Guardian Angel (original fiction, M/M)

[Hedgehog]

Awww - what's wrong that Elias is so sick and doesn't get any better? The caring situations are all very sweet. So nice to see you writing again, Juto. 

[Arty]

*floating in the air* Adorable!!!!!!!!! Now im going to have this on my mind as my kids take a test.

[Subtly Clashing Wishes]

Catching up on three adorable installments! And you remembered Elias being allergic to spruce.  

I'm looking forward to more cuteness.  

[Juto]

 

On 9/17/2017 at 11:13 AM, helyzelle said:

How do you do it? They are just too cute! (No, not too much, please keep up the cuteness!) Each putting the comfort, needs and wants of the other over their own needs and desires. I love how Elias isn't comfortable until he accidentally lays his head on Zach, and he doesn't even realize it. And Zach finally gets what he wanted all along, to cuddle his sick angel! Awww!  I love these two!!

Awwww I'm so happy you love my little stubborn odd-balls when they adorably battle for their individual right to give and receive care

 

On 9/17/2017 at 11:48 AM, Hedgewitch said:

Awww - what's wrong that Elias is so sick and doesn't get any better? The caring situations are all very sweet. So nice to see you writing again, Juto. 

Thanks Hedgewitch (love the name btw!!) He is getting better, just very enjoyably slowly Thank you for being an amazing support, dear  

 

On 9/18/2017 at 6:33 AM, Arty said:

*floating in the air* Adorable!!!!!!!!! Now im going to have this on my mind as my kids take a test.

Haha well I guess it could be worse then? I Hope everything went smoothly. <3

 

On 9/20/2017 at 3:48 AM, Slithery Creepy Wyrm said:

Catching up on three adorable installments! And you remembered Elias being allergic to spruce.  

I'm looking forward to more cuteness.  

YAAAAASSSS!!!!! Thanks again for that glorious idea (and the ideas that followed *spoiler*) Thank you for your endless amount of love and support. I adore you!!! (and I can definitely promise cute to come).

 

 

Only 12 to go now. Getting closer.

Writing this, I realised I have an irresistible urge to see this couple happy and serene before I grow devil horns and write illness and allergy coming their way   So yeah, as always, i start by setting the scene. Also, I may or may not have a thing for describing Zach's hair??? I'm embarrassingly addicted to it, I guess. Huh, never really occurred to me before now. I apologise in advance for hair-rants.

 

 

Part 88 – Spring confusion

 

Zachariah had been giddily excited all morning, bouncing joyously from window to window, drawing back curtains to allow the warm rays of sunshine to greet his face. Spring was finally upon them and after months of staying indoors, either getting sick, being sick or recovering from sickness, Zach was determined to make the most of these first warm days of spring – regardless of other less enthusiastic opinions on the matter.  

 

In a quiet corner of the park, half hidden from view by a row of thick oak trees, but with enough distance between the tree tops to be fully exposed to the gloriously warm and welcome sunlight, Zach was currently sprawled lazily on the blanket covered grass, resting on his abdomen, using his arms as a makeshift pillow for his head while his knees were bent to allow his calves to cross and uncross in the air above him. He had his ear buds in his ears, chord connected to his phone on the blanket in front of him, next to his newly gifted copy of ‘Captive Prince’.

 

Elias knew there was no music playing in Zach’s ears, but it still served its purpose: any by-passers would see a single person laying on the big square quilt in a secluded corner of the park, talking to someone on his phone, when in fact, Zach was having a conversation with his invisible guardian.  

 

Elias was lying on his side, front turned towards Zach, fingers tracing lazy doodles over his neck, shoulders and lower back. Zach hummed contently and would start to wiggle impatiently whenever Elias’s attention was momentarily caught by something else and his fingers paused in their path.  

Elias would giggle an apology and continue his ministrations.

The sun shone brightly, its golden beams sending cascades of glimmered light through the air towards them. Elias’s breath caught in his throat as the sunlight brought out specks of Aztec gold and shiny copper in Zachariah’s thick crown of chestnut curls. It had grown a lot during the winter, now reaching his shoulders, but Elias couldn’t find it in his heart to cut it. It didn’t seem to bother Zachariah the slightest – the wretched ward had even discovered his hidden talent of pleading with Elias while peeking innocently up at him through his wild curls, all puppy eyes and pouty lower lip. A look Elias simply couldn’t resist – and so Elias only had to weigh his fondness for the current length against the way Zachariah could more easily have his way with him now. Roaming his hand through the silky curls, he couldn’t speak against his decision not to cut it. It was simply stunning. Strings of pure gold seemed to be woven into each curl and flickered when Elias ran a hand through it to muss it teasingly.

 

“Hey!” Zach protested, emerging with a splitting grin under a ridiculously tousled mop of hair to glare playfully at the empty air next to him. Elias couldn’t help grinning back. It simply wasn’t fair to stuff this much precious adorableness in a single vessel and pretend it was merely human. His breath caught when Zach ran his own hand through his hair to try and straighten it while his mischievous eyes bore directly into Elias’s invisible ones.

 

Mesmerised to the point of dazed, Elias didn’t see the retribution that came flying out of nowhere in the form of Zach’s hand which, upon impact with his own black, unruly hair, spread as much mayhem as it could before Elias caught it and with a playful growl tackled Zach on the blanket, drowning happily in the sudden burst of surprised laughter.

 

They both froze when a couple holding hands, whispering to themselves, strolled past them. Zach snorted and surrendered to a giggle once they had passed. “Not fair.” He whispered and nudged Elias off him. “You’re invisible. I am the one they will see and label insane.”

 

Elias giggled and helped Zach sit upright. “Well you are talking to an invisible, angelical being.“ He ran a hand through his own hair. “I think you actually managed to straighten my hair more than you succeeded in messing it up.”

 

“Well, I guess there’s a limit to its messiness.” Zach had resumed his prior position, belly down on the blanket, knees bend, feet in the air. Elias made himself comfortable beside him, close enough to discreetly fidget with the hem of Zach’s casual button down, peeking out under the light jacket he had managed to coax him into. His ward didn’t seem to notice or maybe he simply didn’t mind.

Zach closed his eyes and hummed appreciatively, as the sun warmed him and adjusted on the blanket, pulling his arms further up to rest his head on. His worming had exposed a slice of visible skin on his lower back.

 

Elias closed his own eyes so he wouldn’t focus too much on that patch of bare, pale skin. It was too easy to imagine how that smooth, sun warm and soft skin would feel under his fingers, how his hand could easily remove a bit more fabric, revealing more perfect and untouched skin, how his fingers could trace patterns on its surface while his lips-

 

STOP!

 

He forced the desire from his mind and focused only on the piece of fabric still clutched between his fingers. He was so absorbed in the feeling and the lingering daydream still playing on the inside of his eye lids that he almost didn’t catch the second of abrupt tension that made Zach’s body go rigid and the almost silent “g’nkt!” that broke the peace.     

 

Elias’s eyes flew open and focused instantly on Zach’s face. He was familiar enough with his wards tells to identify the squelch as a stifled sneeze, but nothing in Zach’s face indicated that anything was bothering him. He still looked blissfully tranquil, eyes bright and amused as he read.

 

Elias really ought to let it go. Really ought to let just this one tiny stifle slip past his protective instincts and let Zachariah have a day of peace and quiet without Elias constantly trying to-

 

“h’nxt!”

 

Elias forced a slow exhale, trying desperately to quench the urge to solve the mystery of whatever was obstructing Zachariah’s well-earned day of relaxation. Carefully, he searched his wards face, looking for any signs of discomfort that Zachariah was possibly keeping from him, but after minutes of silent, scrutinizing investigation, he came up empty. There was a small smile playing on Zach’s lips, almost as if the cheeky young man was finding something amusing. Elias hoped it was the book Zach was delighting in and not his guardian’s internal struggle against his character and judgement. Elias had decided to humour him and ask when Zach suddenly tensed again, tucking his head down between his arms with an amused sigh.

 

“n’gkt!”

 

The sound, even as small as that third stifle had been broke Elias’s feeble walls against his instincts. He sighed his resolve and stood.

 

***

 

Zach turned the page, uncrossing his feet absentmindedly in the air, letting the tale of the Captive Prince occupy most of his attention, leaving only a tiny corner of his mind focused on the way his angel’s fingers fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, mere inches from his bare skin. It was a little distracting and Zachariah had just decided to fake an innocent worming in attempt to connect their skin when suddenly the fidgeting stopped and the book he had just been reading was pulled away from under his hands and positioned over his head, blocking out the sun.

 

Zach turned, still focused on the book which hovered over his eyes only to expose them in full to the beaming sunlight a few seconds later. Zach’s hand flew up to protect his eyes, but the book was back already.

 

Zach groaned, rubbing his eyes furiously as black spots danced in his vision. “What did you do that for?” he demanded.

 

“Just checking for photic reflexes.” Came the pondering answer.

 

“Well, I don’t have them.” Zach supplied with a small shake of his head and an amused eye roll before reaching out to reclaim his book.

 

“Clearly.” Elias sounded confused. Zach smiled to himself. Apparently, his little ticklish outburst had confused his ever-worried angel. He wondered how far Elias would take this mystery.

The answer presented itself in the shape of a beautiful spring flower in full bloom, suddenly dangling right in front of him.

 

Zach raised an eyebrow, pursing his lips. “No hay fever, Elias.”

 

“Are you sure? You didn’t know about the sunflowers until you were exposed.”

 

Zach just shrugged, accepted the flower and the affectionate, old-fashioned kiss to his hand that accompanied it, with a chuckle and a gracious bow of his head before, once again, turning back to his book, the small delicate flower now gracing the empty blanket space beside him.

The flower was soon joined by many others, all different colours and distinct fragrances, all in turn dangling annoyingly in front of his face before Elias dropped down next to him with a frustrated sigh.

 

Zach giggled before abruptly turning into the crook of his arm with another small “n’xt!”

 

“Bless you. Is it me?”

 

Zach burst out laughing at the absurdity of the question. “Angel, I’m practically breathing you every single night.” He forced the blush away from his cheeks as he heard how it sounded spoken aloud. True or not, it still sounded a bit… uhm… strange. It’s not like they were a couple. Sadly. He couldn’t be blunt about his feelings like that couple that passed them earlier. “Don’t you think we’d know it by now if I were allergic to you?”    

  

“Well, there’s nothing else I can think of and it’s clearly not the sun or the pollen that’s bothering you.” Zach pictured him gesturing to the pretty bouquet by his hand. “Are you sure you’re not feeling under the weather?”

 

“I’m fine, angel. Really.” Zach laughed at the dejected hum he received in response. “The flowers are lovely. Thank you.” Before he could stop himself, he’d leaned in, touching his lips to soft, invisible and warm skin. He pulled back with a small cough, face burning, praying that whatever his lips had touched was not breaking the fine sharp line between the guardian-side of their friendship and whatever territory Zach wasn’t sure he could venture into, no matter the alluring pull.   

 

“I just don’t know what to do. How to predict what’s coming. How to help you.” The hand that wove gently through his hair, tucking a strand behind his ear told Zach his little surprise show of affection was at least forgiven, even if Elias still sounded distressed over his unsuccessful mission.

He shrugged.

 

“’Stop worrying’ would maybe be my best advice.” He finally closed his book, picking up his small bouquet with his other hand and left the blanket to Elias. Did it ever occur to you that maybe I just sneeze every once in a while, like normal people?” The blanket froze, mid-air, mid-fold and Zach started laughing. It was all too easy to picture the confused frown on his guardian’s face as the angel considered his words. “You’re incorrigible, Elias.”   

 

TBC…

 

[Subtly Clashing Wishes]

22 hours ago, Juto said:

Did it ever occur to you that maybe I just sneeze every once in a while, like normal people?”

Ah... No, it really hadn't.  

I hoped no one saw the floating blanket in the park.  

[Elyze]

I am so jealous of the warm spring sun. I want warm spring sun too!

On 10/8/2017 at 11:00 PM, Juto said:

the wretched ward had even discovered his hidden talent of pleading with Elias while peeking innocently up at him through his wild curls, all puppy eyes and pouty lower lip.

Hahaha, I can imagine...

On 10/8/2017 at 11:00 PM, Juto said:

It simply wasn’t fair to stuff this much precious adorableness in a single vessel and pretend it was merely human.

[Juto]

On 10/9/2017 at 9:21 PM, Subtly Clashing Wishes said:

Ah... No, it really hadn't.  

I hoped no one saw the floating blanket in the park.  

Haha I agree... Elias doesn't believe in random sneezes

Haha oh lord no, let's hope not (oops).

On 10/11/2017 at 6:53 AM, helyzelle said:

I am so jealous of the warm spring sun. I want warm spring sun too!

Hahaha, I can imagine...

I think Zachariah lives to tease the rationality out of his poor angel   little goof...

 

Right, back to misery.

The song used in this next piece is the glorious "Explorers" by Muse.

 

Part 89 - Midnight

 

 

 

The angel was immersed in his own world of midnight blue, cloudy grey and chestnut brown. He pursed his lips and drummed his fingers lightly against them as his trained eyes traced the blurry lines of colour, finding his creation wanting.

 

 

 

He needed more black.

 

 

 

He reached for the black pen and moistened the tip on his tongue before adding shade and black shadows to the ever smiling and intriguing pair of cloudy eyes that gazed up at him from the piece of parchment in his lap. He blew away any coloured dust left by the pencil before using his little finger to blur the brown colours drawn in soft curls framing the cloudy gaze.

Smiling slightly to himself, he added a delicate touch of pink to the cheeks and nose in the painted face. It resembled the softest of blushes that would always set the angel’s dead heart aglow with a strange and all-consuming fire.

 

 

 

A soft moan from the bed in front of him caught his attention. He looked up from his drawing at his ward who was nestled beneath enough light blankets to keep his shivers at bay. Tiny beads of sweat had formed at his temples and on his cheeks despite the cool cloth on his forehead. As Elias watched him, a painful frown lined Zach's face and another small whimper escaped him. Elias was on his feet, drawing carelessly discarded on the floor. He carefully lowered himself onto the bed next to his tossing and still whimpering ward who, from the look of it, was stuck in a fever dream. The hoarse whisper, that was all that was left of Zach's voice after the fever had raged in him for days, shouted words Elias couldn't make out. Zach's features constricted in pain as he drew breath for his next bout of voiceless screams. Elias could almost hear his sick lungs protesting. He had to pinch himself to keep from wailing in sympathy.

 

 

 

As carefully as if Zach was made of the finest and thinnest crystal, the angel placed a hand on his shoulder for comfort, but he immediately pulled it back as Zach protested voicelessly. The only reason the angel wasn't curled tightly against his ward on the bed was Zach's sore muscles and achy joints. It had started with a small wince when Elias had held him tight during his fever chills but had quickly escalated to the point where Zach nearly cried out in pain whenever Elias touched him. Even doped on pain medication, Zach hissed in pain at every touch. Elias had found the unintentional rejection almost unbearable. Not really sure what to do with himself, Elias had pulled the living room arm chair in next to the bed where he could keep an eye on his ailing ward from a pain free distance – at least where Zach was concerned.

 

 

 

Zach tossed once again, voicelessly crying out something Elias couldn't understand. Elias palmed his chest and pulled at his hair in frustration. He couldn't stand this anymore. Even dead, his heart was about to break into a million pieces.

When tears started streaming down Zach's cheeks in a steady flow the angel couldn't possible restrain himself any longer. How much more pain could he possibly cause his Zachariah? His ward was already in pain.

 

 

 

Carefully, Elias eased down into the bed and pulled Zach's burning and jerking body against his chest trying not to break down in tears as Zach screamed voicelessly and feebly tried to fight against the touch. Elias pulled the duvet between his own and Zach's body, hoping it would lessen the pressure without adding further weight.

 

 

 

“Open your eyes, Zachariah.” Elias shook his ward’s shoulder as gently as he dared, trying not to focus on the breath that hissed between Zach's teeth in pain. “Wake up, darling. You don't belong there. You belong here, with me.” He blinked back tears as Zach kept tossing and turning in his arms, screaming without a sound. “Free me from this, Zachariah. Free us. Open your eyes darling, please.”

 

 

 

Slowly, Zach's fighting arms and legs relaxed and the ward lay motionless in Elias’s arms. Elias sat completely still, afraid that even the tiniest of movements would cause Zachariah pain.

 

 

 

“Are you awake?” Elias kept his voice low to prevent his chest from moving too much.

A small sniffle and a light as air “yeah” sounded from his ward. Elias breathed a shallow sigh of relief but froze and glanced down in worry as Zach let out a small sob followed by another even thicker sniffle.

 

 

 

“Oh, Zachariah, darling…”

 

 

 

“N-no no… Ow, ow, OWW!” Even voiceless, the pain in Zach's words was clear. Elias immediately drew back upon realising that his arms had unconsciously wrapped themselves around Zach's frail body, squeezing him.

 

 

 

“Oh gosh! Sorry! Sorry!... Sorry.” Elias returned to his motionless state and kept his arms on his back behind his fluffy wings to keep them far away from Zach's sore muscles.

 

 

 

“M’sorry, angel. It just hurts.”

 

 

 

“Zachariah, shush!” Elias scolded affectionately. “Don't you dare apologise.” Elias felt the heat emanating from his ward as he allowed himself to let his hand caress the air inches from Zach's chest. “You're burning up. No wonder you have such vivid fever dreams. I only wish I could do more to make you feel better.”

 

 

 

“This is okay.”

 

 

 

Again, the unconscious rejection created a lump in Elias’s throat. What little he could do for his ailing Zachariah wasn't ‘wonderful’, ‘comforting’ or even ‘nice’, it was merely ‘okay’. Elias had to blink back tears before Zach could catch wind of how much it pained him. When was anything he ever did for Zachariah just ‘okay’? Elias searched his mind for things he could do.

 

 

 

Zach sniffled again and tried to wiggle his nose without moving.

 

 

 

“Can I get you a decongestant?”

 

 

 

“No thanks. Makes my nose runny.” Came the airy reply.

 

 

 

Right! Elias went back to thinking.

 

 

 

Zach coughed lightly and whimpered.

 

 

 

“Want me to rub some mint oil on your chest?” Elias tried.

 

 

 

“No. Makes me sneeze.”

 

 

 

Right! Elias removed the now lukewarm piece of linen from Zach's forehead.

 

 

 

“Another cool cloth?”

 

 

 

“No. You'd have to move.”

 

 

 

Right! Elias was at a loss, the lump in his throat was making it harder to contain his desperation.

 

 

 

“What can I do? Please tell me?” He could hear his own voice waver. An idea struck him.

 

 

 

“I could sing to you?”

 

 

 

Elias sat completely motionless as Zach slowly twisted in his arms to turn a fever glazed look, full of plead, on him.

 

 

 

“Really?”

 

 

 

Oh! Elias almost cried as relief washed over him, there was something he could do. He started fidgeting with Zach's hair – the only part of him that didn't make him wince in pain at the touch - and drew a shallow breath to keep his chest as still as possible as he sang.

 

 

 

“Free me, I'll free you. Free us from this world.

We don't belong here, it was a mistake imprisoning our souls.

Can you free me, free me from this world.”

 

 

 

Elias kept his voice low, but clear as he sang into Zach's hair, reminding himself to keep at least one arm behind his back to fight the ever-constant urge to engulf Zachariah in his arms. Zach gave a few airy coughs that made Elias’s voice waver with worry, but after a small whimper and a few laboured breaths, Zach fell quiet again. Elias was sure he'd fallen asleep again, but a single quiet sob followed by a sniffle proved him wrong.

 

 

 

“No no, Zachariah, darling.” Without hesitation, Elias reached a hand out and carefully nuzzled Zach's cheek dry of the unwelcome tears. It only then occurred to him that Zachariah hadn't even winced. His fingers lingered, gently stroking what in his mind was as frail as the thinnest crystal. Still no wince, not even a shiver.

 

 

 

“This doesn't hurt you?” Elias allowed himself a speck of hope in his darkness.

 

 

 

“It's worth it, angel.”

 

 

 

Elias had never in his wildest imagination believed that voiceless air could carry that much affection. His touch was worth it. Behind his mask of worry, Elias was rejoicing. Unable to keep his tears from spilling, he buried his face in Zach's hair, murmuring the end to the song.

 

“Running around in circles feeling caged by endless rules.

Can you free me, free me from this world.”

 

 

 

As he neared the end, he lifted his head. His eyes fell on the drawing he'd so carelessly let fall to the floor. Deep cloudy eyes were smiling up at him, an expression further emphasised by the shy turn-up of the drawn lips. He'd bring back those smiling eyes and turned up lips.

 

 

 

“I promise.” He whispered. More to himself than the lightly snoring Zachariah in his arms. Elias smiled.

 

 

 

“Go… To… Sleep…”

 

 

 

TBC…

Edited November 28, 2017 by Juto
'cause weird highlights?? fixed now...

[Subtly Clashing Wishes]

Poor Elias. It’s terrible to feel so helpless.

[Elyze]

Oh Juto! Another beautiful part of this story, but what are you doing to this lovely angel and his sweet ward? Poor boys! 

[Hedgehog]

Awww, the desperation... All these sweet ideas... all declined...

[SpamKey]

I'm sorry for not commenting earlier, but gosh this is just so heartwrenching!!!! I've missed these two, and I just reread the whole thing! I love it <3

[Experimentally]

Hello!

Juto. In my opinion, it’s unfair that a single author would be able to make someone’s heart break over and over again with the FEELS of such amazing writing 

 I’ve been stalking this thread since before I joined the forum, and it’s been incredible reading your work. Thank you so much!

[Juno]

This is the best Drabble thread I’ve ever read!! I finished it in two days and love Zach and Elias so much

[Juto]

On 11/29/2017 at 4:23 AM, Subtly Clashing Wishes said:

Poor Elias. It’s terrible to feel so helpless.

You'd think he'd be used to it by now 

On 11/29/2017 at 0:07 PM, helyzelle said:

Oh Juto! Another beautiful part of this story, but what are you doing to this lovely angel and his sweet ward? Poor boys! 

Thanks dear

(I torture them   mu-ha-ha )

On 11/29/2017 at 8:48 PM, Hedgehog said:

Awww, the desperation... All these sweet ideas... all declined...

Aww yes, poor bean. He only wanted to help. At least he got to sing though

On 1/29/2018 at 6:04 AM, SpamKey said:

I'm sorry for not commenting earlier, but gosh this is just so heartwrenching!!!! I've missed these two, and I just reread the whole thing! I love it <3

Aww Spam, you're the loveliest !!! Thank you. I hope you continue to stick around.

On 2/22/2018 at 6:55 AM, Experimentally said:

Hello!

Juto. In my opinion, it’s unfair that a single author would be able to make someone’s heart break over and over again with the FEELS of such amazing writing 

 I’ve been stalking this thread since before I joined the forum, and it’s been incredible reading your work. Thank you so much!

Awww gosh THANK YOU!!! such praise I sincerely hope I won't disappoint. I'm so happy you like it. 

 

On 3/14/2018 at 8:17 PM, Juno said:

This is the best Drabble thread I’ve ever read!! I finished it in two days and love Zach and Elias so much

Ohhh my! THANK YOU!!! I'm so happy you love my angel and his little goof.

 

So okay, 11 drabbles to go out of which 8 are completely done!!! I'm so close, SO DARN CLOSE!!!! And it's slowly eating away at me that I can't just take a week off from work and finish the damn things   ((yes, I'm a slow writer and time is a scarce resource in my life)). But I will get there eventually.

Just a heads up, really. From now on, its the agonizing climb to the turning point of the story, its falling action and eventual denouement, which means that the drabbles from now on will be more plot-heavy and less sneeze-infused. There will still be sneezes and illness, but it will be more scattered during the next 4-5 drabbles.

I hope you stick around, but if you chose not to, I completely understand.

Thank you all for this massive amount of support so far, commenters, readers, members and lurkers alike.

 

No sneezes in this part, sorry, but some belated pre-valentine's celebrations Enjoy.

 

Part 90 – Valentine’s day, Part 1

 

Elias told himself it wasn’t for personal gain, not in the slightest. Merely a perfectly solid reason to have Zachariah experience a genuinely heart-warming evening with his “boyfriend”… attending a party… a celebration of love, to be exact… on campus… on Valentine’s day.

 

… but it wasn’t for personal gain.

 

Not. NOT!

 

… or so he told his invisible reflection in the mirror when he went to convince the weaker part of his mind, letting authority and professionalism shape his stern frown.

 

But to little effect.  

 

In truth, ever since he had regained his grace in the last second of the forgone year he had waited impatiently for an opportunity to arise, an event or other that would require his presence and give him a chance to become human again and be visible with Zachariah.

 

The Valentine’s day party the university was hosting on campus was the perfect solution to his relentless pining, this burning agony, hiding behind every touch to Zach’s skin and curling around the sound of his name whenever Elias wasn’t being careful enough. The angel knew he was balancing on a knife’s edge, and one small action of pure affection that he couldn’t defend as being in Zachariah’s best interest, would have serious consequences for them both. Elias could only imagine the severity.

 

So, in the act of being a sensible and responsible guardian, he’d decided to let it go and not propose the deepest desires of his heart.

 

But of course, his treacherous dead heart had other plans.

 

“Don’t you want me to take you to the Valentine’s party on campus? I could come “visit my boyfriend” on this particular day and we could celebrate our "love-“” Defying all known laws of human anatomy post mortem, something fluttered alive in Elias’s chest at the word. “-with your classmates and I could stick around for a few days, or ten, and we could…uhm… ” he trailed off. What could they do besides attending the school party? Elias’s mind already designed a number of scenarios for them to be together in and uphold the boyfriend act, but he doubted they’d be viewed as contractually necessary by the heavens.

 

Regrettably for the smitten angel, his proposal was swiftly declined with a glare and a lecturing finger.

 

“Absolutely not!”

 

“Oh,” Elias was surprised by Zach’s downright refusal. “I thought you wanted to experience these kinds of conventional events. Seeing that we had a lovely Christmas together I thought that maybe you’d-“

 

“A Christmas where you were barely conscious with fever, you mean? Because of me.” Zach interrupted with a frown of hurt and guilt-ridden ire that could put scolded kittens to shame. 

 

That effectively silenced the angel. Zach sighed and put his fork down on his plate before looking in the direction of Elias’s voice. As usual, he was locked right on target, his stormy grey-blue eyes boring straight into Elias’s.

 

“Angel,” Elias tried to ignore the warm ignition in his gut when Zach used hit pet name. Thankfully, Zachariah couldn’t see the briefest of moments he closed his eyes and allowed himself to drown in the feeling. “You have been graceless for a total of three times now-“

 

“Three wonderful times.” Elias quickly interjected, hoping to lighten the mood, but Zach would not be deterred.     

 

“- and all three times you’ve ended up sick, and once you even-“ Zach paused, red blooming in his cheeks. He looked down on his plate and took a calming breath. “Once, I almost lost you because you were too stubborn and proud to admit how you felt and the ambulance crew were seconds away from taking you away from me.”

 

Right. Elias held his tongue while Zach took another deep breath, blinking a few times and clearing his throat with a hint of finality.

 

“Thank you for a very generous and selfless offer, but, no,” Zach concluded with a small shake of his head. “If I have any say in the matter, which I do according to your contract, I will not have you lose your grace over something as pointless as a Valentine’s party.”

 

Zach slouched back into his chair and Elias couldn’t help but notice the way Zach kept biting down on his lip, a small tell, the angel had learned, whenever Zach was brooding over something and unsure if he should voice his thoughts. Elias knew better than to press the matter and simply accepted Zach’s refusal by nudging his plate a little closer.

 

That night though, while Zach was tucking into his side, worming around a bit to get comfortable before sighing contently, fingers drowsily stroking Elias’s chest in his almost-sleep, the angel made a vow; Zach would have a Valentine’s day of celebration. They could still celebrate their fictitious relationship in the confines of their apartment and Elias wouldn’t have to beg for gracelessness.

 

As great a plan as that seemed, there was still a small voice in the back of his mind telling him to abort.

 

How can you possibly refrain from kissing him on a Valentine’s date? Are you even sure that a Valentine’s date is what he wants? For all that he knows, you’re simply setting up a faux celebration to honour a made-up relationship, when in fact, you’re just looking for an excuse to give him flowers and feed him heart shaped chocolates all purely to satisfy your own pathetic yearning.

 

As the responsible and prudent guardian he was, Elias pursed his lips and focused all his attention on counting Zach’s barely visible freckles, first in Latin then in ancient Greek, effectively blocking out the little voice that kept filling his head with vexing truths.

 

--¤--

 

 “What do you mean, you’re not coming tonight?” Simon asked during their lunchbreak. “I thought Elias would ask you. He seems like such an old-fashioned gentleman. Or are you guys…?”

 

Zach’s eyed widened and he nearly choked on his sandwich in his haste to rebut the insinuation. “No, no. We’re still… together.” He felt his cheeks warm and was infinitely glad Elias had decided to stay home today and not witness him blush like an idiot as he tried to defend their invented relationship. He quickly made up an excuse. “He just couldn’t make it tonight.”

 

“Why don’t you come with us, then?” Simon asked in earnest. “My date had to cancel so I’m just gonna go with a few of the guys. Just for the fun of it, have a beer or two. I’m sure some of your drama mates will be there too.”

 

“Well…” Zach scratched his neck, contemplating. Elias had on several occasions encouraged him to pursue some fun and social experiences and in truth, Zach wanted to go, but he wasn’t willing to sacrifice Elias’s grace, and consequently his health, because of a half-hearted desire to attend a campus party. But if Simon was offering… as a friend… Elias would no doubt approve the decision. He turned back towards Simon, smiling. “Okay. I’ll come. For the fun of it.” He parroted.  

 

“Great.” Simon was beaming at him. “We’re meeting up at my place for a few warm-up drinks and some pizza after school. I’m sure I have some clothes that’ll fit you if you don’t want to go home first.”

 

Zach considered the offer. Perhaps it would be easier not involving Elias and his mesmerising and distracting presence while Zach tried on shirts to attend a party his angel wasn’t going to. And since he wasn’t actually attending the party hoping to attract a date, there was nothing wrong with the “Talk Darcy to me”-hoodie he was wearing. One of Elias’s many ‘please-stay-warm’-gifts.  But in all honesty, Zach was afraid that if he went home to shower and get dressed, he wouldn’t have the heart to leave Elias behind.

 

“Just one drink.” He responded in acceptance with an amused glare and a raised finger.

 

Simon laughed and raised his arms in mock surrender.

“Just don’t sell me out to that beau of yours when you’re begging for another of my infamous Bond-style martinis.”

 

--¤--

 

Say one thing about Elias Luca Fitzwilliam, say he didn’t do anything by halves, whether it was offering protection, nursing, mother-henning, or, as it turned out, decorating a flat with all the Valentines appropriate props and decor he could order online, one-day-rush. In just a few hours, their living room had gone from a slightly minimalistic yet homey-style room to a red velvet explosion. Rose petals were artistically sprinkled over most of the floor space, particularly in a thick layer path, leading from the hall to the living room. Red, scentless candles – Elias had made the poor online vendor swear on his life – covered every available surface and stood firm as burning love declarations amongst scattered wrapped sweets – none with strawberry flavour that could set off his ward’s allergy, Elias was nothing if not thorough - and scarlet confetti.

 

Elias couldn’t wait to see Zach’s expression when he realised that Elias had brought the Valentine’s party to him, safely out of the February chill and far far away from any potential suitors or other home wreckers.

 

He knew this kind of thinking was unhealthy, but him and Zachariah had never been happier with their situation, and Elias wasn’t about to let any dishonourable heathens gamble with Zachariah’s sensitive heart.

 

Elias was prepared to do anything, and right that, that included throwing his ward a platonic Valentine’s party.   

 

Looking slightly lost, still with an armful of heart shaped plushies, Elias wondered for a fleeting moment if he’d gone slightly overboard with the whole faux-Valentines’-date-thing. He shrugged and dumped the plushies on the sofa, adding a sprinkle of extra rose petals for good measure.

 

Giving the room one last appraising look, he nodded once and made to leave to get started on dinner. He’d decided to prepare Zach’s favourite; blueberry pancakes – adding a dash of red food colour and cooking them in a heart shaped pan. He’d long since decided if it was worth doing, it was worth overdoing. Especially for Zachariah. He made to move to the kitchen when a small ping from his phone in his pocket turned his attention away from faux-love-declaring foods.

 

It was a message from Zachariah. Skimming it, Elias’s mood plummeted.

 

Angel, you were right. I should take the opportunity to go to this party. Simon has offered to take me, as a friend, along with a few of his mates. I’m just gonna go for a few hours and have a drink or two. I’ll call you before I leave and I’ll take a taxi home.

Don’t worry, I brought my jacket 😉

Consider this an evening off duty. Stay home and have fun tonight and please steer clear of Doctor Who reruns. I promise you, evil, weeping marble angels are not real.       

Take care.

<3 Z

 

Crestfallen and left entirely without the purpose that had brought his spirit to soaring heights and given him a blooming warmth in his chest, Elias looked around the room, dejected. Tokens of affection stared blankly back at him, their presence more painful than hopeful now, mocking his one-sided affection and unyielding loyalty. Dazed, equally angry with himself for being rejected based on his poor constitution as a human, and angry with Zachariah for reasons he refused to label emotions of betrayal, he picked up a small plushie from the sofa and squeezed it so hard in his fist it sprung at the seam and puked cotton stuffing over his hand.

 

No matter how hard he tried, Zachariah would always be a world away from him, untouchable, unobtainable, alive.  

 

He didn’t know what hit the floor first; the small torn plushie that fell from his numb hand or the single, heavy tear that hit the floor where his feet had been a moment ago, before they went flying out the door.

TBC…

[Kaze Wo Hiku]

.......................

..............

......

YOU!

Come to Kaze Elias, I'll take care of you!!!!!!!

[Subtly Clashing Wishes]

 

 

[Juno]

oh no! poor Elias  it’s just not fair!

[Arty]

me reading that last scene like:

[Juto]

On 3/31/2018 at 10:39 PM, Kaze wo Hiku said:

.......................

..............

......

YOU!

Come to Kaze Elias, I'll take care of you!!!!!!!

.........................

.................

..........

ME!

((he's on his way, glaring angrily at me over his shoulder poor bean))

On 4/1/2018 at 2:03 AM, Subtly Clashing Wishes said:

 

 

Sawwy But you know I had to...

((But you also know that a happy ending is my main goal ))

((((( but not before I put them through a little hell first )))))

 

On 4/6/2018 at 9:17 PM, Juno said:

oh no! poor Elias  it’s just not fair!

Nope he has to learn that the hard way...

 

13 hours ago, Arty said:

me reading that last scene like:

Hehe sorry Arty All will be well... eventually.

 

Let's get some more unresolved affections and complex emotions, yeah...? Good. 

Thank you for staying with me. I adore you all.

 

Part 91 – Valentine’s day, part 2

 

 

 

The night didn’t exactly go as Zachariah had planned- and that’s not even counting the fact that he had forgotten his jacket at Simon’s place (Elias would have thrown a fit). Even after he’d accepted the tug of guilt for attending the party without Elias – a persistent ache that even one of Simon’s infamous Bond-style martinis couldn’t dull - karma seemed to be on a mission to make him pay for his poor decision to wave off Elias’s offer and go without him.

 

 

 

Zach resigned himself to feeling less than happy for the evening than he would have been with Elias by his side, but the repercussions of having his angel visible again were too risky and Zach wasn’t about to take any chances with his fragile angel.

 

 

 

What’s more was, he wasn’t quite sure he trusted his heart not to decide to share secrets of carefully concealed feelings for his guardian at a bloody Valentine’s party. But the decision still made him feel empty inside.  

 

 

 

After a light dinner and some heavily shouted ‘cheers’ – Zachariah only pretending to drink as much as the rest while secretly watering what few plants Simon had when the others weren’t looking- the small gang of friends made their way from Simon’s flat to campus, simply following the music across the great lawn to the tents set up for the occasion and decorated in vibrant red and pink colours.  

 

 

 

Couples, slow-dancing, kissing or just enjoying the crisp evening air together, were strewn across the lawn, apparently feeling private enough to be over-affectionate and yet close enough that they still felt part of the party going on inside the tents and on campus. Zach felt a sudden tightness in his chest and briefly considered making excuses to hurry home to Elias but fought against them. Elias wanted him to have fun, and he was here to enjoy himself without feeling guilty about it. Or try to at least.

 

 

 

As they walked past the tents, Zach noticed small illuminated pavilions erected between the tents and the school building. Several couples and groups of friends already made good use of the set-up dance floors. Zach took a moment to simply enjoy the ambiance, trying his best to ignore the slow-burning pain in his chest. This day, this party, was a celebration of love and yet he had told – ordered, to be exact – his only love, his angel, to stay home. It didn’t feel right, but Zach had to remind himself that their connection, bound by contract as it was, could never be a foundation for love, and even if it could, Elias wasn’t interested in him in that way. He’d loved Amelia all those years ago and probably still did, in a fashion.

 

 

 

Zach swallowed against a small lump in his throat and tried to shoo the depressing thoughts away before they could ruin his evening. When that didn’t help, he gladly accepted the beer Simon handed him but kindly declined the offer to follow them inside. Simon was observant enough to pick up on his melancholy and left to join his friends with the promise that Zach would call him when he was ready.

 

 

 

Once Simon and his mates were out of sight, Zach walked in the direction of the illuminated pavilions. He chose the less crowded one and climbed the few steps, letting the soft glow from the overhead lanterns and the soft dance music that weaved through the air lift his spirits just a little.   

Here, at least, he could pretend that longing sapphire eyes followed him from the surrounding darkness, that his angel, despite Zach’s words, had followed him to the party, just to make sure he was safe. Zach’s heart warmed at the thought and he closed his eyes in bliss.

 

 

 

When he opened them a few seconds later, it was to find dark blue eyes gazing softly at him from across the small pavilion. Zach glanced away, blush creeping up his cheeks from the unfamiliar scrutinizing. When he turned his head to look back the stranger was still exploring every inch of his body with his eyes.

 

 

 

Zach felt uncomfortably naked. He shivered, and not entirely from the cold that was slowly seeping through his hoodie.

 

 

 

“Uhm, hi…?” he tried, if only to get the stranger talking and abandoning his ruthless, undressing stare.

 

 

 

“I apologise.” The voice was pleasant and deep, smile charming. “Please don’t be offended by my staring, I’m just looking for the tag that says: ‘made in heaven’.”

 

 

 

Zach almost choked on a mouthful of beer.

 

 

 

“Excuse me?” he spluttered.

 

 

 

“Can I steal you for the night? Or does heaven have a curfew?”

 

 

 

Was this guy… flirting with him? Zach’s mind was trying to piece logic together. He’d never actually expected to be hit on at a campus Valentine’s party, but then again, being by himself and bathed in golden light from an outdoor, romantic pavilion didn’t exactly scream ‘’taken’ in the sense that my affections belong to an ethereal being and will not be deterred by mere humans’. 

 

 

 

His silence however didn’t discourage his unfortunate suitor in the least.

 

 

 

“Did you fall from grace tonight just to see me?”

 

 

 

Unbe-fucking-lievable. Of all the nights to be the centre of angel-infused pick-up lines. Zach groaned internally. The universe was undoubtedly having a laugh at his expense.

 

 

 

“Please just don’t… with the pick-up-lines.” Zach said, shoulders hunched a little with embarrassment as he gave a hopeful look which the guy accepted graciously with a chuckle and a nod. 

 

 

 

Obvious lack of knowledge concerning angels aside, the guy was quite charming, and Zach had to admire his persistency. He smiled back, and the guy took it as an invitation to take a step towards him, holding out his hand in greeting.

 

 

 

Zach cocked an eyebrow before taking his hand. The guy’s smile grew wider and his eyes twinkled mischievously.

 

 

 

“Now I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel. Last one, I promise.” He laughed pleasantly at Zach’s eye roll as he held up his hand in surrender. “I’m Jonah.”

 

 

 

“Zach.” Jonah’s hand squeezed his before letting go.  

 

 

 

Something about the whole situation stirred unpleasantly in Zach’s gut. He felt like he was betraying Elias somehow simply by talking to this guy. Jonah, he reminded himself. His name was Jonah, and his eyes were several shades darker than Elias’s, voice slightly gruffier than Elias’s velvet, chocolate tones. The hand that had held his was just a hand and not an offer of comfort or eternal protection the way that Elias’s touch always was. Even his black hair looked thinner and without the midnight shine that Elias’s had. Jonah was nothing like Elias. Jonah had nothing on Elias.

 

 

 

And yet, Jonah was everything Elias wasn’t. A living, breathing possibility waiting to be explored and tested to the limit of its capabilities. A possible future. One that Zach wasn’t sure he was allowed because Elias was in his life.        

 

 

 

What would Elias say if Zach started dating? That question hadn’t exactly made it into nights curled up tight together under a shared blanket or light-hearted conversations over homemade pancakes and honey brew.

 

 

 

Was Jonah even interested beyond the innocent flirting? Would he share Zach’s passion for books and classic movies? Would he indulge him the way Elias did? Could he cook? ‘Cause Zach had no intention of learning. Would Jonah accept that?

 

 

 

What if Jonah did become part of his life? What if he ended up being happy with him, marrying him even? If Zachariah had Jonah in his life to love him and care for him, would the heavens take Elias away from him? 

 

 

 

All these questions were making his head ache uncomfortably. He shook it from side to side, but it turned into a full body shiver as the cold evening air had settled in his bones while he was busy pondering the rest of his life. He turned abruptly away from Jonah and tucked his face into his elbow, nose twitching from the chill.

 

 

 

“h’ahtschu-u! hh’tsschu!!”

 

 

 

Zach blushed and accepted Jonah’s chuckled blessing, but then Jonah’s eyes gave Zach a serious once over as if he was first really seeing him now, then proceeded to turning his head this way and that, eyes searching, before coming back to look at Zach who had discreetly used Jonah’s distraction to stifle a third sneeze and try to warm his nose in his hands.

 

 

 

“Don’t you have a jacket?” Jonah asked, frowning.

 

 

 

And it was such a caring, wonderful, horrendous Elias-thing to ask that Zach immediately burst out laughing. Or was he crying? Or maybe it was some ridiculous combination of the two that tugged on his lips and made his breath tumble out in giggly sobs.    

 

 

 

Sobs which only turned louder and more desperate as he questioned his own actions.

 

 

 

What’s worse was, it wasn’t stopping. Disoriented now, dizzy and anxious, Zach dropped to his knees and hid his face in his hands while his body still shook fiercely with a flow of relentless shivers to accompany the sobs.

 

 

 

A slow burning pain started to spread in his chest and if he hadn’t been crying before he was most definitely crying now. Everything about this night seemed god-awful wrong and all the wanted to do was get back home to Elias this minute.

 

 

 

He’d barely finished that thought before strong arms encircled him and velvet tones cooed comfortingly in his ear before turning their attention to Jonah.

 

 

 

“What did you do to him?”

 

 

 

“Nothing man, we were just talking and then uhh...”

 

 

 

“Zachariah, darling?” Elias’s voice was like an anchor in Zach’s heart, keeping him from drowning. “What happened?”

 

 

 

“Take me home.” Were the only words Zach could muster through the trembling and the sobs which refused to let up, not even in the safe haven of Elias’s embrace.

 

 

 

“Zachariah, look at me.” But Zach only pushed his cold face into Elias’s shoulder, keeping his eyes shut. Warm hands fingered at his nape. “Zachariah Wentworth Benedict, please look at me.” Zach had never been able to refuse when Elias used his full name, and this time was no different. Desperately trying to get a grip on his breathing, heaving deep, calming breaths through his nose, Zach turned his head to lock eyes with very concerned, very visible, sapphire gemstones. Even in this dim setting they were blazing, more with unconcealed worry than with affection. “Are you in pain? Do I need to take you to the hospital?”

 

 

 

Zach shook his head ‘no’, sniffling. “Just take me home.”

 

 

 

“Okay.” Warm lips touched his temple as one of his own coats was swung over his shoulders. Elias half pulled him upright with an arm around his middle as Zach got unsteadily to his feet. There was no sign of Jonah; Poor guy had fled while he could. A distant dream of a potential yet still undefinable future shattered in Zach’s mind, needle sharp fragments stinging his eyes and forehead, but he couldn’t think about that now, not when Elias was keeping him so delightfully close, tucked snugly under his arm and firm at his side as he guided him over to a waiting taxi on the campus parking lot.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Once in the car, Zach went from clinging octopus to scared mouse, huddling in his coat as he pressed himself as close to the window as he could.   

 

 

 

“Are you angry?” The hurt in Zach’s hoarse voice made whatever anger Elias had felt earlier when he had lurked in the shadows, invisible, watching with growing despair the casual flirting that took place right before his eyes immediately evaporate, leaving only a wretched feeling of undignified, unjustified jealousy.

 

 

 

“About you forgetting your jacket?” Elias tried for light amusement, but Zach only huffed a dejected noise at him.

 

 

 

“Not about the damn jacket.”

 

 

 

Elias sighed and opened his arm to Zach. An invitation which, to Elias’s delight, Zach accepted, if a little hesitantly. Elias nuzzled his lips into his hair, breathing the calming scent of Zachariah while his hands tried to force their own body heat through his clothes. He could feel the ice of Zach’s skin under the fabric and cursed the way his angelical abilities were lost to him in his graceless state.

 

 

 

“You’re freezing!” He mumbled into wild curls. “I should be angry.”

 

 

 

Zach only sniffled in reply and tucked the coat more firmly around himself, catching Elias’s hands so the angel had to pull them away purely to avoid getting them stuck. He heard Zach mumble something that sounded nothing like an apology and more along the lines of “why did you have to be so fucking perfect”, but the blatant lack of a question-sounding ending told Elias his ward wasn’t expecting any sort of reply from him (though his dead heart did a little jig at the notion of Zach finding him perfect). The ward gave a noticeable shiver when the warmth of Elias’s hands left him, but he didn’t ask for them back.  

 

 

 

“Zachariah, what happened?” the question had been burning in his mind since he’d witnessed Zach’s reaction to a seemingly innocent question, one Elias had already asked himself in the shadows. Knowing his ward, he’d had the good sense to bring an extra coat with him when he’d decided to abandon the apartment in favour of stalking his ward from the shadows. And a good thing he had too. Elias would never have forgiven himself if Zach had had to call him in distress after what happened. Much better to have been close by, just in case. 

 

 

 

But Zach’s reaction had left him utterly perplexed.

 

 

 

“Please don’t. I don’t feel like talking about it.” Zach mumbled into his coat and turned his head to stare out of the window.

 

 

 

Silence ruled the car from that point on and followed them up the steps to their apartment.

Out of respect for his ward’s obvious need for space, Elias trailed a little behind and allowed Zach to find and turn the key. A flicker of a thought crept up in his mind as soon as Zach pushed the door open, something he had forgotten and desperately needed to remember. Now!  

 

 

 

But it wasn’t until he heard Zach’s surprised gasp, that his mind revived the stark reality of the state of their Valentine’s-impregnated apartment.

 

 

 

Curses!

Edited April 15, 2018 by Juto
Danglish...

[Elyze]

It seems I forgot to comment on the previous chapter  Oops! Sorry! You know I loved it, don't you?

But really, these boys are breaking my heart now. The love is so strong, and they just... they don't think... but it IS mutual!

The way Zach thinks about Jonah is so sad. Jonah is just so so so close to what he wants and still so completely NOT at all right. Oh Zach, if only it was that simple. 

I wish they would get these misunderstandings straightened out already. I so want them to be happy. They are not now 

[Juno]

Oh man, I had no idea who to side for in this part. Poor Elijah, being stood up for his Valentine’s Day surprise and then having Zach consider another man, or for Zach who can’t be with Elijah and needs something real! It’s so sad  I can’t wait for the next chapter to see if they can sort it all out

also, I just wanted to comment and say that I love your writing and the way you write their sneezes, it’s all just so good and I don’t want it to end!

[Hedgehog]

It was good to learn more about Zacharias' thoughts - the reasons why he went to this party alone. But of course, Elias would come to protect and rescue him. In the end, he's still his guardian angel.  

[Arty]

Reading this sadness like: 

Me waiting for when these get their stuff together like:

[caramelfuzz]

Oh my word this is so amazing!!! I binge-read it the other day instead of doing my homework and I have no regrets!
I can't wait to see how it ends! <3

[starpollen]

Oh my heart!  Oh the angst!  Oh the adorable ness!...  Please never stop writing these two!