I have the Cheese!

[squealofapproval]

I visit your mansion, trip on a cleverly placed banana, and sue you for the cheese.

I have the cheese.

[March Hare]

I offer to house-sit for you while you go on vacation. When you return, there is no cheese in the fridge. I have the cheese! (Upside: the house-sit is free.)

[Chanel_no5]

I bring you a huge birthday cake ( ) and when you're focused on blowing out all the candles, I sneak away with the cheese. Now I have the cheese!! (but you have a cake...)

[Merc_With_A_Mouth_69]

I make you some pancakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon, and bring you a surprise breakfast in bed. While you are eating my delicious home-cooked meal, I go back down to your fridge to get you some orange juice to wash it down with, and I pocket the cheese while I'm in there. Now I have the cheese!

By the way,

I flirt with you outrageously until, totally taken by my charms, you ask me out and I accept. We have a fantastic time and soon hardly a day goes by without us seeing each other. After a whirlwind six months, you propose and we are wed the next spring. The years pass and we grow older. Sometimes we fight, as every couple does, but we never go to bed angry and we remain the best of friends and devoted partners. Eventually, you peacefully die in your sleep at the ripe old age of 92. Of course, in your will you left everything to me soooo....

I now have the cheese

I laughed so hard at this.

[SneezyHolmes]

Knocks on door disguised as a door to door salesperson. While you admire my large collection of vacuums, I snag the cheese.

Now I have the cheese!

[jano]

I planted a metal pin in the cheese, and whip out my comically huge magnet, pulling the cheese to me. Now I have the cheese!

[MoonDuck]

I send a clever mouse after you to get the cheese for me, after training him well through a series of small, cardboard mazes, and he obediently brings it to me. Now I have the cheese.

[Kiwifruit]

As everyone knows, Moon Ducks are terribly afraid of Sun Ducks. I train a fleet of Sun Ducks to black belts in every known martial art and command them to relieve you of the cheese. The operation proceeds without a hitch and you flee in terror as my Sun Ducks deliver the cheese back to me.

I now have the cheese.

[squealofapproval]

I hack into your computer and implant a Trojan horse software that will only uninstall if you give me the cheese. You struggle on and off with giving it to me but finally surrender.

Now I have the cheese.

[count tiszula]

I start the Great Fire of London. And thence to Mr Pepys's house. where I mark in his garden that he has digged a hole and buried in it his whole Parmesan lest it be looted by the mob. The Pepyses depart for the South Bank. As a thief on the night I creep in and dig it up. And now....now....

Now I have the cheese.

[SneezyRae]

I bake a rather delicious lemon cake which you find much more delicious than cheese so happily give it up. Now I have the cheese

[PetalPunk]

I've never played this game, mind if I give it a try?

I 'accidently' push your delicious cake in your face

Now I have the cheese

[Jorm]

I have strewn the floor with marbles, now I have the cheese.

[TheCakeIsAlive]

You suddenly become lactose intolerant and no longer want the cheese. I happen to be passing by.

Now I have the cheese.

[Anonymouse]

I turn you into a wheel of cheese using a magic spell. Now I have two cheeses.

[Snufaleeze]

I I distract you with pizza while I take the two cheese's, eat one of them , and now I have the cheese!

[Merc_With_A_Mouth_69]

1. I spread mustard on 9 slices of balogna.

2. I build an elaborate machine containing no less than 34 moving rods, 26 gears, a hamster, a face made out of Lego, and a slinky.

3. ??????

4. I have the cheese!

[SneezyHolmes]

I fake choking on the bologna and while you perform the Heimlich,I chloroform you and steal the cheese. Now I have the cheese!

[tenderwarrior]

I take you into your living room, distract you with cheese pamphlets and steal the cheese. Now I have the cheese!

[squealofapproval]

I hook you on a popular British tv show and offer you the cheese in return for a box set with all the episodes and how they made them. You're welcome. Now I have the cheese.

[SneezyRae]

I scatter lego over your bedroom floor. When you wake in the morning you stand on it dropping the cheese because of the excruciating pain. Now I have the cheese

[squealofapproval]

I build a Lego castle around you using the Legos on my floor and use a grappling hook to grab the cheese. Haha! Now I have the cheese.

[SneezyHolmes]

I crash through the wall dressed as the Kool-Aide man and yell "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH YYYEEEEAAAAHHHHHHH!" and in the frenzy, I grab the cheese. Now I have the cheese!

[Merc_With_A_Mouth_69]

I grab a straw and drink all the Kool-Aid out of your costume. Now with nothing but a transparent pitcher covering your tenders, you run out of the room to find some clothes, dropping the cheese in the process. I pick it up, now I have the cheese!

[Jorm]

I engage you a discussion of metaphysical philosophy leading you to question the very existence of cheese. Now I have the cheese.