Top Gun (Mav x ice)

[Wolfwings22]

I saw you posted on AO3 as well had to race right over here to comment! Amazing as always and best Christmas present ever you being back! I missed our conversations here and getting to read your incredible takes on these characters!!! Made my absolute year to see you back! The way you write all three of them just makes me need to read everything you write over and over and over again to chase that feeling of warmth it gives me. You are the absolute best!! 

P.S I love your new profile pic. Hawkeye is my favorite superhero and I may even have the original 2012 avengers Hawkeye life sized fathead in my room but you didn’t hear that from me XD

[RemedyBane]

On 12/28/2023 at 1:36 AM, dwaekki said:

I'm so happy you're back! This was an amazing return, I love how well you write all of the characters and their emotions, each time you get me in the feels hahaha, i hope you continue to write more soon! I'll look forward to it ❤️

Thank you so much!!! 

On 12/28/2023 at 1:46 AM, Mygyn said:

@RemedyBane you’re back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got the email from A03 and about cried. I’ve missed your writing and you as a person!! I hope everything is okay in your world!!!!!

I am back!! Missed you! Everything is fine! I just got overwhelmed. How are you? Last time we chatted you were in a car wreck! 

@Wolfwings22 Hey love!!! Missed you!! Hawkeye is my babeee! I loved reading his comics growing up and jeremy renner is so delicious! I forgot about fatheads haha nice! 

 

YOU GUYS MAKE ME SO HAPPY I LOVE YALL!

 

Am I proud of this? no. Am I going to post it anyway.. .obviously. 

 

Mav Needs Advice and Ice is too Sick to Give It

 

Punching his locker was probably not the best thing for him to do, but here he was, hand pulsing, pain radiating through his arm, as he grimaced against the locker; where he now laid his head against, silently apologizing to the inanimate object. After a few deep breaths, he stood back up and stretched out his fingers, glad to feel that they weren't broken. He got lucky. 

It didn't even help his anger. He wanted to go start a fight, go drive too fast, and maybe even crash a plane. He knew none of that would help; especially not that last one. It would only prove what that admiral said. 

With a deep yell, he smacked the locker again with his palm before taking his stuff and storming out of the locker room. He needed to cool off. He couldn't go home like this; especially with Ice at home, sick. He would know something was up and he'd stop resting to help Mav. It's one of the many things Mav loved about Ice.

He started his bike and drove out, waiting until he was no longer on base to gun it. Sans helmet, he drove until he didn't see any cars or passersby, and let himself scream. It felt good to let himself feel, even if it was a little odd. Tears dried quickly against his cheeks as the cold wind whipped against his face. Keeping this secret was becoming harder and harder to stay secret. Of course, Ice and Slider knew, and so did Viper, as he was the one to tell him; but Viper made him promise to keep it to himself. If he wanted to keep his career, he had to shut up. He had to let the comments slide. It was destroying him from the inside to let people talk shit about his father. His father, who died for his country, the same country that treated him as a traitor. The lie that ate away at him for most of his life until he was finally told the truth, and now he can't even defend him. 

"FUUUCK!" He screamed to no one in particular, having stopped his bike to go wander into the forest. The silence that responded just made him feel worse. He wanted someone to respond. He wanted someone to scream with him. Someone to share his pain with. Someone who could validate what he was feeling. Instead, all he got was this feeling in his chest that made him want to throw up. 

He was always told that the truth would someday come out, so there was no point in lying. He believed that; he had to. He had hope that someday the tarnish on his father's name would fall away. He needed that hope to get by without falling apart. He could take the comments about him, he never cared what people said about him. Call him reckless, dangerous, even stupid. That never meant anything. But it wasn't just him anymore. Would his father be disappointed in him too? 

No, that wasn't fair. Mav ran his hand through his hair, finally coming back to himself and looking around, "oh shit." Where was he? He had just started walking, not paying any attention, "Son of a.." 

Taking a deep breath, he turned around and started walking in the direction, he hoped, he had come from. He checked his phone and saw that he had no bars. Great. 

After a few minutes of walking, he saw the headlights of a car in the distance and ran towards that light, knowing that if he just got to the road he'd be able to find his place. 

"Now this, was just stupid," he mentally facepalmed as he got to the road and couldn't see his bike, "how long did I walk?" He checked his phone again, and now that it had bars, he saw that he had a missed call from Slider, and a few texts from Ice. checking the clock, he winced. 

Opening the texts from Ice, he bit the inside of his cheek.

-Will you be home for dinner?-

-I shall take this as a no. There is soup in the fridge.-

-Are you alright?-

-Maverick? Did something happen?-

-Just get home safe.-

"shit shit shit shit," he tried to call Ice's phone and just got his voicemail. He had been out for almost 2 hours, and he could see the sun beginning to set. HE decided to leave a voicemail, at least for proof of life, "Sorry! I got caught up" he kicked a rock, "I'll be home as soon as I can."

He hung up the phone and tried Slider's cell, also voicemail, "I'm alive. Just got caught up. I"ll see you at home."

"if I could only find my bike," Mav started walking along the road, pulling his jacket closer around him, feeling the slight chill of the evening air, "I'm so in the dog house." After another ten minutes of walking, he saw his bike in the distance and ran for it, "finally."

It took him much longer than he thought it would have to get home. In his anger, he had driven 45 minutes away from home, and now it was properly dark as he pulled into the driveway. Running to the front, he opened the door quickly and looked around, not really sure what to expect when he got there. Perhaps Ice anxiously cleaning the kitchen, or maybe even Slider pacing. What he didn't expect was for a perfectly calm Ice, stirring something into a mug before walking over and handing it to him.

"Do you wandt- to talk about it?" 

Mav looked up at Ice and noticed the new flush on his cheeks and nose, a sign that his cold was getting the best of him, "No," Mav held the bug close to his chest, "how are you?"

"Fide," Ice sniffed and scrunched up his nose, clearly trying to hold off the tickle that seemed to never leave since the start of his cold, "Are you huggry?" 

"No," Mav put the mug on the counter and wrapped his arms around Ice, "just want you and Sli." 

"He's id the shower," Ice sniffed again and lightly coughed into Mav's shoulder, "glad you're ok." 

"Went for a long drive, didn't expect to get lost," he kissed Ice's cheek, "You're all warm." 

"You're cold," Ice pressed his wrist to the underside of his nose, and stepped away from Mav, "Heh'Ktsch-ktsch-ktsch-ktsch-ktsch-Ktsch'ew." 

"Bless you," Mav pulled him back in, "let's get you back to bed. We can talk about this tomorrow." 

Ice nodded slightly and let the smaller man usher him into the bedroom, and tucking him in, "you dnow you cad talk to be aboud adything." 

"I know," Mav kissed his forehead, "I just don't feel like talking tonight."

Ice nodded and closed his eyes, clearly more exhausted than he let on.

Slider took that moment to get out of the shower, towel-drying his hair, "he ran a fever around lunchtime," Slider put the used towel in the hamper before hugging Maverick, "You're cold."

"I'm fine," Mav kissed Slider, "sorry I'm late."

"It happens," Slider went to the bed and climbed in, chuckling when Ice moved to cuddle him, "go warm up in the shower, then join us."

----------------------

Maverick didn't get much sleep that night. In the morning, he'd say it was because he was listening to Ice's breathing, waiting for a wheeze to appear, but he knew they'd see right through that. He was still upset, and when he tried to close his eyes, he just saw the bastard berating him. It shouldn't have pissed him off this much, but he just couldn't let it go. 

As per usual, Ice was the first one up, silently shuffling out of bed when the sun rose and disappearing into the living room. If he were healthy, he would have gone on his morning run, but he was too stuffed up and achy to do that. So, instead, he went to the couch to blow his nose and watch the morning news until the others get up.

He was working on his third blow, when Mav came over and crawled into his lap, leaning his head on his chest, "Morning." 

"Hello," he was trying not to sound as congested as he was, "Couldd't sleep?" 

Avoiding the question, Mav sat up to look at Ice, "You look awful." 

"Love you doo," Ice reached for more tissues and dabbing at the underside of his nose, "wadda dalk about id?" 

"Your cold?" Mav teased as he reached for the thermometer Slider had left on the table from yesterday, "first, I want to take your temperature." 

"You're sdalling," Ice plucked out more tissues, pressing them to his face as he stifled a fit.

"You're not supposed to be suppressing them," Mav took the tissues from Ice and encouraged him to blow, "i'm going to get the lotion." 

"Fide," Ice sniffled pathetically as he tried to tend to his forever-running nose.

"This cold is really pissing off your nose," Mav straddled Ice when he got back, "I don't think you've ever looked sicker."

"I will sdeeze on you," Ice batted Mav's hand away, as the threat became more imminent, "Tdschiew!" he ducked into his shoulder, turning as far away from Mav as possible, "Dschiew-schew-schew-schew-schew-schew-schew." 

"Thanks for the warning," Mav lightly wiped under Ice's nose for him, "you should go back to bed."

"I'll take a dap later," Ice took the tissues from Mav and blew his nose, wincing a bit as his nostrils burned, "ugh." 

"come here," Mav uncapped the moisturizer and took a small scoop with his finger, "you'll feel better."

"I dod't actually wadt to sdeeze od you," the congestion was starting to make his throat tickle, causing him to cough off to the side.

"Stop moving," Mav took Ice's chin in his free hand and forced him to look at him, "I just need a second."

Ice winced at the first touch, the lotion cold against his warm nostrils. The movement sent another itch to the forefront, "M'hah''av.."

"It's ok," Mav continued to rub the lotion on his sensitive nose, "just let it happen." 

Ice's chest moved up and down as he tried to hold off the fit. He felt so disgusting with all the blowing he's had to do over the past few days. These sneezes wouldn't be the soft and dry sneezes Mav and Slider were used to. He could already feel some snot run down his upper lip. Trying to hold back, he squeezed Mav's hips, wanting the distraction. His eyes watered, already shut, nostrils quivering under Mav's fingertips. 

Suddenly Ice brought his hands up, accidentally trapping Mav's hands as well, as he succumbled to the fit. The fit came on fast and thick, Ice's head bobbing slightly as one sneeze tumbled out behind the other. Irritated tears rolled down Ice's cheeks, adding to the disgust Ice felt in himself when the fit finally stopped.

Mav took his hands back and grabbed a bunch of tissues, before giving some to Ice, and then cleaning his own hands. He didn't mind. It wasn't Ice's fault that this cold was really mucking up his sinuses. Poor thing looked so dizzy afterward that he just wanted to pick him up and bring him back to bed.

Ice coughed as he blew his nose, now feeling more stuffed up than he had been yesterday, "sorry.." 

"No apologizing," Mav kissed his forehead, "think you can come with me to the bathroom? Clean you up a bit?" 

"I deed a shower," Ice's eyes looked a little swollen as he put his hands down, "Did I..." he gestured to Mav's hand.

"Nope," Mav lied, knowing Ice was too out of it to counter, "come on. Then I'm making you some tea."

"Do we have Beds?" 

"Beds?" Mav raised a brow, wondering if Ice's fever was worse.

"Dot beds," he gestured to their bedroom, "Bedicide," he coughed, "for by cold?" 

"Meds," Mav almost facepalmed, "yeah, baby."

"Dodt feel good," Ice mumbled as he turned on the shower and sat down on the edge of the bathtub. 

"Do you want to try a bath instead?" 

Ice didn't realize he said that out loud, "dno," He sniffed and rubbed his nose, "ib fide." 

"I'm calling bullshit," Mav washed his hands before coming over and putting the back of his hand to Ice's forehead, "you look ready to keel over."

"Ab I sweatigg?" Ice took off his shirt, trying to get into the shower, "I feel cold."

"Not yet," Mav took off his clothes before joining him inside, "please let me put you to bed."

"Whad aboud breakfasd?" Ice brought his hands back up, sneezing hard enough to bend him over a bit.

"I think I can handle cereal," Maverick kissed his shoulder and started to soap up Ice's back, "you need sleep to get over this bug." 

"Ib always worse id dhe bordig."

"What was that?" Mav raised a brow.

"The Bordig..Bo..Bor," Ice sniffed thickly and rubbed his nose, which only made him do those cute little irritated kitten sneezes into the palm of his hand, "the bordig..ugh."

"Morning?" 

"Yeah," Ice nodded.

"Baby," Mav hugged him from behind, "I've seen you in a room with a cat, go into anaphylactic shock from papaya, and after mowing the lawn, and I've never seen you this miserable," he kissed his shoulder again, "you are going straight to bed for a long overdue nap."

"I jusd woke up," Ice coughed again.

"And any normal person would have said 'fuck it' if they felt this way, and go right back to sleep," Mav turned him around and put his hands on his cheeks, "Tom," his thumbs gently circled his sinuses, "bed." 

Ice shivered, "fide."

"Thank you," Mav kissed his lips.

"Will you talk with Sli?"

"About what?" 

Ice held up a hand and turned around, bringing his elbow up, "Heh'Schiew!" he felt Mav take his other arm, keeping him steady for his millionth sneezing fit, "schiew-schiew-schiew-schiew-schiew-schiew-schiew-schiew-schiew-schiew!" He waited there for a second before coming back up, looking bleary eyes and confused. 

"You ok?" 

"Dizzy," Ice rubbed his nose, "Whad was I sayigg?" 

"Nothing important," Mav turned off the water, "let me dry you off."

Ice was asleep before his head hit the pillow, now snoring slightly. 

Mav felt a strange sort of relief that Ice was too sick to make him talk it out. He knew it was irrational. He would feel a million times better if he just talked it out with Ice. Ice was good about making Mav feel better. It was stupid, but he kind of wanted to keep the fire inside of him. The more it burned, the more determined he felt to show off. He wanted to prove them all wrong, at least about him. He was the best... well.. second best.

-----------------------

Slider came into the kitchen, yawning silently and stretching, "We got coffee?" 

"Yeah," Mav hopped off the couch and poured him a cup quickly.

"uhm, thanks," Slider raised a brow, "you ok?" 

"I'm great," Mav topped off his cup, looking a little jittery.

"How many cups have you had?" Slider took the cup from Mav and put it on top of the fridge, where Mav couldn't reach it.

"Not fair."

"Is this about what happened last night?" 

"Now you're both ganging up on me."

"Both?" Slider took a sip of his coffee, "Mav, what's going on?" 

"Don't make me talk."

"You know you have to," Slider sat down at the table and stared at Mav, "you don't get a free pass because Ice is sick as a dog."

"Where does that phrase come from? It's so bizarre."

"Pete."

"Ugh, fine" Mav sat down at the table, ignoring how his leg bounced up and down.

"Where did you go?"

"I went for a drive," Mav didn't meet Slider's eyes, "Got lost.'

"You don't get lost," Slider nudged him with his foot.

"Well this time, I did," Mav took a deep breath, "I just kept driving, found some woods, and just... started walking."

"Why?" 

"Do I need a reason?" 

"You? Yes," Slider glanced at the bedroom door, somewhat expecting Ice to come out in one of his sweaters, glasses on his nose, and giving them both a concerned look.

"I just needed to think."

"About?" 

"My dad," Mav also glanced at the door, unknowingly expecting the same.

"About what Viper said? or someone else?"

"Someone," he paused and pointed at Slider, "who I will not name", he waited for Slider to put his hands up in surrender before continuing, "said he was a traitor and it just.. pissed me off."

"You wanted to correct him."

"I yelled that he wasn't, but I couldn't prove it, and I hate that." 

"I get that." 

"Do you?" Mav stood up and started pacing, "Everyone knows who your family is. You have a spotless reputation. No one ever compares you to anyone, much less a 'traitor'." 

"Mav," 

"I mean, you have the best pilot in the Navy, a perfect family life, and everyone loves you!" 

"Pete."

"I mean, how could you possibly understand-" he realized he was yelling when he turned and saw a familiar blonde-haired man in the doorway, "shit.. I didn't mean to wake you-"

"was-happening?" Ice slurred as he lazily leaned against the doorway.

"Nothing, babe," Mav ran over and helped stabilize Ice, "I'm sorry I was loud. Let's get you back to bed."

"Pete," Ice leaned into him, "you're upset." 

"You sound clearer," Pete kissed his cheek, "Meds kicking in?" 

"Yea," he sniffed and pressed a new clump of tissues under his nose, "everything ok?" 

"Yeah, I just got excited," Mav started to pull Ice into the bedroom, "Everything is fine. Just go back to bed. When you wake up again, i'll go get some soup, ok?" 

"Made soup.." Ice laid back down, looking bleary, "id the fridge."

"Ok," he kissed his forehead, "go to sleep."

"Everything's ok?" 

"Yea," Mav tucked him in, then waited until he was sure Ice was passed out again to go back outside, this time closing the bedroom door, "shit."

"You didn't scare him," Slider now had an empty mug of coffee, 'he just heard the noise and wanted to check. He's fine, Mav."

"I can't just go yelling like that-"

"You weren't that loud," Slider got up and pulled Mav to the couch, "you were right though." 

"About?"

"Me not really understanding," Slider sat down and patted the spot next to him, "sure, I've never been in your shoes, but I have been through a lot with Ice and his dad." 

"This is nothing like that-"

"Yes and no," Slider leaned back, "Everyone thinks his dad is the perfect man, charming, funny, strong. They compare Ice to him all the time, and it puts him in a really bad place every time. While people mean well, they have no idea how wrong they are, and Ice can't exactly tell them either."

"I never thought about it that way." 

"Ice used to throw up after every interaction. Couldn't get him to eat anything for days."

"Seriously?" 

"It was killing him; almost literally," Slider tugged at Mav's sleeve, hoping to get the man to look at him, "but Ice learned to separate the way people viewed his father from the way his father was. It was like creating this 2nd father. Instead of being compared to the abuser, he started hearing it as a compliment to him being what a father is supposed to be. Like their 'compliments' were just proof that Ice wasn't like the man, but better."

"How does that help me? People call me a traitor." 

"It's exactly the opposite. The traitor is like Ice's actual dad. The bad guy. Instead of identifying yourself with the false persona, do the opposite. Take it as a compliment. You are like your dad. You are a hero. A damn good pilot."

"You want me to spin their hate into a compliment?" 

"Exactly," Slider made sure Ice wasn't behind him before adding, "We both know speaking about Ice's dad is a horrible idea, so don't tell him I made this comparison." 

"It's kinda strange how different Ice and I are, yet so similar."

"I've been trying to tell you that since day 1." He picked up a coin from the table and tossed it to Mav, "two sides of the same coin."

"My dad was a hero."

"Yes," Slider nodded, 'You know this. I do, Viper does, and Ice does. For now, that's just how it's gotta be. I believe that one day, the truth will come out."

"You tell Ice that?" 

"All the time," Slider was serious, "I pray every day that his father makes one wrong move and he finally gets what's coming to him." 

"I can't tell if you mean jail time, or you finally kill him," Mav joked.

"Whatever comes first," Slider's eyes went dark, dead serious.

Mav looked away, "Sometimes I forget how scary you can be."

"Tom's dad doesn't." 

----------------------------

It took a few days for Ice to get back on his feet, but when he did, he felt awful. Not horribly sick like he was, but like he missed out on a lot. The last few days were a cold medicine-induced haze, and he wasn't sure what was a dream and what was real. While the boys were still asleep, he deep-cleaned the kitchen and the living room. He had to take a break after that, as he started to get a little woozy. He was still sick and needed to pace himself. 

After a short tea break, he started a load of laundry and swept the porch just in time for Maverick and Slider to wake up.

"Babe?" Mav ran his fingers over the table, "are you cleaning right now?" 

"I take a few sick days and the house is a mess," Ice put the now-dry clothes into the hamper and placed it on the counter.

"This place is not a mess," Slider pulled Ice away from the hamper and pulled him in for a hug, "you're stressing yourself out." 

"The house is a mess."

"No, it's not," Slider kissed his forehead, "you're freaking out about taking days off."

Ice looked over at Mav, "YOu seriously don't think the house is dirty?"

"Babe, a health inspector would lick the floor."

"ugh," Ice put his face in his hands, "ok.. maybe I'm freaking out." 

"Just a bit," Mav came closer and took his hands off of his face, "you do look a lot better though."

"I feel better," he rubbed his nose, slightly annoyed that it still itched, 'hiew-hiew-hiew." 

"Bless," Slider chuckled at the tiny sneeze, "glad you're feeling better."

"Um," Ice scrunched his nose up, looking between the two of them, "It might have been the fever, or the medicine," he sniffed lightly, holding back another sneeze, "but I could have sworn Mav was yelling?" 

Mav and Slider shared a look.

"So that did happen?" 

"We talked it out," Mav smiled at Slider.

"So everything is ok?"

"Yup," Mav kissed the back of Slider's hand.

"That's good," Ice cleared his throat and took a few steps to the side, lifting his shirt and sneezing again, "HUh'Schiew-schiew-schiew-schiew-schiew-schiew-schiew-schiew-schiew-schiew!"

"Come back here," Slider lunged forward and pulled Ice back in against his chest, "I think you still need another day in bed." 

"It's the dust-"

"Shh," Slider kissed him, "just let us pamper you for one more day? There are still a lot of movies we need you to see, and you made soup to last the month."

"Can I at least make my own tea?"

"Nope," Mav went and turned on the kettle, "you did too much already. Today, we are chillin' on the couch." 

"The world will not crumble if you take another sick day," Slider picked him up and walked him to the couch, "besides, I'm not done kissing you."

"That, I could do with more of," Ice leaned in and deepened the kiss.

Ice broke first, "Thank you for taking care of Mav."

"It's what couples do," Slider popped and kissed him, "I mostly quoted you."

"Oh boy," Ice chuckled, "and that worked?" 

"Quoting you always works."

"I love you." 

Slider grinned, 'Not as much as I love you." 

"If you too are going to be gross without me, could you wait until I'm out of the room?"

"Or you could join me in love-bombing our boyfriend?" Slider glanced over at him.

"You're too tall." 

"Couch then," Slider walked over and sat down, holding Ice in his lap, barely having touched the seat before Mav was taking Ice's face in his hands and kissing him.

Hearing Ice laugh as he was being kissed all over by the two of them destroyed any anger left in Mav. The people that mattered knew the truth, and for now, that was going to have to be good enough.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited January 4 by RemedyBane

[Mygyn]

52 minutes ago, RemedyBane said:

Last time we chatted you were in a car wreck! 

Oh friend it’s been quite a bit of time then 😅 car accident 1 July 31st car accident 2 1 block away from OG accident August 31st! Sooo 😅😅. 
 

I’m better now  but it was a rough 2 months without a car! 
 

I’m currently pursuing travel adventure and ghost hunting 😅 So I think things are better! 
 

54 minutes ago, RemedyBane said:

just got overwhelmed.

I don’t like that you were overwhelmed  hopefully things have mellowed out.

 

 

*goes off to read your newest chapter*

[Wolfwings22]

Are you kidding me?? This has to got be one of your best ones yet! Literally amazing in every sense of the word from the comfort that Slider gave Mav to Ice’s messy fits it was absolutely perfect! I can’t express enough how much I love this!

[Wolfwings22]

Also @Mygyn you’ll have to let me know how your ghost hunting goes. If my job pushes me any closer to the edge that may be where I’m heading 

[Mygyn]

3 minutes ago, Wolfwings22 said:

ghost hunting goes. If my job pushes me any closer to the edge that may be where I’m heading 

Bad job…  

 

it’s been fun I went to Gettysburg in November a complete skeptic but had some pretty crazy EVP’s with the entity repeating my name. I legit cried and had a spiritual awakening IDK life is too fucking short to no just live In the moment!!

6 minutes ago, Wolfwings22 said:

 

Are you kidding me?? This has to got be one of your best ones yet! Literally amazing in every sense of the word from the comfort that Slider gave Mav to Ice’s messy fits it was absolutely perfect! I can’t express enough how much I love this!

 

I echo every word of this 😭 I legit love a good Mav getting comforted fic  and can I say that Ice sneezing on Mav 🥵 I may have a bit of a mess kink 😂 

 

Also @Wolfwings22 the newest sick temper fic was amazing. Chefs kiss to a sick Mav!

[dwaekki]

Omg I loved seeing them comfort Mav instead this time! Slider is always such a sweetheart to both of them, I love their dynamic together as a three. Once again Ice has the sweetest little sneezes, it's funny to me to imagine how Slider or Mav would be if they sneezed in the same way, Mav would probably cause an earthquake lmao. Please continue soon!

[Mygyn]

Top gun 3 has been confirmed ahhhhhhhhhh!!!  
 

That  is all enjoy your day! 

[RemedyBane]

@Mygyn If Ice doesn't come back with some excuse like "had to go into witness protection, sorry bud" I'm gonna loose it

@dwaekki❤️ I think Slider would need to sit down, and Mav would probably die.

@Wolfwings22I adore you. I might not post this on AO3 (def not my little confession).

 

Have some body dysmorphia and eating disorder Ice. Warning, all of what I said previously, and vomit. 

Not all of my stories are winners, but this one hits close to home. I too hate stepping on scales. As my body changes into more of an adult body ( I am 25) I seem to hate it more and more every day. I had to put my scale in a drawer elsewhere so I wouldn't feel tempted to weigh myself as I feared the increase in number. For an idea, I'm about 5'8 and (as I just weighed myself:) 132 pounds. I know this is exactly where i should be for my height, but irrationality does what it does. So, I apologize, but i consider yall my friends and after the things you have told me,  I think it's only fair I show a little vulnerability myself. 

So, without further ado, here is some crap I wrote too fast.

Gaining Weight

It should have been a simple check-up. Get in, Answer questions, draw some blood, then go home. Nothing he hadn't done a million times. The one thing that was truly different, was for the first time in his life, he was content. He didn't triple-check his watch as he drove to the doctor, afraid he wouldn't be there 15 minutes early. This time, he just walked in, 5 minutes early, and was not stressed. He checked in and sat down in the waiting room, patiently waiting for his name to be called, and read a book while he did so. 

He went from ok to spiraling with one sentence.

"Hm," The Doctor looked over his chart at the end, and nodded, "I see you've gained some weight." 

Ice instinctively looked over to his left, at the empty chairs, as if he was expecting someone to be there, "I didn't-" 

"It's not a bad thing," The doctor tried to reassure, "It's just that you have been very consistent with your weight, and I want to know if this was on purpose." 

"I-" Ice could feel bile in his throat and swallowed thickly, "I haven't been as... disciplined."

"If you don't mind me asking," the Doctor looked at him over his glasses, "are you in a relationship? Most couples tend to gain a few pounds once they've settled."

"Yes."

"Good for you," The doctor patted his leg, "I was getting worried you had a food disorder, but looking at these numbers, I think we're in the clear."

The rational part of Ice's brain knew that the doctor was trying to compliment him. That the chart was looking too perfect to be healthy, and he was happy to see the gained weight. His heart, on the other hand, was beating far too fast.

"You are in great health, truly," The doctor smiled at him and closed his chart, "probably my healthiest patient in decades."

--------

Ice made it halfway home before he had to pull off the side of the road to throw up in the grass. He was hoping he could make it home without losing his breakfast. At least he would lose the unnecessary calories. 

He threw up again, which made him feel ten times worse than he already did. Tears splashed into the vomit, forcing Ice out of his head and into the present, where he was crying out loud.

"God, I thought I was getting better," He leaned back and sat against his car, staring at the forest in front of him, "Shit." 

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and called Mav. 

"Hey sexy-"

"Mav," Ice cut him off, "I can't drive." 

"Where are you?" 

"I don't.." he started crying again, "I.." 

He could faintly hear Mav yelling for Slider to grab his keys, "Hey, It's going to be ok. We'll find you."

"I gained weight, Mav." 

"That's great!" Mav tried to sound enthusiastic, even though his own stomach sunk.

"I keep thinking..."

"Don't hurt yourself," Mav tried to joke, but he really was concerned Ice would do just that.

"He won't shut up," Ice sniffed and wiped his eyes, "I don't know.."

"You do know," Mav whispered to Slider to drive faster, "you're doing the right thing. You called me. You asked for help."

"I threw up."

"Did.." Mav tried to stop himself from crying, "did you.."

"No," Ice knew what he was afraid to ask, "I just... got nauseous." 

"Ok, that's ok."

Ice heard Mav faintly say 'thank god' but ignored it, "Pete.." 

"Hey, listen to me," Pete sighed, "it's a good thing. You gained weight. That's normal! That means you're getting better. You're not obsessing over this anymore. Your father doesn't have that hold on you anymore."

"Then why can I hear him now?" 

"What do you mean?" Mav was actually scared his dad had somehow appeared.

"I'm fat," Ice closed his eyes and pulled his legs up, "I let myself go.." 

"Hey no. That's your dad's words. We don't use that language, you know that."

"I gained.. pounds.. plural." 

"So? I gained weight too. SLider trains with the purpose of gaining weight."

"Iz..different," Ice sounded a bit slurred.

"Ice? Tom? What's wrong?"

"Just.. tired." 

"Hey hey no," Mav hit Slider's arm hard, scaring the shit out of him, "Did you do something?" 

"Hm?" 

"Tom?! Did you hurt yourself?"

"No," Ice coughed a bit, "I didn't... I'm not bleeding."

"Baby, I need you to be honest with me."

"I am," Ice opened his eyes and looked at his own arms, as if he wasn't entirely sure if he was telling the truth, "I'm just.. confused." 

"What-" Mav suddenly got excited, "I see your car! Are you by your car?!"

"Sitting.. on it." 

"I see you," Mav jumped out of the car and hung up the phone, well before Slider truly stopped and parked. He sprinted over, knelt down by his wingman, instantly checking him over for any cuts.

"Is he bleeding?!" Slider sprinted over and fell to his knees, also checking, even after he just saw Mav do the same thing.

"Stop," Ice took his hands back and rubbed his face, "not suicidal." 

"That's good," Slider took his hands back anyway.

"I just... i'm so.. conflicted," Ice's eyes were slightly glazed over, "I know he's wrong..."

"But he's really loud," Mav started to rub Ice's arms, hard enough to cause pain, "Well guess what?" 

Ice seemed to gain a bit of clarity with the pain, "What?'

"I'm louder," Mav kissed Ice's lips before standing up and screaming to no one in particular, "I LOVE THIS MAN!" 

Ice almost looked amused, while Slider looked almost ready to smack him.

"Maverick's insane," Slider continued the painful arm rubs, "I know you want to curl in on yourself and shut down, but I need you to stay here."

"'s getting hard... to talk." 

"I need you to keep talking."

"I don't want to," Ice started crying again.

"I need you to," Slider had tears in his eyes too, "talk to me." 

"I thought... I was done." 

"With what?" 

"Hating..." Ice was properly sobbing now, "Hating me.." 

"Hating what about you?" Slider started to massage his hands.

"I hate my body.." 

"What?" Slider squeezed his hands, "I didn't hear you."

Ice took a few breaths before saying it a little louder, "I hate my body."

"I still can't hear you." 

"Don't make me.. talk." 

"I want you to scream," Slider pulled on his arms a little, "yell. Make noise." 

Mav sat down next to him, not entirely sure what Slider was getting at, but he trusted him, "Make noise."

"I can't-" 

"Make noise," Mav patted his back, "just try."

 "I can't-"

"Yes you can!" Mav started to yell.

"Stop." 

"Do it!" 

"Stop." 

"DO IT!" 

"STOP!" 

"YES!" Mav and Slider both yelled with him.

"WHY?!" Ice took his hands back and put them to his ears.

"DO IT!" They repeated loudly, pushing him over the edge.

Ice finally screamed, unsure at first, sounding like a small croak. The kind of sound you make when you're startled. Slider and Mav screamed towards the forest, trying to fill the space with noise so he didn't feel so alone. After a few seconds, Ice tried again. This time sounding a bit more sure. His heart was pounding in his ears, racing as the anxiety peaked, waiting for the repercussions of such an outburst. When nothing came of it, he took a deep breath and screamed fully. Decades of abuse and reluctant compliance coming to a point. His voice cracked with the strain, which only made it more desperate; showing just how new he was to this concept. He'd never made so much noise before... and it felt... good. It felt like the ice around his chest finally cracked open. His usually tight chest felt ten times lighter.

"YES!" Mav stood up and started jumping, "Yes! Tell the universe!" Mav raised his middle fingers to the air, "FUCK YOU KAZANSKY SENIOR!" 

Ice just listlessly fell against Slider and closed his eyes, emotionally exhausted, "ow." 

Slider let him cry into his chest, "I am so proud of you." 

"Finally letting all of the pent-up anger and pain out," Mav knelt back down and rubbed his thigh, "It must have felt sooo good." 

Ice just started to cry harder.

"You're going to have a good cry, then take the best nap of your life, then you're going to feel so much better." 

Ice felt like he would never stop crying. His chest ached with the effort, and he could swear he could feel the energy move from his toes to his heart as he used whatever energy he had left to cry.

"I think this is the breakthrough we've been waiting for," Slider kissed his head, "It's all going to be ok, Baby. Trust me."

------------

Like Mav had said, Ice took the best nap of his life. It was the kind of nap where you wake up not entirely sure where you are. When he finally did wake up, it was well into the afternoon, and he was in bed, with pajamas on, and a sudden stuffy nose. When he sat up, the congestion shifted, sending a tickle through his sinuses. The fit that followed made his head swim and was probably a record. 

"You're up!" Mav came in with some hot cocoa, "I kept re-heating this, not sure when you'd wake up." 

"Thanks," Ice took the cup, but didn't take a sip.

"It's not going to bite you," Mav sat down on the bed and rubbed his legs, "How are you feeling?"

"Fuzzy," Ice took a small sip, still unsure of what to do, "I think I just had a breakdown." 

"Yeah," Mav squeezed his leg, "about damn time too." 

"Why am I not upset about it?"

"Because you're healing," Mav took the mug and put it on the nightstand, "you're not as tightly wound as you used to be."

"I think I'm too tired to be embarrassed." 

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about," Slider came in with another blanket, beginning to tuck it around Ice's shoulders, "you are officially taking a sick day tomorrow. Told 'em you got food poisoning."

"I just had a panic attack about gaining weight, and you think I should double up? I'm not good at sick days."

"You used to be bad at sick days," Slider put a hand on Ice's forehead, "But you're not the same Ice I met all those years ago." 

"So, you think it's good I gained weight."

"Babe, You gained 3 pounds, that's nothing," Slider kissed his forehead, "besides, I'd love you if you gained 100 or lost 100. I just can't stand watching you count calories. I want to split desserts and get you a birthday cake. I want to get you chocolates on Valentine's day. I want you to eat what sounds good instead of what is on that impossible diet you used to be on. I want you to enjoy food. I want you to be healthy, not just physically, but mentally." 

"Still working on the 'mentally'..part." Ice looked down at the blankets.

"Besides, you know that couples gain weight naturally when they feel safe and comfortable, right?" Mav poked Ice's shoulder, "This just means you like us."

"Was that not clear before?" Ice smiled slightly.

"It was subject to debate," Mav teased and kissed him.

Ice yawned silently behind his fist.

"I think you're due for another nap," Slider tucked him back into bed, "when you wake up, I'll have dinner ready." 

"Guess... I could eat."

Mav bent down and kissed his forehead, "That's our guy."

 

 

 

 

[dwaekki]

Please this is so sweet 😭 I wish someone would comfort me how mav and slider comfort ice but here we are... I'm working on comforting myself as my mental health improves lmao so thank you for highlighting this as we all work together to get better ❤️ I hope everything is well for you, I was very excited to see this update!! I hope you write more soon, I feel like I've been lacking sneezy and hurt/comfort stories lately and you're writing is some of the best 😊

[Wolfwings22]

This was incredible! As always your writing is top tier and I love the personalization you put into it. I feel as writers that’s the most powerful thing we can do is use our own experiences to write because it feels that much authentic. Know if you ever need anyone to talk to I’m here. I too have struggled with eating disorders throughout my life. I don’t want to go into detail in case that’s potentially triggering but just know you’re not alone. Everyday can be a real struggle but know you have people rooting for you every step of the way. I also loved how your showed that something positive to someone else the mind can always trick into a negative. That’s been a real struggle for me throughout the years and to see it in writing is almost freeing. Amazing as always and you know I can’t wait for more!

[Mygyn]

On 2/22/2024 at 2:48 AM, RemedyBane said:

So, I apologize, but i consider yall my friends and after the things you have told me,  I think it's only fair I show a little vulnerability myself. 

Thank you for sharing this incredibly personally part of your journey with us ❤️ it’s been a God awful two weeks so this update really made my day. I love the way you consistently have Ice in a place to receive support from his boys! 

[RemedyBane]

I just wanted to remind yall I'm still here. I'll write something new soon.. besides this. 

 

Bed Rot

He shouldn't have gone into work today. Sweat was soaking through his undershirt, which he had changed twice already. The fever was sapping all of his energy and it was making it really hard to focus on paperwork. It was just one page, and he couldn't get through the first sentence, without having to re-read it. This was going no where. 

"Lieutenant Hsu, come in please," Ice called to his assistant who was just stationed outside the door.

"Yes, sir?" 

"Cancel my appointments, i'm going home," Ice stood up and began to gather his things.

"I will let your appointments know something has come up," he nodded and came closer, "Would you like me to bring your car closer?" 

"No," Ice smiled slightly at the kid, "I think I can manage."

"Of course, sir," The Lieutenant nodded and walked out.

Ice loved his assistant. He was perfect. He understood discretion, did not ask a lot of questions, and was great at covering for him. No one needed to know if he was unwell, and he had kept the secret of the chemo. He was a indispensable. 

"Lieutenant?" Ice began to walk out of his office, "would you call Maverick and let him know?"

"Yes sir," The man quickly grabbed the phone and dialed the number by memory. 

"Thank you." 

He had hoped he would make it to his car before he got a ring on his phone, but alas, there was the ringtone, "Admiral Kazansky."

"Ice," It was Maverick, of course, "are you sick?"

"That's not what the scans told me."

"You're going home early. You don't do that unless you're sick."

Ice got into the car and turned it on, "I think I may have a slight... fever."

"Fever?!" There was shuffling in the background, "I'll be home in 10."

"It's really nothing, Mav. I just want to go home and rest."

The background noise stopped, "didn't think it would take 30 years for you to actually take our advice."

Ice chuckled slightly before coughing, "I think cancer forced me to listen."

"You really don't feel well."

"I don't think i've felt well since our time at top gun, Mav."

"Honey-"

"I should get home. I'll see you in 10." Ice hung up the phone and threw it in the backseat. He didn't want to talk to anyone. The fever was making him cold and hot all at the same time, and the frustration was beginning to send acid into his throat. No matter how many times Slider and Mav take care of him, it still felt foreign and shameful. He should be able to take care of himself without all this fuss, but cancer doused that fire very quickly. It was a humbling experience. He would be so weak he couldn't get out of bed. The memory of the home nurses made him shutter. He really should look into getting a new bed. Maybe re-design the whole bedroom.

He pulled into the driveway and was confused to see the jeep there as well, "bradley?" 

"Pops!" Bradley ran out from the house and opened the door for him, "Mav called me."

"Of course he did," Ice coughed lightly, before letting Bradley bring him to his feet.

"I made you some tea," Bradley pulled him in for a hug, "Go inside and sit down, i've got your stuff."

"You do know, the guardians are suppose to take care of you, not the other way around."

"I think it goes both ways, Pops," Bradley handed Ice the keys to his car, "Go."

"Bossy," Ice smiled slightly but went over to the house, as ordered with Bradley right behind him.

-----------

Mav pulled into the driveway, happy to see the Jeep and Ice's car already there. He didn't want Ice to be alone, even for a second. Rushing out of the car and running to the door, he fumbled with the keys, ending up dropping them, "Shit." 

The door opened to reveal Ice wearing comfy clothes, glasses on, and frown on his face, "you called our son on me."

Mav grabbed his fallen keys before coming up to kiss Ice, "Yup. You've been ambushed."

"He has better things to do, then draw me a bath." 

"Nope," Mav kissed him again, "free as a bird. He was going to stop by anyway for a home cooked meal." 

"I can do that-"

"Nope," Mav grabbed Ice by the waist and brought him inside, "the only thing you're doing is laying down on that couch with your medicine."

"I've already taken it," Ice cleared his throat, "It's probably nothing." 

"Nothing is nothing, you know that," Mav sat him down on the couch and knelt by him, "the doc said you needed to be careful."

"I came home, didn't I?" 

"I'm proud of you," Mav took his hand, "I know it's not easy for you, but I also remember a time you would go to work with a 107 fever and work until you passed out in the parking lot."

"I did not-"

"Do I need to patch in Slider? Because I'm pretty sure he was the one to take your temperature."

Ice leaned back into the couch, "I surrender."

"Speaking of temperatures," Mav raised a brow.

"101," Ice whispered.

Bradley came in, "103!"

"Tom!" Mav frowned at Ice.

"Bradley." Ice glared at the kid.

Bradley was staring at the ceiling, "I'm an adult, the glare doesn't work."

"The glare works on SecNAV," Slider came in, "It works on everyone." He came closer and kissed the top of Ice's head, "stop trying to scare the kid and come let me tuck you into bed."

"It's 4 in the afternoon."

"You should have stayed in bed this morning," Mav stood up and helped Ice up, "and you call me reckless."

"I didn't crash a multi-million dollar plane to prove a point."

"It wasn't just to prove a point," Mav put Ice's arm around his shoulders, "It was to save the mission from failing."

"You crashed it because you went too fast."

"That... was to prove my point," Mav kissed Ice's shoulder, "come on, not more shop talk." 

"Maybe a little more?" Slider looked concerned, "What the hell are you two talking about?" 

Ice squeezed Slider's hand, "later."

--------------

Ice had managed to take a three hour nap, comfortably in his bed. When he woke, he didn't feel as dreadful as earlier, but that probably had a lot to do with just how comfortable the bed was. Now he lay awake, staring at the ceiling and just wishing the mattress would absorb him until he no longer existed.

As much as he loved him comfortable he was, he also hated that it meant he was stuck in bed for God knows how long. Even though he'd just taken a nap, he was still exhausted. His muscles ached, and he wasn't sure if he could sit up by himself. Mav was right to scold him earlier. He should have stayed in bed this morning. He hated when Mav was right.

"Hey Handsome," speak of the devil. 

"Hi," Ice croaked out, eyes blearily looking towards the man, unable to see what he was carrying without his glasses.

"I thought you might be hungry," Mav set a bowl of soup on the nightstand before kissing Ice's forehead, "you're still really warm."

"Fever's tend to stick."

"I know," Mav sat on the bed and brushed some hair out of Ice's face, "gonna tell me how you're feeling?" 

"Are you going to tell me who you were trying to piss off with that stunt?" 

"Fine," Mav got up again, "I'll go make you some tea."

"Mav-" 

"you're all raspy. I'll be right back." 

Ice closed his eyes tightly, not meaning to start a fight. He was just angry and frustrated with this. Being helpless like this was not bringing back good memories.

Slider slid in next, "why is Maverick angrily making tea?" 

"Because I"m a stubborn idiot," Ice coughed off to the side.

"I doubt that," Slider helped him sit up and grabbed the soup from the nightstand, "Stubborn, sure, but definitely not an idiot."

"I pressed where I shouldn't have," Ice let Slider feed him some soup, "I know he wasn't ready to talk."

"Is this about the stunt?" Slider raised a brow, "Babe, he just doesn't want to go off on a rant while you're sick."

"I'm always sick," Ice's hand came out from the covers and stopped Slider from giving him another spoonful, "Ron, please."

"I feed you because I love you," Ron put the soup down and jumped into the bed, next to Ice, crawling in, "I know you probably want to shut the world out and go back to hiding in you room until this cold is over." 

"I'm sorry," Ice leaned his head on Ron's shoulder, "You've been so patient with me-"

"and I promise to be patient with you until the day I die."

"I know I'm reverting back to old.. habits."

"Cancer changed a lot of things for us," Slider kissed his head, "you lost a lot of autonomy, twice, and I understand now that you have a chance to get it back, you're reluctant to let it go again." 

Ice took a breath, that just ended with him coughing. 

"It's ok, Tom." Slider rubbed his back.

When Ice got his bearings, he leaned back against him, "I am so tired of being tired all the time."

"I know it feels like every time you're ok, you're suddenly not ok. From where I'm standing, you are doing so much better than you realize. This time two years ago, we thought we'd lose you forever. Every breath you took was a battle, and we'd go to sleep terrified you wouldn't wake up with us. Now you can walk on your own, go to work again, eat."

Ice could hear the tension in Sliders voice. He always got tight when the talked about the cancer. He was holding back tears.

"The cancer is gone." 

"I know," Slider sniffed and rubbed his eyes, "I know."

"it's just, staying in this room," Ice closed his eyes, "It makes me feel like i'm still sick."

"Me too," Slider looked at Ice, "God, I thought I was the only one."

"I hate this room," Ice had tears running down his face.

Slider couldn't stand to see that, so he kissed him, "Let's gut the room."

"What?" 

"Let's change it. Let's change the floor plan. New bathroom, new closet, new bedroom." 

Ice looked around the room and shivered, "I think a new coat of paint would help a lot."

"Let me gut it," Slider started kissing along Ice's neck, "let's start over."

"We'd have to ask Pete. It is his room too."

"Ask me what?" Pete came in through the door with a steaming cup of tea.

"Slider wants to gut the master bedroom."

"Oh yes!" Mav looked so relieved.

Ice's let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding, "you all see it too?" 

"God," Maverick put the tea down, "I can't stand this paint color. I keep waking up thinking we're back in the hospital." 

Ice let out a bitter laugh, "I do too." 

"Let's change it all. We can stay in the guest room, different bed, different wall color. God know you could use a change of scenery." Mav sat down on the bed.

Ice nodded slowly, "trying not to show how eager he was for this." 

"I'll go wash the sheets," Mav was out of the bedroom before he finished the sentence.

"We're really doing this?" 

"Oh yeah," Slider began kissing Ice again, "but, if I may, have one tiny suggestion?" 

"Of course," Ice kissed him back.

"We got to the vacation house until this is over," Slider leaned back, "You could use the fresh mountain air, and I don't want you around with all of the dust and debris from this takedown."

"This would take longer than a few days, Ron."

"You can work from there. They know you're immunocompromised." Slider took his hand and kissed the back of it, "you've been getting sick so often, and I wonder if this room isn't helping."

"Perhaps," Ice cleared his throat, "a vacation would not hurt." 

"Fresh air," Slider kissed him, "just the three of us," he kissed him again, "fresh grapes." another kiss.

"How will Maverick stay over there? He would be too far from base-"

"Let me worry about that," Slider kissed him again, "I still have a few favors."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Mygyn]

On 4/15/2024 at 1:48 AM, RemedyBane said:

 

I just wanted to remind yall I'm still here. I'll write something new soon.. besides this. 

 

Missed you! Glad to see your back ❤️

[Wolfwings22]

A billion out of ten as always. I absolutely love when I see that you’ve updated. It certainly makes my entire day. Thanks for still continuing this thread. I know it’s a lot of work but the way you write these characters is unmatched and I look forward to an update whenever you post! 

[SeriSerine]

I just want to say thank you because this thread actually introduced me to Top Gun! Which is kinda funny because I grew up as a Navy brat 😅. Your writing is so so so good! I felt like I knew the characters before even watching the movies. Can't wait to see another update!

[Sneeziestofthemall]

How is this the first time I read this??? This is so good thank you for sharing 😍😍😍