#fetishproblems

[SleepingPhlox]

When you get a 4 page list of health and safety rules for entering a site and you're supposed to forward it to your staff...BUT OOPS you started reading it and the very first rule is: no coughing or sneezing near equipment, products or packaging and you are so enamoured with the thought of people struggling to adhere to that that you kinda forget what you were doing and also forget to forward the document. #fetishproblems

[Elyze]

When you work in an office with 90% women during cold/allergy season and there is sneezing in every direction, and you just wish one of the three men present would sneeze. Just once? Please?

When you're out and hear a wonderful sneeze and start to look around for the source only to find that a. He is to young to legally fantasize about, b. He is of your grandfather's generation or c. He closely resembles a troll - so you wish you just hadn't looked and could replay the sound in your head pretending it came from whichever random handsome guy happens to be present.

[FadedRose]

That moment when your 30 year old cousin snapchats you a selfie with a completely drenched shirt captioned "This is what happens when you accidentally sneeze while you're taking a pill." And you get so uncomfortable, oml #fetishproblems

[Ja16]

When your at the grocery store and someone is having an intense sneezing fit and you just happen to keep going to the same asile #fetishproblems

[Kaze Wo Hiku]

When caretaking in real life is never as fluffy and cute as in ficts and you're just...disappointed #fetishproblems

[Chanel_no5]

When a video shows up in your recommended-list at YouTube, with your favourite celebrity, and the thumbnail pic makes it look like they're mid-buildup but it turns out not to be the case, and now you have to deal with the disappointment and your body's initial response. My heart is currently beating so hard and fast I can feel it in my mouth. #fetishproblems

 

Also, when you have to get medical attention for something nose/sinus related and you're fretting over if any part of it is going to make you sneeze.  #fetishproblems

 

Edited August 14, 2017 by Chanel_no5

[Elyze]

When you walk into a grocery store and immediately hear that sneeze - the one that sounds just perfect, the one that you thought only existed in your daydreams, the ONE! But it was distant and you couldn't hear it as well as you wished... so you start walking up and down the aisles hoping to hear it again, and possibly even see who the sneezer was, only to be forced to give up after having walked through the whole store several times. Just pay and go home, no more yummy sneeze 

#fetishproblems

[Masked Chaos]

When your friend that you want to see sneeze is sitting next you, takes a deep breath, flares their nostrils... and yawns!

And then precedes to do the same thing, numerous times, tricking you each time. #fetishproblems

[CeruleanBlue]

When you're watching a video with headphones on specifically for the sneeze and you know it's at the very beginning. And just after you hit play and people start talking, you realize that for whatever reason, your volume is up way too much. And you have a mini freak out because there's a decent chance it would be loud, even though it wouldn't even be that loud, so you flail around like an idiot trying to stop the video and failing and you just end up closing your laptop. Yes, I am an idiot lol.

Also, when someone attractive is trying to not sneeze and they struggle for a while and they succeed, and you can't decide if you're disappointed or blessed for watching the struggle.

[March Hare]

When you're outside and you hear a sneeze, and another one immediately after, and you look around thinking "ooo someone havin a good fit up out here" and wtf there's no one there and it KEEPS GOING and suddenly you realise HOHHHMUHGUH IT IS ONE A DEM SHEEP OVER THERE. HELLTOTHEFUCKNOHELPSEEYABYYYE SOMEONE PASS ME THE MEMORY BLEACH PLS. 

No but seriously the sound is disturbingly similar.  #fetishproblems

[Chanel_no5]

1 minute ago, March Hare said:

HOHHHMUHGUH IT IS ONE A DEM SHEEP OVER THERE.

Oh man...!!  I feel your pain. No. No I don't. But I'm laughing at it.  

 

[Elyze]

2 hours ago, March Hare said:

When you're outside and you hear a sneeze, and another one immediately after, and you look around thinking "ooo someone havin a good fit up out here" and wtf there's no one there and it KEEPS GOING and suddenly you realise HOHHHMUHGUH IT IS ONE A DEM SHEEP OVER THERE. HELLTOTHEFUCKNOHELPSEEYABYYYE SOMEONE PASS ME THE MEMORY BLEACH PLS. 

No but seriously the sound is disturbingly similar.  #fetishproblems

Sorry, this was seriously one of the funniest things I've ever read! I'll just take your word for the similarity of sound, don't think I've ever heard that. You recovered from the shock yet? Life goes on even after such traumatic experiences, I'm sure...

[pixiefurby124]

When you are watching the class "sick" episode of a TV show alongside your family, and the really cute character sneezes or blows their nose and your face gets all red and you get turned on.

The crush you are staring at from across the room sneezes, and when people go to bless her realize you've been staring at her throughout the whole thing.

[Kaze Wo Hiku]

When you're watching something and one of the commentators goes by a name that is on your can't say, can't type CANNOT STAND list and you want to claw your skin off everytime it's mentioned... #fetishproblems

[CeruleanBlue]

When you watch a video about 20 times where someone was adorable and sneezing, and while you feel blessed it exists, you're also extremely dazed and kind of shaken for a long time because of how attractive it was. And you find yourself rewinding it for the 21st time.

[zneeze]

When your roommate whom you're not attracted to, whom you're actively unattracted to, announces to you that he's "caught a cold" and he'll try not to breathe the same air as you. Then when you spend the majority of the day out of the house away from him as much as possible and you come home to a) see a Neti pot (yuck) and b ) not be able to avoid hearing him blow his stupid nose in a disgusting dry kind of sound. When you try to blast television while you eat and the stream keeps cutting out leaving you with silence, which is exactly the times he blows his nose and hocks and tries to clear his throat. WHEN YOU HAVE BEEN DRINKING ON AND OFF ALL DAY AND CAN'T SEEM TO FIND A WAY TO COPE WITH THIS AND FEEL LIKE YOU CAN'T SPEND TIME IN YOUR OWN HOUSE

EDIT TO ADD: HE ACTIVELY MOVES FROM HIS BEDROOM TO THE BATHROOM TO BLOW HIS NOSE, HE DOESN'T CLOSE THE DOOR AND IT'S JUST TOO MUCH

Edited September 5, 2017 by zneeze

[Chanel_no5]

When you're struck by fetish high and can't focus on anything outside of sneezing and related things...!!  #fetishproblems

[CeruleanBlue]

When your friend is showing you random things on Instagram and comes across a sneezing compilation and plays it, saying, "Oh, isn't this so cute??"

And it's long.

... And you told that friend that you have the fetish but you're not sure if they remember or if that's why they're showing you it.

But you're grateful none of it was stuff you hadn't seen or particularly especially attractive, because you would have blushed otherwise.

[Elyze]

When hubby asks if you have Skype on your phone and if he can have a look at it since his father can't figure it out, and you hesitate because you don't want him seeing or asking questions about your other account and username. 

Equally good is when he wants to show you something on YouTube and your phone is the closest device, but you remember you're still logged in under said other username where you save all sneezy goodness. Quickly switch account...! (Let's add to this that every device in this household is registered to my regular e-mail so history is shared. I recently made the mistake of thinking it was safe enough to watch an interview of an athlete in which he sneezed on the shared tablet and before I know it friendly YouTube suggests a ton of videos with half naked sweaty athletes to watch everywhere we have YouTube. Fortunately it wasn't worse than that, but I learned my lesson...)

[riyona_ebooks]

Idk if this is has been said already but-

When you somehow end up sick and suffering so you start mentally projecting your illness onto your favorite character as a coping mechanism.

[FadedRose]

When you're talking with your friend about how her dad had to move out of state for work and she starts talking about "what if he gets sick?" And starts describing how hard illness hits him and you're trying to be sympathetic without being grossed out by imagining an older man completely bedridden. #fetishproblems

[MeForever]

When your friend is playing with your sleeve and someone sneezes ridiculously cute RIGHT BEHIND YOU and you have to ignore it and try not to react in any way. This happened Friday. So hard, so so hard... #fetishproblems

[Elyze]

When you're out walking and hear a soft sneeze or a soft nose blow and start looking around for the source, only to realize it was (another) false alarm as you manage to identify the sound. Seriously, how can so many completely different sounds register as a sneeze or nose blow in my ears? Wishful thinking 

[Stimuli]

When you are reading the best gosh darn sneezy story of all time on public transport and you miss your stop. Oops

[Saimou]

When an attractive girl sits next to you in a bus, and at the end of your ride you pretty much want to punch her, cause she sniffled and rubbed her nose the entire ride, but. Didn't. Sneeze. Once. #fetishproblems