what's your sexuality?

[Hovercuke]

Aranea and Sitruuna, I didn't mean to offend you, and if I did, I'm really sorry. The way my mind works, I really like to have a word to explain myself, and I forget that other people don't necessarily prefer labels. I was trying to be helpful, but I guess it didn't turn out that way, so I apologize for any bad feelings.

[Aranea]

Aranea and Sitruuna, I didn't mean to offend you, and if I did, I'm really sorry. The way my mind works, I really like to have a word to explain myself, and I forget that other people don't necessarily prefer labels. I was trying to be helpful, but I guess it didn't turn out that way, so I apologize for any bad feelings.

You didn't at all! I'm sorry if I made you feel that way, I was just trying to explain my line of thought, though I realize typing tends to convey less emotions than every other form of communication.

I appreciate your help!

For me, it's fun and interesting to chat about, just settling on a label doesn't feel right. I do like knowing their are options though.

In short, I'm sorry you thought I was offended, I absolutely am not, and I have really enjoyed speaking with you about this! No bad feelings at all. :)

[Kaze Wo Hiku]

Ok here goes.

In basic terms I'm Hetero, I'm attracted to guys, always have been. I do find some women extremely attractive, like I joke I'd turn for Famke Janssen. But honestly I'm more asexual in terms of "lack of sexual interest". That doesn't mean I don't get turned on by things, I just...it's hard to describe honestly. I didn't even know the term existed until a few years ago and I was like...hmm I can relate to that. Like I'd much rather watch two people engage in something then do it myself. Probably why I like shounen-ai so much.

Funny part is I'm married and have kids. It took a while but my hubby did finally figure out that sex wasn't all that appealing to me. I've never told him that I identify more with being asexual but we were able to work something out so I'm not leaving him high and dry all the time.

[PuddinPop]

I think it's fairly common to be an ace and have kids (coming from an ace with a daughter). I can identify with what you're saying completely, kaze wo hiku. I don't particularly enjoy sex most of the time and I never, ever crave it or wish for it but that's not to say that I don't get aroused by things.

The fetish is a huge thing for me because I find conventional sex very unappealing in terms of arousal, whereas with the fetish, it's not that difficult

[Kaze Wo Hiku]

I don't particularly enjoy sex most of the time and I never, ever crave it or wish for it but that's not to say that I don't get aroused by things.

The fetish is a huge thing for me because I find conventional sex very unappealing in terms of arousal, whereas with the fetish, it's not that difficult

I completely understand, it's really nice to know I'm not the only one who feels that way. I remember being in highschool and exploring with my boyfriend at the time and I was such a prude since I had no idea what to do and he gave me a book and I was like...oh god, no, yuck. I kept thinking, well maybe when I'm older I'll enjoy sex. I just kept waiting...never really happened.

[Guest]

Sexual orientation has always been something that has boggled my brain. Obviously, I understand what differentiates one preference from another, but when it comes to labeling myself I find that I am unable to do so. For the majority of my life I believed that I was only into males seeing as all of the crushes I had had during my early years were on them. However, my feelings changed when I hooked up with my first girlfriend. I "wanted" her, and believed that the feelings I had had for those before her were merely delusions of mine. After we parted ways I lost my desire to show affection even by means of something as simple as cuddling, so I thought that perhaps I really was asexual. I had relationships and flings after that relationship; all of which involved men. I discovered that in terms of sexual attraction I could only get behind their face, torso, and stomach; I did not want anything to do with what determined their sex. It has been years since I have been involved with another, so I honestly haven't the faintest inkling if things have changed on that front.

[Sophie<3]

I'm straight. I find guys attractive. Want to be with one. Am attracted to 'em sexually.

Occasionally, I find a girl really attractive. But as a result, I never really think "Dayum, she's fine, I want to be with her" or anything like that. It's almost always along the lines of "Ohh my gosh, I want to look like her/ be her!"

In the past, I've briefly wondered whether I might be bi, but I'm pretty sure I'm straight. Because I always want to be the girl in the relationship. And also in bed. Like, I feel that it's my role, so I can't really imagine being with another woman. (To be honest, I even feel like if I was to ever date a girl, I'd be super competitive and try to be more feminine than her, which probably sounds really stupid... But it's true.)

[Evilduckling108]

Hi there! Your friendly neighborhood lesbian popping in to say hi.  I struggled a lot with my sexuality early on in high school with a lot of ingrained heterosexuality and all that, but I eventually realized that I'm pretty much solely into girls. (Sebastian Stan and Steve Rogers (not Chris Evans though! it's weird) are basically the only two who would theoretically toe the line of an exception, but it's never gonna happen, so I'm just a pretty femme lesbian. It was a big deal because I really wanted a label (and there's a HUGE difference between labeling yourself and getting labelled by someone else!), but I'm just really glad that I've figured it out and made my peace with everything and I can be happy with who I am and who I love.  

[Anonymouse]

I consider myself bisexual, possibly pansexual? As for sex I could live without it but I see it as a nice way to connect with my partner (and good exercise :zippy:)

[Cutelittlenose]

I'm heterosexual. I'm a huge believer in waiting until marriage to have sex, but I also believe the act of sex is not necessary to have a fulfilling life. The potential dangers outweight the positive effects. 

Negative: STDs, STIs,Complications from Pregnancy/birth, drama

Positive: Kids/Pregnancy, pleasure

Neutral: Not needed to mean you have fulfilling life. If you're going to school/college, want to have a career, are underage, or are unsure about your relationship, it is best to wait. Always remember to have safe sex if you choose to do so, everyone.

PSA over.

[bloom]

4 minutes ago, Cutelittlenose said:

I also believe the act of sex is not necessary to have a fulfilling life

Maybe this is true for you, but there are plenty of people in the world for whom sex is a very emotionally fulfilling to share with their partners and enrich their life. If that's how you feel, fine, but maybe try not to make such broad, sweeping statements, because they do not necessarily apply to everybody. People define fulfilling by their own yardstick.

[Spoo]

I identify as a panromantic demisexual. I'm romantically into men, women, and nonbinary/agender/genderfluid etc. Sexually, I have to have a deep emotional connection with the person that tends to take several months/years. Until that emotional connection is made, I'm pretty much an asexual.  

[Cutelittlenose]

13 minutes ago, Junia said:

Maybe this is true for you, but there are plenty of people in the world for whom sex is a very emotionally fulfilling to share with their partners and enrich their life. If that's how you feel, fine, but maybe try not to make such broad, sweeping statements, because they do not necessarily apply to everybody. People define fulfilling by their own yardstick.

Sorry...I didn't mean it that way. I'm really sorry if anybody took offense. Yes, sex is a greatly emotional thing. And indeed sex and those partners people have greatly enhance life. But, for those of us where sex comes later, for example, I'm an abstinent young college student, can't this portion of life be enjoyed without sex?

By no means did I mean to somehow insinuate that sex was joyless, carnal, or not emotionally fulfilling...I just meant to say that sex isn't the only thing in life. There's so much more.

I'm sorry. Am I contradicting myself? ...I'm also a virgin, so I can't speak for experience. I'm sorry.

[James (ellamalaka)]

1 minute ago, Cutelittlenose said:

Sorry...I didn't mean it that way. I'm really sorry if anybody took offense. Yes, sex is a greatly emotional thing. And indeed sex and those partners people have greatly enhance life. But, for those of us where sex comes later, for example, I'm an abstinent young college student, can't this portion of life be enjoyed without sex?

By no means did I mean to somehow insinuate that sex was joyless, carnal, or not emotionally fulfilling...I just meant to say that sex isn't the only thing in life. There's so much more.

I'm sorry. Am I contradicting myself? ...I'm also a virgin, so I can't speak for experience. I'm sorry.

You're absolutely fine and don't let anyone bully you because you have respect for marriage bonds. Your views on sex are some of the most nuanced and mature I've read on here.

[bloom]

I wasn't offended, CLN, just pointing out that what you said doesn't necessarily apply to everybody. That's all!

[Cutelittlenose]

2 minutes ago, James (ellamalaka) said:

You're absolutely fine and don't let anyone bully you because you have respect for marriage bonds. Your views on sex are some of the most nuanced and mature I've read on here.

 

1 minute ago, Junia said:

I wasn't offended, CLN, just pointing out that what you said doesn't necessarily apply to everybody. That's all!

Oh, okay. Thanks, you two. I feel like I confused myself. Since  don't understand what sex is like, I can't share or understand most of what people's experienced. In books, sex can be described on two very different scales of rough and dirty to gentle and pure, as stereotypical, very simplistic views. It really is hard to understand something you've never experienced and thus can't relate to.

I feel embarrassed because of the topic and maybe a bit nervous in case I offended anyone. So, once more, I'm very sorry. I'm merely a virgin that hardly reads or watches anything with sexual content. So, I don't have much of an idea at all. Mostly just from "The talk" and health and sex education classes. 

[James (ellamalaka)]

1 minute ago, Cutelittlenose said:

 

Oh, okay. Thanks, you two. I feel like I confused myself. Since  don't understand what sex is like, I can't share or understand most of what people's experienced. In books, sex can be described on two very different scales of rough and dirty to gentle and pure, as stereotypical, very simplistic views. It really is hard to understand something you've never experienced and thus can't relate to.

I feel embarrassed because of the topic and maybe a bit nervous in case I offended anyone. So, once more, I'm very sorry. I'm merely a virgin that hardly reads or watches anything with sexual content. So, I don't have much of an idea at all. Mostly just from "The talk" and health and sex education classes. 

Assuming you're straight and want to marry a man this gives you extremely high sexual market value. You should hold out for a high earner. I've known women like this. One was a clinical psychologist. She's married to prominent attorney and politician now. Another one of my friends was the same and she married a professional golfer and is stupid rich now. Stick to your values

[bloom]

The idea that your sexuality has a dollar value is... questionable advice, to say the least. Rather than holding out for a "high earner," you're best just waiting until you're with somebody you're comfortable with and who respects your decision, regardless of their financial status. Yikes.

[Red Ring of Death]

In the long run, I've figured so far, it doesn't matter what my romance is because I'm asexual and I've yet to meet someone equally as repulsed as the act of sex as myself. Suffice to say... a looootta people don't really wanna wait that long, especially ones in my age range where men are stallions and women are "in their prime". That being said, I'm biromantic; I figure it wouldn't be hard for me to "love" someone regardless of gender.

Too bad humans are such tactile creatures and they wanna snuggle and kiss and all that gross physical stuff with body fluids and eeeech. Just my two cents. If you like it, maaaaan, go for it. More fun for everyone else

[James (ellamalaka)]

7 minutes ago, Junia said:

The idea that your sexuality has a dollar value is... questionable advice, to say the least. Rather than holding out for a "high earner," you're best just waiting until you're with somebody you're comfortable with and who respects your decision, regardless of their financial status. Yikes.

People of every economic status can respect that choice. Why shouldn't she get the best she can? I mean, money can't buy happiness but it can buy a lot of other things.

Would you rather be with someone you love (and loves you) driving an old clunker and living on the most basic sustenance OR be with someone you love (and loves you) while you dine in fine Parisian restaurants and stay in resorts? 

[Cutelittlenose]

18 minutes ago, James (ellamalaka) said:

Assuming you're straight and want to marry a man this gives you extremely high sexual market value. You should hold out for a high earner. I've known women like this. One was a clinical psychologist. She's married to prominent attorney and politician now. Another one of my friends was the same and she married a professional golfer and is stupid rich now. Stick to your values

 

15 minutes ago, Junia said:

The idea that your sexuality has a dollar value is... questionable advice, to say the least. Rather than holding out for a "high earner," you're best just waiting until you're with somebody you're comfortable with and who respects your decision, regardless of their financial status. Yikes.

 

4 minutes ago, James (ellamalaka) said:

People of every economic status can respect that choice. Why shouldn't she get the best she can? I mean, money can't buy happiness but it can buy a lot of other things.

Would you rather be with someone you love (and loves you) driving an old clunker and living on the most basic sustenance OR be with someone you love (and loves you) while you dine in fine Parisian restaurants and stay in resorts? 

Too much money seems excessive. I think being able to live comfortably, but with extra money for hobbies (traveling, reading, gaming, etc...) and donating to charities should be enough. Of course emergency funds are important, too.

For me, I'd just want to be with someone I love and respect and who loves and respects me back. I'm also physically disabled...and a lot of people don't want to date those who can't move normally. I'm only mildly disabled and can walk, but most people see anyone who is "disabled" as "beneath them."

[James (ellamalaka)]

9 minutes ago, Cutelittlenose said:

 

 

Too much money seems excessive. I think being able to live comfortably, but with extra money for hobbies (traveling, reading, gaming, etc...) and donating to charities should be enough. Of course emergency funds are important, too.

For me, I'd just want to be with someone I love and respect and who loves and respects me back. I'm also physically disabled...and a lot of people don't want to date those who can't move normally. I'm only mildly disabled and can walk, but most people see anyone who is "disabled" as "beneath them."

Well, it sounds like you've got an idea of what you're looking for. Make yourself available to those kinds of partners.

And by no means am I suggesting anyone marry for money.

[James (ellamalaka)]

5 minutes ago, Cutelittlenose said:

 

 

Too much money seems excessive. I think being able to live comfortably, but with extra money for hobbies (traveling, reading, gaming, etc...) and donating to charities should be enough. Of course emergency funds are important, too.

For me, I'd just want to be with someone I love and respect and who loves and respects me back. I'm also physically disabled...and a lot of people don't want to date those who can't move normally. I'm only mildly disabled and can walk, but most people see anyone who is "disabled" as "beneath them."

By the way, just based on what you've told me I'd date you. I'm by no means wealthy but I am a well-paid white collar professional. My life consists of spending time between major cities in the US and Europe, if that's your thing. =)

[Rook]

On 8/30/2015 at 11:58 PM, ukrsneeze said:

Hey!

I'm 16 so I'm not sure yet, but I just haven't found nothing attractive in girls, but in boys I have - It's sneezing .

I hope that I am bi, but.. As I've told to one guy who is much older here, he still hasn't found it, so I don't know.

And I hope that your family is not homophobic and everything will be ok

is this you irl cuz bro...yes<<<<<<<<<<<3

[Masking]

I'm bisexual, in a long-term relationship with a woman. I understand that some people like the Q-word, but I don't like to have it applied to me; I'm just plain old bi.