Bits and Pieces (Rivers' short fanfics, updated 09/06/18)

[sapphiremint]

ahh more indiana jones <3 lovelovelove. tyty. harrison ford's nose doesn't get enough torture. your writing is perfect as always

[RiversD]

@Bruyere Your comments always make me so happy, I swear. And thank you for telling me when sounds/sets of sounds work, I always appreciate reassurance/concrit on that front.

@sapphiremint Once you've thought about Indy like that, the thought doesn't let you go. I'm so glad you liked it!

 

 

Title: Irregularity
Character: Vision
Fandom: MCU, Avengers
Tags: illness (suspected)
Authors Notes: set between Avengers: Age of Ultron and Captain America:Civil War.

 

“Wanda?”

Wanda looked up from her reading, and set the book aside as the Vision glided through her closed door into the room. She decided not to make a fuss- at least this time he had announced his presence before entering.

“Oh, hey Vis. Is something u- going on?”

“I was hoping you would not mind provisionally cancelling our plans for this evening. I’m afraid I have to spend some time in the laboratory. I’m not certain how… long it will take.”

Wanda hadn’t missed the pause in Vision’s usually regular speech. And unscheduled lab time usually meant some pressing threat. “Is something wrong, Vis?”

Vision shook his head slowly. “Nothing that I consider serious. But something does seem to be interfering with my organics. I should- oh, excuse me one moment.”

He paused, eyes closed, face still and so smooth that Wanda wondered briefly if he was switching off, or rebooting. He was part-computer, after all. Then his face scrumpled up in a fashion almost painfully human, and his body jerked with a sudden expulsion of air.

“uh’tssch!”

Wanda froze, trying to process what she had just witnessed. It had… looked like a sneeze. The way Vision was touching the edges of his nose as he straightened up hardly contradicted that idea. Still…

Vision cleared his throat. On any other day she would have thought it an affectation, designed to make the humans around him more comfortable, but now she wasn’t so sure.

“I apologise, Wanda. My control over the sneezing is unusually limited.”

Well, that confirmed that. Of course, Vision was partly organic, theoretically she had known he must be capable of such things. Wanda pulled herself together to respond to him.

“I don’t mind. Is that the problem with your organics? Sneezing?”

 “Yes. It keeps happening. Also, I am experiencing heightened pressure in certain cranial areas…” Vision’s hand drifted in vague indication across his temples. Wanda frowned. If it were anyone but Vision, she would have been much more confident in her diagnosis, but for his sake, she made it a question.

“You are not coming down with a cold, are you?”

Vision tilted his head at her, as though he found the suggestion interesting. “My organic tissue is synthesised. It should not be susceptible to such things.”

‘Should not’ was a long way from ‘no’, Wanda decided. She smirked at him, feeling able to tease since he didn’t appear too alarmed by this development.

“Stranger things have happened, though. Last week, some of them.”

Vision nodded slowly. “I accept that. However, the occurrence of other unlikely phenomena does not affect the probability of this one occurring also. The laws of mathematics have not been recently altered.” Wanda considered this statement to be slightly undermined by the discreet sniff that followed it, one smooth nostril beginning to tic with unspoken irritation.

“Fine.” she settled back onto the bed and reached for her book. “But if it turns out you’re wrong, I happen to have a free evening. You can come complain to me if you like.”

Vision’s brow furrowed slightly, the stone set in his forehead making the movement seem deeply unnatural. Wanda thought it was endearing, more than anything else.

“I see no reason why that would be necessary.”

“If you’ve managed to catch your first cold? You’ll complain.”

“Well, you are the greater authorit- iissch’uh!” Vision rocked back from that one with genuine shock on his face. It was such an unusual look on him that Wanda started forward in concern.

“Vis? Are you alright?”

“I… had no control.” Vision blinked and seemed to pull himself together. “I apologise. I had no warning of that.” He still seemed uncertain how to react. Wanda supposed it must be strange, for such an intellect to be betrayed by its body for the first time.

She knelt on the end of her bed and reached up to pat him sympathetically on the arm. “You get down to the lab. You know you’ll feel better about this once you know what it is.”

“I am hoping to achieve ‘feeling better’, by ridding myself of the irregularity.” Vision gave her a small, distracted smile. “But thank you.”

“Go. I’ll be here if you need- if you want to see me later.”

“Thank you, Wanda.”

[SpamKey]

Ohmigosh that was so adorable I love confused Vision and Wanda being so teasing-caring I love it

[darkness-is-the-light]

I never thought that I would enjoy Vision in a fetish sense, but your drabble is quite adorable. I'm glad someone finally wrote sneezy!Vision. I'd be glad to read more in the future. 

[RiversD]

On 24/06/2016 at 4:17 AM, SpamKey said:

Ohmigosh that was so adorable I love confused Vision and Wanda being so teasing-caring I love it

! Thank you!

On 24/06/2016 at 4:45 PM, Sophie83540 said:

I never thought that I would enjoy Vision in a fetish sense, but your drabble is quite adorable. I'm glad someone finally wrote sneezy!Vision. I'd be glad to read more in the future. 

Nor did I until someone on Tumblr appealed for it and got me thinking. And now I'm sitting here wondering if I have the courage for a sequel (mind you, if it takes as long as this one did, Infinity War will be out by then...). Thank you so much!

Wow, this one ran to well over 800 words, so I'm not certain it's a drabble in even the loosest sense anymore. Still, it feels weird posting it as an independent fic, so it can go here and like it.

 

Title: Delicate
Character: Remus Lupin
Fandom: Harry Potter
Tags: scent sensitivity, handkerchiefs, inducing.
Authors Notes: Set during Deathly Hallows, while Tonks is pregnant with Teddy. Text might be a bit big, but the formatting was fighting me, so I'm scared to alter it now.

 

“Tonks, I’m home,” Remus announced himself, knowing full well that Tonks would have known he was back from the moment he crossed their wards. Still, it was only polite to acknowledge the slim chance that she might not have been waiting up. He unlocked the bedroom door and stepped in.

Tonks was looking unusually domesticated, resting a book on her pregnant belly and ostensibly reading to pass the time until Remus got home. However, an observant onlooker- into which class Remus definitely fell- would see that she hadn’t got more than a few pages into it. As distractions from worry went, books had never worked well for Tonks.

She had obviously been making an effort to relax, though. She had her nightclothes on, her legs curled under the blankets, and a candle burning on the nightstand, making the room smell of honey and spice.

“What kept you?” She grinned up at him, defiantly projecting the image of a wife who hadn’t doubted he’d be back, no, not for one moment, and opened her arms for a hug.

Remus had taken barely two steps towards her when he faltered, his answering smile knocked off-kilter by a prickling discomfort that rippled up through his nostrils and set his sinuses jangling.

Tonks’ smile faded as fast as his own, and she sat up straighter, concerned. “Remus? What’s wrong?”

He held up a finger, wanting to reassure her, but not having the breath to spare before-

“hh’inschh! Sorry, just a- itschhuh!” he straightened up, blinking rapidly. “Sorry.”

“Bless you, Remus! Are you okay?”

“I think it’s the candle, but don’t-” Remus’ half-hearted entreaty not to disturb her comfort for his sake was summarily ignored. Tonks hurried to blow it out, swung her legs off the bed and leaned to thrust open the window, letting the cold air flow in to replace the heavy scent.

Remus sighed and came to sit beside her, as much to pre-empt her getting up as to benefit from the clearer air. She nuzzled her face against his shoulder, hair blushing into a deep, contented orange.

“I’d chase it out with a charm, but you know what I’m like with the domestic ones. I’m so sorry, love. I didn’t think they bothered you.”

“They don’t, usually.” Remus worried at the curve of one nostril with his thumb. “It’s just when the moon’s getting… my nose gets a little- oh. hh’sschuh! A little sensitive.” He finished lamely, fishing in his pocket for a handkerchief.

Tonks found one first, and passed it over. Remus murmured a hurried thanks as he tucked it around his twitching nostrils, sneezing twice more before he could even think about blowing his nose. Tonks rubbed his back and cooed while he did his best to collect himself.

“It’s really alright.” Remus insisted, as soon as he was sure enough of his breathing to speak. “It’s something I forget until it matters. How’s…”

His gaze slid from her face to her bump. Tonks pulled a face, mouth stretching comically out of shape before snapping back to something Remus would feel much more comfortable about kissing.

“Kicking like a mule. Apparently I was the same, so I’m fighting a constant urge to apologise to my mother.”

“Well, you’ll have the chance on- sorry…” Remus hurriedly brought the handkerchief back up, turning his head away just in time to avoid sneezing against Tonks.

“ih’tsschh! hh’tssch-uh! Gosh, sorry.”

Tonks tsked, and squeezed Remus’ shoulder in gentle reassurance. She knew by now that pointing out his tendency to over-apologise only made it worse, but that had been twice in three breaths. “It’s alright. I knew you weren’t going to beat that one.”

“Really?” Remus raised his eyebrows at her over the handkerchief.

“Yeah, your nose does this little flickery thing when it’s had enough of your stalling.”

“Flickery thing?” Remus lowered the cloth and stared at her with amused incomprehension.

“I don’t know how else to put it. It’s like this bit here goes…”

Before Remus could catch what she was about, she reached out to touch a point on the outer rim of one of his nostrils and vibrated her finger against it in demonstration.

Remus pulled away sharply, eyes watering as her touch disturbed the tentative equilibrium of his sinuses “Careful, tha- thahht’s…”

He turned his face away from her again and hovered in place, breathing heavily, until Tonks lost patience and extended her finger again.

“Like this, love.” She wiggled her finger against the same nostril until a choking gasp from Remus warned her to pull back and let him sneeze.

“hg’essSCHhuh!”

“Ooh.” Tonks ran a hand slowly down Remus’ back. “That was a big one. Sorry.”

Remus gave a shaky laugh, dabbing at the underside of his nose. “Be gentle, dear. I’m not sure I can take many of those.”

Tonks giggled in return. “I thought I was the one in a delicate condition?”

“Delicate is seldom the first word to enter my mind where you are concerned.” Remus kissed her cheek, then nodded to the bed at their backs. “But if you fancy being delicate together for a bit, I wouldn’t mind at all.”

 

 

 

[queenie]

*adorable*, truly. 

[RiversD]

On 14/07/2016 at 11:58 AM, queenie said:

*adorable*, truly. 

Thank you, you lovely person you.

Drifting back to Bond again...

 

Title: Perhaps the Fish
Character: Q
Fandom: James Bond (Craig Era)
Tags: cold(temperature), 
Authors Notes: I've lost track of how long this one's been sitting in my drafts for...

 

“Good god, you look like a drowned rat.”

“And you’re as charming as ever, 007. Thank you.”

Q shook himself off in the doorway, though it was more of a show of politeness than a gesture that could do any good. His clothes clung to every angle of him, glistening as he moved. Judging by the T-shirt, Bond guessed there would be a sodden jumper abandoned to one of the city’s many skips.

“When despatch said you’d had to divert, I didn’t realise they meant via a lake.”

“A river, actually. I’m told it makes a difference.” Q swept a hand down his face, pinching away some errant water droplets which had been creeping down his nose.

“To the fish, perhaps.”

“Perhaps. Now, can you show me what I’m here for? I’d hate to have ruined a perfectly serviceable outfit for the sake of small talk with you.”

“Q, I’m hurt.” Bond smirked at the dripping quartermaster, and tugged away the sheet covering a battered computer monitor and… a device.

“Ohh.” Q’s put-upon attitude dissipated almost immediately. “That is a nasty little doodad, isn’t it? Alright, move over, let’s see what we’ve got.”

He crouched down in front of it, sweeping his sopping hair back with one hand.

“Goodness, 007, I can see why you- oh, wait-”

He sat back, and Bond entertained the fleeting thought that he might somehow have cracked it already- or else that something had gone badly wrong. Then Q gasped, his upper lip curling back, and Bond caught a glimpse of neat, white teeth before they were hastily tucked behind a hand.

“ht’chssh!”

Q raised his head, frowning at the lapse, and seemed about to return to his task when his eyes lost their focus again. He ducked back into his hand with a second sneeze, escaping at a slightly higher pitch than the first.

“ht’schih!"

Bond clicked his tongue, mentally chastising himself for not considering that factor sooner. He ducked into the adjoining bathroom and returned with a fresh towel. “Here. You’ll catch your death, sitting there like that.”

Q laughed, and swiped the towel across his face. “I hardly think that’s likely, 007. But thank you.”

Hardly had he spoken when his face twisted with irritation once more, distracting them both. He kept the towel in place, burying his twitching nose in its folds as he sneezed.

“hdt’shih!”

“Doesn’t sound so unlikely from over here.”

“Oh, don’t pay attention to that. I’m slightly sensitive to changing temperatures, that’s all.”

“If you say so.”

“Honestly Bond, there are more important things you could be worrying about.”

[RiversD]

Another dunked-in-the-river drabble- started many months apart from the one above, if you'll believe that

More Cadfael, because I'm still in love and I don't care.

For those unfamiliar, consider this a brief window into the lives of a wily old welsh monk and his best friend, the young sheriff of Shrewsbury. That's basically all you need at this point.

 

Title: Victor's Reward
Character: Hugh Beringar
Fandom: Cadfael Chronicles
Tags: cold(temperature),

“Cadfael!”

On any other night, such a whisper from the dark behind him would have startled the old monk, but he had been expecting this one. Indeed, he would not have been tending his gardens so late had he not been labouring in hope of news. He did not leap from his task to welcome it, however- pretext or not, respecting these herbs now would make him a much happier man when he came to make use of them in maturity.

“Well met, Master Beringar.” He murmured in return. “What news from Shrewsbury?”

“The best of news.” Hugh’s voice betrayed his tidings almost before he gave them, so eager was he for Cadfael to share in his triumph. “They are all taken, and with no time to hide the spoils. Your Aldith will have nothing left to fear after tonight.”

At this, Cadfael did turn to face Hugh, astonished.

“All?” Hugh had triumphed beyond all expectation, if this were so.

“All.” Cadfael could not see the young man’s face clearly in the gloom, but he well knew the smile that would describe its master’s satisfaction with this night’s work. A man who took no small delight in justice, was Hugh Beringar. No small amusement, either, in surprising the expectations of an old man when he had the chance. As well he should- their ability to surprise one another was among the deepest foundations of their friendship.

“Harald ran us a merry chase, as you thought he might, but we have him with the rest, safely bound and on their way to answer to King Stephen’s justice.”

“Praise God!” Cadfael exclaimed, for the moment lacking further words in his relief.

“Well said, and Amen.” Hugh agreed. “In the morning, I can show you providence’s workings in more detail. But now I must be getting back, and unless I much mistake the hour, you are past your proper bedtime. You had better- hH’SCHihh!”

Cut off in the midst of his teasing, Hugh’s head snapped down against a hastily-raised arm and Cadfael, to his surprise, felt droplets of water strike the back of his hand.

“Hugh?”

“Forgive me, Cadfael.” Hugh recovered with a liquid-edged sniff. “I hardly felt it coming.”

That was often so with Hugh, Cafael knew. But that was not the source of his concern. He pushed himself to his feet.

“God bless you, truly. Are you-” In the dark, he had a hand on Hugh’s arm before Hugh sensed what he was about, and felt there what his own eyes had been unable to perceive clearly. Hugh’s sleeve was frigid and wet under his fingers.

“God’s wounds, man, you’re soaking!”

“I took a spill in the river during the fight.” Hugh explained, shaking himself free of Cadfael’s grip.  “Wet me through, but nothing so much as bruised- I got off lightly.”

“Don’t say so until you’ve dried out and found no trace of coughing or phlegm clinging behind.” Cadfael frowned at him, though the effect of it was lost to the dark. “It’s the creeping hurts that cut deepest, Hugh, you should know better than to stand about and let yourself freeze.”

“I’ll ride home straight,” Hugh tried to reassure him. “I only wanted to set your mind at re- heh- ht’SCHHhih!”

Caught by surprise again, Hugh clutched at Cadfael’s arm for support as the force of the sneeze bent him low towards the path. He seemed more than a little annoyed at himself on his recovery, but Cadfael noticed that he did not release his grip on his arm.

“If you ride in this state you’ll have your death before you’re halfway home. Come with me to the warming room, we’ll see if I can’t at least send you home dry-headed.”

“But that’s within the walls,” Hugh protested. “I had better not-”

“Hush, Hugh, do you think any within would turn you back, drenched as you are? But come, we should get you out of those wet clothes in any case. You can wear my spare habit, no-one will look too hard at this time of night. And any that might frown at it will be fast asleep, be sure.”

Hugh made as if to protest, but his breath was already jagging with the urge to sneeze again. He had its measure this time, and scrubbed the feeling into retreat with the back of his hand, but it put his resistance to rest all the same. He signalled surrender with a weak laugh and a shake of his head.

“My nose inclines to your opinion, Cadfael. This once, then, if you’ll lead.”

“Gladly.” Cadfael set an arm about his friend’s shoulders and led him through the dark gardens towards the cloister.

[Subtly Clashing Wishes]

Cadfael? Really? Oh, now I'm going to have to go back through your whole thread.  Wonderful drabble. Which of the lovely Hughs are you thinking of? 

 

[RiversD]

43 minutes ago, Seeking Clarity + Wisdom said:

Cadfael? Really? Oh, now I'm going to have to go back through your whole thread.  Wonderful drabble. Which of the lovely Hughs are you thinking of? 

 

*smushes you in surprised happiness that someone else is interested in such ramblings* I'm going off bookverse Hugh Beringar, since I haven't really seen much of the adaptations (I'll get round to it, I swear. I think I'm scared of them not measuring up to my love of the books), but you're welcome to put whichever face to him pleases you most.

[Bruyere]

On 8/14/2016 at 10:04 AM, RiversD said:

Hugh made as if to protest again, but his breath was already jagging with the urge to sneeze again. He had its measure this time, and scrubbed the feeling into retreat with the back of his hand, but it put his resistance to rest all the same.

Ah, this is lovely! And more Bond and Q, yes!

[Subtly Clashing Wishes]

@RiversD I've read a couple of the books and watched all of the TV shows. I really liked Mystery!:Cadfael. Derek Jacobi was wonderful as Cadfael. I think they had 3 actors play Hugh Beringar throughout the series, but Sean Pertwee (yes, son Jon Pertwee of Doctor Who fame) was my favorite. 

[RiversD]

On 16/08/2016 at 1:46 PM, Bruyere said:

Ah, this is lovely! And more Bond and Q, yes!

Can't seem to leave those boys alone... And thank you so much!

On 20/08/2016 at 8:02 PM, Seeking Clarity + Wisdom said:

@RiversD I've read a couple of the books and watched all of the TV shows. I really liked Mystery!:Cadfael. Derek Jacobi was wonderful as Cadfael. I think they had 3 actors play Hugh Beringar throughout the series, but Sean Pertwee (yes, son Jon Pertwee of Doctor Who fame) was my favorite. 

It was a long road to Gotham for that man... the Doctor Who's seem to have made a good job of producing actorly offspring.

 

Title: Night Watch
Character: Illya Kuryakin
Fandom: The Man From U.N.C.L.E.
Tags: cold, illness, coughing mention.
Author's notes: another one where I had a scenario and needed a character to torture with it. Illya seemed to fit the bill, so...

Illya pressed his back to a handy wall, wishing, not for the first time, that there was such a thing as sick leave in the KGB. He probably wouldn’t have taken it even if such a thing had been offered, but there were times when it seemed as though a warm bed might be worth a small sacrifice of his pride.

Times like tonight, for example, when the rain was coming down in sheets that limited his vision to a few feet at best and his coat was rapidly becoming little more than a sponge, storing rain so that he could continue to be chilled even if he did find some shelter later on. Weather that did not bode well for a man already struggling against a cold in his chest, even if guard duty meant that he was unlikely to be called upon to prove his fitness tonight.

The persistent need to cough had faded as the night wore on, though Illya wasn’t certain that this was entirely a good thing. It had been replaced by a heavy clamminess in his chest that seemed determined to deny him the usual benefits of breathing. He felt as though his very blood was becoming sluggish, lurking in his veins to avoid contact with the frigid surface of his skin.

The inconstant wind made the rain seem to come from all directions, alternately sluicing and peppering his face and making his nose not so much tingle as ache with constant stimulation. Water everywhere, filling the world, all but silencing the city beneath its unrelenting assault.

He looked up, attention caught by a movement from the house. The minister had moved to the window and was watching the rain from the comfort of his living room, drink in hand. He should know better than to linger in the window with the light behind him, but Illya didn’t much care at this point. Any sniper who could shoot straight in this deserved to find his target. Or hers. If Pavlichenko was anything to go by, it was as much a woman’s field as any. Perhaps women had the patience for it.

He was rapidly coming to the end of his patience with his own body. His chest felt like somebody had slipped a lead weight into it, and that uncomfortable feeling in his nose was really not going anywhere. He inhaled sharply in the hope that this would encourage it to make up its mind. It did.

“hssSCHUH!” he sneezed, not bothering to cover his mouth- the rain was coming down so hard it likely wouldn’t make a difference either way. Besides there was no-one out here to offend.

Illya squeezed his nose between finger and thumb, achieving very little in terms of the wetness of his face, but measurably easing the discomfort of his nose. The slight numbness setting in as he froze beneath the flood was helping with that as well. Illya knew he would be paying in full for this night’s work once he got back to his lodgings and began to warm up. But that didn’t matter now. He would get through the night, do his duty as he always had. Tomorrow could worry about itself.

[queenie]

This makes me feel so tender. I've never seen this movie but I love 100% of the fic about it here. 

[RiversD]

On 11/09/2016 at 4:10 AM, queenie said:

This makes me feel so tender. I've never seen this movie but I love 100% of the fic about it here. 

This review makes me feel all warm inside. Thank you!

 

Title: In the Field.
Character: James Bond
Fandom: James Bond
Tags: allergies, hayfever
Authors Notes: Look, I finished a thing! Not what I meant to finish today, but it's been long enough since I last finished anything that I am still happy about it.

 

Bond was offline. Again. It was almost starting to become less of a serious concern and more of an irritating habit. Still, Q was pleased when his headset spontaneously sprang back into life with a rumble of static and half an expletive.

“-astard. Q, you still listening?”

Q adjusted his operations status to reflect this development, and replied. “You almost had us worried there, 007. Receiving you now.”

“Yeah, mic got dislodged. Is that tracking device of yours still working?”

“We lost signal just after your mic went down. I’m running a diagnostic now. Should have it back online in a jiffy.”

“Well, do it quickly. I need a pick up from the middle of bloody nowhere.”

“We had a few teams on standby in the region,” Q told him. “If you haven’t moved out of the province there should be someone within half an hour of you.”

“Good. I’m in the middle of a field near- hh’ETCHHuh! Oh f-ehTCHH! Hh’ETCHHHuh!”

“Bond?” Q frowned at his screen. That was unusual. And Bond had been in pretty good health two days ago… “Do you need the team to bring you anything?”

“There are two corpses here. They’ll… need to set up a perimeter. You could ask them to get me some ah- antihistamines.” Q could hear Bond’s breathing on the other end of the line, ragged and heavy. He pulled up a report form on his tablet and began typing.

“Understood. What are they growing there?”

“Crops of some sort. I don’t know, something with white flowers. Whatever it is, it doesn’t agree with me.”

“So I can hear. How bad is it?”

“Could be worse.” Bond cleared his throat loudly. “Don’t think it would normally hit this fast, but the crash churned everything up. I-ehtchhhuh!” The spray in that one was audible, making Q flinch at the sound of it next to his ear. Still, there were more important things to be concerned about in that sentence.

“What size of crash are we talking about, 007?”

“Helicopter.” The answer was curt, breathless. Still, it could be argued that it contained all that Q needed to know at this point.

“Ah. I can see where that might get messy. All those blades.”

There was a lengthy pause on the other end of the line, broken by a harsh burst of sound.

“h’khshht!” That sounded as though Bond’s body had tried to cough and sneeze at the same time. Not a comfortable experience, if Q was any judge. He heard a grunt from Bond which seemed to confirm this hypothesis, followed by a return to more even, if slightly laboured, breathing.

There was a rough, cloth-edged noise that Q guessed was the sound of Bond rubbing his face close by the mic, and the agent hissed in frustration.

“Ye gods, I can barely see.”

Q winced. That sounded pretty bad. He wasn’t sure whether he felt more sympathy for Bond or the poor sods on the pickup team. On the subject of which… he switched screens again as his computer gave him a very encouraging beep.

 “Oh dear. Still, if it’s any comfort, I think the tracking’s... yes, I’ve got you. Signalling the closest pick-up team now.”

“Great. If- h’hh!” Bond was cut off mid-sentence by a stuttering inhale that had Q tensing in anticipation, but the impulse choked out into a guttering sigh. Bond took a few beats to get his breath back before trying again, pronouncing each word carefully and deliberately.

“If they’re longer than half an hour I’ll have their damn heads.”

“I’ll advise them of that, though possibly using different words. In the meantime, I’d advise you to walk due east. It looks like that’s your nearest road.”

“Can’t be a worse idea than staying here.” Bond sniffed thickly and sighed. “Thanks, Q.”

“You’re welcome, 007. Do try not to asphyxiate en route, will you? It would make for a terribly embarrassing obituary.”

[Subtly Clashing Wishes]

I really like the scenario for this last one. Completely believable, in the Bond universe.  

[Shamaël]

I have just discovered this thread and, however I do not know all the fandoms, I love it ! Especially Fred and George (really funny!), James Bond (the last one is really amazing) and Cadfael (my God, I couldn't imagine someone would write for this fandom - I didn't even think the fandom existed...). Thank you!

[RiversD]

On 19/10/2016 at 11:58 AM, Sinister Cries + Wails said:

I really like the scenario for this last one. Completely believable, in the Bond universe.  

As so many things are. Thank you!

On 19/10/2016 at 8:01 PM, Aliena H. said:

I have just discovered this thread and, however I do not know all the fandoms, I love it ! Especially Fred and George (really funny!), James Bond (the last one is really amazing) and Cadfael (my God, I couldn't imagine someone would write for this fandom - I didn't even think the fandom existed...). Thank you!

Aw, thank you so much! It means a lot that you actually kept going with it. I am always surprised to find another person online who knows Cadfael- let alone in a smaller community like this- I was convinced it would just be me sitting here forcing other people to read about characters they had no idea about. Hello, and thank you again!

I'm trying to actually finish things I've started, so here's one salvaged from the document of half-written drabblings...

Title: Forgetful
Character: Sirius Black
Fandom: Harry Potter
Authors Notes: Returning to my headcanon that Sirius and Remus can both get a certain amount of sensory crossover from their more animal forms.

“Oh, for the love of-”

Remus looked up at the frustrated squawk from the kitchen and called out, smirking only a little, “Did you forget again?”

“Shut uh- uh’esSCHHah! sh-ih-ESSCH!”

“Bless you.” Remus got to his feet and strolled over to survey the damage from the kitchen doorway.

Sirius had retreated to the middle of the floor, both hands cupped over his face as his breath hitched and warped behind them. A pan of something spicy sat on the hob. Remus noted approvingly that Sirius had managed to turn off the heat before being completely overcome by his nose. Speaking of which…

“hh’ESSCHAH!” Sirius bent low with another snarling sneeze, his hair tumbling across his face in a ragged curtain.

“Bless-” Remus started, but Sirius wasn’t done.

“ISSCH! uh…heh-ErsSCHah! Merlin’s shiny left bollock.”

“...You. That bad, eh?”

Sirius flicked his hair back, annoyed. “Take a wild…huh…guess.”

“I’m not surprised. You changed back, what, twenty minutes ago? And you spent most of yesterday as Padfoot, too. Your nose must be about as sensitive as it gets.”

Sirius raised his head enough to scowl at Remus, though the irritated tears rapidly filling both eyes somewhat spoiled the effect. Besides, he was hardly able to hold the expression for two seconds before his control was snatched away once more.

“Smart ahrsCHxt! Oww…”

Trying to contain it had obviously been a bad idea. Tears spilled out onto Sirius's cheeks as he rubbed gingerly at the bridge of his nose. Remus sighed.

“Alright, alright. Truce. Want some help?”

Sirius nodded, still trying to placate his rapidly-reddening nose. “Can you open the wuh-window?”

“Not on your life. It’s full moon tomorrow, that stuff’s making my nose tingle from here. At least yours wears off.”

“Right,” distracted, Sirius left off badgering his nose long enough to look mildly ashamed of himself for forgetting that as well, which was apparently longer than his nose was prepared to tolerate. “hh’esSSCH! … sorry.”

“Don’t be, just… get out here and I’ll find you a cloth to wipe your eyes with.”

Sirius stumbled obediently towards the doorway, apparently not having considered just leaving the room until he was told to. Prat. “Thanks, Moony.”

“Don’t mention it.”

[Subtly Clashing Wishes]

23 hours ago, RiversD said:

headcanon that Sirius and Remus can both get a certain amount of sensory crossover from their more animal forms.

 

I love that head canon and I think it is perfect.  

23 hours ago, RiversD said:

Merlin’s shiny left bollock

Does he only have one? Oh dear... 

This was really funny and quite adorable. 

23 hours ago, RiversD said:

I am always surprised to find another person online who knows Cadfael- let alone in a smaller community like this- I was convinced it would just be me sitting here forcing other people to read about characters they had no idea about

So there are now 3 of us, including you. Does that mean we get more Cadfael? Oh, I hope so! 

[Shamaël]

On 25/11/2016 at 4:24 PM, RiversD said:

I am always surprised to find another person online who knows Cadfael

So am I !!!!! I haven't seen the TV show but I've read almost all the books (unfortunately some cannot be found in french and I am too slow when I read in english) and I think Cadfael is one of my favorite detectives. So if you wish to write another piece of sneezy Hugh, I'll enjoy it!!!  SCW agrees with me!!! (And if you want to do more James Bond, please please feell free to do so...)

On 25/11/2016 at 4:24 PM, RiversD said:

“Bless-” Remus started, but Sirius wasn’t done.

“ISSCH! uh…heh-ErsSCHah! Merlin’s shiny left bollock.”

“...You. That bad, eh?

Mwahahahaha!!! Love it! Sirius is nor my favorite character but it was really great (and I really liked the spelling). I really would like to know what would happen to Remus after his own transformation (I love Remus...).

[RiversD]

@Sanguine Cheerful Worrier Thanks! I love it when a headcanon sticks.

@Aliena H. Thank you! I played with Remus a little up thread, but I'm likely to come back to him. He's an easy target, poor man...

And thank you to both of you for your support of my Cadfael love. Don't worry, Aliena, I have not seen the TV show either, so anything that appears here is based off the books.

 

Meandering to a different fandom, here's a plotless little Stormpilot thing.

 

Title: Sharing
Character: Poe Dameron
Fandom: Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Authors Notes: Fevers, crying, etc. Poe and Finn sharing an illness in some little out-of-the-way medical facility.

 

Finn’s fever broke in the early hours of the morning. He woke drenched and trembling in the orange-tinted no-time of hospital night, sat up and began to weep. He wasn’t sure why he was crying, but there didn’t seem to be any sense in trying to stop, so he hugged his knees and sobbed until a hand on his shoulder startled him out of his bubble.

He looked round, brushing a blur of tears out of the way, and saw Poe Dameron’s worried face beside him.

“You’re crying.”

“Yeah.” Finn shook his head, trying to focus. Poe was shivering, his hand too warm against Finn’s skin. He was obviously still running a fever, his illness a few hours behind Finn’s in its development.

“Poe, you need to get back to bed.”

“but you’re sad.” Poe blinked up at Finn, distressed. “Why are you sad?”

“I-” not wanting to complicate matters further, Finn reached out for something that would make sense. “I think I had a bad dream.”

“Oh,” Distracted by this, Poe allowed himself to be manhandled back to bed, but when Finn tried to pull away he clung to his damp shirt and moaned, “No, stay. Tell me ‘bout your dream.”

“I don’t remember it.” Finn sat down on the edge of Poe’s bed to avoid being followed across the room again. “I woke up and I forgot.”

“Ohh. I get those. Those are messed up.”

Poe used Finn’s shirtsleeves to drag himself up and rested his cheek against Finn’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry your dream made you sad.”

“It’s alright, Poe. I feel better already.”

“Good.” Poe went quiet, and Finn was wondering if now might be a good time to extricate himself when he felt the pilot’s chest suddenly expand with a sharp, deep breath. He turned his head to try and see Poe, and found him with his mouth hanging open, the rest of his face slack with the slow prelude to a sneeze. He turned his face away from Finn’s at the last moment and sneezed towards the bedclothes.

“ektschh! ektshIH! essSCHIew! Oooh…” he slumped back heavily against Finn, tightening his grip on the other man’s arm. Finn shifted his position a little so that he was lending more support.

“You alright?”

“Mmm.” Poe murmured. “Dizzy.”

“Tell you what, why don’t you lie back down?”

“Nuh.” Poe sniffled. “My nose is running.”

“Okay, okay…” Finn stretched for the tissue dispenser and pressed a couple of sheets into Poe’s hand. “Blow your nose first.”

“Mmn-hmm.”

Poe leaned his head into the hollow of Finn’s shoulder and cupped the tissues to his nose. Finn rubbed his back as he cleaned himself up.

“Alright, buddy,” he said, when Poe seemed done. “Back to sleep now.”

Poe squirmed against his chest and made a small, petulant sound. Still, he had slipped halfway back to sleep already, so it was a simple job for Finn to guide him back down onto his pillows.

Poe clutched weakly at the front of Finn’s shirt.

“You’ll stay close?”

“Sure,” Finn conceded. After all, his own bedclothes were still damp, and they’d be cold by now… His shirt was getting pretty chilly too, so he pulled it off and slid into bed with Poe, who shuffled over to allow him room. “I’ll stay.”

[Zwee]

Hhhiiiii I'm so into this. This whole thread really, with its HP, Marvel, Welcome to Night Vale, freakin Pushing Daisies!?!? And your gorgeous headcanons that are so well-realized. Not to mention all the fandoms I'm not super familiar with but read and loved anyway because your writing style is incredibly appealing and we obviously have similar taste in characters. But like, this Poe drabble is killing me.

I just re-watched Star Wars TFA last night for sad reasons and by the end was on a hunt for some TFA sneezefic and Poe is my absolute fave. And you have Poe's and Finn's little colloquialisms and traits down and like... how? Because they had all of like 4 scenes together in the actual movie (cry) but you've got them down. And they're both so  feverish and so beautifully pathetic that it's bizarrely relatable to how wretched it feels to have a fever. Adorable. Really, really adorable.

I'm just really here for this thread and I can't wait for the possibility of more.

[RiversD]

On 30/12/2016 at 9:30 PM, Zwee said:

Hhhiiiii I'm so into this. This whole thread really, with its HP, Marvel, Welcome to Night Vale, freakin Pushing Daisies!?!? And your gorgeous headcanons that are so well-realized. Not to mention all the fandoms I'm not super familiar with but read and loved anyway because your writing style is incredibly appealing and we obviously have similar taste in characters

Aaaahhh! *frantic blushing* You're so kind and also *synchronised fandom fistbump* 'cause it's always good to find someone you share tastes with, especially in a smaller community like this one. Seriously, thank you, this review gave me all kinds of warm feelings.

On 30/12/2016 at 9:30 PM, Zwee said:

But like, this Poe drabble is killing me.

I just re-watched Star Wars TFA last night for sad reasons and by the end was on a hunt for some TFA sneezefic and Poe is my absolute fave. And you have Poe's and Finn's little colloquialisms and traits down and like... how? Because they had all of like 4 scenes together in the actual movie (cry) but you've got them down. And they're both so  feverish and so beautifully pathetic that it's bizarrely relatable to how wretched it feels to have a fever. Adorable. Really, really adorable.

I'm so happy, honestly, I'm so pleased this worked because it was one of those things that come half-formed into your mind late at night that you're kind of shy about sending into the world.

 

I'm going through my old notebooks, so here's a little Allergic!Finn thing I wrote on a bus one time.

Title: Voice of Experience
Character: Finn (FN-2187)
Fandom: Star Wars: The Force Awakens

“heiss’choo!” Finn sneezed for what must have been the fiftieth time in the last quarter of an hour, and groaned. Poe smiled sympathetically across at him.

“If it’s any consolation, you do have a very nice sneeze.”

“Nice?”

“Well, easy on the ears.” Poe leaned back against the sun-warmed rock. ”Try and relax. The meds should kick in soon.”

“Okay.” Finn sat back as well, scrubbing the back of his hand against his reddened eyes.

“And try not to rub your eyes so much.”

“Itches,” Finn complained, squirming his nose for emphasis. Or perhaps not purely for that. His eyes lost focus, then screwed shut as he sneezed towards his knees.

“hh’ikhs’choo!”

“Bless.” Poe laid a friendly hand on Finn’s shoulder. “I only meant that everything itches for longer the more you rub at it.”

“I might be willing to take that chance,” Finn grumbled.

Poe sighed. “You’ll regret it. Trust me on this.”

“Voice of experience?”

Poe thumbed his own nose, as though the recollection was enough to set it itching again. “Ugh, yes. I’ll tell you about it once we’re back on the ship. Horror stories.”

“Why not now?”

“Don’t want to make you think about it more than you already are.”

“Oh. Fair enough,” Finn agreed, but added, “If you want to distract me, you could finish telling me what happened on Rodia. You got interrupted last time.”

“Alright.” Poe tipped his head back against the rock and closed his eyes. “Obviously, once we realized the crevasse was a trap, there wasn’t much time to make a decision…”

The sun beat down as he continued his story, interrupting himself at ever-increasing intervals to bless Finn. All in all, they had both spent much less pleasant afternoons in their time.

[Winged]

Ahh I love your Stormpilot drabbles! You write them both so well, and the atmosphere is always so tender and warm. I especially love the last one - I'm a sucker for two characters commiserating about allergies together, heh. Lovely work!

[Zwee]

Quote

“If it’s any consolation, you do have a very nice sneeze.”

Um, yeah! He does! That spelling is gorgeous, plus completely fitting for Finn. I can just hear it.

Also! Sweaty heat allergy misery! And! Distraction from allergy misery by telling an exciting story! Perfect. Plus there's something ridiculously endearing about Poe acknowledging every single one of Finn's sneezes that's just making me smile.

Btw I totally write sneezefic on buses too. (Well, I write it in my mind) Thanks for this loveliness!