what's your sexuality?

[PuddinPop]

My sexuality is a soggy box of horrors I was having this discussion with BlackScatter a few nights ago, actually so it's nice to see a thread made.

If someone wanted to slap a label on me then I would identify as a pan ace. I am attracted to people regardless of their past or current genders.

However, there are some anomalies within the confines of these labels. I'm an ace who has and enjoys physical relationships. It's just... not an inportant thing for me? Like, I never crave it nor want it and certainly never ask for it. But when it happens, it is enjoyable. If I were to be told that I could never be intimate with someone again then I wouldn't even bat an eye. I am 100% more committed to other aspects of relationships - companionship, being together, doing things together, connecting on an emotional level. I cannot have intimacy without any of the above. I also cannot be intimate with someone who I have no emotional connection to.

As for the pan side of me - WELL! I am attracted to all genders, BUT I am only sexually attracted to males. I have had girlfriends in the past but it wasn't a physical relationship, just emotional/romantic. I have had several sexual relationships with men and I have been sexual with a woman before, but now that I'm older, I've realised that I could only be intimate with a man, yet I could have a very happy relationship with a woman but without the intimacy.

I have no idea if any of this even makes sense. Luckily, I'm not someone who desires a label - I understand completely those that do, but I don't label myself. Having a label wouldn't change how I feel or anything else so I'm happy just being what I am

[Dusty15]

I generally identify as straight, although I have not been in many relationships (and none long-terms) so I consider myself remaining open to attractions of all kinds. While I've only acted on sexual feelings towards men and those feelings have been my primary ones, I have explored mental fantasies towards women (although those are primarily on the spectrum of the fetish…..so my fetish is a bit more bi-leaning than I am in vanilla relations!)

[Joal 555]

I feel very boring compared to most others, but I'm straight and that's it.

I have only ever had feelings towards women, whether it be about the fetish or in respect of relationships.

[Anonymouse]

I would identify as pansexual. I've never had a relationship with someone outside the gender "binary" (male or female) as far as I know, but I've always been open to it. Not as interested in the sex as the relationship as a whole. I've been in love with men and women and am currently engaged to marry a man... however I'd also be open to taking on a third female member of the relationship. Best of both worlds and all that.

[darkness-is-the-light]

For the past few years, I have attempted to figure out my sexuality despite being very young. It seems as if I am bisexual, though I become attracted to most people (male or female) after forming an emotional bond with them. I find that a bit strange, but you never know what it could mean.

[Leafeon78]

Don't know what I am I'm only 16 but I like girls and boys I have feelings for both.

[truth]

For the past few years, I have attempted to figure out my sexuality despite being very young. It seems as if I am bisexual, though I become attracted to most people (male or female) after forming an emotional bond with them. I find that a bit strange, but you never know what it could mean.

I may not be understanding you, but if you're looking for a word to describe how feelings develop after an emotional bond is formed, you might use 'demisexual' or 'demiromantic'. You can look up those terms for more information.

[Icarus Rex]

I'm pansexual, as well, but will self-identify as "bisexual" if I'm not in the mood to explain the former, since "bisexual" is more widely understood and can pretty much be used interchangeably, for the reasons that Murphy and Junia have already explained. I think I actually use "queer" more often than anything, at this point, since it feels the simplest and most all-encompassing, to me.

While I'm capable of being romantically/aesthetically attracted to all manner of folks, I'm also in that grey area that a lot of fetishists inhabit where I'm definitely not strictly asexual, but only incidentally interested in conventionally sexual relationships, with a few exceptional... exceptions.

I could probably be more specific, considering how the terminology has expanded, but I'm not particularly keen on affixing overly-precise labels to myself, since my experience of sexuality has always been very fluid. It is certainly helpful in finding like-minded people, if you have a neat word to call yourself, but labels can be restricting, too, especially if you're still feeling things out, or if your experience just happens to be too ambiguous to name. Any and all of that is okay.

[Sneezypanda]

I don't know a whole lot about my sexuality, or sexuality in general . I just know I'm attracted to men and women , and people. I suppose for right now bisexual pretty much sums it up, but I'm not opposed to anyone gender fluid , or trans. Maybe I'm pan then? Pan-curious ? XD

[sneezingbeauty]

i am so confused about my sexuality, but thats probably because i have never been in a relationship i am physically more attracted to women i think, but i would like to be in a relationship with a man so idk:/ i am pretty open to both but i don't really have strong sexual desires for either. although i'm pretty sure i'm not asexual as i have had a fair amount of sexual dreams lol i like the idea of sex but have never been sexually attracted to anyone:L

[Klingon]

^{what I'm about to say may offend a lot of you but that is not my intention! what I am about to say is solely my own opinion and I'm not trying to suggest that any-one else has to agree with me or think the way I do but...pretty much I'm ... well... anti-sexual (in the physical act between two people regardless of "bi", "straight" or "gay/lesbian" for me the closest thing I could relate it to for me is the incredible feeling in the moment when you leave an plane with a parachute on you back (High Altitude Low Opening (HALO) style parachuting) in the moments between the instant of stepping through the door until the moment the chute opens. for me THAT is sex!. I've had sex twice and that was 2 times too many for me! again that's just the way I feel I'm not trying to tell any-one how they should feel/ live just stating my own view! I mean no insult or offense to any-one!}

[Sitruuna]

I usually say I'm asexual because that's nice and simple but it's hardly true. I obviously do feel sexual attraction but it never manifests as a desire to do anything sexual. So I might look at people and think "wow that person is attractive" but my only reaction is to wonder how great it would be if they got sick. I'm not sure though if I've ever actually met a real person who I'd find attractive in that way, lol

Anyway

Too much unnecessary explaining

Again

I'm mainly into men what ever that would make me.

//oh right

pansexuality is real and valid.

[Shylurker68]

Bi/ Gray-ace myself.

I'm sexually attracted to one human of all the many humans that I've met. I tend to be more into androgynous types and femme folks. Go figure! *shrugs*

[SomethingClever]

Pan... hearts not parts y'all

[BananaTree]

Straight lol cuz I'm boring....

[Aranea]

I identify as bisexual, as that term has the longest history behind it of being down to date all genders, and a lot of the literature for the history of dating people outside of the gender binary is under that. However, I prefer the term queer, because it lets me be what I am comfortable in the moment, and feels much more honest. If I'm in men this week, and only men, I'm still queer. If I'm into only women, I'm still queer.

Also, my comfort with sex is pretty low - without going into too much detail, it's not a huge deal for me, and I'm not big on it in relationships. I'm not demi, I'm not ace, there doesn't seem to be a term for someone who likes sex maybe sometimes, but isn't hugely passionate about it. As is, my friends have started a rumor I'm ace, so #whatever.

So I might look at people and think "wow that person is attractive" but my only reaction is to wonder how great it would be if they got sick

That is so ME. Haha, but I won't take care of my sig. o for fear they won't like it. And I hate people taking care of me!

[Hovercuke]

Hi, I'm a greysexual lesbian.

Also, my comfort with sex is pretty low - without going into too much detail, it's not a huge deal for me, and I'm not big on it in relationships. I'm not demi, I'm not ace, there doesn't seem to be a term for someone who likes sex maybe sometimes, but isn't hugely passionate about it.

You might want to look into the terms gray/grey sexual or sexualish.

ETA: agh, sorry that quote didn't turn out right.

[Aranea]

Hi, I'm a greysexual lesbian.

Also, my comfort with sex is pretty low - without going into too much detail, it's not a huge deal for me, and I'm not big on it in relationships. I'm not demi, I'm not ace, there doesn't seem to be a term for someone who likes sex maybe sometimes, but isn't hugely passionate about it.

You might want to look into the terms gray/grey sexual or sexualish.

ETA: agh, sorry that quote didn't turn out right.

I've looked into it? And IDK, it just doesn't seem to fit. To me, it's actually not a big deal. BFF is ace, other BFF is Christian and only interested in sex for reproduction, so it's not like a huge issue with my besties, and I personally just don't care. The only problem comes when other friends start telling my GF that I'm ace, when...that's not the case, or when my ex-boyfriend tells my friend (his new GF) that I wouldn't put out. I don't like people gossiping about my label or lack thereof, but otherwise it's just - me. That's just who I am.

[Heavy-Chevy]

My situation is a bit complicated and I'm not sure what label I would fall under. I do remember reading an article once where somebody did have a label to describe people like me but I don't remember it off the top of my head. If I find it, I'll post it here. Anyway, I'm attracted to both genders so naturally you'd think that I would simply label myself bisexual. However, the thing is that while I enjoy erotic material, I don't have any interest in actually having sex with anyone. If I see an attractive man or woman in public, I can appreciate those moments but again I have no desire to persue any physical relationships. In fact, I've only had one sexual encounter in my whole life so far and it didn't do much to change my interest in this area. I could say that I'm asexual but since I can still become aroused by porn, I don't think that label would apply either. So honestly, I'm not really sure what to call myself.

[MyOwnPrivateSFC]

Heavy-Chevy, I think the word you're looking for is autosexual or autochorissexual.

And, ditto.

[Sitruuna]

Hi, I'm a greysexual lesbian.

Also, my comfort with sex is pretty low - without going into too much detail, it's not a huge deal for me, and I'm not big on it in relationships. I'm not demi, I'm not ace, there doesn't seem to be a term for someone who likes sex maybe sometimes, but isn't hugely passionate about it.

You might want to look into the terms gray/grey sexual or sexualish.

ETA: agh, sorry that quote didn't turn out right.

(I had to fix the quotes, sorry)

I don't know if this suggestion was directed at me, too, or only at Aranea (since Aranea's quote of my post was quoted?) but I'm familiar with (most of) the various labels that now exist and no thank you. Aside from the people who use the labels not seeming to know what they actually mean by them none of them actually feel right.

[Heavy-Chevy]

Heavy-Chevy, I think the word you're looking for is autosexual or autochorissexual.

And, ditto.

Thank you, myownprivatsfc! Autochorissexual definitely seems to describe me spot-on.

[Sawyer]

The only sexual attraction I feel is for the fetish, and I like all genders equally when it comes to that (maybe women and androgynous-presenting individuals slightly more, since I'm less picky when it comes to them).

Romantically, though, I'm mostly interested in male presenting/identifying people. Since that's the only outwardly applicable part of my orientation (I'll never be with someone of my same gender, so I'll never face prejudice/discrimination based on my preferences), I identify as straight. I used to feel like it was super complicated, but honestly, "straight" just fits best and feels least appropriative, despite my complicated inner feelings about it. Those are more personal anyway.

I used to identify as asexual, but I feel like that's irrelevant since I do get into relationships with men and I don't have trouble with sex itself. If my fetish spilled over into romantic feelings, I'd say I was bi, but since I'm not interested in having a sexual/romantic relationship with a girl, the label feels inappropriate.

[Aranea]

My situation is a bit complicated and I'm not sure what label I would fall under. I do remember reading an article once where somebody did have a label to describe people like me but I don't remember it off the top of my head. If I find it, I'll post it here. Anyway, I'm attracted to both genders so naturally you'd think that I would simply label myself bisexual. However, the thing is that while I enjoy erotic material, I don't have any interest in actually having sex with anyone. If I see an attractive man or woman in public, I can appreciate those moments but again I have no desire to persue any physical relationships. In fact, I've only had one sexual encounter in my whole life so far and it didn't do much to change my interest in this area. I could say that I'm asexual but since I can still become aroused by porn, I don't think that label would apply either. So honestly, I'm not really sure what to call myself.

My situation is pretty similar to yours - I've had sexual encounters and my feelings about them were "meh". I'm willing to try again, if I really trust someone/get drunk enough/whatever, but I just don't really care? If I really like someone, I'll do basically whatever to please them, (but I rarely like people that much)

But I adore reading fanfic smut.

Heavy-Chevy, I think the word you're looking for is autosexual or autochorissexual.

And, ditto.

I've never heard of these terms, but I'm going to look them up now. EDIT: Oh my God that's me. But I'm not going to tell anyone that, because HOLY SHIT would it come off poorly. I think my friends would tell me I'm just too stuck up.

Hi, I'm a greysexual lesbian.

Also, my comfort with sex is pretty low - without going into too much detail, it's not a huge deal for me, and I'm not big on it in relationships. I'm not demi, I'm not ace, there doesn't seem to be a term for someone who likes sex maybe sometimes, but isn't hugely passionate about it.

You might want to look into the terms gray/grey sexual or sexualish.

ETA: agh, sorry that quote didn't turn out right.

(I had to fix the quotes, sorry)

I don't know if this suggestion was directed at me, too, or only at Aranea (since Aranea's quote of my post was quoted?) but I'm familiar with (most of) the various labels that now exist and no thank you. Aside from the people who use the labels not seeming to know what they actually mean by them none of them actually feel right.

Yes, that. Seriously. And there are just SO MANY. I'm really, really happy with queer because A) umbrella term, and amazingly it's no one's business but mine. I'm happy to chat about it, but labels seem to exist solely to make other people comfortable with you? And not to make you feel comfortable with yourself. I don't want to break myself into pieces to fit in your boxes. I am many contradictory things, existing side by side. I will not be dissected.

[Satan]

I'm straight.

Yeah that's it pretty much