lens of… of his own expectations?”

A smattering of hands went up, but Indy was finding it difficult to focus on them. He held his breath as he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket, collecting it to his face just before his resolve gave out.

“tcchhf! Ah-ksschf! hht’choo!”  Again, a chorus of mumbled blessings was forthcoming. Angling away from the students, he scrubbed at his nose until he was quite certain the itch was dealt with, then put the handkerchief away and treated them to a sheepish grin. “Sorry, I think the chalk’s getting to me. Yes, Suzie?”

Suzie seemed a little surprised that he’d learnt her name already, but recovered well.

“Um. Does the name mean that Wooley thinks the highest social rank will always be royalty?”

“In a way. You see, the assumption  being made…”

Class continued. There were no further interruptions, but that didn’t prevent Jones’ annoyance at there having been any at all. His nose hadn’t been half so sensitive before he broke it (well, had it broken) over the summer. Still, that was the price you paid if you were going to do your own fieldwork…

[Bruyere]

I love the spellings for Indy's sneezes.

On 4/20/2016 at 11:52 PM, RiversD said:

His nose hadn’t been half so sensitive before he broke it (well, had it broken) over the summer. Still, that was the price you paid if you were going to do your own fieldwork…

Hee!